It shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that the very people who kept something behind my back were the same people keeping me company at this time. I saw it not only in their guilt-ridden eyes but also in their continuous effort to seeing me smile; they were the only ones I could depend on. 

The pain was still fresh, and I could tell it wasn't planning on leaving me soon. And I was still angry, and sad, and afraid of not being able to patch up this hollow tumor-like feeling in my heart.

When Nathan shut the door on his way out, I felt my life slowly slipping away along with him. The dreams, the promises, the memories of years of love were taken away as well. But now as I see these two people with me, I refused to let the fear of moving on control me for the rest of my life.

While eating the omelet that Eric made for me, he and Audrey were in the living room talking about where they're planning to take me. Obviously, though they were doing it for me, I absolutely had no say in it. Their voices were loud and clear enough to hear from the dining room. I wouldn't miss a thing.

After a while, I would say they had reached some sort of impasse.

Audrey gasped. "How about a trip to the Bahamas?"

"Don't push it," Eric said.

Finishing my last spoonful, I stood up and put the plate on the sink. I was getting more curious already now that Audrey had been rejected for the sixth time in a row now. Surprisingly I finished the whole thing. Who knew Eric could cook.

"Come on, you've been anything but supportive of my suggestions for the last twenty minutes," Audrey complained. "Do you want Avery to have a great time or not?"

"Of course I do. She's been through a lot. But I don't want you making all the decisions for her," he added.

"I'm her sister. We have the same taste."

"Highly doubt it," Eric shut her down.

I walked towards them in the middle of their slight bickering. "Avery, please tell your husband it would be fine with you if I get to choose where we're going." Audrey held my arms and begged like a little girl.

"Actually," I groaned. "As I've said for the millionth time, I don't wanna go anywhere."

"We've been through this. Gimme a chance here. The bar's not doing so well, I need a break from this shithole," Audrey gritted his teeth while saying this.

"Okay, okay fine. Audrey can choose," I said to Eric. She shouted in enthusiasm.

"Are you sure?" Eric said loudly, trying to keep his voice over Audrey's pitchy cheers.

"Yeah..." I nodded. Audrey continued her show. "But I might change my mind when somebody doesn't keep quiet." Audrey shut her mouth in a second. That was the signal of peace.

"I'm thinking about us leaving for a couple of days. You know, just the three of us taking a break from all this," Audrey suggested. Knowing her this would be costly and most fitting to her favors.

"And that is?" I said in a bored tone.

"A cruise."

"Hmm, that's actually not so bad," I said.

"See?" Audrey rubbed her point in Eric's face. "Sisters have the same minds." She spoke as she won over a fight.

"But do we have to leave now?" I looked at my sister.

She glared at me with a shocking and disappointing look. Her eyes widened with surprise and her glossy mouth formed a round shape. "Yes, Avery, yes. The time is now. You only live once." She spoke every word with emphasis. "Damn, how many motivational quotes do I have to mention for you to get your ass on a cruise?!"

Passively annoyed, I rolled my eyes and at the same time let out a laugh. I met a different kind of Audrey today. Though I was pretty sure she was in this for the romance on cruises, I was convinced she treated me like her real sister.

"Okay, geez. Sorry. I'm in."

"Awesome! I'm driving," she shouted, facing at Eric with a triumphant head held high, her eyebrows moving up and down swiftly.

I walked up the stairs, now a little more energetic. At that moment, I wasn't thinking about last night, or the sound of the door when it closed, or even Nathan himself. All I was thinking as I took every step on the flight of the stairs was the peaceful sound of the waves crashing against the boat. This time is for me. I owe this.

As I took another step, the ceiling began to hover closer to me. A certain force was coercing me to fall to the ground as my limbs started to feel weak. Sweat trickled around my neck and pits and all over the temples of my head. I felt cold flushes in my cheeks but the rest of my body was warm. Help. My hands slowly let go from the handrail. Audrey's sonorous scream was the last thing I heard.

Thud.

Groaning, I awoke with the sound of the honking from the cars behind us. Someone's hands were all over me, secured in a tight embrace. The next thing I saw was the tinted car window. My eyes fought long and hard against the tiredness.

"How are you feeling? We're almost to the hospital."

Barely opening them, I yawned and nodded without knowing whom I was talking to. The car kept moving, and then seconds had passed I noticed I was no longer at my apartment. "Avery?"

"Is she awake?" Audrey asked from the driver's seat.

I moved my body to sit down comfortably. Eric was sitting beside me with a concerned look on his face. "Avery? Hello?" he called my name again, this time he waved his hand over my face.

"Nate..." I gasped, touching his face tenderly. "You're here."

He took my hand and looked me in the eye. "Avery... this is Eric, your husband."

"Oh, Eric...it's fine. I'm fine. Sorry."

"What happened to you back there? You fell from the stairs!" Audrey said. "You missed a lot of steps."

"Did I?" My voice was hoarse.

"You lack sleep and you barely ate anything. We're going to the hospital to get you checked," Eric said. "Speed up." He told Audrey.

"I finished your omelet," I replied in defense. "Don't be silly. I'm perfectly fine. No one's going to the hospital." I lied. I wasn't feeling well at all. My hands were still cold, and I was light-headed the whole ride.

"Audrey, we're going cruising," I said confidently.

"Are you sure you're okay? If you feel anything—"

"I'm okay, Eric. You don't need to worry about me."

"Yes!" Audrey shrieked excitingly. "You guys have no idea how excited I am."

Eric sighed loudly while leaning his elbow at the rim of the car window and rested his head to his hand. He was more worried about me than I was.

It was a long trip, took about eight hours before we arrived at the pier. There were a series of yachts lining up.

The strong wind made it even more special. The ocean breeze was so cold, but the lights on the whole boat eject a sufficient amount of heat to let people still have a good time.

It was not hard to see why people had fantasies of falling in love with cruises. Even from someone who wasn't much of a big fun until I tried to be on one myself, I was impressed. The entire scenery was a cradle of infinite opportunities designed to find your soulmate at the desired moment. Every step you took was the momentum towards being swept off your feet.

When we climbed up the stairs, there was a crowd full of people in long dresses and suits, each bringing a wine glass of his own. They were mingling and laughing in the open air, like they had lived here all their life.

Audrey was having the time of her life over the bar, talking to one gentleman, and then another. Sitting on the barstool, she befriended the barista right away like they were good friends in the past who happened to bump to each other by fate. I stood there a few feet away plainly observing the way she flirted with almost every bachelor there.

When she noticed me judging her discreetly, she drank her tequila in one gulp and walked up to me like a boss. "Avery, honey," she fixed my dress articulately, "loosen up. You're on a yacht."

She continued to give me a sermon about taking a break and not be tensed like either was any of my goals. But I still listened to her because she was quite feeling the moment of being my big, spontaneous sister.

"I'd say take a few shots and have a couple of guys dance around you but then I remember you're married and I'm such a terrible —" Suddenly her eyes shifted away to another direction. Her eyes were looking straight to something dazzling, as the sparkles were floating around her moist eyes. I couldn't tell what or who exactly was she staring at. "Influence," she added.

"Shit. That's Dr. Martin Rons. I gotta go get myself a doctor," Audrey demanded.

"Oh Martin," she gazed seductively to the gentlemen in a suit. "Of course, I'll dance with you."

"Uh, Audrey, I think you're having way too much fun." I pulled her away from Martin.

"That's the point, little sis."

I realized spending time with Audrey on a yacht was more than impossible. She couldn't even spend at least five minutes talking to me without being distracted. It was like her sexual playground — Audrey sliding down an imaginary slide while boys queue in line to catch her.

Walking up the stairs, Eric stood on the edge looking over to the ocean. There was a serious look on his face like he was preaching to the sky about something he wouldn't say.

"Something bothering you?" I interrupted his solitude, taking another step.

Surprised, he faced my direction. "Just a few things..." He said with a smile.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Nah, it's not a big deal. Besides, you already have much on your plate. I'm not gonna burden you with mine," he replied.

From where he and I were standing, there was a gap enough to fit three chubby kids in the middle. And aside from the visible distance, there was a long, long pause. No initiation. No friendly gestures. Nothing.

I cleared my throat. "Do you ever wonder what lies beyond the horizon?" I asked.

"I don't think there is a horizon. I don't believe in it."

"Why not?"

"I think people just say them because they fantasize about something they want to have."

"Expectations hurt. Expecting means opening yourself about what you want to happen about a situation you have no control over," he added.

"So like love?" I said.

"Kind of. Except in love, when something doesn't go your way, sometimes you get lucky." He still did not look my way.

"Are you tired?"

"Of what?"

"Are you tired of loving me?"

"Am I tired of loving you?" He gave me a smirk. "Never."

"Well, how come?"

"Because I don't expect anything from you, not anymore," Eric said frankly. "For how many years of loving you, I learned your love has always been there for me, but I was the one not ready for it. I thought I was."

"Whatever you give me, I'll accept it and think of it something I deserved for that specific time frame." He sighed, dreamily looking to the sunset, "I know you loved Nathan, Avery. Even if we met first, you loved him first and you still do, even when you don't breathe a word of it. Your love for him even grows fonder when you don't say it. That kind of love, I know that if I were to bet on it for mine, I am destined to lose. I can't compete with that. But I'll never withdraw my bet. The offer's always on the table for you."

"Eric..."

"You don't have to say anything," he interrupted.

"To be honest, I don't know why you're putting up with me. Why are you hurting yourself for me?" I raised my voice out of genuine pity. "You know I don't deserve you. I don't. I'm not even enough for a man like you."

The wind was blowing his hair when he held my hand tight and said, "Avery, your love will always be enough for me."

I let go of my hand slowly and let out an awkward laugh. "Maybe soon enough you'll realize that you deserve far better to be loved by someone with the same kind of heart as you. Soon enough you'll find a woman worthy of your love."

Eric was about to respond defensively when all of a sudden, our seemingly serious conversation was put to hold. "Yoohoo!" called a drunk female guest from the lower deck. We turned our heads.

"Hey, love birds!" Audrey yelled at us with a huge grin on her face, looking somewhat crazier than usual. "We're not getting any younger so why don't we chase after the party while we still have the stamina to run, how about that?"

"Why don't we, uh...talk about this over a bottle of champagne?" I suggested.

Eric nodded hesitantly.