i began this year with a simple task in mind — keep a distance from you. without knowing it, you've been a toxic waste in my life. you're someone who i can't let go of, even though there's been times where you make me cry and hurt more than anyone.

but you're not a bad person, and i know that. you have such a heartfelt personality and it's so easy to get along with you, which means it's difficult to hate you.

i'm glad you're happy now. your girlfriend is gorgeous, and i wish you all the best.

i just wish you had noticed how much you meant to me. i spent so many nights just thinking about what it'd be like to get the slightest attention from you. i had dreams where you'd be holding my hand and laughing at me like we were together for so long.

but everything has to come to an end. i suppose this is a wake up call for me. it's not like i want to stop being your friend, but i can't handle being around you without the occasional butterflies rising in my stomach or my heart beating a mile a minute whenever you speak.

i wish you the best, b. i hope that girl makes you happy like you did for me. i hope that one day, i'll get over these tiny insecurities about me so that i can be your friend for real. no filter, no worries about my appearance, and no lingering feelings.

you're going to get so many things you've wanted in your life, but i was just hoping that i was one of them.