Chapter 6

I needed a fresh start—that was the first thing that popped into my head when I realized that my methods weren't working.

Hindi ko madadaan si Juancho sa harap-harapang tanungan. Hindi ko siya mapipilit na magpa-interview sa'kin. Hindi ko rin siya kayang dayain dahil lagi niya lang din naman akong nahuhuli.

I had to think of new ways to make an article out of him. Tatlong mga tanong lang naman ang kailangan kong masagot: ano ang relasyon niya sa tatay niya, ano ang masasabi niya sa kandidatura nito, at bakit siya rito nag-aaral?

I could actually spice up my article by talking about his relationship with Psyche, but I didn't want to cross another line. Hindi naman 'yon kasama sa mga sinabi ni Capuso. I just wanted to figure it out myself to add more interest to my project. Ngayon namang nalaman ko, hindi ko rin kayang ilagay.

"Mill, bakit gustong-gusto mo si Doraemon?"

Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip nang marinig ang maliit na boses ni Karsen. We were in bed, and she was cuddling me, her cheek resting on my shoulder. Ramdam ko ang mayumi niyang paghinga, at halata sa boses niya ang antok.

"Ako kasi, no'ng mga bata tayo, mahilig kay Barbie, 'di ba? Gusto ko 'yong damit niya, 'yong buhok niya, saka 'yong sapatos niya. For me, she is the very definition of beauty. Gusto ko lahat ng meron siya." She chuckled softly. "Si Mari, libro at mga notebook ang hilig. Anything that she can use at school. Tapos si Ate Kat, sketch pad saka mga lapis."

Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti sa sinabi niya. It reminded me of our childhood.

Bilang pangalawa sa pinakamatanda sa aming apat, pakiramdam ko ay batang-bata pa si Karsen. I forgot that she was getting old too. She was even asking such things now.

I wonder if she remembered how we used to be possessive of her and how she brought us together as friends.

She was the cutest kid in the shelter, alam naming tatlo nina Kat at Mari 'yon. Lagi siyang inaayusan ni Mari; ang mga lastik ay ginagawang panali sa buhok niya. Si Kat naman ay nakahiligan ang pagkarga at pangungulit sa kanya. Siya mismo ang nagpapatulog kay Karsen tuwing tanghali. Kapag gabi ay ichine-check pa niya kung maayos ang pagkakahiga nito.

I used to stand in the distance and observe them silently. I wanted to get closer to Karsen too, but I couldn't. Nahihiya akong lumapit sa kanya kahit na napapangiti ako kapag humahagigik siya. She could make anyone's day better, and I knew that as soon as a new foster parent came in, she'd be the first one to go home with them.

I was introverted as a kid, but Karsen was the one who knocked me out of my shell.

It was all clear to me—the day she was teased by the orphans and how she came running to me. Nagtago siya sa likod ko at inihawak ang maliit na kamay sa T-shirt ko. She was making small sobs, and tears were falling down her cheeks.

Nakangisi lang ako habang pinapagalitan ng caretakers dahil napagbuhatan ko ng kamay ang mga umaway sa kanya. They were sobbing, and I was secretly pleased with myself for giving them scratches. That was what they deserved for making the little ray of sunshine cry.

Ang liit-liit pa niya noon. Kahit na isang taon at kalahati lang ang tanda ko sa kanya, para siyang batang kailangang alagaan.

But now she was the tallest among us, and she could already stand up for herself. Hindi niya na ako kailangan.

"Mill..." naiinip na tawag niya. "Tagal sumagot."

"Tulog na 'ko," nakangiting sabi ko.

"Nagtatanong lang, eh." I could imagine her pouting. "Ang damot mo."

"Ano ba naman kasing klaseng tanong 'yan?"

Humigpit ang yakap niya sa'kin. "Sagutin mo lang. Bakit mo gusto si Doraemon?"

"Wala. Cute lang. Walang malalim na rason."

Lalong lumawak ang ngiti ko nang marinig ang mahihina niyang pagrereklamo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya itinatanong 'yon. Hindi naman interesante.

"Kapag nakaluwag-luwag ako, ibibili kita ng mas malaking stuffed toy," bulong niya matapos ang ilang sandal. "Ang liit niya, eh. Saka ang tanda na. Sa susunod, ibibili kita ng mas malaki kaysa sa'yo."

She sounded like she meant it... like she was sure that things would get better for us.

"Kung ano-ano na namang tinitira mo," pang-aasar ko na lang. "Matulog ka na. Maaga ka pa bukas."

Hinintay kong makatulog siya bago inayos ang paghiga niya. I then looked up at my small, worn stuffed toy that was just right above my head. Kinuha ko iyon at inilagay sa dibdib ko para yapusin.

Bago tuluyang magpadala sa antok ay sinagot ng utak ko ang tanong ni Karsen.

I like Doraemon because he never leaves. He's devoted to Nobita until the very end. He's a true friend and a lifelong companion. May sagot sa lahat ng problema at paulit-ulit na pinili ang manatili sa tabi ng kaibigan niya.

I like him for one simple reason—he stays.

Muntik akong ma-late sa first subject ko dahil hinintay ko pang matapos mag-ayos si Mari. Halos isang daang mura ang natanggap niya sa'kin dahil saksakan siya ng arte. Kitang-kita ko ang pagmamaldita sa mukha niya habang binubungangaan ko.

"Bye. Malasin ka sana ngayong araw," sabi niya pa bago kami maghiwalay.

Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng mahika mayroon ang bibig niya dahil pagkapasok ko sa room ay napatingin sa akin lahat ng kaklase ko. Wala pa ang professor namin kaya takang-taka ako sa patutsada nila. Miski si Sadie ay nakangisi na sa akin, para bang may nangyayaring alam niyang kasusuklaman ko.

Magtatanong pa lang ako kung ano ang eksena nila nang makita ko mula sa bintana si Ma'am Capuso na naglalakad papunta sa room namin. Agad ang pagkunot ng noo ko dahil wala naman kaming klase sa kanya ngayon.

"Ms. Velasco, upo," utos niya nang makapasok sa room.

Nagtataka man ay sumunod na lang ako. Bumati ang mga kaklase ko sa kanya pero nanahimik lang ako. Ewan ko ba. May parte sa akin ang kinakabahan dahil baka bigla niya akong tanungin tungkol sa update ng online publication ko.

"I asked every classroom president for the list of officers. Inaasahan kong makakatulong kayo sa Journalism Week natin," panimula niya. "Alam kong busy kayo dahil sa thesis n'yo pero hindi natin puwedeng ibigay lahat ng gawain sa Journalism Society. Join the activities, participate in the booth making contest as a section, and be cooperative. Ayokong mabalitaan na patamaran kayo sa pagsali."

Napahinga ako nang malalim. Mukhang siya ang organizer ng Journalism Week. Hindi naman siya nangingialam sa ganito noong nagdaang mga taon.

"Matagal pa naman. May oras pa kayo. On-going pa 'yong letters natin para mapirmahan ng campus director. I just don't want you to procrastinate. Ngayon pa lang, mag-brainstorming na kayo. Marami tayong bagong activities."

Pinalagutok ko ang mga daliri. Oo na, marami nang gagawin. Puwede bang umalis ka na?

"I need a list of those who will participate in the activities this week." She glanced at me. "Lalo 'yong sa Mr. and Ms. Journalism."

Para akong na-estatwa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero kinutuban agad ako nang masama.

I licked my lips as I bowed down to avoid her gaze. Shit, hindi puwede. Ikamamatay ko ang pagsali sa ganoon.

"Kailangan na kasing mag-practice ng production number at para na rin makapaghanda ng mga isusuot," she continued. "Mandatory 'to. Per section, hindi puwedeng walang representative."

Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Wala sa room namin ang magvo-volunteer na sumali, sigurado ako roon. Last year ay napilitan si Jewel na mag-participate dahil nagpanggap akong may dengue. Noong first at second year naman ay wala kaming naging representative. Tanda ko pa kung paanong napagsabihan ang buong section namin dahil doon.

Eh, lintek naman kasi! Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak nila at ako nang ako ang in-e-elect na muse! Alam na alam nilang pangkatarantaduhan lang ako!

"Mr. Ejercito and Ms. Velasco..."

I cursed in my head. Sinasabi ko na, punyeta!

"Kayo ang magre-represent ng section n'yo."

I bravely lifted my head and looked right into her eyes. Matigas akong umiling.

"Ayoko ho."

Ngumiti siya. "I know you'll say that."

I took a deep breath. Hindi makapang-asar ang mga kaklase ko. Marahil ay alam nilang seryoso ako sa hindi pagsali.

"How about I extend the deadline for your project if you get a place?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ma'am?"

"You heard it right, Ms. Velasco. I-e-extend ko ang special project mo kung sasali ka at mananalo. First runner up, second runner up, third runner up..." Umiling siya. "I don't care."

Natahimik ako. Two weeks before final exam ko kailangang matapos ang online publication ko. I still have more time. Kung i-e-extend niya, paano? Hindi ba sagad na ang ibinigay niyang due date sa'kin?

"I give decent incentives to active students. Kung para sa inyo, extracurricular activities lang 'to, para sa'kin, dito masusukat ang skills n'yo. Public speaking, leadership, and creativity skills. If Mr. Ejercito joined and won, I'll give him an extra point on his final grade."

Rinig ko ang pagsinghap ng mga kaklase ko. That was a good deal, lalo at running for Cum Laude si Derek. I believed he didn't need it, though. Kaya niya namang makakuha ng mataas na marka nang wala 'yon.

"At kung si Ms. Velasco naman, I'll extend the submission until the end of the semester, bago ako mag-file ng final grade. So, puwedeng during sembreak. May mga irregular student ako kaya mapapakiusapan ko si Dean na ihahabol ko na lang 'yong grades ng iba." Ma'am Capuso smiled. "I could include yours."

I clenched my fist.

No, I couldn't let myself be tempted. Kaya ko naman sigurong matapos ang online publication dalawang linggo bago ang final exam namin. I just needed to do a little more digging. I already have Juancho's class schedule. I could talk to his friends. I could continue observing him silently. Hindi ko kailangang magtanga-tangahan para sa pageant na 'yan.

Isa pa, kung sakali mang sasali ako, gaano ako nakakasiguradong mananalo ako? Tatlo ang section per year level. 12 participants 'yon kapag nagkataon. Eh, ni wala nga akong kaalam-alam d'yan!

I calculated everything in my head.

Kapag pumayag ako, makakakuha ako ng extrang dalawa hanggang apat na linggo. It's a bargain, but I can't give in to the urge. Tatapusin ko nang mabilis ang article. There's no need for me to buy more time.

"Thank you na lang po, Ma'am," I said. "Hindi po para sa'kin ang pagpa-pageant."

She shrugged. "Still, I need the names. Kapag walang sumali sa section n'yo, your participation is mandatory."

That explained why my classmates were giving me attention when I arrived. Nasabi na pala sa group chat namin na hiningi ni Ma'am Capuso ang list of officers at inaasahang ang muse at escort ang sasali sa pageant.

Badtrip tuloy ako kahit nang dumating ang professor namin. Kung hindi pa kami nag-break ay hindi ako titigil sa kasisimangot.

"Sumali ka na kasi. Experience din," sabi ni Sadie.

I scoffed at her. "Kapag sinapak ba kita at sinabi kong para sa experience din, papayag ka?"

Tumawa siya. "Wala ka namang choice, eh. Tingin mo ba may sasali sa'tin? Hindi na nga tayo magkaigi sa thesis."

Hindi ako sumagot dahil alam kong may punto siya. There were a lot of things we needed to get done, and this stupid project was taking up too much of my time.

Akala ko ay kaya kong tapusin ang lahat sa loob lang ng isang linggo. Kahit naman kasi alam kong ayaw magpa-interview ni Juancho, hindi ko akalaing tatanggi talaga siya.

Opinion and Commentary is one of our major courses. Kapag bumagsak ako rito ay hindi ako makaka-graduate on time. I'll have to retake it alongside the juniors. Basically, bukod sa thesis ay ito ang last requirement ko para makapasa. Maayos naman ang grades ko sa ibang courses. Hindi mataas pero pasado. If I can get through this, I'm sure I'll graduate without much trouble. Thesis at internship na lang ang aasikasuhin namin next sem. And so far, my thesis is looking good. Madali na ang internship.

Matapos ang klase ay hindi na ako nagpaalam kahit kanino. Dumiretso ako sa College of Law para makumpirmang nandoon si Juancho. He was listening intently to the one speaking in front. Nasa harap ang laptop at mukhang nagta-take down notes.

I stayed there for a minute before deciding to go to the faculty office.

"Anything I can help you with, miss?"

Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip na pumasok sa loob ng opisina. There was only one person in there. Malamang ay may klase ang iba.

"Good afternoon po. I'm Millicent Rae Velasco from BA Journalism, and I was tasked to write an article about Mr. Montero."

Huminga ako nang malalim. Hindi puwedeng magkaroon ng lugar ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

"Dahil hindi po pumayag si Mr. Montero na ma-interview ko, puwede ko po ba kayong matanong tungkol sa kanya?" I asked her. "Kung may oras lang naman po kayo. I'll also take photos and record our conversation."

She tilted her head. "I have no right to talk about him without his permission, Ms. Velasco."

Umiling ako. "No, Ma'am. Actually, tungkol lang po sa experience n'yo sa kanya. I won't ask anything personal."

Hesitant, she motioned the seat in her front. "Maupo ka nga."

Sumunod naman ako sa kanya. She asked for my ID, and I handed it to her without saying anything. I was just trying my luck. Hindi ko rin naman kasi sigurado kung naturuan ba nito si Juancho.

"Para sa'n 'to?" tanong niya.

"Para po sa online publication ko," sagot ko. "Sa ngayon, magtatanong-tanong po ako sa mga tao sa paligid ni Mr. Montero tungkol sa kanya. Hindi po kasi talaga siya pumayag."

She chuckled. "You're literally asking for the impossible."

Pinigilan ko ang mapangiti. So, she knows him. Good head start.

"Pribado po talaga siya?"

"Yeah, and it's normal because he's the son of a known governor. He really should keep a low profile."

Tumango-tango ako. "Naturuan n'yo na po ba siya? How is he as a student?"

Napaisip siya. She put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her knuckles. Itinanong niya kung nagre-record na ako at um-oo lang ako. I didn't want to lie about that.

"Juancho is one of the best students in the department," she started. "He's a student leader, at sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano niya naisisingit ang pagma-manage ng organization sa pag-aaral. He could have stepped down from his position, but he didn't. Kahit kaninong teacher mo itanong, wala kang makukuhang masama sa batang 'yon."

I smiled at that.

"He's good with his studies, and he never absents. Kahit may sakit ay pumapasok siya. Kaya siguro tandang-tanda rin namin siya." I could tell by her eyes that she liked Juancho. "Magalang, mabait, at responsable. May project siya noon para sa mga pagala-galang aso at pusa dito sa school. He raised funds to put them up for adoption. Hanggang ngayon, every 3 months, binibisita pa rin nila 'yong mga 'yon para tingnan kung naaalagaang mabuti."

I pursed my lips. He didn't seem like the type who would warm up to animals.

"Alam n'yo po ba 'yong dahilan kung bakit dito siya nag-aaral?"

"No, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you," she replied.

I nodded, understanding her point. "Sa pagkakakilala n'yo po sa kanya, do you think he'll follow in his father's footsteps?"

"Yeah." Sigurado ang naging pagtango niya. "He'll make a good leader. Hindi ko alam kung ipu-pursue niya 'yon pero bagay sa kanya. He'll do so well in the government, if ever. He knows how to argue well. He stands for what is right and just." She had a proud look on her face. "Juancho is a man of high moral standards."

Nagpasalamat ako sa kanya sa natapos na interview. She told me a few more things about Juancho, but most of them were compliments. Para bang hindi ito nagkakamali para sa kanya.

Nagtanong pa ako sa mga bagong dating na professor pero halos iisa ang naging sagot nila. They liked Juancho as a student and a leader. Made me wonder if we were talking about different persons.

Ang Juancho na nakilala ko ay suplado at nakakatakot. Kung puwede lang siguro akong patayin ay matagal na akong sinaksak no'n.

Nag-inat ako habang papalabas ng faculty office. I collected information I believed I could use if I wrote a positive article about him.

Ang problema ko lang, wala namang nasagot sa mga tanong ko. I still had no idea about his relationship with his father, his thoughts about his governance or candidacy, or the reason why he chose to study here. Ang mga tanong na 'yon ay wala naman kasing ibang makakasagot kung hindi si Juancho.

"O si Psyche..." bulong ko sa sarili.

Napatigil ako sa pag-inat sa napagtanto. Juancho and Psyche seemed to have a relationship, so Psyche must have known more things about him.

Pero hindi naman niya para ikanta ang boyfriend niya! Kung hindi pumayag si Juancho na ma-interview, sure akong hindi rin siya papayag! It was too personal to reveal it to someone like me.

I started walking, my mind wandering. Dapat pala ay kinaibigan ko muna si Juancho para makapagsabi siya sa akin ng mga personal na bagay. Building rapport would be a long process, but it would help me write an article.

But then, it was too late for that. I should go on with my new tactic.

Ngayong natanong ko na ang mga professor niya, sunod kong tatanungin ang mga kaklase niya. Mas madalas niyang kasama ang mga 'yon. Maybe I could get something out of them.

"Juancho, mukhang may naghahanap ulit sa'yo!"

I was deep in thought when I heard that. Bumagal ang paglalakad ko nang makita si Juancho kasama ang mga kaklase sa labas ng room nila. Mukhang katatapos lang ng klase.

"Shut it," nakangising sagot ni Juancho sa nang-asar sa kanya.

With a quick shift of focus, his eyes found me.

Hindi ako makapagpatuloy sa paglalakad. They were all gathered in the hallway, and the brief teasing had turned their attention to me. Malamang ay natandaan nila ako dahil inabala ko rin si Juancho noon sa pagbaba sa hagdan.

"Uuna na ba kami?" pang-aasar pa ng isang kaklase sa kanya.

His gaze remained fixed on me, making me a little nervous. May maliit na ngisi pa rin sa labi niya na para bang tuwang-tuwa siya sa ginagawang panunukso.

I scoffed at the thought. He shouldn't be happy about being teased by another girl when he was all rainbows and butterflies to Psyche yesterday. Tigas naman ng pagmumukha niya.

I rolled my eyes and stood up straight before I started to walk again. Hindi ko alam kung niloloko baa ko ng mga mata ko dahil nabasa ko sa mukha niya ang kaunting gulat at pagkamangha nang hindi ako dumiretso sa kanya.

I just walked past them with my chin held high. Pasensya sila pero hindi ang impaktong 'yan ang dinayo ko!

Well, technically speaking, he is, but not to that extent! Hinding-hindi ko na siya lalapitan kung hindi kailangan! Mahirap na! Baka akalain pa ng girlfriend niya ay umaaligid ako sa kanya!

Nang makababa ako ng building ay rinig ko pa rin ang tawanan at kuwentuhan ng magkakaklase. Tumingala ako sa ikatlong palapag, at ganoon na lang ang pagwawala ng puso ko nang makita si Juancho na nakatingin din sa akin... para bang sinisilip ako.

I was about to raise him my middle finger when he lazily took his gaze off of me. Lumayo siya sa barandilya at nagsimulang maglakad hanggang sa mawala siya sa paningin ko.

I was so mad and confused as to why he had that effect on me. Sure, he intimidated me the moment I set eyes on him, but why the heck was I so tense whenever he was around?! Dinaig niya pa ang kaba ko kay Capuso!

I shook my head. Keep your cool, Millicent. Maayos ang naging huling pag-uusap n'yo kaya walang dahilan para mag-inarte ka. Pumayag siya sa interview. You should be freaking glad about that! Hindi 'yong para kang tarantadong kabit na nagseselos! Ni hindi mo nga siya gusto! Crush mo lang ang mukha niya!

Pagkauwi ko mula sa trabaho ay kabadong-kabado ako. Sinabi ko kay Coach ang tungkol sa enrollment ni Juancho at pinayagan naman niya akong mag-interview rito.

I cleared my throat more than a dozen times, and I even told Karsen to stay in Mari's room until I called her. Wala kaming napag-usapang oras ni Juancho tungkol sa interview kaya hindi ko alam kung kailan ako dapat tumawag o mag-text. I just sat there, staring at my notepad, with a few screening questions about his application to Knockout.

"Mill, matagal pa ba? Inaantok na yata si Karsen."

"Alas nuebe pa lang, teka!" sigaw ko kay Mari sa labas ng pinto ng kwarto. "Mabilis lang 'to! Mag-bonding muna kayo d'yan!"

I rubbed my palms together before picking up my phone. Kaya lang, hindi ko pa natitipa ang password ko ay nag-vibrate na ito.

The moment I saw the notification, my heart began to throb. I even had to take a deep breath to settle my nerves.

From: Salty Juancho

Nalimutan mo?

Ginulo ko ang buhok. "Millicent, lalaki lang 'yan. Umayos ka!"

To: Salty Juancho

Hindi. Katatapos ko lang kumain. Nagmamadali ka ba?

From: Salty Juancho

Ah, okay. Call me when you're free.

Wow, for someone who claimed to be busy, he replied pretty quickly. Sabagay, gabi na rin. Baka wala na siyang ginagawa.

To: Salty Juancho

I'll call you now.

Isang malalim na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko bago pinindot ang call button. And after just one ring, he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

I gritted my teeth to fight off the urge to melt into his baritone. Ni hindi ko alam na posibleng manikip ang dibdib ko dahil lang sa boses niya. It wasn't like he was a singer or something!

Mukha niya lang ang gusto ko. Wala nang iba. Never in a million years would I consider liking his voice! Mukha lang dapat! Hindi puwedeng madagdagan!

"Magsimula na tayo. Mabilis lang naman 'to."

Halos pasabugan ko ng confetti ang sarili nang hindi manlang nanginig ang boses ko.

"Okay."

Tumikhim ako. "This call is recorded. Ise-send ko kay Coach pagkatapos."

"Okay, Millicent."

Mariin akong napapikit. Kailan pa kami naging first-name basis?!

"I mean, Ms. Velasco."

I exhaled. Nagmulat ako at pilit na hindi pinansin ang agresibong pagtibok ng puso ko. I should be cool about it. Tinatawag ko siyang Juancho. Okay lang namang tawagin akong Millicent.

"Mill na lang," sabi ko.

"Oh," he stalled a bit. "That's your nickname?"

"Oo."

There was a brief silence before he spoke again.

"Mirae sounds better."

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko. "Mirae? Sino 'yon?"

"Millicent Rae."

I leaned against my chair, confused by what we were talking about. Still, I continued.

"My nickname is Mill because I'm a meal." I grinned at my own joke.

He sneered. "Did you just objectify yourself?"

Namilog ang mga mata ko. "Joke 'yon!"

"Whatever works for you, I suppose."

Inilayo ko ang telepono sa tainga at sinamaan iyon ng tingin na para bang nakikita ko si Juancho roon. Napakaarte ng hinayupak!

"Basta, 'wag mo nang pakialamanan. Magsimula na tayo."

Hindi na siya sumagot.

"Okay, uhm..." I bit my lower lip as I stared at the first question. "Why do you want to take Krav Maga?"

"Better defense, increased strength, and enhanced dynamic flexibility."

Napanguso ako. Ang generic naman ng sagot niya.

"Pero marunong ka na ng ibang martial arts, 'di ba?" tanong ko.

"Yeah. Taekwondo, aikido, and judo."

I nodded. "You do know that Krav Maga isn't considered a martial art, right? It's more of a self-defense system made for survival."

"Yes."

"So, I'm guessing that you want to learn this to improve your self-defense."

He sighed. "Right."

Napangiti ako. He wanted to learn more about self-defense, even though the martial arts he already knew could help him protect himself. That was good. Danger took no prisoners.

"Bakit sa Knockout?"

"Because my former training center doesn't teach Krav Maga," he said. "Hindi pa malayo sa campus."

God, mukhang wala talaga akong makukuha sa kanya.

"Okay. So, how do you intend to pay?"

"I have a part-time job."

Kumunot ang noo ko. I wanted to know if he wanted to pay with cash, credit, or an electronic transfer. Wala namang pakialam ang Knockout kung saan manggagaling ang pambayad niya.

"Nagtatrabaho ka?" tanging nasabi ko.

"Why are you surprised?"

"I mean..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"I don't ask my father for money if that's what you mean."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was genuinely curious. I wasn't even taking notes.

"Kahit tuition mo?"

"The campus director pays my tuition, Mirae. I get compensated for being the head of the student council."

Umiling ako, wala nang pakialam sa itinawag niya sa'kin. "Kailan pa? Wala namang bayad 'yon, ah!"

"Yes, but not until I finished college. Pinatakbo niya pa rin ako. He offered to pay my tuition, so I agreed."

"Ibig sabihin, hindi ka student council president dahil lang gusto mong mag-serve? Student council president ka dahil may gano'ng offer?"

I heard him breathe. "I like what I do, but I don't do it for nothing. I already served the students for free during my last year of college. I liked it, but my duties are done. Hindi naman maliit ang tuition sa law school kahit pa sabihing public school."

I squinted. "So... pinag-aaral ka ng mga estudyante?"

"No, don't get too far ahead," matigas ang pagtanggi niya. "I'm the campus director's scholar. It has nothing to do with students' funds."

"Bakit naman magbabayad pa ang campus director kung meron namang mga capable na undergraduate na puwedeng mag-lead ng org for academic incentives?" litanya ko.

"And why do the students keep electing me?"

"Because you keep running!"

He sighed as if he was about to lose his temper. "This year is my last term. Kahit offeran ako, hindi na ako papayag. That's why we're conducting a lot of leadership training. Time has changed. Students realize that school organizations are just another responsibility to carry."

Hindi pa ako nakakasagot ay muli siyang nagsalita.

"And why are you so pressed about it? Student leaders should be compensated for their efforts. That's what I'm gonna propose to the admins before I step down. Those students are putting their studies and free time on the back burner. What's wrong with getting paid for your hard work?"

Napakurap ako. He had a point. I just never considered it. Hindi naman kasi ako naging aktibo sa school organizations. I was working my ass off. Saan ko pa isisingit ang pagsali sa ganoon?

"I'm sorry," sabi niya matapos ang pananahimik ko. "Did I offend you?"

I shook my head. "No. Tama ka. Hindi ko lang naisip 'yon. Nagulat pati ako na may ibang nagbabayad ng tuition mo. I thought you were getting daddy's money."

He chuckled. "I can't believe you made me talk."

Ngumuso ako para pigilan ang pagngiti na hindi ko alam kung saan galing.

"Isa pa..." I said, the humor in my voice palpable.

He scoffed. "No."

"Okay," nakangiting pagsuko ko. "Ise-send ko na kay Coach 'tong call natin. I'll edit out the last part."

"Thanks."

Isinarado ko ang notebook at umupo sa kama ko. "So, how do you intend to pay?"

"I told you I have a part-time job."

"Hindi... I mean, paano ka magbabayad? Cash ba?"

Sandali siyang natahimik.

"Is that what you meant earlier?"

I laughed. "Oo."

"You tricked me?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi, ah. Shunga ka lang."

I felt myself still smiling. May it be because I made progress on his article, because of what we talked about, or because of the way he sounds... I'm not sure. I just knew it went well.

"You should rest."

Humiga ako sa kama. "Yeah. Thank you for your time."

"And don't go around sleeping anywhere you want."

My lips parted. "Huh?"

"In the garden, to be specific."

Confusion washed over me. "Jargon ba 'yan? Hindi kita gets."

He chuckled, his voice lower than earlier. Nakahiga na rin siguro.

Rinig ko ang banayad niyang paghinga na halos kasabay rin ng akin. I knew I should have given some attention to what he was saying, but I couldn't process his words.

I was just... amazed. By the flow of events. By the quick glimpse into his thoughts. By him.

"Good night, Mirae. Don't waste your load on me."

I was left staring at the ceiling with my phone still in my ears after that call. My mind was spinning as it absorbed all that had happened, and I just found myself wondering how natural our conversation had been.

"Oh my god, Mill. Get your shit," I whispered to myself as I snapped out of it.

To: Salty Juancho

Mill 'yon, bugok! 'Wag mo 'kong bigyan ng nickname dahil hindi tayo close!

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Artwork by: Aiamaeee