EPILOGUE

go down the rabbit hole.

to enter into a situation or begin a process or journey that is particularly strange, problematic, difficult, complex, or chaotic, especially one that becomes increasingly so as it develops or unfolds.

but one that ends with a discovery of oneself and a solution to the problem plaguing one all along.

Her father commits suicide on a Sunday.

There's a funeral, and Eishi holds her as she sits there and tries to... To feel something. But there's nothing to feel.

She tidies up his affairs. Takes over his position on the board alongside Shimizu, who'll be an official placeholder for the position as Mahiru finishes her degree.

"Will you go with me?" she asks Eishi in the Central kitchen one day, draped over his shoulder as they watch the pot simmer.

"What?" he asks back, distractedly.

She sighs and pulls out her phone to pull out an email confirmation from a therapist.

"I will," he says. "It'll be good for you, Mahiru."

"Yeah," she smiles.

And the peace lasts for all of two seconds before he starts squawking about feeling like he's forgotten to add the salt.

x

She talks to the people under her employ. Revelations, revelations— They all tell the truth, despite her misgivings about Sakaki. And there is some form, some tendril of regret in her heart, and a question of what could've happened.

Because despite everything, despite his lies — Sakaki has been there since childhood. Maybe he hasn't always been the loyal sidekick Mahiru always thought he was. Sakaki Imai remained one constant in her life, Sakaki was always there when she needed him.

A majority of them choose to leave, to return to the overall Tetsuya umbrella — and Mahiru understands. Because it's clear now that she has chosen a different path, a path that differs from what she has set herself as: the mogul, the heir, the untouchable girl, Shiro's daughter, the genius, the marble statue. 

Mahiru understands, because she understands them. She understands needing more than what is given to you, wanting more. That genius, that intellect— Mahiru can't and won't be providing them with the necessary resources any longer.

But there are those who stay— And those who return. 

"Senpai," she says, a familiar address on her tongue. Mahiru's more... Chasten this time. Calmer.

And so is she.

"Mahiru," Shima greets, and in the distance, she sees Yeung and Kanno. Mahiru nods at them — no one on campus outside of those intimately involved knows about what Mahiru did and what she plans to do.

But plenty knows who she is, and what she has done.

"You're not who I thought you were," Shima says finally. 

Mahiru lets loose a breath. "Different people have different perspectives about me. I offer different perspectives to those in order to gain what I want. Yeung and Kanno saw through what I did..." She lets her words trail off.

And you, did not.

"Yes," Shima says. "I realize that now." She looks at Mahiru and gives her something... Something like acceptance. "I see that now. I understand it now. And... Regardless of what you have done, who you are... I can respect that you were able to come to terms with yourself." Shima bows. "This... Community we have created— I will fight harder for it this time, Tetsuya."

Feeling wistful, if a little guilty, Mahiru takes a breath — fresh, light and cool after a lifetime of stifled ones — and bows back. "Good luck, senpai," she murmurs. "Good luck."

x

The ninety-first generation graduates with Rindou at the helm who does the speech, much to Eishi's gratification and horror that oh god, I could be the one doing that speech.

Mahiru and Rindou laugh at him. Mahiru tells them about this cool new American trend that involves graduate students walking forward to the backdrop of a bright sun. Rindou is immediately on board because Eishi hates pictures of him being taken— And being able to subject him to torture is always fun.

Mahiru watches them and takes the picture.

The birds whistle alongside the gentle harmonics of the leaves, the gentle spring advancing in a wave of spring flowers and fluorescent breezes. There's a lightness to her heart and something bright in her heart.

"Hurry up!" Rindou shouts, voice bright against Eishi groaning.

"Coming," she says, dry affection clear in her own tone.

It's worth it, she thinks as she follows after them, the rabbit hole it took to get here. All of the pain, the tears and the suffering. Yes—

This, is her wonderland.

x

wow i feel really drunk
toon in for more deep a/n tmrrw

pls don't kill me