Winnie Buldstrode sees herself when she stares at the moon.

She realizes just how odd of a thought that truly is, how could one see themselves as the moon? And perhaps it is a peculiar thought, she thinks, maybe she really has lost her mind.

It would certainly explain why she was sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower at twelve thirty in the night rather than her in bed. To be fair, she had tried to sleep, and she even thought she would be able to sleep through the night undisturbed. She had returned from the kitchens with Theo, her bones exhausted from throwing every word and every truth in his face she could muster, she had eaten the chocolate cake in silence. Until she remembered that chocolate cake was Cordelia's favourite dessert and she suddenly felt ill as if she could throw up at any minute.

( In fact she did throw up, but only after she had woken up with her sheets stuck to her skin with sweat and images of everyone she trusted dead at her feet with Voldermort laughing cruelly beside her. )

Fate was a fickle bitch she had decided that night, for the same night she awoke with terror clinging to her bones for what felt like the thousandth night in the row, with the same night she had awoken with a message from mother nature stating she was very much not pregnant.

So with her stomach feeling as if it was being crucified a million times a second, and her eyes stinging painfully from the lack of sleep, she found herself standing with her elbows resting against one of the many railings in the Astronomy Tower. She had no real intention of leaving her dorm room once again that night, but by the time she returned from the loo, her feet carried her away from her dorm and out of the Gryffindor common room altogether.

Which brought her exactly to watching the moon.

It was a full moon that night, leaving the moon to bask in all its glory, a perfect circle surrounded by millions of stars, all twinkling down upon the earth. It made her feel rather small, like all her problems were so stupid in the long line of things, that she was just this one person on this big wide earth. But then, it made her feel rather lonely too.

As a child, she would find herself watching the moon for hours, no real rhyme or reason behind it, just simply because she could. She found it comforting in a way that she couldn't ever explain to someone beyond the words of 'it's always here.'

If someone knew her enough they would understand that and leave it at that, but Winnie Buldstrode often found herself wondering if anyone truly knew her. For a time, she thought nobody knew her better than Cordelia Flint, but then her wayward cousin never gave her the time of day after Christmas, so now Winnie believed nobody knew her better than herself.

It was both a lonely and comforting feeling, leaving both warmth and coldness to trickle through her worn down body.

She knew people tried to get to know her, and for the longest time she told herself it was better if they didn't. She was protecting them that way, she was perfectly fine being alone because she had Cordelia and that was all that mattered. Winnie felt she was being a little too stubborn to think that, because in the end, just like everyone else in her life, Cordelia left without a word.

In truth, Winnie thought she was destined to be alone, just like the moon. Destined to roam her life looking after people from afar, looking in on the inside. It's how she felt when around the Weasley's, they rather terrified her if she were to be honest. They were so quick to accept her, that it almost felt like a test in her mind. She didn't think she cut out for a life where everyone laughed without a care in the world, where things were solved with love. Love did a lot of things but it was never the answer to your problems, love isn't enough sometimes, if it was, maybe she would be living a simpler life than what she was. So perhaps, maybe she was just fated to be alone.

She thought she was okay with that, she told herself she would be okay with that. But then she thought of her cousin and a certain Slytherin boy who snaked his way into her mind.

She thought of Theodore Nott, with his self assured smirk and all the times she swore she dispersed him ever since the awful tooth accident in their early childhood. Winnie often cringed to think about how rude she could be towards him, but then again, he was an insufferable git and dished back every cruel word given to him, back towards her. But that insufferable git was starting to turn out to be much more than she ever imagined, her face heated painfully at the thought of his smile making her stomach swirl. She didn't like him, he was just ... well she really didn't know what to call him. He was just Theo, and Theo was someone she found herself smiling at whenever he came into her mind.

But even Theo couldn't keep away the hollowness that ached in her heart at the thought of Cordelia Flint not being in her life. It felt as if a part of her was missing altogether, leaving her simply existing and not actually living through anything. Not even her new fondness for certain Gryffindor's helped ease the pain, for nothing would ever really help if Cordelia was never in her life.

For all the reasons that mattered, Winnie Buldstrode would always feel hollow and bitter if she was without Cordelia Flint.

A heavy sigh left the surface of her lips as she opened her eyes, willing herself to look at the moon and not dwell on her thoughts. There was nothing more she could do, she wouldn't gravel on her knees to her parents to take her back, she wouldn't face Voldermort and show off her arm in hopes that he wouldn't simply kill her and feed her to his snake. That was something Cordelia couldn't understand, and besides, Winnie didn't see why she had to apologize. It wasn't as if her cousin ever tried to hear her out, she just told her to make it right. As if Cordelia wasn't there for the many times Winnie paced her room floor, screaming in fury at her parents' ideals.

So Winnie tried her best to replace her thoughts with the moon. The night air chipped at her face, blowing her brunette hair back beyond her shoulders. Her night robe was rolled up around her forearms, while it hung loosely around her body. She wore a pair of Hermione's pyjama bottoms, a light blue with tiny owls that were reading. Winnie had barely hold back the sense to wrinkle her nose in concern when Hermione handed them to her, but seeing as Hermione was offering to give her a change of clothes until Winnie was able to buy more of her own things, ( she had no idea how she planned on doing so, seeing as she was now familess in a sense with nothing to her name ) she said nothing. She wore a simple black cotton tank top, which seeps of the night air trickled down beneath the cracks of her sleeping robe onto her pair skin, causing goosebumps to trial against her ivory skin. Winnie didn't mind, however, she'd take the cold over the sweat that clung to her skin from when she first awoke any time.

A sudden howl caused her to tear her eyes away from the silver moonlight, eyes falling towards the Forbidden Forest just beyond Hagrid's Hut. For a moment, her eyes narrowed in confusion, until she remembered it was a full moon. Her lips fell in an 'O' shape at the realization that the howl had come from a werewolf. Memories of Umbridge's class earlier came back in a sickeningly flash, she was positive Umbridge thought it was the joke of the century to speak about werewolf laws on the day of a full moon, Winnie just thought it was tasteless and cruel.

She twisted her ring on her finger as another howl took over the night, this one sounding more or less in pain than the last. It was sickening, twisting inside of her ear like a dog being tortured. She shivered then, suddenly hugging her robe closer to her body as her mind trailed to Remus Lupin.

She had figured out about him being a werewolf in her third year, back when he was a professor. He didn't take much granted, she was much more of a know it all then compared to now, back then, she had some small sliver of hope that maybe her parents would approve of her again if she got all O's. It was a childish wish, but it allowed her to figure out his secret that year.

At first she had been horrified, horrified that a real werewolf was teaching her at school, horrified that he smiled and was kind, quiet in a way she never pegged a werewolf to be. She had heard stories growing up, mostly told by her parents to scare her off from walking in the woods or going off too far on her own. They told her of werewolves, of Fenrir Greyback to be fair, told her how all werewolves were vile monsters. All rough, all bloodthirsty and didn't deserve to live among them like people. Winnie loved them for a time, mostly out of fear, but believed them all the same.

It wasn't until she was left with the fact that she had meant a real one, one who didn't seem to be as blood thirsty, nor as scary as her parents made them out to be. It was then when Winnie separated her parents beliefs and her own. She didn't believe that someone who seemed to always eat chocolate while he taught or would smile so kindly at a student when they got something right, could be a monster. It was something that seemed so morbid and awful to her, it was where she decided that not all werewolves were monsters.

That some were just unfortunate enough to receive a fatal bite that doomed them to a life of being slaves to the moon. Once she had found out, she had left a brand new bar of chocolate on Remus' desk that following week, she had left it when nobody else was in the classrooms. She had been aware of him being gone due to the fact Hermione had mentioned that Remus' was teaching Harry with extra time, she took the chance and left it without a word or a simple thought. She didn't want to take the chance of someone accusing her of crushing on a teacher, when really it was a silent peace offering. A peace offering for her ever believing a word her parents said about werewolves.

Winnie sighed, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, which failed miserably as a gust of wind only caused it to snag out once more. Flying against the side of her cheek, and causing her to slap it back, resembling something of a child when they smoothed their hair back.

It was the same time as the sound of footsteps hitting stone, surrounding her. Moving as quickly as the wind, her wand was out, protecting herself against horrors that raked her mind. For a minute, she thought she imagined seeing glowing crimson eyes and a wide cheshire cat smile glisten in the darkness, but just as quickly as the image came, it vanished with another.

This time she saw something less threatening,

Cordelia Flint and Harry Potter stood, each looking at her as if she had two beads. She supposed by her reaction, ( wand stretched out, and eyes blown wide with fear ) it made sense. But she paid zero attention to that, especially when Cordelia reached out for Harry's elbow, turning them around to leave.

Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, the stinging of her scarred hand, the image of Theo saying she hadn't lost Cordelia, or maybe it was just the fact that Winnie was suddenly reminded why she was so angry in the first place. But either way, Winnie surged forward, her feet carrying her almost comically towards the pair, she supposed she looked insane. Flushed face, red itchy eyes, brunette hair laying in a lump of tangles, pink bunny slippers on her feet and her nightwear all bunched up and slapped around on her, all the while, her lips were pulled into a scowl, showing her teeth.

"Oh don't you dare! Cordelia Flint, you get back here!" The girl snapped, reaching forward and snagging her cousin's wrist, perhaps more roughly than she intended for the brunette to let out a tiny gasp. Winnie ignored the fact that Harry was there, it wouldn't be the first time she'd blow up with Harry there. "We are going to talk, this is so—"

"There's nothing to talk about, Winifred, now please," Cordelia snapped back, eyes flashing as she ripped her wrist from Winnie's grasp. The brunette felt her eye twitch slightly, hearing the use of her full name erupt from her cousin's mouth. Acid poured in the back of her mouth, stinging and burning furiously as Cordelia glared at her cousin, anger radiating off of her.

"Oh so I'm Winifred now when you're pissed? Real mature Cordelia, really, let me clap," Winnie seethed, throwing up her hands and clapping three times, the sounds ringing around them as she pierced her gaze onto her cousin. Who's hand tightened against her sides slightly, fist forming from her fingers.

"Is now really the time for this, I mean..."

"Shut it Harry!" The two girls yelled at the same time, each looking at the bespectacled male with a look of fury and deep rooted anger in their chest. Winnie's chest heaved and boiled, everything she dealt with the past few weeks coming to the surface, every stab of her heart, every twist of the knife in her back caused her anger to win. All directing itself on one person, the one person she once promised to never leave.

"You want to talk about maturity? Why don't you take some responsibility into what the fuck you did?" Cordelia reflected, pointing a finger at Winnie who simply swatted it away before quickly taking a step forward.

"What the fuck I did?" She half shouted, half whispered before her head fell back in a loud laugh. Hair falling down around her shoulders before she snapped her gaze back to her cousin, face flushed in fury and eyes narrowed. "You don't even fucking know what I did, I did it for you, you selfish bitch!"

"For me?" Cordelia questioned in disbelief, her world thumpingly off her parted lips like snake venom, bitter and cold as they slapped Winnie in the face. "You didn't do this for me, you did this for. Just like you do everything else, it's for you."

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" Winnie snapped, stepping closer the same time Cordelia did. The blonde haired girl gripped her wand tighter, as she watched the brunette lock her jaw. The moonlight trickled in on them, making them look like ice blaring fire at each other.

"You must be really fucking dumb," the girl laughed bitterly, eyes wide with fire and nose flaring. "You lied to me, you kept this from me. I trusted you, I guess that was my fault. You did this so you could have something else to blame on the fact you push everyone away, on the fact that you're a stubborn bitch." She snapped, pointing a finger brutally at Winnie's chest.

The blonde snapped, her hand moving out before she could speak, resulting in a loud slap to ring through the tower. Cordelia's face fell to the side, a red hand mark printed across the surface of her face, shining in the moonlight. Winnie's hand fell to her side, bubbling furiously under the slight stinging of slapping Cordelia.

"I lied to you! Oh yes, Miss.Perfect Cordelia Flint has always been so honest about everything. But tell me, dear cousin, what happened to Max?" Winnie questioned, a smile ghosting across her lips as he pulled her fingers into a fist. It was the wrong thing to say in the lines of things, but nothing could've stopped what happened next. Not even Harry, who had surged forward to try and end the ridiculous fight brought on by two people who were too stubborn to admit they were both wrong.

Cordelia's wand flew into her hand, pointing inside square at Winnie, and before the blonde could even react, she was flown back against the wall. Landing with a loud 'thump' against the stone, a stupefy leaving Cordelia's lips as she stared daggers at her cousin.

"Sod off," Cordelia snapped, her voice wavering as if she could break off and cry any minute. Winnie pushed herself up, ignoring the pain sprouting through her head and back as she blinked furiously, choking back tears that clogged through her eyes.

"Gladly," she snapped back, tearing her eyes away as she heard Harry pull Cordelia out of the tower. Leaving her alone once more with the moon trickling down on her, but this time, she sat on the bitter cold floor. Her legs pulling up to her chest, wand falling to the ground beside her as her arms wrapped around her knees.

The events trickled through her mind, leaving her anger boiling to the surface with no other way to get it out. Screaming in frustration, she grasped her wand, ignoring the pain that shot through her body and head as she stood. Before raising her hand and yelling spell after spell into the night, creating dust and broken rocks around her feet, blind, scorching rage flowing down her face in forms of tears. Until she finally fell to her knees, face falling in her hands, all anger leaving her.

Leaving nothing but the hollowness of her heart and the aching thought that she lost Cordelia Flint forever.

༺♥༻

         Her teeth tore ruthlessly at the skin around her nails, her leg jiggling in black high stockings. She had left her Gryffindor robe sprawled against her bedpost that morning, her hair held back in a messy bun at the base of her neck, by now she suspected thousands of tiny chocolate brunette hairs to be framing her neck and face. She didn't care much for it, however, she didn't even care enough to fix her tie, that was so loose it could be considered untied.

She ignored the taste of copper that twinged in her mouth as she leaned back against her seat in Herbology, she had gotten there early after Potions that morning. Winnie had taken the route of ignoring everyone and their entire being since last night, she hadn't slept after returning to her dorm room. Inside, she sat staring at the never ending fire, watching it twinkle and crack in the darkness as replayed Cordelia's actions and words over and over again in her mind.

To say she was pissed would be an understatement, she was quite furious. Especially when she found out that her back had been spotted with purple bruises along the side of her spine, and after fact from being thrown back against rough stone she supposed. She was willingly beaten and she should probably pay a visit to the Hospital Wing, especially since she had smacked her head pretty hard against the stone as well, but quite frankly, she couldn't care.

So instead, she sat with her back aching in pain, her teeth ripping at her nails and her leg bouncing uncontrollably. She was aware when Cordelia Flint walked into the classroom, but only because she felt the wooden bench shift in under her from when Theo took a seat next to her.

Her heart squeezed just a little tighter as the smell of his cologne waved around her. She ignored his presence, or at least intended to ignore him. He didn't quite do her any good though, especially not when he slapped a poorly wrapped box of camisole tea leaves down on the table in front of her. She jumped, startled by the act, only causing her to wince as her back slapped against the back of the wood.

"'Sorry, didn't mean to startle ya," he grinned, and she hated the way her shoulders seemed a little less tense all because of it. She shifted in her seat, glancing at him and then the purple box on her desk. "Go on, it's not poison ya know," he commented only after she continued the eye match a fifth time.

"I know that," she grumbled, face flushing from embarrassment, as she reached forward and grasped it. Turning it over in her hands before glancing up at him, watching the way his shoulders rolled in his robes, a quill placed against his fingers, twirling it between them. "Why?"

"'Fraid you'll have to be a bit more specific, love," he drawled, sending her a wink as she huffed. She really did not have the patience for him today, and yet, he was the first person she had spoken to since the school day started.

"Why the tea leaves?" She clarified, half snapped at him. If her tone bothered him, he didn't show it, for he only shrugged, leaning back in his seat before tracing his green eyes across her face. She shifted, uncomfortable from his observation of her, she tried to lean back, to appear more casual and not so wound up like a grumpy Hippogriff. It failed, however, as she winced once more when the wood hit her back.

"What's wrong with your back?" Theo questioned, leaning in closer as his eyes drifted to a table on the other side of them. Winnie didn't need to look to know he was looking at Cordelia, this thought caused her to raise her chin, refusing to look at her cousin, not after last night. She was quite done looking at someone who didn't seem to care.

"You didn't answer my question," she deadpanned, turning to drop the box of camisole leaves into her bag.

"Neither did you," he drawled back quickly, leaving her to throw a glare over at him.

"I asked you first," she shot back stubbornly, choosing to ignore the need to grin slightly as she watched him laugh, his deep brunet locks falling in front of her forehead as he looked down at his hands.

"My answer is slightly boring but," he paused, drawing out the 'u's with a heavy sigh, "it helps with sleeping remember? You look like you could use some," he shrugged, her heart clenched slightly as she frowned. Looking down at the table as her leg started to bounce once again, she twisted her ring between her thumb and middle finger, taking comfort in the familiar act. She only then realized she had been quiet for too long.

"You really know how to make a girl swoon," she sighed, forcing out a laugh as she turned her head to look at him, only to find him already watching her. His eyebrows furrowed against his forehead, green eyes tracing her face with concern flashing through them. She parted her lips, opening her mouth to speak but finding no words to fall back on. She shifted suddenly, closing her mouth as his eyes trickled down to her lips. Her tongue darted out, licking the surface of her lips as his gaze returned to her eyes. "I fell," she coughed, turning her gaze away from him as she stared down on the desk once more.

"W-What?" He questioned, stifling a laugh as Winnie felt her cheeks flush. She shifted, straightened her skirt as she fiddled with the fabric between her fingers.

"My back, I fell. I guess it hurts," she shrugged, it wasn't necessarily the truth, but she didn't feel comfortable telling him that Cordelia flew a hex at her after she slapped her. In fact, she never intended to say a word about that night ever again, only she, Cordelia and Harry needed to know.

"You fell?" He questioned slowly, causing her to snap her head towards him, to see his lips quirked up slightly.

"Yes! I'm clumsy you see, and well my foot uh ... got caught in my bed sheets this morning! Yes! Yes, I tripped in my bed sheets," she finished with a small smile, hitting herself in the head as if to hit home the clutz idea. He stared at her with a single raised eyebrow, she had the smallest feeling that he didn't believe her. If she were to be honest, she wouldn't believe herself either, but neither had time to dwell further on it for Professor Sprout trailed into the classroom, a box laid upon her hips.

"Right! Morning children!" She spoke cheerily, her voice trailing all around them as Winnie had the itching feeling to roll her eyes. She didn't particularly believe it was a good morning, but she also wasn't about to voice that out loud. She'd save her displeasure for Umbridge, her favourite teacher after all!

"I have a special surprise for you all!" The Herbology teacher laid the box softly down in front of her, clapping her hands together as a wide smile traced her face. Winnie had the inkling that whatever it was, was certainly not a good surprise.

Her eyes traced the room then, landing first on Neville, who was nearly leaning on the corner of his desk with excitement. She almost smiled at it, seeing the dirt blond boy simply burst in his element. Not much could be said for the rest of the class, half of them sat leaning back in their chair, in defence trailing on their faces. She was quite sure Dean Thomas was asleep on his desk, while Pansy sat next to him, inspecting her nails.

"Now, each set of partners will be given one of these plants," she paused, pulling out a potted plant from inside the box. It was a smaller plant, with a wide green stock. On the top sat a wider oval sort of a flower, the top resembled something of a muggle cactus. But instead of it being green with a thousand little spikes, it was a bright crimson that was opened like a star fish with ridges and tiny spikes along the sides. "It'll be your job for this semester to work together as a team, to nourish it and make it resemble this one by the end."

"You make it sound like we're taking care of tots," Lavender spoke up from her spot next to Blaise, the two sat on the furthest edges of their chairs to be away from each other. Winnie suspected Lavender to fall any minute by the way she hung off her chair.

"You may think of it like that, yes," Professor Sprout nodded, smiling as a few students groaned around them. "Now, now! It's certainly not as hard as tot. You just need to water it, make sure it's getting enough sunlight and isn't exposed to too much warmth," she directed, once again earning groans from around the classroom.

"Sounds like a bloody tot," Draco grumbled, crossing his arms as people snickered around them. Even Winnie ended up laughing lightly, though she half covered it with her hand. Until, she realized she was laughing at something Draco Malfoy, at that she shut her mouth and stared at the Professor.

"I must warn you, don't offend me. It's a sensitive plant with a poisonous black venom, offended by it and it may try to sting you," Professor Sprout warned as she eyed them all closely, Winnie felt the urge to make a comment about how they shouldn't let Draco take care of one. At least not after the incident with the Hippogriff third year.

"So we're going to be parents," Theo commented, grinning from ear to ear as Sprout started walking around the room to pass out a pot with a simple weed growing in the soil.

"Oh Merlin, don't call us that," she groaned, wrinkling her nose as Theo laughed lightly. Thanking Sprout as she laid a pot in front of them, Winnie leaned closer, her eyes staring at the tiny green stock. "Reckon we'll mock this up in the first month?" She whispered softly, tracing her finger along the rim of the pot, not wishing to put her finger on the stock, in case it somehow decided to sting her.

"Nah, I'll think we'll be the perfect plant parents," he replied easily, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as if he did it everyday. Which, to be fair, he did make a habit of doing so almost every chance he got. She sniffed, rolling her eyes as she swatted his arm off of her shoulders.

"Don't call us that," she commented again, taking out a piece of parchment to sketch out the plant design on week one, just like Sprout directed them all to do. She was certain Theo was the better option to be the drawer, but for the case of her finger nails, she needed something to do with her hands rather than chewing them.

"You're breaking my heart, wife," he pouted, placing his hands on his chest as he dramatically fell back against his chair. A few people around them glanced over as he groaned loudly, Winnie simply huffed, wishing she wore her hair down to cover the constant flushing off her cheeks.

"Honestly, you're insufferable," she grumbled, frowning down at the pot she rather poorly drew on the parchment.

"And you're a bad drawer, nobody's perfect," Theo drawled, snagging the paper off their desk as he rolled it into a ball. Winnie let out a loud 'hey!' in reply as he simply threw it down on the corner of their desk. "I mean it, that looked like a drowned fish," he asked, shaking his head and pulling a book that she recognized as his sketchbook.

"It did not!" She argued, crossing her arms across her chest as he snorted rather comically. Eyes drawn to the plant and flickering to the blank page of parchment he opened up to. A black pencil between his fingers, wide block words in white shined on the edge, she tilted her head finding that it read 'charcoal.' She fluttered her gaze up to his face then, watching as his hair fell idly downwards towards his forehead, lips drawn in a line that huffed out every few minutes as he concentrated, she noticed the drawn down lines of his eyebrows, and for a moment felt the urge to reach out and smooth the lines out.

"Thank you," she started, not startling him the least bit as she simply hummed in response. "For the uh... leaves and last night. It helped, I don't feel so," she paused again, wringing her hands together as her lips pressed into a line, frowning slightly as her chest clenched together.

His hand paused then, eyes moving to her own eyes. A hollow green with nothing reaching out from beyond them, something she grew used to having when around the Slytherin boy. Slowly, Theo's lips turned up into a sliver of a grin, causing half dimples to pop out of his cheeks.

"I found something for you," Theo whispered, his voice hushed as he looked away back towards his drawing. Her eyebrows knitted together as she laced her fingers together, body anglingly sideways as her knees brushed against his chair.

"What do you mean?" She questioned, tilting her head as he side, side glancing at her before leaning back in his seat, his arm brushing the top of her knee in the process.

"I found one of my mothers journals, it has some information that I thought would be helpful to you," he shrugged, looking over at her as her lips opened slightly, her tongue running along her lip. Her hazel eyes stared at him, widened unblinking as the process of his words swirled around in her head. His mothers journal. His mother whom he never speaks of, his mother who perhaps means more to him than anyone else in the world. A piece of her that he's willingly to share with her.

"Theo I-," she paused, shaking her head slightly as she tucks wisps of stray hairs behind her ear. "You don't have to share that with me, I know that's personal and well-"

"No, stop," he cut her off, shaking her head as his hand reached out to rest on her left knee. Burning a hole through the thin material of her black tights, heat poured through the palm of his hand as her eyes snapped down towards his hand. Body stiffening slightly, the same moment he took his hand away, almost as if he caught himself touching her. "Look, this can help you. I promised I will help you, I don't have it with me right now but when I do I'll give it to you."

Winnie's lips pressed into a line, looking over at him with her eyes still wide and burning amber, she traced the way he swallowed, looking away from her with measured movements and eyes. She swallowed, glancing away as an unbidden smile traced the curves of her lips, nose twitching as she twisted her silver ring.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly, Theo looked at her a moment longer, before he turned back to the sketch of their little pot. Her fingers falling to the silver ring on her finger, he understood, and she listened.

༺♥༻

A loud groan erupted out of her mouth as she lay sprawled, face first against the surface of her bed. Her face smushed into her pillow and her hand pressed into the surface of her bed and on her stomach. There were only ever two moods Winnie existed in when on her period, one) she desperately wanted to eat every chocolate thing she could find and two) she wanted to punch everything she could find.

Winnie existed in both of those states at that every moment, empty chocolate wrappers thrown on the bedside table, her eyes now squeezed shut to block out the thumping in her brain and stomach. In her head, she was planning a way on how she could make mother nature come alive only so she could kill her again, because Merlin, there was absolutely no need for her to feel as if her insides were punishing her for not having a baby! There was no need for her to constantly be bleeding for a week, it's a little extreme if you were to ask her.

The blonde''s hair still sat in a messy bun, which now was more of a half up, half up hairstyle, but she didn't care much. Nor did she smooth out her hair as she head tapped at her window, grumbling, she pushed herself up on her elbows, her eyes blinking through waves of her hair as she found a grey owl staring back at her. Grumbling, she pushed herself up, unlocking the latch and letting the owl fly through.

"Nobody else is here, so whoever you are here for, you're going to have to wait," the girl mumbled as she flopped back down on her bed. Her legs leaned over the edge of her bed as she laid sideways, this time her back hitting the mattress as she covered her face with her hands. She had opted out for skipping dinner that evening, purely for the purpose of trying to get some sleep before she attended detention with Umbridge once more.

The owl hooted at her once more, causing the girl to groan as she pushed herself up on her elbows to look at him, watching as his wide hazel eyes looked at her from his perch on the edge of her bed. Frowning, she sat up, crossing her legs under her as the owl swooned down on her. A letter attached to his leg where he landed on her shoulder, soft feathers smoothing against the surface of her cheek.

"Are you for me?" Winnie questioned softly, her eyebrows furrowed on her forehead as the owl hooted in response before nuzzling her fingers as she smoothed down its head. Slightly puzzled, seeing as she knew her parents wouldn't write to her, she had no idea on who could need her for something. Deciding not to think further on it, she reached up and carefully untied the letter from the owl's leg.

"Uh... I don't have any treats for you, the owlery has some, I think? I wouldn't really know, maybe you can fly to Harry for some. He has Hedwig," she shrugged, expecting the light grey owl to fly out through the open window. Instead, he stayed perched on her shoulder.

Sighing, she rolled her eyes and let her gaze fall to the letter. Ripping it open, she pulled out a folded piece of parchment, trailing her fingers against the folds she chewed on her bottom lip. Her name was written in cursive, neat and peculiar in a way only a Pureblood could be. She recognized it, after years of her earlier life being used to practice how she wrote, how she walked, how she talked, it was the signs of a life beat into you at a young age that could never shake.

She unfolded the letter at that, deciding to just brave whatever was written. Almost admittedly, however, all threats vanished from her as she found herself snorting instead.

'Poppins,

The house is a little quieter and more lonely without all you kids running around, I would say for you all to come back and bring some life to this place again, but I'm 'fraid Molly would have my head for that.

I don't know if you've read the Daily Prophet, if you haven't, good on you. There's nothing but rubbish in there anyway, but if you have, don't fret. News will pass soon and everyone will forget about you, ( I mean that in the nicest way possible, Moony says that it sounds a little rude. ) and I want you to remember that what it said isn't true. You do have a family ... or well, I mean, you could have a family. My door is always open, and I mean literally, I can't leave so I'm always here.

Even if you don't decide to stay, you are always welcomed. From one family disappointed to another,

Sirius.

P.S the owl is yours, enjoy!

Winnie gaped slightly, her eyes rereading the letter once, and then twice, and then a third time just to be sure she wasn't dreaming. She found herself laughing at some point, a part of her believed that Sirius hadn't meant what he said. That he said it only because it was the right thing to say. She had showed up at his house completely unannounced, and he couldn't very well kick her out then. But then he wrote to her, and basically stated once again that she could live there. Not only that, he gave her an owl.

Her hands dropped the letter, letting it land swiftly on her lap as she turned her head to look at the owl who was still attached to her shoulder. Watching her like a hawk, his face was decorated with white fur, black dots darting across it in a way that reminded her like freckles. The owl, who she realized didn't have a name, hooted at her before nuzzling the side of her face once more. Were owls always so affectionate? She'd have to ask Harry.

Winnie frowned, realizing she couldn't very well turn it away, it seemed to ignore every try she had done. Besides maybe having an owl would be easier, though she had zero idea on who she would write to, but the thought of having something that was hers and not her family sent a wave of pride through her.

"Alright, now what do we name you?" She spoke suddenly, standing and stretching out her arm. The owl seemed to get the message, for he hopped from her shoulder and onto her forearm. She tapped her chin with her finger, walking slowly to the open window before an idea popped in her brain. "I know! Apollo, like the Greek gods," she grinned, which the owl — now Apollo — hooted in reply. "Perfect!" She smiled softly, scratching Apollo' head as he nuzzled her fingers before taking off through the evening sky. She watched, as he circled in the air before slowly becoming a dot around the castle, disappearing behind a building she couldn't see.

Sighing, she shook her head, eyes falling onto the letter she received from Sirius. She picked it up as she sat back down, deciding to reread it again, but before she could do anything, loud laughter floated through the room as she looked up to the door of her dorms. Lavender and Parvati walked in, with their arms locked and their heads together as they giggled amongst themselves.

"Oh!" Lavender stopped suddenly, her eyes landing on Winnie who sat on the edge of her bed. Her fingers holding the letter as her eyes watched the pair stand, the brunette shifted, uncomfortable from their eyes. "We were wondering where you disappeared to," the blonde finished, her dark skin trickling with curls of her hair as she continued her way into the room.

"Oh, I wasn't hungry," Winnie shrugged, shifting on her bed as she watched Parvati walk in, throwing her braids over her shoulder as she took a seat beside Lavender on the darker blonde's bed.

"What's that?" Parvati questioned, pointing a fat pink jewelry finger towards the letter. Winnie's eyes shot down to the parchment, before she folded it up quickly and shoved it in her bed sheet table.

"Nothing, just a letter," she answered quickly, perhaps far too quickly but the two girls didn't seem to notice.

"From who?" Lavender questioned idly, as she turned over to rest on her stomach, pulling out Witches Weekly from the bottom of her bed. "Couldn't be from your family, you know considering..."

"Lav!" Parvati snapped, brown eyes wide as she stared at her friend who looked up from flipping between the pages of the magazine. "You can't say that! That's rude," the girl finished, as Winnie narrowed her eyes at the two girls. Lavender's eyes widened , lips forming an 'O' as she looked over at Winnie.

"Oh! Sorry, it's just, I thought it would be okay. I mean, it's nothing to be ashamed of, we all know your family are all gits, but you know. The article in the Daily Prophet—"

"Wait. What article?" Lavender's words brought back the words she read only moments prior. He had mentioned an article on the Daily Prophet, and while she usually read them every morning with her breakfast, she had been too tired and quite frankly, wanted to smash her head into the table.

"You haven't seen it?" Lavender questioned, furrowing her eyebrows as her dark blue eyes watched Winnie's face. The blonde pressed her lips into a line, holding back the urge to suddenly snap at the female for the question.

"It's not that bad Winnie, your ... uh mum spoke to The Daily Prophet," Parvati paused as Winnie's hand curled into a fist, memories of Hermione's many tantrums from last year.

"Oh really, it would've been worse, she would have spoken to Rita, but she's been weirdly quiet since last year. And besides, it's no one's business," Lavender sighed, flipping a page as she swung her legs in the air, moving swiftly and causing the edges of her robes to pool down to her knees.

"What did she say?" Winnie questioned, slowly getting irritated and suddenly wishing Hermione was here.

"Well your mum just said that you were an abomination," Parvati spoke quietly as Winnie's mouth fell open, her eyes wide and pinned to the braided female who was looking anywhere but at her. "And that you were no longer considered a Buldstrode, it's really not that bad."

Winnie groaned loudly, throwing herself back against the bed as she placed her hands over her face. Rubbing her temples and feeling a slow headache ararat to pound its way behind her eyes. Really, she was well enough with just Harry, Hermione, The Weasley's and Cordelia knowing about her situation, let alone anyone in the whole wizarding world. Now she was positive everyone would be watching her and whispering about her, merlin, she could only imagine how her lovely sister would react to all this going public. She could already hear Millicent spreading rumours after rumours about her.

"Hey, you know nobody who actually matters cares right?" Lavender spoke suddenly, her voice softer and less full of a girly shrill. Winnie pressed her lips into a line, turning her head to look at the two girls, seeing them both watching with their lips twisted into a pitiful smile. Oh yes, that part was almost as bad as the rumours.

"Yeah," Winnie muttered, turning her face to look up at the ceiling, her hands running down her face as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"You know what can make you feel better?" Parvati asked slowly, Winnie heard the creaking of her feet against the floorboards. For a moment, the blonde almost thought they would say Divination, which always seemed to be the answer for the two girls. Winnie didn't mind Divination, it certainly made up for her naps in Third Year, but she hadn't bothered to take it after that. Staring into a crystal ball and seeing nothing but smoke but a damper on the class.

"Let us do your nails! I always find pretty colours on our nails," Lavender spoke loudly, clapping her hands together as Winnie internally winched. Her eyes glanced down at her chewed nails, pieces of skin ripped from her cuticles.

"Uh... you can try," the blonde sighed, pushing herself up on her elbows as she watched Parvati and Lavender grin, instantly bouncing up onto their feet. Winnie watched, trying to hold back a frown as she watched Parvati pull out a bright pink box from under her bed. "If you pull out any pink nail polish, I'll hex you," Winnie warned, though only halfheartedly. The blonde could never truly be mad at the two girls, they were always nice to her, and sometimes when her life became a little too boring, it allowed her to get all the drama and gossip that circled Hogwarts.

"But it's so pretty," Lavender frowned as she came over to sit on the edge of Winnie's bed, the blonde sending her a glare as she pushed herself up. Crossing her legs under her as she held out her hands to Lavender. "Oh my Godric! Winnie! You shouldn't bite your fingers, it's terribly frowned upon, plus, you'll never have pretty fingernails if you keep biting them." Lavender frowned, as Winnie sighed dramatically, slouching as she rested her chin on the hand Lavender wasn't holding.

"I'll keep that in mind," the girl mumbled, offering Parvati a small smile as the girl came up to sit beside her. Laying the box down on the bed as the three girls sat beside each other, smudged in on the small mattress.

"What about light blue?" That's pretty," Parvati suggested, holding up a small bottle of sky blue polish. Winnie eyed it for a moment, thinking blue wasn't the worst colour that she could have on her nails, besides, she'd probably scratch it off by tomorrow evening.

"It's pretty," Winnie agreed, which seemed to be enough for Lavender for she plucked it up from Parvati's fingers. Screwing it open and laying the bottle down on the cover of the box, Winnie's nose screwed up slightly as the toxic smell strolled around her nose, she leaned back slightly, keeping her fingers stretched out to Lavender who started applying the colour to Winnie's pinkie.

"So Winnie," Parvati started slowly, her own hands as she started painting her fingernails a bright pink colour. Winnie glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow as the brunette's lip titled into a smirk.

"You're partners with Theo in Herbology." Winnie suddenly regretted ever letting the two girls do anything to her, she groaned slightly, rolling her eyes as she huffed.

"Well spotted," Winnie frowned, looking down at her hand that rested in Lavender's lap. The golden blonde glanced up from her work, a wide smile floating across her tanned skin.

"You certainly don't seem like you're going to kill him anymore," Lavender observed, her voice playing on a sing songed tone, winning a dark blue eye before looking down at her work.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Winnie commented slowly, eyes falling to the side where her bedpost stood. Though the blonde tried her best to ignore the fact that there was no usual irritation laced in her words as there usually would be.

"Even though he's a slytherin, I would totally snog him," Lavender hummed as Winnie's mouth fell open, turning to look at the girl who swatted her freshly painted hand away. Swiping up and taking her other hand, Parvati broke off into giggles as the brunette's face flushed.

"I hardly see how that's relevant," Winnie mumbled as she sniffed, ignoring the heat that crossed up her cheeks.

"It's relevant because he's hot Winnie," Parvati sighed dreamingly, before blowing on her painted fingernails. "If he wasn't yours I'd try to get him, if you know what I mean," the girl winked, face wide in a grin as Winnie's lips fell open once again.

"Wha— I— He's not mine!" Winnie argued, eyes wide as the two girls giggled, Parvati reached over and patted Winnie on the cheek. The brunette shifted her head away from the girl's hand, pressing her lips into a line.

"Sureee," Lavender drawled, dragging out the e's in the word. "But can you at least admit you don't hate him?" The dark blonde questioned, raising an eyebrow as she finished painting Winnie's fingernails. Leaving the platinum blonde to keep her hands placed against her knees.

"I," she paused, pulling a frown onto the surface of her lips as she stared at the two girls. She hadn't been able to exactly pinpoint the exact time when she realized that she didn't hate Theo Nott, perhaps — if she were to be honest — she never actually hated him. But he certainly wasn't hers, and she certainly wasn't his. He was just simply, he was Theo. He was Theo with his everlasting smirk, Theo with his irritating words that made her both roll her eyes and slightly laugh. Theo who knew how to sketch better than she would've imagined, Theo who somehow always showed up when she needed someone. Theo who she felt in every smile, every breath and every heartbeat of her. "No. I don't hate him."

She pretended not to notice the way Parvati and Lavender shared a look, nor did she notice the way her eyes fell down to the bracelet Theo gave her on her wrist. She lifted a finger, tracing the silver metal, silently wondering when Theo Nott went from someone she hated, to someone she didn't.