Third p.o.v

forsake our

--

Jungkook jogged through the quiet streets of 11 PM, smiling as he felt the cold drizzle kiss his cheeks as it rained down.

The excitement of finally being able to paint Park Jimin was making him shiver right down to his bones.

His breath came out in swirly puffs of fog as he panted to try and quickly get to his apartment.

But his jog soon slowed down to a walk as he recognized this secluded part of the area, the part where the forget me nots and cherry blossoms would have withered away by now.

And he was curious to see what it looked like in this pretty drizzling night and so he pushed open the creaking gates and walked in.

Although all the cherry blossoms had fallen to the ground and the trees were bare and the forget me nots were gone, he stuck a hand into his pocket to reveal the pressed forget me not Jimin had left for him.

He was amazed at how beautiful something so dead could look.

The thought was soon interrupted when Jungkook saw something white enter his vision.

He looked up at the sky to see snowflakes gently falling down.

It was snowing.

"Damn, I should have stayed behind a bit longer."

Jungkook wished he could have witnessed this first snow beside Jimin.

Jimin.

The thought of him gave him a funny trickle of fear and he dialled his number, hoping he would pick up right away.

After trying for the third time, he heard him pick up on the other line.

The song was still playing on repeat and he could hear it in the background.

"Ah Jimin! Look outside, it's snowing!"

He wanted Jimin to look outside and witness the beauty and how comforting it was to see a dark world powdered with white, with pureness.

- if we're not careful turns into reality -

But despite the sound of the melodious song playing in the background and the sound of the cold breeze whooshing through his ears,

Jeon Jungkook could clearly hear the heavy breathing of Park Jimin.

"Jimin? Jimin, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

The younger's voice took on a note of hysteria when the older wouldn't utter a word, until he heard his ragged voice whisper,

"t-tired. . ."

And that's when Jungkook knew as he stared at the forget me not he had accidentally crushed in his palm out of worry,

Jimin had taken the pills.

The older male was hunched over the table, breathing heavily and feeling his vision become blurrier by the minute.

He had done what the letter had told him to do, so why did he feel so tired? He felt as if he had ran a marathon and his head was throbbing and pounding. His chest ached and the bitter taste in his mouth was making him see stars.

Jimin tried to say something, anything, but his world was spinning and becoming darker by the second.

Every thing seemed to be happening in slow motion; the blinking of his eyes, the world spinning slowly and slowly, the pain and fatigue invading his nerves slowly, as if a murderer was taking his time slicing away his victim.

The murderer called time and the victim named Park Jimin.

"H-hot. . ." Jimin managed to croak out.

The pills that slowly released their contents at the pit of his sick stomach made him feel as if he had swallowed a pile of rocks.

His world was spinning slow and he pressed his sweaty cheek to the phone, trying desperately hard to stay awake and listen to that sweet melodious voice that panicked on the other end of the phone.

"S-sleep, want. . .sleep."

"No! B-baby, you can't fall asleep. . just listen to me, k-keep your eyes open and j--"

Jimin couldn't understand why the voice was sad and it made him sad as well. Jimin couldn't understand why the voice was crying and it made Jimin cry as well.

He wanted to hear the voice speak more as he himself was crying and resting his face against the cool glass of the coffee table, staring at the night sky outside which sent slow snowflakes down.

"Jimin, listen to me! I-I oh God. . ." the voice sniffled, sounding as if it were sick.

Because unlike the chaos unravelling inside the apartment and the fast thought that finally made Jungkook want to throw up again,

life was going on as usual in the outside world.

"P-please, go to the bathroom and throw up. I n-need you to do that right now, baby."

So when Jimin noticed the sudden change in the voice after, it brought a new feeling to his heart which was slowing and slowing.

"Jimin, c-close your eyes and sleep."

Jungkook realised what he was doing and he was sobbing at the words that were leaving his mouth.

Jimin had wanted this to happen to him and had told Jungkook to not stop him.

Had told Jungkook to let him go.

Had told Jungkook to not be selfish and instead let him do this to himself.

But when he heard the mumble of agreement come from Jimin's mouth and the heavy pants of his beautiful Jimin on the other end of the line and the mere thought that he might never ever be able to see and hold his beautiful sunshine ever again,

Jungkook let himself become selfish.

"Jimin! Wake up, baby! Please, baby, j-just stay with me, I'm coming back!"

Jungkook yelled and ran out the park, screaming at Jimin to just not fall asleep.

It didn't matter that Jimin of the past would have disapproved, but the Jimin of the present was all it mattered.

The older male felt his limbs melt away as his body temperature became hotter and his headache worsened.

He needed air.

Jimin grunted and pressed his hand to his forehead, groaning and stumbling into furniture as he tried to walk.

- it's hunting season and the lambs are on the run -

Jimin rested against the door to the balcony momentarily, trying to breathe, but it was getting difficult by the second for his gasping lungs.

"Baby, please. . .I'm begging you! Don't move, j-just stay where you are. I'm alm--"

But the sweet voice that cried to Jimin was making his head hurt and he felt his ears contract and pop as the pills travelled through his bloodstream.

"I've already called an ambulance. . .oh God, j-just don't sleep, Jimin! I need you s-so damn much, please stay awake, baby. ."

Jimin got up again and coughed up bile against the door, finally sliding open the balcony door with bony fingers. The rush of cold air invading and breathing through all the pores of his tired body and the white flakes melting against his colourless face.

His body temperature was burning and he needed fresh air.

He crawled along the concrete floor of the balcony, hands trying to prop themselves up as Jimin clutched on the railing, trying to ask the voice to keep speaking, to keep talking. But the voice's words were being muffled and all he heard was crying.

So Jimin cried as well.

And with his phone pressed to his wet and blazing hot cheek, the snow that slowly fell before his eyes and landed upon his hot cheeks felt like heaven amidst the pain.

He closed his eyes and tried to not cough so he could continue to hear the warm voice travel through his ears. The voice sounded so sweet, it sounded so calming against the pain and the drowsiness, it sounded as if Jimin was being held together by the whispers and sobs of the voice.

"Baby, don't give up, p-please. . ." Jimin felt his insides tangle together at the words, or perhaps, his internal systems were slowly shutting down.

Jungkook shouldn't have left him there. If only he had stayed behind with him, if only he had have kissed him a bit more, loved him a bit more - but there was no limit to love.  

"Baby, a-are you listening? I'm right here, just please don't fall asleep. I-I'll be there soon and we can get help a-and then. . .then everything will be alright, y-you'll be alright!"

Jungkook was almost there now, just two more minutes until he could reach the apartment building and scream and try to get help and take the stairs instead of the elevator so he would get to his Jimin's room faster.
But his floor was on the twentieth floor of the building and he was running out of time.

"I loved the way you'd smile up at me and giggle w-when. . . you would be feeling embarrassed."

"I loved the way you'd hug me in that hospital room when I-I. . . would be crying from my nightmares."

"I loved the way you'd make jokes and then laugh at them yourself even when I would have rolled my eyes and called them stupid. . ."

"I loved the way you w-would run your fingers through your hair. . .and smile in that smile that made the sunlight jealous of its warmth. . ."

"I loved the way you'd tease me until my face would be exploding with pink and my voice would be too embarrassed to speak, b-but. . .you'd hold me in your strong arms and love me. . ."

"I loved t-the way you brought colours into my life and painted me pink a-and I'm sorry that I made you blue. . .baby I'm sorry. ."

"J-Jiminie, you can forget the words behind these feelings, but you can't forget the feelings behind these words. . ."

"I love you. . ."

Jimin's eyes opened as soon as he heard the crying voice say the three words. They sounded foreign, but the feeling they brought with them wasn't. He felt so warm and comforted, and the way the voice spoke them, his slowing heart certainly felt at ease.

He opened his dry mouth to speak, but no voice came. He cried silent tears and desperately tried to speak, but he couldn't. He wanted to scream, yell and ask the voice to say those words again and what they meant, but only silence filled him.

Until he saw a butterfly.

It didn't matter to Jimin that this might have been a hallucination of the full bottle of pills he had downed all at once, it didn't matter to Jimin that the hallucinations were just that, hallucinations and delusions,

all it mattered was that he wanted to touch that butterfly.

"l-love?"

Jungkook's heart lit up when Jimin finally spoke and further let his hope flourish that he could get to Jimin in time. And if not him, at least the ambulance could.

"Yes, baby, love! I love you!" Jungkook desperately spoke the words as he almost tripped over the slippery branch on the ground.

The rain earlier had wet everything and made you more prone to slip easily, and the snow just intensified the danger.

- searching for meaning -

"L-love?" Jimin's hoarse voice spoke again. He opened his mouth to let a snowflake melt onto his tongue and he smiled faintly at the feeling. But the headache was growing and Jimin felt as if he was choking on the bitter liquid in his mouth that kept bubbling up.

He swallowed the vomit back down.

Jungkook realised that the older was asking him what 'love' meant, just like he'd been asking him for weeks and weeks. And so Jungkook told him, finally told him the answer he wasn't sure of a month and a half ago when he had met Jimin two years later.

But he was sure now.

"Baby, love isn't a feeling, e-even though others say it is. . ." He had to suck in a wavering breath and not let his sobs drown out his answer.

"Love is a moment; the most beautiful moment in life."

"The most, most beautiful moment in life I could re-live over and over again with you. . "

Jimin liked the way the voice explained everything, how it familiarly spoke in the way that set Jimin's slowing heart at ease. How it made him shudder against the cold railing that was digging into his abdomen, how it made him smile against the tears that rolled down his cheek. 

- but are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark? -

And Jimin felt, that in this current moment, that in this current vision of his that was becoming blurred by the second,

as Jimin leaned closer to get a better look at the butterfly in front of him,

despite the disgusting and bitter taste in his mouth, despite the slow and constant movement of the spinning world around him, despite the hot body temperature of his that the cold weather's snow could not better, despite the voice begging and sobbing and pleading and desperately saying,

"I-I love you so much, baby. . ."

Jimin truly felt that this current moment was love; the most beautiful moment in life.

And so at one moment, he could hear the voice sobbing, loud and clear, and then the next, it suddenly disappeared as he felt his fingertips lose their strength and drop the phone,

as Jimin was leaning closer from the wet railing, reaching out to grasp the butterfly in his hands,

and then the next moment,

he was flying.

--

dying love.