(A/N Warning! There's a pretty bit argument in this chapter. Yelling, shouting, mean-ness etc. If you're not comfortable with that I advise you to skip this chapter. Also, I'm not an idiot, I know the virus started in spring, and in this story its winter. just ignore that)

The school officially called it. All online now. We still lived in our dorms, we just couldn't attend actual class. Also, I couldn't even leave my dorm without a permission slip. We had to email the main office, have someone come up, we fill out the paper they give us, they approve or decline it, and then we can leave.

Worst part is that we've got community bathrooms. They are constantly being wiped down, but some students believe its so much work just to go to the bathroom that its better just to go in a bowl and then dump it out the window. Honestly, I was probably going to start doing that too.

And then I cant even see the Schuyler's. They, living across the hall, can only see us if we all take the time to sign paperwork and meet up outside school. Its so dumb, that the Schuyler's have handing out already filled out paper work to everyone. 

All this time alone from friends was starting to kill me. I had Laf and Herc, sure, but the Schuylers where barely able to see us and I couldn't see Alexander. Oh, how I miss Alex. Hes so perfect. I just want to hold him in my arms, look into his eyes, t- I stopped my thoughts right there and went back to my Language Arts homework.

~Week long time skip brought to you by Hotel, Trivago~

I stared out my window. I could not get Alex out of my head. I wondered what he was doing right now. Filming his movie? Getting closer and closer with his actor friends? Proposing to some lucky girl? I sighed again. Suddenly I felt something hit my cheek.

"OW!" I said in shock, lifting a hand to my face.

"Stop sighing!" Lafayette said angrily. "Your making everyone here feel more depressed then they are!"

"Well, I'm sorry then. Its not my fault I cant see anyone anymore!" I shot back.

"You can see US! You can see the Schuyler's when you want to! Stop being one of those people who sit around and do nothing! We are all struggling through something right know and your making it worse!" Lafayette said.

"I can see YOU GUYS ANYTIME I want to! But I cant see who I WANT to see!" I shouted.

"AND WHO IS THAT?" Lafayette roared. 

"ALEXANDER!" I shouted.

"OH, SO THE GUY YOU BARELY KNOW IS WORTH MORE OT YOU THEN US?" Lafayette said angrily.

"Guys, stop," Hercules said, coming over to us. "We are all on edge right now, calm down."

"YOU NEED TO UN-CALM DOWN! WE ARE IN A PANDEMIC! WE CANT SEE OUR FAMILIES WHO ARE DYING!" I roared.

"Don't take this out on him!" Lafayette said.

"MY FAMILY IS DYING! I CANT SEE THE PERSON I LOVE! AND YOU GUYS SIT AROUND LIKE ITS NOTHING, ASKING ME TO PUT ON A HAPPIER VIBE SO YOU CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELVES!" I said, tears streaking down my face.

"The person you love?" Hercules asked.

"I AM WORRIED! I WORRY ABOUT THE ONES I LOVE EVERY DAY! I WORRY FOR YOUR FAMILY, I WORRY FOR HERC'S FAMILY!" Lafayette shouted at the same time Hercules talked.

"MY FAMILY IS DYING AND YOU THINK I SHOULD SIT AROUND, SMILING, NOT CARING AT ALL!? YOU WANT ME TO LOOK HAPPY SO YOU CAN FEEL HAPPY?! ITS NOT THIS PERFECT FANTASY FOR EVERYONE!" I shouted, more tears streaming down my cheeks.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!" Lafayette yelled.

I turned away from them, and stomped towards the door. I don't care about stupid permission slips, I was going to go to a freaking Caribou Coffee. Nothing was going to stop me. I grabbed my jacket, hanging on a coat rack near the door, and put it on. Then I opened the door, walked outside, and slammed it with as much force as I could behind me.

*~*

I was really missing John. We could barely exchange text messages due to his new extra busy school day. I ended up texting Thomas more then texting John, due to Thomas mysteriously having less homework. I knew John thought he was a bad person, he was probably skipping assignments in Johns eyes, but I thought that maybe he was just smart and quick to finish his work.

HamChops: Hiya

ThomasTheGreat: Hows my boy doin?

HamChops: Wow, you responded quickly.

ThomasTheGreat: yeah, thanks for distracting me form class work

HamChops: Oh, I'm so sorry! You should get back to work.

ThomasTheGreat: pfft, no, thanks for getting me out of work. i dont want to do that kind of crap, you freed me of some boring school stuff

HamChops: Wait, you want to skip work?

ThomasTheGreat: Yeah, I skip all my work. How else would I be able to respond to your texts?

HamChops: That's bad. You should go do your work!

ThomasTheGreat: what? no. work is dumb. i get my money from my parents, and if they dont give it too me, i just take it lol. i dont need a career, ive got all i need.

HamChops: Thomas, thats really not good. So far I thought you where a good person!

ThomasTheGreat: I am a good person. dont you say im not. or your in for it. 

HamChops: What? Are you threatening me?

ThomasTheGreat: yes, f course i am. i can stalk you and take you out whenevr i want to

HamChops: Your grammar sucks.

ThomasTheGreat: YOUR A IDIOT!

Woah woah woah. That... escalated very quickly. Hes been so nice to me for so long, we had friendly conversations, sometimes traded future plans. Now hes admitting he is an idiot, skips homework, steals money! And he was one of my only friends! This really hurt. Betrayal was one of my worst weaknesses. 

HamChops: I thought you where a good person. But you aren't. I'm leaving.

ThomasTheGreat: Wiat Alex it was a joke.

HamChops Has left the chat.

 I sighed. I needed some air. I had this feeling that I should not have left, he said it was a joke, but I also have a feeling John was right all along. He is just a bully. I stood up, walking out of the white army tent I had been sitting in. I needed fresh air, but not fresh air like this, air that was not from this area. I needed to get out, go somewhere.

I walked past some people, trying to hide myself. I was still not allowed to leave the camp, due to Covid 19 precautions. Even though Abraham had died, I think I appear later as a ghost or something, so that meant I was interacting with the actors still, meaning I couldn't risk getting sick.

But I was to fed up with this. Thomas was a good friend of mine, until I realized he was a fake friend. He was one of the only people I could have a nice conversation with. I stormed through the camp, and left into the woods. I kept walking through the leaf-less trees until I caught sight of the parking lot. I hurried up to it and opened my phone.

I called an Uber, surprisingly one was willing to come all the way up here. After thirty minutes of wait, I hoped inside and told them to drive me too a Caribou Coffee. I just wanted to go there. It was kind of a special place to me now, I don't know why, but I just felt like that was the place I needed to be. The place I could think for a moment and get my thoughts straight.

Right when I arrived at the place, I immediately thought of John. Although this was not the exact correct Caribou, the logo, the blues and browns, the style, just reminded me of him. I think I might be going insane. I really wished I could see him right now, but with all his school work hes probably never going t see me again.

He is such a great friend, someone I could use right now. I just lost Thomas, one of my only other friends, it would be great to go cry on someones shoulder because I'm way to emotional about betrayals. I wish I could shake my fear of betrayal. I would make so many more friends, so many more trust able people.

I pushed away my strangely emotional thoughts as I entered the place and found myself ordering a freaking Northern light medium latte with caramel. I had no idea where that order came from, I guess I just had some instinct to order it.

If only I lived closer to John, like less then an hour away. We could easily meet up at a Caribou together.

To bad nothing goes right for me.

Well except for maybe getting famous and being an actor-

Anyway, back to the topic of being lonely and sad.

(A/N this chapter feels weird to me. Did I do something wrong? Idk, but something seems off. I honestly just feel this way, and I re-read it, it just feels weird)