C H A P T E R   N I N E T E E N
Apologize

Jo felt horrible for telling Laurie about what happened but the truth was bound to come out eventually.

     When Laurie didn't visit their home in the next week, she thought the worst had happened to him. Then deciding that she needed to go over to Laurie's house and sort things out with him.

     "Teddy!" Jo yelled, knocking repeatedly on the front door of the Laurence's until her knuckles were pink. A maid opened the door shyly, she radiated nervous energy.

     "I'm here for Laurie," Jo stated, the maid nodded then stepped aside to make space for Laurie who had started walking down the stairs.

     "I'm here, Jo." He mumbled weakly, there was a pain that remained in his voice throughout every word he spoke. He didn't want to see, talk or touch her.

     "We need to sort things out, Teddy. You need to sort things out. I already sent a letter to Delia about this inconvenience." Jo informed Laurie in a steady tone, trying to not alarm him.

     "Jo, how could you do that behind my back? I—I..." he was lost for words. Laurie didn't know how to respond, either way, he didn't take this news lightly.

     "You need to go over there and apologize to the poor girl, Laurie," Jo said as though it was an order.

     "Apologize..." Laurie mumbled, holding back a scoff. He couldn't believe what was happening, he just wanted to disappear, start over.

     "Apologizing wouldn't help anything, Lia wouldn't forgive me either way," Laurie muttered, feeling hopeless.

     "Apologizing may not make her forgive you but at least let her know you're sincerely sorry because right now, she thinks horribly of you, her image of you is tarnished, stained with ink." Laurie bit down on his lip causing it to bleed blood red.

     "It's for the best, Laurie. Don't fall into a downward spiral because of me, I don't want to see you like this." Jo pleaded while Laurie just stared at the floor.

     "I will, Jo," Laurie spoke, he seemed to inflict an emotion that wasn't sadness at that time. He was determined, in his mind, he would repeat Jo's monologue over and over.

     This was how Delia felt, wasn't it? The feeling of sadness and anxiety. Feeling like an awful thing to be around, feeling as though it was better to be locked away until things were sorted out. Laurie's palms were in fists, sweat building in the palm of his hands, he didn't realize how tense he was until Jo had pointed it out.

     "I best be going now, Jo. Thank you, for being the sister I never had." There was that friendly look on Laurie's face again. Jo felt herself break out into a warm grin, wrapping her arms around Laurie and him around her, hugging each other tightly.

     "Good luck, my boy." Jo ruffled Laurie's hair before leaning back and taking a good look at him.

     "I'll see you on the other side," Laurie said, running back into his house.

     "You too," Jo muttered while walking away and back to her home. She could only assume what he was doing, packing his bags and asking for a carriage.

     The address of arrival, Delia's home.

*   *   *   *   *

Yves was misbehaving that day. The little boy kept bothering and attempting to hurt his friends and guardians. Arry found it annoying and felt the need to give him a stern talk away from the crowd.

     He brought Yves with him many meters away from where the others were, crouching down to the boy's level. Then finally starting to talk.

     That was as much as Delia saw before turning her head away from the two and focussing back on what was in front of her.

     "What is Arry talking to Yves about, Miss Delia?" Charles questioned in his innocent child's voice. The boy looked up at the girl with glossy blue eyes, seeming concerned for his troubled friend.

     "Arry's just giving Yves a stern talk, Charles. Nothing to worry about, they'll be done soon." Delia reassured him, patting Charles' head and telling him to go off and play.

     "Okay... Miss Delia." He murmured underneath his breath and join his group of friends.

     In the past days, Delia's anxiety was back to bite her. She always felt paranoid and panicked, as if expecting the worst. Her palms were always damp or covered in sweat. She would find her heart beating abnormally fast at times, her ears would ring, zoning out from the world.

     She was tempted to go back to hiding during these emotions but no, she was determined to beat this growing feeling inside of her. It was as though Delia had a growing hole inside of her, it drained her, tired her, it was living off of her energy and eventually, all her energy would be gone and she'd be a zombie, looming around.

     A video of a carriage pulling up came across her mind. It seemed so realistic yet so surreal. The carriage pulled up with a halt, as though the person were eager to get out.

     Delia blinked once, rubbing her eyes before realizing what was happening in reality. The person inside nervously pulled at the handle of the carriage door before the coachman jumped off his seat and opened the door for them, scared that they would break the handle off of its hinges.

     Good lord, Delia thought, feeling adrenaline surge through her whole body. Heart pounding and mind racing, she stood up abruptly.

     "No... it can't be." Delia muttered, staring blankly at the sight, her eyebrows etched together.

     Laurie was here.

     "Delia?" Arry shouted, walking back to his friend while holding Yves's wrist.

     "No... no, no, no, this can't be happening." She muttered again, her voice becoming louder and growing more and more afraid.

     "What is it?" Arry asked, letting go of Yves' wrist and guiding him off to his friends.

     "What is..." Arry stopped, staring at what Delia was looking at.

     Laurie stood there, looking around desperately for a familiar face.

     "It's Laurie," Delia turned to Arry, grabbing his hand and digging her nails into his flesh. He winced, pulling away from her immediately.

     "I thought you said Laurie was—"

     "Lia?" Laurie stood there in all his glory. He seemed a bit frazzled, not daring to walk towards her.

     "You're Laurie...?" Arry bellowed, growling as he stared at the man. Laurie ruffling his hair while thinking, I knew this was a mistake.

    "No... why did you come here?" Delia's voice shot in panic, running in alarm to the front door of her house.

     "No, Lia. Please let me explain." Laurie took a few steps forward, walking closer to her with his hands out in front of him. He had a painful look on his face when Delia turned to get a good look at him.

     "No, Laurie. Not now, not today, not ever!" She shouted, turning the doorknob and shutting herself in her house. Delia sank to the floor, feeling her hands reach up to shield her face.

     Delia's mother looked concerned at her daughter sitting on the cold floor, trembling uncontrollably. She assumed she needed space and walked upstairs to accompany the twins in their room.

    "Delia! Please, I beg you, just listen. Listen to me..." Laurie pleaded as though he were in agony. His voice cracking multiple times during his plea, he knocked on the door repeatedly, praying Delia would let him in and explain.

     "That's enough, Laurie." Arry walked up to Laurie, giving him a threatening glare. Laurie shook his head, hands shaking he used them to push Arry away from him.

     There was a dark expression that crossed his face. He turned to the boys and decided to give Laurie one last look before moving the boys away from the drama.

     He never thought Delia was a liar.

     "Delia, please, come out... I beg of you if you still have any affection left in your heart for me, please..." Laurie fell to the floor, feeling hopeless as well as heartbroken. His chest was aching with pain which made him hold his hand to it to hopefully ease the pain.

     On the other side of the door, Delia found her hand reaching up, holding onto the doorknob for support, she was so tempted to turn the lock and open the door. But that temptation subdued, her hand fell to her side. Tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes were puffy and stinging.

     "You don't understand, I wished that my feelings towards Jo and subsided but they never did. I wanted to slap myself, I immediately regretted telling her." Laurie started, explaining in a voice that pulled at Delia's heartstrings.

     "I was distraught afterwards, I didn't even bother visiting her afterwards. Then Jo came to my house, telling me I had to apologize to you, she told me she doesn't want my life to go down the rails because of her. But I kept going on because I knew, maybe just maybe, I'd see you again. And maybe, one day, you'll forgive me." Laurie was on the brink of insanity telling Delia everything. She listened unwillingly.

     "After all of this, you think I'd forgive you?"

     "I love you, Delia." She heard him mumble, whimpering and causing a rumble of noises before the other side of the door went silent again.

     Delia tried looking out of a window but couldn't get a glance at what had happened. She had to open the door. And that she did, shaky hands didn't help with the anticipation. Delia grabbed onto the doorknob, turning it aggressively and flinging the door open. To her right, she saw Laurie sitting on the ground, his eyes were red and puffy from silently crying. When he looked back up, he saw her, his lover.

     "Delia," He spoke while grabbing onto her legs, hoping it would hold her from walking away. Delia stood there, looking down at Laurie with a blank expression.

     "How dare you show up here, Laurie? What gives you the nerve to talk to me, to look at me, to touch me." Laurie broke out into another round of tears, his hold on Delia loosening as he let go weakly of her, leaning up against the wall of Delia's house.

     "I love you, Delia. I want to touch you, I want to hold you, I want you to love me the way I do you."

     "What about Jo, Laurie?" Delia yelled aloud the question, chipping another part of Laurie's heart away.

     "She doesn't love me, Lia. I just had to let her know..." Delia sighed, staring down at the desperate man.

     "How could someone love a filthy man like you? How did I fall for someone as backstabbing, rude, dirty and... disgusting as you?" She questioned, holding back tears.

     "Delia, emotions will fade, I thought they'd fade for me. I've known Jo for many years of my life, I loved her but my heart belongs to another." He explained, feeling as guilty as a man could be doing so.

     "Don't say your heart belongs to me, Laurie. How could you do this to me?" Tears started welling up in Delia's eyes and before she knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks, all the way down to her jaw were they dripped off and down to the floor.

     "Delia, don't—don't cry." Laurie frowned, standing up and wrapping Delia in a warm embrace.

     Just then Laurie could feel a cold droplet of something. Rain, he thought. Slowly the small drops of rain became a massive storm. The fresh damp smell of the air calmed Delia's nerves.

     She reached her arms up to wrap around Laurie as well who let out a grin of relief that lasted for a split second. He guided Delia out into the rain, exposing the two of them to the cool weather.

     "Forgive me, will you, Lia?" Laurie questioned, there was a moment of silence where Delia debated what she should answer with.

     Her mind said no, her heart said yes, and in the end, her gut agreed with her mind yet she wanted to disobey the overwhelming influence of her mind and gut. She loved him so much that she couldn't find it in herself to stay mad at him forever. In another world where Laurie and she ended everything, she still would want to stay in contact with him.

     "I shouldn't... you must know by I love you, Theo. I fell in love with a mad man." Delia's words were muffled as her mouth was pressing up against Laurie's shoulder, then ruffling Laurie's already messy hair and pulling him in closer.

     Her voice was shaky, not sure if it were the right thing to say but it was the truth. How could she still love someone after they had broken her heart?

     "I love you too, Lia." Laurie hesitated before finally letting the words fall out of his mouth.

     Was this the happy ending he was wishing for after all this time? Or was this only the beginning of a beautiful yet tragic love story? Just one more chance... Delia had written the words over and over in her mind.

     Just one more try.