Stress ate away at her bones, ticking away each breath and every thought as she tugged the blue ribbon she had wrapped around her ponytail off. O.W.L's had started that morning, meaning she had spent nearly all day pouring over a cauldron and answering questions until she was nearly blue in the face. She had spent the night before pouring restlessly over her books until there was nothing left but the stinging in her eyes and the slight headache that banged through her head.

Her chipped and chewed fingers tied the soft silk of the ribbon around her wrist, the surface of her robes sliding up slightly before she reached up and tickled the pear. Winnie already knew her cousin waited for her inside, they had discussed meeting there after their first exam, and the blonde's stomach fought angrily inside of her at the thought of finally getting food.

"If I have to see another cauldron again before next September it may be too soon," the girl hugged tiredly as she strolled into the kitchens, finding Cordelia already sitting down with her Astronomy book opened in front of her. Their Astronomy exam was the next night, but even the thought of being forced to stay awake until twelve caused her lips to scowl. "Oh please put that away, I don't think I can bare studying anymore until the next one hundred years."

"We have our Transfiguration exam after dinner," Cordelia drawled, a smile tracing her lips as Winnie glared over at her. Taking a seat across from her with her elbows hitting the wood. The blonde glanced over at the tiny house elf who approached her, her scowl disappearing and a smile twisting across her lips. Winnie asked for toast and jam from the elf, who happily clicked her fingers and allowed her order to appear on the table in front of her.

Winnie thanked her softly, before picking up the strawberry jam toast, and biting down hungrily on it. She hummed in delight, closing her eyes as she imagined her stomach thanking the heavens for food.

"When was the last time you ate?" Cordelia questioned, shutting her book with a sigh, cradling her fingers through her brunette locks. Winnie swallowed thickly, ignoring the sting in her throat from doing so too quickly.

"Last night I had an apple, I've been too stressed to eat anything larger than that," Winnie shrugged, taking another bite from her toast as Cordelia clicked her fingers against the cover of her book. Winnie's fingers paused, watching as Cordelia's eyes tilted downwards, eyebrows puzzling and her lips pressed downwards into a frown. "Are you alright?" The blonde questioned softly, laying down her half-eaten bread as she swiped her hands together, getting rid of any crumps. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound was the quiet sounds of the house elves' feet moving against the ground, Winnie reached over, placing her hands on top of Cordelia's. "Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me, you can tell me anything," she spoke encouragingly, squeezing the female's fingers.

Cordelia glanced up, her blue eyes hardened like ice as her jaw locked, ticking and moving as if she was having some deep personal conversation in her head. Like two sides of her heart were a battlefield, fighting and screaming against each other with everything they have. Winnie waited, watching every tick and every problem that itched its way across her face, knowing that sometimes waiting is the best solution.

"I have something to tell you," Cordelia whispered finally, her hands flipping up to wrap around Winnie's wrist. Fingers squeezed tightly as Winnie's eyebrows knitted downwards, her own fingers wrapping around Cordelia's wrist. "I don't know if I should tell you, but I just ... I believe I should. We said we wouldn't keep anything from each other, and I promised I wouldn't anymore," she paused, the braids she placed sparingly against her brown hair shaking as Cordelia dropped her eyes to their hands.

"What is it? You're scaring me, Lia," Winnie chuckled awkwardly, squeezing Cordelia's wrist tighter as her stomach twisted. Her heart ticked faster in her ears, as Cordelia kept her eyes down on their hands. "It can't be that bad," and for a moment, Winnie envisioned that it was her parents, dead, slaughtered for her wrongdoings in front of Voldermort. A cold pit of dread snaked its way into her stomach, she couldn't imagine a worse outcome than that, even if they probably wished for their own death.

"Theo is betrothed to Millie," it was silent for a movement, Winnie's tongue drifting across the back of her teeth as Cordelia watched her intently. Suspension and guilt trickling into her system from Cordelia as the darker brunette dropped Cordelia's hands softly. Her lip twisting into a frown, she hadn't thought of Theo's or her sisters dooming wedding in the past few days, too busy filling her mind with exam answers. Though she already knew, her stomach still dropped painfully as she picked up her piece of toast.

"I already know," she murmured, taking a bite of her toast before pulling Cordelia's Astronomy book towards her, opening it eagerly, wishing for anything that will distract her from the ache in her chest.

"Wait," Cordelia started, pausing as she tugged her textbook back towards her, making the female frown pointedly as she stared daggers at her cousin. Whose lips had fallen open, bewilderment trickling through her skin and onto Winnie, who sighed pitifully. "You know?"

"Yes, my dear. I believe that was what I said," Winnie grumbled, taking a bite out of her toast again, chewing ruefully as her cousin blinked.

"Well... are you okay?" Cordelia questioned slowly, eyebrows knitting together as Winnie froze her chewing. Staring over at her cousin who continued looking at her, blue eyes sparking with concern until suddenly it was the brunette could taste in her mouth. Frowning, the female swallowed thickly, brushing her fingers over her plate to get rid of any crumbs sticking to her fingers before she crossed her arms on top of the table.

Winnie almost considered lying for a moment, an awful habit that was taking far too long for her to shake before she breathed in heavily.

"I don't know," she shrugged, admitting softly. Cordelia's pity seeped into her skin as the female frowned, irritated ever so slightly with her cousin. "Don't pity me, Cordelia, that's ridiculous." She snapped, lips pressed into a line as her cousin straightened, eyes narrowing.

"I am not-" Winnie snapped her eyes over towards her, cutting the girl off with a raised eyebrow as Cordelia huffed, rolling her eyes. "I forgot you could do that, it's annoying."

"Try living with it," the blonde sniffed, a bitter chuckle leaving her lips as she picked up her piece of toast again, tearing off a piece, ignoring the strawberry jam that smeared on the tips of her fingers as she popped the piece in her mouth. Chewing angrily as she narrowed her eyes at a particular indent in the middle of the table beside Cordelia's textbooks.

"Look I'm sorry-" Cordelia paused as Winnie turned her glare over towards her, her cousin's own eyes narrowing. "Hey! Do not get pissed off at me, I'm trying to help you."

"You can't help me with this Cordelia! We both know what happens when you turn away from a betrothal, there's nothing to be done." Winnie argued, swallowing thickly as she ignored the slight stinging in her eyes from the toast that scratched her throat on the way down.

"Who's to say that Theo won't want to do it?" Cordelia asked softly, tilting her head as Winnie looked over at her, her lips pressed into a frown. The youngest Flint sibling watched her carefully, her eyebrow tilting slightly as Winnie's lips threatened to pull into a frown. She knew better than this, the outcome was too severe. Complete isolation from one's family, reputation forever ruined. For while she was disowned by her own family, she wasn't ruined in the eyes of the public.

"Don't say things like that Cordelia, he won't," Winnie shook her head, turning down the idea instantly, even as a selfish burst of hope trickled in her chest. "He'd be ruined," she mumbled, frowning as she stared at the rest of her toast, finding her appetite was no longer buzzing in her bones, she shoved the plate away softly,

"And what if he doesn't care about that?" Cordelia shot back, making the female swallow bitterly as she stood, grabbing the strap to her leather bag. A pit of anger and torment rose in her chest and stomach. Winnie had only just started to come to terms with whatever feelings she may muster towards the brunet, only to be told she couldn't have him even if she did feel something. Except now, she felt her heart surge with bitter hope once more as Cordelia spoke of a future she knew deep down she could not ask for, it would be selfish and immature. Just because she was disowned, it doesn't mean he had to be, he was only the heir of the Nott empire, and he deserved more.

"You're not being funny," she muttered, twisting the silver of her ring against her finger as she looked towards the door. "I'm going to go, maybe study more. Good luck, see you later," she rushed out, giving Cordelia a tiny glimpse of a smile that left her eyes uncrinkled before she pushed her way out of the kitchens. Leaving behind Cordelia Flint, and Winnie's broken heart, she vowed to drop the matter completely. She had better problems to worry about, such as O.W.L's and what she suspected would be an upcoming doom with Harry Potter.

Theo Nott would be the last thing on her mind, she swore it to herself.

Unfortunately, Winnie Bulstrode was never the greatest at keeping promises to herself.

༺♥༻

        Avoidance came as easy as second nature to her, she went through the rest of that evening and the next day with her head buried in a book. Her eyes stinging and her mind shut off with everything besides O.W.L's. She hadn't seen Theo since the day in the kitchens after her flare, though she kept him in her mind every time she practiced late at night to control the stolen emotions of others in her chest. She only centered herself around Cordelia, who had been wise enough not to mention it again. Their arms linked and their heads close together, she had begun to avoid everyone besides her until she could finally put aside school and deal with everything.

And by dealing, she means pretending it isn't there and smiling like everything around her is okay.

Her hair was pulled into a particularly messy bun at the top of her head, wayward strands falling down all day as she walked up the marble staircase with Cordelia beside her at eleven o'clock that night. They had their Astronomy exam that night, meaning they would spend hours mapping the outlook of the sky before shoving in as many hours of sleep as they can.

"We have History of Magic tomorrow morning," Winnie sighed, reaching up and rubbing at her eye with her knuckles as they reached the top of the tower, other fifth years students filtering into the door around them.

"At least it's the last one," Cordelia commented, stifling a yawn as Winnie snorted slightly. Her eyes locked on a spot in the corner of the room where Theo sat. His hair sticking up every which way, deep violet circles sticking out underneath his eyes as he sat by his telescope. Millie sat behind him, ( now fully healed and avoiding her like she was the plague. ) Her hair was done in braids as she tapped on his shoulder, the boy inclined his head to look at her, causing his eyes to meet Winnie's where she stood.

Instantly, the blonde looked away, looking for a free spot instead. Her lips twisted into a line, flashing the image of Theo and Millie in her head every second. Blindly, she took a seat on the opposite side of the room, slumping down in her seat and huffing loudly. She just had to get through this exam and then she would be free to sleep and be as far away from Theo and her sister as she could. It wasn't that she was infuriated with the male, just the sight of him and her sister was something she could live without.

"If you're going to sit there, kindly keep your mouth shut Bulstrode," a snarky voice twisted through her ears as she squeezed her eyes shut, she recognized the voice as Draco Malfoy, with his upturned nose and infuriating need to be an arse.

"If you're gonna sit there Malfoy, kindly mind your own damn business," she snapped, opening her eyes and tilting her head to the side to look over at the blond. Who rolled his eyes, shifting in his chair as she turned, looking down at the turned-over exam paper and quill that rested next to the bottle of ink on her desk.

"I see Nott has finally picked, maybe he has some dignity left, after you being a blood traitor and all," Draco drawled as she ran her tongue over the length of her teeth, locking her jaw and breathing heavily out through her nose. She glanced over at him, watching the haughty arse twirl his quill between his fingers, smirking with pleasure as she debated reaching over and strangling him.

"Rather be a blood traitor than a stuck-up piece of pure blood twat like you," she argued, sniffing as she lifted her chin higher. Pointedly ignoring the diss at Theo, who was far better than the blond prat ever would be, she wouldn't discuss him with someone like Draco. The Slytherin Prefect glanced over at her, his eyes narrowing and eyebrows pulling against his head. "Oh, what are you going to do? Go and cry to your daddy? Please, by all means, do." She snapped, before turning and facing the front, ignoring his heated glare upon the side of her head.

Her eyes moved around the room, looking for her missing cousin, only to find her several seats down upon the curve of the tower sitting next to Hermione. Sighing, Winnie sat up straight in her seat, picking up her quill at the same time Professor Marchbanks gave the word to start. Instantly, she flipped open the paper, tucking the uninked quill in her hair and shifting to the edge of her chair and wrapping her hands to weigh her telescope.

Eventually, an hour passed, with her wrist arching and her paper filled with placements of planets and equations. She blew out a puff of air from her lips, trying to blow away a strand of hair that flew in front of her face. Her fingers held onto the edges of her paper as she revised the drawn constellation of Orion on her parchment. Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth and her eyebrows were drawn downwards.

Suddenly a deep roar from the night shocked it's way up to the tower, causing her to jump and drop her paper as she looked up, bewildered. Several other students jumped up, eyes peering down into the night. Copying them, Winnie inched up higher on her seat, fingers wrapping around her telescope and directing it downwards towards the noise. Finding it located towards the light-up contents of Hagrid's cabin.

"Try and concentrate now boys and girls," Professor Tofty spoke up, trying to get his reign back on the startled students. Winnie pressed her lips into a line, shaking her head and sitting back down in her seat, picking up her piece of paper once more. "Ahem — twenty minutes to go," he added, as Winnie breathed out heavily through her nose, flipping over her parchment to reread her answers again.

A loud bang radiated from the grounds, causing her once again to jump as several people yelped 'ouch.' Winnie, long forgetting her exam, reached up and looked through her telescope once again. Seeing the door to Hagrid's hut burst open, he was a massive figure in the glowing lights. His fists were going everywhere and wild, roaring as he was surrounded by six people. She watched closely transfixed as people were shooting spells at him by the looks of the red light they were casting in his direction.

Winnie watched, in shock as jets of red light continued to fly about beside Hagrid's cabin. Yet somehow, they all seemed to bounce off of him, leaving him untouched. Cries and yells echoed off the grounds and towards the watching students above. "Be reasonable, Hagrid!"

"Reasonable be damned, yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish." Winnie's nose wrinkled from beyond her grip on the telescope, she knew who Dawlish was from her father. He was an honourable auror, at least she had thought so until this moment.

Winnie watched as Hagrid's dog yelped around him, trying to guard him against the spells, until one snapped against him. She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as one still held on to the telescope, horrified as the dog fell limp, stunned to the ground. They actually stunned a dog! Hagrid gave a great roar, lifting the man who stunned his dog up from the ground and threw him. The man flew through the air, whisking away and fell with a great thump through the night, never getting up again. Winnie's hand stayed glued to her mouth, horrified.

Out of the corner of her eye, a glimpse of light trickled in from the castle's doors. Abandoning her exam, she stood, leaning over the parapet just as Draco did. Their shoulders knocked together, but neither seemed in the mood to tell the other off at that moment, both too transfixed by the events happening around them.

"Now really," Professor Tofty shouted, bothered by everyone around him. "Only sixteen minutes left, you know!"

Winnie paid him little to no attention, fingers gripping the edge of the parapet tightly as she watched the figure run towards Hagrid's hut. "How dare you!" The figure geller, their voice carrying up sharp and distraught through the night, "how dare you!"

"Is that McGonagall?" Draco questioned, half in wonder and fear as Winnie shifted on her feet, her shoulder knocking against the boys as she nodded. Realizing he was right, that was in fact her head of house running through the dark.

"Leave him alone! Alone, I say!" Professor McGonagall's voice screamed through the darkness as Winnie watched, her chest pressing into the rail. "On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such—"

A scream filtered through Winnie's lips as both hands flew to her mouth, all figures around the cabin had shot four stunners at her as she ran towards them. Halfway between the cabin and the castle, all red beams collided with her. Winnie watched, horrified as for a moment she looked as if she was glowing an eerie red, then she lifted straight off her feet and landed hard on her back. The blonde pressed her ribcage into the railing, willing her head of house to move, but no movement came any longer.

"Galloping gargoyles!" Shouted Professor Tofty, who seemed to forget all about the exam as well. "Not so much as a warning, outrageous behaviour!"

"Cowards," bellowed Hagrid, his voice high and full of anger that it pierced through her ears from up in the tower. "Ruddy cowards! Have some o' that — an that—'' Winnie watched wide-eyed as he took two massive swipes at his closest attackers, knocking them out cold as they collapsed to the ground. She watched as he crouched down, only to shut up again with his stunned dog on his back.

"Get him, get him!" Winnie recognized Umbridge's voice, even from up here. Feeling exactly like she should've known that she was behind all of this, it was exactly the type of dirty, second-handed act she would do. Winnie watched, with her fingers falling to the railing as Hagrid turned and ran deep into the Forbidden Forest, disappearing into the night as Umbridge continued to yell for the remaining aurors to get him, though neither seemed willing enough to do so.

Silence filtered around them after that, ticking away at the brains as Winnie stared down at the spot on the grounds where she knew a knocked-out McGonagall lay. Pressing her lips into a line, she glanced at the blond beside her, who was staring deep into the woods with his eyebrows drawn. Realizing that her shoulder was still pressed against Draco's she scowled, turning and bumping her shoulder against his as she returned to her seat.

Revising her exam was the last thing on her mind now, instead, thinking about everything that she just witnessed. The blonde tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears, blindly passing in her exam before she filtered downstairs where everyone had stopped and started whispering about what happened. Each forgetting that it was nearly one am and that their bodies sagged with exhaustion. Pausing, on the last step, she glanced around with her cousin, wanting to talk to her about the events just as someone grabbed her wrist. Pulling her away from the crowd of students, a hand clasped around her mouth as she opened it to yell at whoever dragged her away.

Cinnamon.

The smell drifted around her nose and she instantly knew who had taken her. Her heart dropped to the edge of her stomach, forming and lumping in her throat as she was shoved into an empty classroom. Instantly, she ripped her wrist from his hold, stepping away from him and swallowing harshly. Her eyes filtered into a glare, breathing in deeply through her nostrils as she turned to look at Theo. The male stood in front of her, his lips pulled into a frown with deep green eyes filtering in towards her from the dimly lit candles that floated on the walls.

"Look Winnie I—"

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" She snapped, staring up at him with glowering eyes as the male frowned. "Well?" Winnie questioned, eyebrow raising as she threw her hands up in the air. "There must be some reason you took me from the hall like a heathen!"

"I wanted to talk to you, we haven't spoken since, well," he paused, letting the air around them swirl with lost memories of the kitchen. Winnie felt her shoulders sag, glowering only for a moment longer before she breathed out heavily.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've just been," she paused, waving her hand in the air as she frowned. "My Mother sent me a box with, well, my Grandfather's letters, and uh well," she paused, biting on the inside of her cheek as Theo's eyes watched her intently. Never blinking or missing a beat, and perhaps it was the lack of sleep, the lack of stability of emotions seeping from his chest but she suddenly felt defeated. Her eyes lose all its spark, because even without his emotions, he watches her like she is his own personal story unraveling in front of him. Like everything she does is important, even simply breathing is a miracle.

She feels her eyes sting as she wrinkles her nose, running a tired hand down her face as she swots at the liquid under her eye.

"Winnie-"

"No, don't," her words came out perhaps harsher than she intended, but suddenly everything was far too much for her to handle. Theo was meant to be married to her sister, Millie should be on the receiving end of these looks, not her. "You have to stop looking at me like that," she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut in the dimmed light.

"I don't-" she sighed, cutting him off with a bitter, watery laugh as she peered over at him. His eyebrows furrowed downwards as she pressed her lips into a sad smile, Winnie stepped forward, reaching up and placing her hand against his chest, right over his heart that hitched slightly as her palm rested upon it. Heat from his chest pooled into her hand, warming it as she smiled heartbrokenly up at him.

"Theo, you're marrying my sister," she whispered, watching the way his eyebrows knitted together further. "You... you can't be looking at me that way, and I know you know what I am talking about," his hand came up to wrap around her wrist, holding her hand to his chest as she frowned. "You have to look at her that way, you ... you have to have lots of babies and make her really happy, because there isn't a way out of this and I may bloody well hate my sister, but I will not have her in a loveless marriage where you love," she paused, pressing her lips into a line, Winnie pulled her hand away, rubbing her thumb against the wrist he once held.

"What if there is another way?" Winnie almost didn't hear him, the words were mumbled so quietly they were almost incoherent, but she heard them. Her eyes squeezed shut, her forehead coming to rest upon the wooden door, and it would be so easy to utter those words. She could practically taste them, to tell him to leave and love her instead.

But they are sixteen, and she isn't selfish enough to doom him into a life where he has nothing. His father would kill him, she was sure of it, and that was something Winnie could not live with. So she swallowed those sweet words she wished to speak, and spoke bitter ones that burned her heart right to its core.

"There isn't," and then she opened the door and left him there in the empty classroom by himself. Feeling like she left her heart behind rather than a person who wormed his way into her life, she swore she would try to go back to hating him.

Winnie knew that was a wish better said than done, however, and there was nothing left for her to do but bare the broken heart and continue on with her life like she always had because nothing was meant to be hers, not even him.

༺♥༻

Their final exam came to her the next morning with no hours of sleep, she had returned to the common room and spent the rest of the night staring blankly at the top of her ceiling.

There was a constant loop of agony swimming around in her heart that made her regret every word she spoke to him, but there was a better part of her, a much stronger part of her that felt like it was for the best rather than the worse. This way he could not resent her years later, when he had nothing and lost everything.

Winnie's eyes stung as the air around her pushed into her eyes, sucking out the water in them as she debated if she should have grabbed coffee earlier that morning. Instead, she now sat with her back pressed against a wooden chair in the Great Hall. Rows after rows of desks sat lined throughout the hall, four each lined up according to their houses. Winnie had found her sitting right in front of Neville and behind Hermione. The girl had once again thrown her hair into a bun at the top of her head, not having nearly enough energy to card a brush through it that morning.

"Turn over your papers," Professor Marchbanks called out from his place in the front of the room. Winnie sighed, sitting up on her desk and picking up her quill. Flipping over the paper, she rubbed at her eyebrows, wishing this was already over so she could go find some chocolate and something to ache the headache in her head.

'In your opinion, did wand legislation contribute to, or lead to a better control of, goblin riots of the eighteenth century?'

Winnie drawled her bottom lip between her teeth, dipping her quill into the ink bottle. Crossing her feet together under her chair, she pressed her quill against the parchment, releasing every thought that came to her mind onto the paper.

Time passed quickly for her, and before she knew it, she was quickly answering the last question. Pausing, she twisted her aching wrist into a circle, eyes blinking as she reread her answer on the parchment. Just as a loud scream filtered through the room, startled, she dropped her quill, knocking some ink onto her exam paper. Cursing under her breath, she swore she would murder whoever screamed, twisting in her seat, ears piercing as the person continued to scream. Her eyes sought out the person further down her line in her row.

However, all anger left her system and was replaced with concern, as her eyes landed on the person who had fallen to the floor.

There, several seats down from her own, laid Harry Potter, clenching his hands to his scar on his forehead.