I could hardly hear Eric from the amplified bass blasting through the speakers hanged above us. He opened his mouth wider and wider every time I squinted my eyes and gestured to him that I didn't understand a word he said. It was pretty adorable actually, seeing him all worried and pissed.

Although frankly, I admitted I wasn't on my best behavior after a drink or two. Nobody was.

Jazz filled the air - every strum of the guitar and every key pressed on a piano - it was the perfect music to listen to on a cruise, like a provocative siren harmonizing to the melodies of the sea; everything was satisfyingly content.

The band heeded to the crowd's requests. Their engagement with the audience was amazing, and it surely elevated the spirits of many. When loved songs played, couples would slow dance in the middle and make everybody jealous by how closely they were to each other, like doing foreplay for everybody to see. Others simply stood by in the corner chattering, and some were making gossips about the couples who couldn't find a room to continue their lovemaking.

While the flirty adults expressed their sexual desires with the other debauched young men and women on the dance floor, I claimed my place on the barstool with my chaperone sitting beside me.

"Avery, you might wanna slow down a bit," Eric insisted, taking the shot glass from my hands and put it near him. I could tell he was extending his patience with me. Nevertheless, my tongue was disappointed.

"Hey, I was on a roll." I sighed and raised my brows out of annoyance.

"I haven't seen you drink before."

"Well, if you love me sober, you'd love me more drunk enough to see you naked even with all your clothes on," I spoke tactlessly and seductively with a giggle at the end, the kind men like Eric couldn't be able to resist. Using my words alone, Eric was immediately taken by my supposed talent. His facial features loosened.

"Give me that." I took the glass and poured it in my mouth like a multivitamin. He had got himself in a trance; too distracted to decipher my motive for saying such a thing.

Then the next. And the next glass after. So on.

The flaming burn ran down in my throat to my stomach and further down which made me tingly. The bitter taste of alcohol did not leave my tongue.

"Ahhh." I sigh. "That was hot but good." I pushed all the empty shot glasses towards the bartender with both of my hands and tapped the table twice. I wanted more. He nodded respectfully.

"Hey, you have some with you?" I faced Eric. "I left my purse with Audrey," I spoke to him like a regular drunk. My head started to feel a little dizzy, but I continued to give the impression that I could take more than another one.

"I'm not giving you any money. You've had enough." Eric was so serious this time. But I was too. And I proved it to him with much conviction of my bad choices. "Not until I say so."

Since the first time I drank, I liked to act as I had it under control until something unusual happened, letting the accountability pass by. It was more than an escape, it was a reason for me to do what I wanted to without having to deliberately face consequences. Today was no exemption.

With Nathan, I knew I was cared for. I knew he wouldn't leave me no matter what I told him, or no matter what I did. Until two nights ago. Nathan Trevmore was everything I ever longed for a lover. But right at this moment, with Eric doing exactly what Nathan used to do for me, I realized it wasn't the act, but the person.

It was the person who made everything you loved in love so lovable. It was the person that first came into your mind the second you heard the words "love" and "future" and "soulmate." The person that you dreamt of marrying and making love with even when you're awake - that person in anyone's life was Nathan on my own.

"How is my goody, goody little sister doing?" Audrey put her hand around my shoulder, barely standing straight. "Look at you!" I said and laughed hard. Strangers looked at me, clearly bothered. "You're a mess, Audrey."

"Relax, sis. I'm used to this. I know what I'm doing," she replied, spotting the crowd for men that suited her taste. Then her eyes came back to me. "You, on the other hand," she narrowed my lips and shook my face with her fingers, "you need all the help you need." She widened her eyes while he looked at Eric.

"I got her," he mouthed.

"You better," Audrey showed an intimidating gesture towards Eric. "Well, I gotta go mingle."

"Where are you going? Don't leave yet. I wanna spend time with you," I begged, pulling her arm.

"Hey, the night is young. Talk to you later, okay, Avery?" She winked and turned around, flaunting her luscious hair as she flipped it.

I took another shot. "Can you believe her? Audrey's so carefree and happy and it seems like she's got no problems whatsoever."

"No one could believe it, alright. You two are so different," he said.

Suddenly, there was a funny, disturbing feeling inside my stomach. The burning sensation turned ten times more than the usual. I was on the verge of hurling. I was gonna throw up right at that moment.

"Avery? Avery, what's wrong?" Eric offered his concern.

"Eric, I—" I stood up with both one hand crunching my stomach and one hand covering my mouth. My throat was holding in. I didn't want to open my mouth at all.

"Y—you need help? You, oh my God."

Whimpering and groaning at the same time, I pointed my stomach. A muffled sound came out of my mouth. The liquid began to crawl up, accumulating around my uvula, waiting to be let out.

"Oh, okay. You're gonna throw up." Eric's hands shook uncontrollably. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He took the empty bucket that was once full of a pack of ice and cold beer from the man sitting in his right. Now the beers were taken out and the ice had melted.

Blech! I gagged. My entire head was inside the bucket. The only thing I smelled was my own vomit, passing easily through my nostrils. Surprisingly it smelled like last night's omelet covered with all the tequila in the world.

Eric held my hair and patted my back as he said, "Okay, get it all out. You've had your fun and you wouldn't listen."

"Comfort now. Sermon later." I said loudly while my head was faced down inside the bucket, gasping for air. My voice echoed from inside, as well as the horrendous smell coming from my alcohol-laden vomit.

"Don't worry. I'll pay for this." I could hear him talking to the bartender, quite embarrassed as reflected from his tone and awkward chuckle.

After a while of continuous, tiresome hurling, I moaned in disgust with myself. I'm never drinking again. Some of the goo stuck around the edges of my lips, and my hair was caught with little drippings. I couldn't get the smell off of me. "Where's our room? I— I need to take a shower. I can't even look at myself right now." I told Eric.

"Come, follow me," was his reply. I stood up and walked slowly with my head down, not looking towards any of the people who witnessed the embarrassment I had put myself into. I kept on looking down with my unreliable, wobbly legs, bumping at random strangers once or twice.

Having one arm around his neck as we walked through the crowd, Eric noticed I was uncomfortable. Despite looking down, the cold stares from strangers made me want to throw up some more. It was a good thing he was there to keep me company. "Don't worry. Just keep your head down, Avery. I'll guide you," he said.

As soon as we reached our room, I went to the bathroom immediately. Everything was blurry. I couldn't tell which level of the floor I was stepping on. Constantly fighting the urge to lie in bed and to sleep it out was very difficult. But at that time, there was nothing more I wanted to do at that point but to wash away the stink off my body.

"Eric, could you please request for body lotion downstairs? I forgot to bring mine." I shouted from inside the bathroom. "Alright, I'll be back later," he replied.

Feeling dizzier by the minute, I undressed and stepped into the bathtub. Having tripped not one but many times, I held onto the glass door or anything I could touch to prevent me from falling.

Screw this. Worst mistake ever. Even trying to stand still didn't work anymore. My hands felt the wall eagerly to find the button to operate the shower. When I finally found it, I immersed myself with some ice-cold running water.

Having deliberately mortified me tonight, I allowed the thoughts in my head to drown me along with the water. Thinking about the past few days, I knew I had suffered. I've mourned for the death of Nathan's love for me. But sooner I realized what he was doing right now, and as wild as my imagination went, it made me really angry.

Was Nathan half as worried as I was? Was he bawling his eyes out right now? Was he even sad that he left me without a good reason? Only he could answer my questions, but he didn't even care for me enough to tell me to my face. What a coward.

After a while, I decided to clean myself up. The lilac scent of the bar soap spread across my body. Its fragrance gradually replaced the smell of vomit away from my body. My head was still in pain but the shower definitely helped, and throwing up released most of the alcohol.

Instantly, the door opened and Eric called my name. "Avery, your body lotion's here," he said.

I rinsed the soap and the only thing that was left was the scent of sweet lavender and coconut oil on my skin. "That's great. You can put it on the bed, Eric. Thank you!"

"No problem. Just tell me when you're done so I could head outside and give you time to change," he added.

One thing came to mind when he said that: I realized Eric was the epitome of what love should be. Looking after me when drunk, not taking advantage of me in any way, and giving me privacy when it was necessary — all these things were completely different from what Nathan had done.

But despite his obvious, ridiculous mistakes, I loved him. I loved that bastard. If I loved him regardless of the wrong reasons, would I be able to love Eric the same way?

Dictated by my impulsiveness, I decided to give Eric a chance. I thought of showing him the same love I gave Nathan. After all, we were married. As I wrapped myself with a towel, I opened the door and called his name. "Eric?"

He was looking through an open window when he turned around to see me with nothing on but a damp towel. "Oh...you're, uh — let me—I...I'll go outside."

"No," I said right away. "Stay."

"Stay?"

"Yeah, stay. It's not like you're gonna watch me change, are you?" I asked him teasingly, gripping my hair so water would come out. "No—no, of course not." Reluctance reflected in his voice.

"Good." I took out my sheer, black panties from the bag. My peripheral vision suggested Eric's struggle to retain as the noble man that he was. Smiling, I sat down on the bed facing him and began wearing my bottoms as dramatically as I could. Seduction was key, and as Nathan usually pointed out, it was one of my strong suits.

"Are—are you sure you...you don't want me to leave?" Eric cleared his throat, not making eye contact. I giggled softly and replied to him, "Eric, we both know you're not going anywhere." 

"Here is exactly where you want to be." I wore my red nightgown with my towel still on. I didn't want to shock him with my impure intentions. Gradually reeling him in thru sharp stares and feeding his eyes with more than he could quench was the goal.

When the nightgown was on, I removed the towel from inside out. Pouring some body lotion all over my body, I spread it slowly and moaned by its the scent it ejected. "Oh boy this smells good," I said. "Don't you think so, Eric?" 

"Yeah, sure," was his only reply. He still was holding onto his moral code. And I took that as a challenge. I believed in myself — there was no man who could escape me.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or maybe it was just the state of sexual hunger, regardless, I needed it right now. The ambiance. The longing. The fact that two consenting adults who were married were alone in a room. There was no reason for nothing to happen. The odds favored us with the chance of being poured down with powerful and passionate thunderbolts of sex.

I went closer to him and whispered to his ear, "Do you find me beautiful?"

"Be—beautiful? You? Funny you even bother to ask."

"So, is it a yes or no?" I came even closer and looked into his eyes. He was shaking, and even swallowing his saliva as many times as he could. Seeing him nervous turned me on more. How he could resist me when I'm so close to him?  I feasted on the sight of his trembling lips.

I touched his shoulders and arched my body towards him, kissing his neck. He was enjoying the first few kisses and little playful gestures of my tongue. I was about to push him over to the bed but then he ruined the moment just the right time. "Avery...what are you doing?"

I continued kissing him and moaning close to his ear, with my hands swarming all over his body. "What do you think I'm doing, Eric?" I purred. "Don't you want this? Don't you love me?"

I had never thought of having sex with Eric. I'd never thought of that while we were nothing more than best of friends, certainly now that our relationship had leaped to another level.
But with the way he acted tonight, the way he resembled the actions Nathan used to do for me —  the more I remember Nathan in him. Sometimes I even mixed them both.

I just had to cling onto the memory of him, even when it was from someone else.

Our eyes gazed at one another until he began searching for other places to look at. I put his hands on my body, giving him permission to touch wherever he pleased. I could still feel him controlling himself, more persistently now that I also felt something bulging from underneath his pants. I felt him harden.

"Wait..." he kissed me back. "I don't want to forget this night."

"Then don't. So make it count."

With my arms around his neck, I sat down on him and moved slowly against his sex. I kissed him long and hard; I wanted to win over him. Putting his hands on my breasts, I saw his eyes widened by surprise. I continued what I was doing until...

Until he wasn't able to resist anymore.

Eric pushed me towards the bed and spread my legs. Closing my eyes in anticipation, I held so tight to a pillow as he licked my legs from my knees towards my groin. "Don't stop."

He spitted into my vagina and began massaging the layers with his saliva. I moaned loudly, gripping the pillow even tightly. Then he made use of his tongue—giving my clitoris what it deserves. Eric inserted two fingers and rotated it in the way I liked; surprising he knew how. While he continued to play with my labia, his fingers were getting busy as well. The sensational was astronomical. I could barely feel anything on my legs as if my brain was wired to only focus on what was happening below.

The orgasm was too intense, I could hardly breathe or decipher how loud my scream was. I was consumed by Eric's mouth and hand — they were intrinsic tools of his I took lightly. It was at this time I could measure the amount of love he had for me, and I would say it was phenomenal. "Ah, God, help me."

"Don't stop. I beg you, don't stop." I screamed. The momentum was rising to the point of no end.

"Oh, Nate!"

"Woah, woah." Eric stopped immediately.

My lips still on his, I gazed at him eager to kiss more of him. But apparently we weren't in the same page. "Why did you stop?"

"You said Nate. You called his name."

"No—No, I didn't." I denied right away, pulling him closer towards my chest. "This isn't right," he answered. Then, without another word, he got off the bed.

"Where are you going? I— I thought you like this. You and me. Together." I tried to salvage the night.

"Not like this," he said strongly. "I want you to love me, Avery. I want you to love me and not somebody else. But if loving me means you get to close your eyes and pretend you're kissing another man, then forget it." Eric hastily retreated from the room.

"Eric — Eric, wait! I— I'm sorry!" I begged him to stay, while he responded to my apology by closing the door shut.