Sleeping becomes both a blessing and a curse for the young werewolf.

Some days, she lays in her bed, covered in blankets upon blankets and sleeps until someone awakes her. Usually concerned for her, considering she had managed to sleep all through meal times without even waking to use the loo.

Other times, she'll lay awake staring at the ceiling, eyes clinging to the air with dryness as she yearns for the kiss of rest that never greets her.

So she lays, waiting, lost in her world or allowing herself to devour another book that rested upon the dusty shelves of the room she had grown to call her own.

Winnie finds herself doing that now, as the new moon looms over her, she spends the day with aching bones and fingers brushing yellowed pages of books and she reads. Remus had gifted her books a month earlier, when he had taken them from the Lupin Cottage. ( a place she has never seen for her own two eyes ) She had been mumbling about how there were only nonfiction books in the walls of Grimmauld; he had appeared with boxes of fictional novels the very next day.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe lays in her hands now, hair running out like a halo against the deep violet of her pillow case, arms looped together on her blankets with a sweater pulled over her arms to hide the translucent blemish to her skin. The closer she got to the moon, the paler she grew, until her skin appeared almost grey and white, as if she was on her deathbed.

A knock goes through the air in her room, hazel eyes glancing up from the pages in her book and towards the sound. Where a thick head of ebony locks sneaks through, the taller, lanky male holding a small silver tray. Two mugs of something she assumed was hot, due to the steam curling up in the air and creating a window of fog against his round glasses.

"Hot Chocolate, I've heard it helps," Harry explained smiling, walking over closer to the bed and she shifted upwards. Ignoring the slight weariness of her bones, the twitch of pain that filtered through her spine as she sat up against her pillows. The book fell shut softly as she laid it down against her lap.

"Thanks," Winnie replied softly, winching slightly at the noise of a spoon clattering against the silver tray. Harry must have noticed, for he apologized sheepishly as he laid the tray on her bedside table. She reached forward, taking the small yellow mug that was decorated with flowers around the handle, her nimble fingers wrapping around the warm glass, lifting it up to her nose as she let the steam warm her face. "Made with milk?" She hummed, questioning the boy with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm not an idiot," Harry rolled his eyes, shifting so one of his legs folded in under him slightly while the other let his foot hang off the bed. She manages to nudge him with her knee from underneath the blankets, before taking a sip of the liquid. Tilting her head back and closing her eyes, letting the warmth move down her throat and pooling in her belly. She pressed the pads of her fingers further into her mug, turning the tips around her chipped black nails white.

"Do you think they're ... erm together?" Harry questioned quietly, his voice a whisper above the flicking of the orange flame emitting from the small vanilla candle Winnie has lit on the nightstand. Her eyes snap open, tracing over to where Harry sat, jaw locked and staring down at the mug.

She didn't need to ask to know what he was thinking, it had been nearly two weeks since their trip to Diagon Alley. Two weeks since they followed Cordelia and Draco into Knockturn Alley. Though time faded and moved past them faster than she could blink, the memory of that entire day stayed glued in her mind.

In a particularly selfish situation, her mind didn't stay glued onto what Harry worried for. Instead, she pictured that scene in the twins shop, Theo smiling at little kids, Millie rolling her eyes, Theo smoothing hair out of her sister's face, her sister kissing his cheek. Everytime she pictured it, she felt her blood run bitter, frozen in her veins and her heart stammer painfully against her rib cage.

But then she reminds herself that Theo was not truly hers to mourn over, and the cycle could start again.

"Don't be foolish," Winnie sighed, opening her eyes and swallowing the sting in her chest with a mouth full of Hot Chocolate. "Cordelia has better standards than a Malfoy," the female sniffed, rubbing her chin with the crimson sleeve of her jumper, tugging the sleeves down over her knuckles.

The boy blew out a heavy breath between his lips, tilting his head upwards to close his eyes. His glasses slid up the crook of his nose, resting against the point on his nose between his nose and the start of his forehead. With long ebony strands of straight hair falling against the bronze colour of his forehead and the pale blue of one of his pullovers. He had let his hair grow out slightly, it now rested as a shaggy mess against his shoulders.

She knew he planned on cutting it before school, which made her slightly cringe on the inside. Winnie had overheard Sirius commenting on cutting Harry's hair the day before, she doubted that would turn out brilliant but didn't say anything against it either.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't the tiniest bit interested to see how big of a mess his hair would be.

"Perhaps not, but what about what happened in Borgin and Botts..." Winnie stopped listening then, once again she already knew what he would say. She has heard it all before after all, it seems that Harry Potter believes that Draco and Cordelia have taken the mark. Winnie had snapped at him at first, gotten so mad she nearly jumped at him.

But as she was left alone with nothing but time and her thoughts, she realized that she couldn't even say that he was wrong. She had been there, she had seen the way Borgin had stumbled backwards, flushing a pale mess of a man. As if he had seen death right in front of him, the thought made her ill.

At one point in time she could've said for certain that Cordelia Flint would never take the mark, but now? Now she wasn't so certain.

So she had no words to comfort the ebony haired boy, and he knew this, or at least, she suspected he did. For he laid his mug down on the nightstand table, and instead crawled in beside her. Just like he has done for numerous nights now since he had started staying with them. When nightmares plagued her dreams, he would hear her and come, waking her up slowly and staying while she shook like a tree in a storm. While she cried and sobbed all over him, until they both laid back down and slept. Their hands grasping into each other between them on a pillow, for both comfort and an anchor to hold them steady through the storms that always came.

"Read to me," Harry poked her softly in her cheek, catching the small smile that moved onto her lips as she shifted further downwards on her bed. Head now resting comfortably on top of the mountain of pillows she had gathered.

"Why would I do that?" She questioned, teasingly, though she had already started to pick up the book in her free hand, her mug laying steadily on her lap as she flipped open to the page she had been reading last.

And so they laid, Winnie reading out loud as Harry laid beside her, a small, strand of honey hair moving between his fingers as he listened. When the storm came to greet her later that evening in the shape of a moon, Harry hugged her softly, telling her he would see her in the morning before they left for the train station.

Because while neither one of them understood the workings of their strange life, they understood that the storm always came. Even as it passed, another would roll in after it, and while the pain was forever. The cure of having someone by your side was also forever, and worth nothing at all.

༺♥༻

          Remus had advised her on not going back to Hogwarts that morning when she stumbled up the stairs, away from the cage. Clothes wrapped around her frail body, it had been just her and Remus last night. Sirius had wanted to come, but Remus had insisted on him spending the last night with Harry.

Which Winnie was grateful for that morning when she finally turned back into a human, for new cuts and bruises scraped her skin. Crimson pooled on the concrete floor from beside her torso, apparently she had a particularly terrible night.

Remus said it was stress and that she needed to calm herself more, Winnie held the urge back to snort and question why she wouldn't be stressed.

She stood now beside the elder werewolf, dressed in a pair of sage green trousers that buttoned high up her abdomen. A white puffy sleeved top sat upon her chest, strings tied into a bow against her chest while the puff sleeves ran down to the surface of her palms. Clothed completely to hide the new cuts and bruises that ran down the surface of her skin. There was a wide, beige bandage running from under her left boob, to above her hip, where a jagged edge cut seeped into her skin.

She had placed bruise paste on her arms and surfaces of her legs, which helped ease the pain and the purple tint, but she still found herself holding back a wince when she rubbed against something or bumped her arms a particular way.

Winnie swallowed thickly, holding her ringed hands harder against the copper brass of her cart that held her belongings, her owl Athena and the tiny lavender pygmy puff called Toto. Harry had already left the pair to go find the Weasley's and Hermione, and while he offered her to come, she felt more safe away from the prying eyes of the crowd and near Remus instead.

"You ready?" The older male questioned softly, standing next to her dressed in a beige cloak and suit. She had patched up said cloak sometime during the summer, grimacing and the holes and frying threads. The cloak now had random light grey fabric threaded through parts of the material.

'No,' she wanted to say, no she wasn't ready for the looks, wasn't ready to face everyone again, wasn't ready to see her sister, wasn't ready for people to stare at her face like it was a crime scene. But she sucked in a breath anyway, reached up and fixed strands of her hair that she left down. She hadn't cut it all summer , letting it fall nearly down to her hips now, she preferred it long, easier to hide things that way.

"Your scars aren't a bad thing, Winnie. They don't make you who you are," Remus whispered softly, leaning down. She suspected he must understand the way she felt right now, with muggles walking around them unaware of anything. Her palms clammy and felt as if a rock was lodged in her throat everytime she swallowed. She glanced up at him, blonde strands falling in front of parts of her face, hazel eyes running over his own jagged lines that ran from his hairline, across his nose and stopping at his left cheek. Three lines that he was cursed to have forever, just like her.

She reaches over, taking a hold of his hand, she squeezes tightly, and he lets her. Because of course he understands, he'll understand better than anyone.

"Okay, I'm ready," she breaths, and despite the fact it came out as a breathless, shaking mess, she surges forward anyway. Taking them both and her cart through the brick wall and into the Wizarding World. Almost instantly, she is hit with a wave of comfort, perhaps it's because of the steam that coils up from the train, the smells of gas or the loud, excited laughter of first years. She suddenly feels a little warmer, a little better.

Remus leads them over towards the Weasley's, a swarm of copper in the middle of the train station — minus Harry and Hermione. The pair of werewolves greet the family with hurried smiles, just as Winnie glances around the place. Her eyes filtering through every person like a camera, snap shooting, remembering everything, their smells she wishes she couldn't smell, the sounds of their conversation she wishes she can't hear.

And then suddenly it becomes all too much.

She can hear, smell, sense everything. It's like she's standing on a stage, with every eye on her, all of them shouting and screaming until their throats are hoarse and rough with their words. Her skin crawls, as her feet slowly retract back closer to her cart, closer to Remus who she doesn't think notices, for she knows he is in a conversation with Tonks at the moment.

Her breathing quickens, teeth sinking down sharply on her bottom lip, with fingers twisting her old silver ring like it's a stopper to a bottle of soda. And then her eyes landed on her, standing alone with her eyes glued to some book she had between her hands. Nose wrinkled in its usual position, as if the world around her was below her.

Millie Buldstrode stands surrounded by people but to Winnie, she stands alone. Alone, just like Winnie was when she was cursed, when she was hunted like a piece of food and not a person. She stands alone, and there is a certain bubble of rage that pierces through her chest.

She isn't even aware of when she moves, but one minute she is standing next to Remus, and the next her hand is in the air and she has slapped her sister across the face. Leaving a wide crimson circle to grow across Millie's round cheek, her eyes wide and her hand coming up to cover it as her blue eyes stare at her sister with horror.

"You!" Winnie screeches, the betrayal she has felt for months seeping out on her tongue like poison. She had wished to strike her sister dead, had wished to inflict the pain that she had felt into her. Winnie has imagined seeing her sister alone again, has imagined shooting so many hexes at her that her blood seeps into the ground just like hers had. But now, all she feels is exhaustion, all she feels is that bottle of pain and agony pop open inside of her chest and leave a hollow hole in her heart.

Because this is her sister, this is the person who is supposed to be there for her, supposed to be family until the day they die. And she did this to her, she sent her there to their stop, to die. To leave her there for good, and sometimes, Winnie wishes she had died. It would've been better than this empty feeling of fear she feels everyday in her heart, would've been better than knowing she is cursed to share her body with someone, something.

"Winnie — I—" Millie sputters, blue eyes staring at the scars that line her sister's face while Winnie's lips tremble, her hands shake and press into the bruise on her leg. Right where her wand lays strapped to her thigh.

"Do you hate me that much? Am I really that horrible that you had to send a monster after me? That you wanted me to die?" Winnie questions, voice shaking as she stares heartbreakingly at her sister, wishing for the answers she knows will never truly cure her. "Tell me Millie I swear to Godric! You owe me that much!" Winnie screams, her voice carrying out over the train station, tears pooling in her eyes as her sister continues to stare, no words bubbling out of her lips.

Winnie moves to grasp her sister's shoulder, to throttle her, to beg for answers because nothing makes sense anymore. She knows they hated each other, she knows they haven't seen eye to eye in so long, but this? This can not be the answer, this terrible aching curse can not be the answer. Yet, she never gets to do any of that, for suddenly hands are grasping her wrist and she is being dragged away. Winnie almost picks up a fight, almost screams at the person taking her away, but all she can do is stare back at her sister. Stare at the emptiness in those icy blue eyes, stare at a stranger she no longer recognizes.

"Winnie, I know you like to pick fights with Millie but now isn't—" Winnie comes back to whatever reality is offered to her, blinking as she looks at the person who's still holding her wrist, looks at the person who dragged them back to a small corner in the station away from prying eyes. She blinks, seeing first a head of deep maroon hair, causing her eyebrows to crease in confusion, until cerulean eyes seep into her view and she realizes exactly who is with her at that moment.

"Cordelia?" She speaks, blinking, the words were meant to come as a statement, but trails off of her tongue as a question. As if she can't really believe she is there, as if, after all summer of having no one but the company she allowed herself to have, she can't truly believe her cousin is standing in front of her and they can talk finally.

"Yeah?" Cordelia questions, frowning as Winnie continues to blink, coming out of whatever daze she was in. Before she tears her wrist away, reaching up and wiping her damp face free of tears. She watches as Cordelia traces her eyes over her scars, and Winnie knows what she sees. One long, jagged like running from the start of her hair line, through her eyebrow, her eye and all the way to the start of her left nostril. The second beside it is smaller, starting two inches up from her eyebrow now, and instead curving like the other to run on the outside of her eye, ending at the start of her cheek bone. The last one is near her temple, ( she remembers Wiona telling her she was lucky it didn't strike it, Winnie stopped listening after that. ) it intersects the second scar, before running out and branching off like a branch of a tree. Stopping right by the side of her face where the cheekbone curves downwards.

She knew Cordelia would look, they're standing inches apart with a light glowing down on them. It's almost as if the word is showcasing her scarred face for her cousin to see. Winnie swallows, lifting up and tugging her hair to cover some of her face, tilting away and towards the Weasley's and Remus.

"I should probably say goodbye," the girl mumbles quietly, ignoring the pain in her chest. She knew that everyone would look, she knew her scars would become like a wonder, people would notice that first than anything else, it still didn't stop the dull ache she would swallow down when it actually happened.

"I'll come with you," Cordelia frowns, and whether or not she feels guilty for staring at Winnie's scars, the brunette doesn't question. She simply nods her head and moves to walk towards them, only pausing when the false redhead reaches forward to intertwine their hands. Winnie glances down, allowing the familiar feeling of comfort radiate through her skin, she squeezes back then, before moving them forward.

Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione have already left for the train, meaning the Weasleys have already started to leave. Winnie was grateful for that, she wasn't sure she could handle so many people at once. Already feeling like her skin is on fire from all the emotions and people around her.

"Winnie, where'd you go, you know it's not— Oh, Miss.Flint," Remus pauses, noticing her cousin standing beside her. He sends Winnie a concerned look for a moment, and she knows what he is thinking. He had told her his concerns about her returning so close from the full moon. She is still tired, still easily irritated, still in pain. But she didn't need any more reason to stand out that year, even if every step and movement felt like a knife slicing through her. "It's nice to see you, I like your hair," Remus compliments, smiling softly at Cordelia who reaches up and touches her hair that whisks across her shoulders.

"Thanks," the girl nods, rubbing her left forearm against her for a minute. Winnie doesn't pay any attention to it, but by the way Remus tracks the movement like a hawk, she suspects that he does. That causes Winnie to glance over at Cordelia, looking down at her left forearm with a creased eyebrow as Cordelia clears her throat. "We should probably get going, don't want to miss the train," she sniffs, shuffling on her feet as she glances away. Winnie frowns, before shrugging off the weird nagging movement in her mind.

She unlocks their fingers, moving forward to hug Remus quickly. Being mindful of both their new wounds, he hugs her, rubbing his hand against her shoulder.

"If you need me for anything, write to me right away. You're never alone in this okay," he whispers into her ear, knowing Cordelia could hear them both if they speak too loud. Winnie squeezes her eyes, nodding her head against his chest. She moves to pull away, but he squeezes her closer, still being mindful of her stomach. "Watch Cordelia, if you suspect anything strange let me know," he lets her go then, smiling softly as she steps back staring up at him with narrowed eyes. She wishes to ask him what he means by that, but before she can, the train whistles loudly and she is moving. Cordelia dragged her to the blonde's cart where she numbly grabbed Athena and Toto. She isn't aware of when Cordelia questions 'what in merlin is that?' towards Toto, instead she is staring down at her feet with a frown on her lips.

Remus words trail in her mind like a loose record, he couldn't possibly think anything is wrong with Cordelia, could he? Maybe Harry spoke to him, maybe the ebony haired boy set a seed in Remus' mind that is now flourished and setting doubt. She would have to question Harry about that later.

"Winnie!" Cordelia's voice snaps her back to earth, her eyes blinking as she looks around. Realizing that they are in an empty compartment, all besides them. Zeus sits beside her in his cage, while Toto rests happily on her shoulder, buried under her hair. "What's wrong with you?" Cordelia questions sharply, causing Winnie to flinch as she looks over at her cousin.

For the first time since they reunited, Winnie really looks at her cousin. Her hair is cut straight like a bob, shaking against her shoulders in soft, maroon strands. Her eyes appear sunken in due to the violet bags sticking out under them, wide and dark, with her cheekbones high and pointed. She shifts in her seat, lifting her hand to scratch at her left arm. Winnie tracks the movement just like Remus had, that itching feeling in her head becoming stronger as she surges forward.

"What's wrong with you?" Winnie questions, reaching forward to grasp Cordelia's left wrist, about to tear up her sleeve just as Cordelia snaps her hand away. A scowl tracing her lips as she narrows her blue eyes, Winnie stares back, narrowing her own eyes as she drops her hands into her lap.

"Don't touch my arm," Cordelia snaps, cradling her arm to her chest as Winnie stares, lips pressed into a line. The air is thick, moving between lies that they both realize they are holding in, and whatever feeling Winnie had about Cordelia being innocent, vanishes like the air. She trusts her cousin, more than anyone else, but she can't deny the feeling of thinking something is wrong. The way she acted as Winnie reached for her arm, only makes her more wary. "It's just a rash, it's rather disgusting really, don't want anyone to see," Cordelia mumbles out after a minute, looking down at her hands with a hardness to her jaw.

'She's lying.'

Winnie nearly jolts at the sudden whisper in her head, her hands clenching together as she stares out the window. She doesn't believe her, she doesn't need the monster in her head to tell her that, and she wants to yell at her, wants to find out the truth. But once again, she finds herself unable to, exhaustion eating away at her bones as she sinks back into her seat. Crossing her legs only to wince as she hits a certain bruise on her thigh, cursing under her breath she uncrosses her legs again slowly. Breathing out from between her lips as she shifts, withholding the urge to hold her hand against her chest. Instead, she bites her lip to hold the pain inside of her.

"What happened to you?" Cordelia asks quietly after a moment, Winnie snaps her gaze to her, seeing Cordelia already staring at her. By the way her eyebrows crease down against her head, and a frown traces her lips, she knows she has watched her entire movements in the past few seconds. Winnie opens her mouth to speak, but finds herself unable to speak any words, leaving her to clamp her mouth shut again.

She knows she needs to tell Cordelia, it wouldn't be fair not to. People already know, and Cordelia was the first person she would've told if she was able to. But yet, sitting here now with the sky turning from a blue to a wary grey, she finds herself surrounded by fear. What would she do? What would she say? All questions she had no answer to, her finger twists her ring, staring down at her hand.

Cordelia's feet move across the cart, coming to sit beside her as she sits sideways, her leg tucked in under the crook of her knee. Winnie's hand freezes when Cordelia's hand comes to rest on top of hers, she wonders if Cordelia can feel how warm she is. Can feel the unnatural heat of her skin, like the sun burning inside of her. So different from the ice box she was the day before, Winnie isn't sure which she prefers.

"I wanted to tell you," Winnie sighs, tugging her hands away and standing up. Wrapping her arms around herself, pressing her palms into the wound on her skin as she chews her lips. She has no idea how to do this, she has never had to tell anyone before. They just knew, it was easy. She could bear the 'I'm sorry', she could bear the guilty looks, but could not bear saying the words herself. Winnie couldn't say what she was, it felt like accepting something she didn't want.

'You're a werewolf, stupid girl. There is no getting away.'

Winnie grits her teeth, raising a hand to press into the middle of her forehead.

'Admit it, and things will get easier.'

She scuffs now, shaking her head with a bitter laugh, she doubts this outcome more than anything else.

'Don't be stubborn, we are together forever.'

"Shut it, shut it," she hisses, hitting the middle of her head with a rolled fist, ignoring the stinging of one of her rings smacking into her head just as Cordelia moves, grabbing her wrist again. Winnie pauses, opening her eyes wide to the concern floating through Cordelia's eyes. And it's too much, it really is too much, she hates it all. She hates feeling like everyone's watching her movements, she hates feeling like she can hardly breathe in her own skin anymore.

Blink and she's seven, hiding away from her father for the first time. Afraid for her life, with her eyes squeezed so tight, she thinks they'll pop back into her skull. She's seven and she starts to cry when she hears his voice, hears the anger radiating out of it all because she stole an extra cookie after dinner.

Blink, and she's twelve and the world is at the palm of her hand. She's twelve and she gets sorted into the lions, she's twelve and her parents decide that they hate her. That she isn't enough.

Blink and she's fourteen. Fourteen and the worst news to ever reach her eyes happened. She's standing in the bleachers, face covered in cliche makeup to support Potter. Popcorn falling to her feet as the world tilts, as she realizes that Voldermort is alive and back.

Blink and she's fifteen, standing in front of the monster who grins at her as if she was a pawn instead of a human. She's fifteen and she's ready to simply give up her life in order to protect Cordelia Flint's heart because that's the only right answer she knows.

Blink, and she's sixteen and now suddenly she is a monster herself. She's standing in front of her cousin, with scars and whispers in her mind that makes her feel like she is drowning in a never ending tunnel of darkness. She's sixteen and she has to tell Cordelia the worst truth she could ever utter, and her cousin is staring at her with such concern and fear that she thinks she may just fall to her knees now and never find the strength to get back up.

She can't utter the words, so she does the next thing.

"I received a letter from Millie a week after we all left Hogwarts," she says as she unties her left shoe, not looking at Cordelia as her leg lifts to rest against the seat. She holds back a wince at the tugging of her bruised muscle, "she asked me to meet her at that old willow tree in the meadow behind the manor, you remember which one?" She questions, glancing over at Cordelia as she tugs off her shoe, throwing the army boot on the floor.

"Uhm, yeah," Cordelia nods, watching the wrap fall to the bottom of her feet as Winnie nods, looking back at the black sock she was wearing. She had a gauge wrapped around her ankle, for the shackles dug so far into her skin the night before her ankle was a bruised, bloody mess that morning. Winnie starts to roll up the pant leg of her trousers ending it half way up her skin where the gauge stops.

"Before I left Hogwarts, I offered her to write to me in case she needed me," she snorted bitterly at this, slowly unhooking the metal clips in the gauge that holds it together. "I snuck out and went. She never showed, but, something did, something showed and now I ... well, look for yourself," she finishes unwrapping the gauge until it stops at her sock. Holding it between shaking fingers as she leans up, exposing the torn area of her ankle. It isn't full of blood or purple, raised skin any longer. The bruised paste and the healing spells that were done on it that morning helped take that away. Instead, her skin was now just a yellowish tint, a few red scraps twist around her ankle. But the teeth marks are what stands out the most, pinkish marks that cover half of her ankle, dug deep and raised like bumps.

She doesn't look at Cordelia, instead she's staring out at the window as it begins to rain, splattering rain drops down against the wide window.

"There's another on my thigh," she admits, patting the side of her upper thigh, right where her wand lays strapped down onto her leg. "It was pretty disgusting, you should've seen it. I looked like a fucking piece of shredded—"

"Stop it!" Cordelia snaps, causing Winnie to snap her gaze over towards her. The hand that was against her thigh fell lifelessly down against her hip as she watched Cordelia turn. For a moment, the blonde feared she would leave the compartment all together, maybe she was being too harsh about it, maybe she should've said the words instead of flashing her marks like it was some sort of present.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shown you. I know it can be a shock," she trailed off as she sunk down onto the compartment seat. Testing the heel of her foot on the fabric of the seat as she started to rewrap the gauge against her ankle. She glances up when she hears the door open, causing her to jump and place her hand over her bruised ankle, only to hear Cordelia say she'll be right back.

Winnie watches, hand pressed into her ankle as the glass door slides shut behind her. Leaving her alone with her aching bones and the sudden realization that she probably made a mistake. She bites down painfully on the inside of her cheek, tearing her eyes away from the door and pressing her forehead into her knee.

'Stupid girl.'

"Shut it. Just shut up for once, I don't bloody care," the girl seethes, squeezing her eyes shut as she digs the curves of her nails into the bruised skin of her ankle. A wince leaves her lips, trailing from the tingles of pain emitting up her leg. Her toes curl in her socks, as her teeth bite down on her knee, holding back the urge to cry or to scream as she continues to dig her nails in. Digs until the pain in her heart is completely covered by the jolts of pain everywhere else.

Uncurling her fingers the girl sighs, lifting her shaking fingers up to wipe at her eyes once again before finishing wrapping up her ankle. Ignoring the sight of tiny beads of blood trickling down her ankle from the crescent moon marks, she simply sniffs, twisting her lip into a thin line. Pretends that she doesn't hear the cackles of the wolf in her head, pretends that she isn't terrified, pretends that she isn't half a monster and simply just a girl.

The door slides back open the same moment Winnie slips back on her shoe, her eyes staying glued to her foot as she ties up her black laces. Fingers working furiously to lace up her shoes as she hears the crickling of plastic and the sounds of someone sighing from across her.

"Here," Cordelia speaks softly, an air of calm surrounding her that makes Winnie lift her gaze to her. She knows her eyes are probably red, and that her lip is probably swollen from the amount of pressure she had placed upon it moments before, but Cordelia doesn't question it. She doesn't question anything, simply holds out a Chocolate Frog in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

The scene is such a sharp sense of déjà vu from last year when Winnie was handing the same items to Cordelia that it actually makes her laugh. A sharp sound ringing out around her ears, ending just as quickly as it came for she sucks in her breath. Hands reaching out to take the items softly as she sinks back into her seat.

"Why?" Winnie questions, clearly her throat as she stares down at the packet. She knows it'll help, eating the chocolate at least. The first time she ever had chocolate after that day, she found herself laughing hysterically. Considering chocolate was fatal towards dogs, and that she was, at least some part dog now.

"It was a full moon last night," that's the only words the girl offers as an explanation, and Winnie doesn't need anymore. For she nods and understands, ripping the packet open with her fingers and breaking off a piece before the frog can jump away. She pops it in her mouth, sighing, as she rests her head back against the wall, eyes floating towards the window where rain continues to fall. "It doesn't change anything, you know," Cordelia speaks louder this time, and when Winnie looks over at her, she finds that her cousin is instead staring out the window. "I don't care if you're a werewolf, you're still Winnie to me. It doesn't change anything," the blonde swallows thickly at the words, her eyes falling to the chocolate in her hands as her throat swells.

"You're still Cordelia," Winnie repeats back, swiping at her eyes as she turns her gaze back towards the window. She doesn't know if Cordelia needs to hear the words or not, but she doesn't look to find out the girl's reaction to it. Instead, she continues to look out at the rain falling from the grey skies above.

As a crack of thunder rolls in over the skies of the train, Winnie wonders if they both truly believe anything they say anymore. Because nobody is who they are, but some are better at hiding than others.

༺♥༻

She picks at her food rather than eats it, her stomach feeling too empty to bare any substance. Really, she just wishes to stumble upstairs and lock herself away in her bed. The sounds had become too much for her now, not used to this huge of a crowd yet, her head is set into overdrive. Banging every time a kid laughs, pounding anytime someone lets their silverware rub too harshly against their plate.

She sits between Hermione and Ginny, her hair over her face like a curtain, left cheek against her hand that lets her fingers stretch out over most of her scars. Nobody speaks much to her, any returning students were silenced with just one irritated gaze from her. She's grateful that she's always been somewhat moody, for nobody questions her sudden harsh bitchiness.

The only thing that gets the slightest bit of emotion from her is when Harry stumbles in still wearing his muggle clothing and having blood running down over his face. She's aware of Hermione questioning him quietly from beside her as he sits across from them, but her eyes have snapped over towards the Slytherin table.

The moment Harry had sat down she had gotten a strong smell of apples, it was all over him, like a sickening apple farm. And with the blood smeared over his face, and Harry's sudden obsession with a certain platinum blond haired male, she knew what had happened — or at least assumed.

Winnie spotted Draco instantly, the boy laughing as he moved his arm in an animated movement. Swinging his closed fist down in the movement of a punch, the girl scowled, jaw locking as she withheld the urge to take out her wand and hex his bleach bottle arse right then and there.

But then her heart started to hammer in her chest, that feeling of being watched crawled over her as her skin itched and heated. Turning her gaze away from the boy, she trailed them down further. Her hazel eyes locked with ones of juniper green, so dark and wide that her breath snagged in her throat. Theo sat dressed in his robes, his tie slightly undone and hanging loosely around his neck. His hair still hung in slightly saggy locks, brushing against his forehead in curly whisks as she stared at him.

Every voice and murmur slowed around her, coming to a quick halt and all she could hear suddenly was the hammering of her own heart. Making her feel once again like she was just a regular girl who didn't hear everyone else's conversations, who couldn't smell them from miles away. She was just a girl staring at a boy who made her heart race and her pupils widen.

Theo lifted his fingers, curling them into a wave as a smile broke out across his face. Dimples peeking out along his skin as she felt her own lips pull up into one, it was only then that she realized he wasn't looking at her scars. He was looking at her, looking at her like he hadn't seen the sun in days and she was the first drop of light in a tunnel of darkness.

It was ironic, considering that's how she felt about his smile. That rare smile that only a few people ever got the chance to see, the smile that made his dimples pop out and his eyes to glow a sea foam green that she yearned for so dearly. It was the type of smile that demanded one to come on everyone else's faces, the one that twisted all her agony away into bliss.

Someone nudged her elbow, making her turn her face to the side as she glanced at Ginny who only apologized. She had been reaching for a dessert and accidentally knocked their elbows together. Brushing it off, Winnie glanced back at Theo, only to find that smile gone. Replaced by a frown she knew all too well, Ginny was on her left side. When she turned her head, her hair moved, exposing the three jagged lines to anyone who glanced. Theo had been looking, and without her face to distract him, he had seen it all.

She snapped her gaze away then, her lips placing into its own frown. He would question her, and once again she wouldn't know how to tell him. Tell him what exactly? That the person he was set to marry, set her up to be killed? Set her up for a life of always being a prisoner to the moon?

The image of him smiling at Millie filtered into her mind, the way he smoothed her hair back the same way he would do to her. The way she kissed the same cheek that Winnie would kiss. The memory was a sharp slice of reality, that no matter how much he healed the infliction, no matter how much her smile, he wasn't hers.

And he deserved to be happy with someone that was his, no matter how much she wished that it was different. So no answers came to her head, there was no way to solve this piece of the puzzle because there were simply no answers. It was something she would have to accept, and telling him was something she could not do.

Even if it killed her on the inside.