𝕳er hair frizzed like static at the top of her head, loose from the plaits she had fastened in her light locks that morning. She had spent an hour at the braids only for them to be ruined from the heat of a cauldron. It certainly didn't help her case that Zacharias Smith had blown up his cauldron. ( She didn't know who told Snape about the drama circling her and the git, but she sure as Godric's bloody arse didn't find it funny when Snape placed Zacharias next to her. It certainly didn't help that Snape had looked at her wide-gaped mouth with a hint of a smirk as if he knew the drama. )

          The female almost landed her another detention — she was now positively used to the pain of Umbitch's quill, and she was near as positive that it wasn't a good thing — when Zacharias' bumped into her arm and caused her to drop one too many aconites into her Babbling Beverage. Luckily, Lavender had managed to drag her away at the last minute.

           That didn't stop her from glaring at the blond git as she sat and ate her bacon sandwich rather angrily.

          "Stop it! He's gonna think you're gonna kill him," Lavender hissed as she slapped Winnie against her school robes, the female snorting as she shoved the last piece of her sandwich in her mouth.

         "Thwt's he patient," Winnie spoke, her words muffled by the food she was chewing as she picked up her glass of water. Parvati wrinkled her nose in disgust at Winnie's lack of manners. The girl had ways quite well. She just didn't care. Winnie took a gulp of her water, swallowing the contents in her mouth before speaking again, "That's the point."

         "I'd rather not take a trip to the Ministry to defend you," Lavender drawled as she shoved her empty plate away.

         "If you think that'll stop me, you're wrong," she grinned, tugging the bobble off the end of her braid before spreading the braided pieces. Her fingers caught on a tangled knot in her hair as she grumbled, winching in pain as she tugged too hard.

          "For someone raised in a strict wizard's home, you do so many things that could be easily solved with magic," Parvati observed as she rested her chin on her hand, Winnie pausing her movements as she looked at the girl.

        "Yeah, well, I'd rather not depend on magic, thanks," she frowned, taking out her wand and muttering a detangling spell. Letting her hair fall free against her shoulders, still frizzy from the two hours in the dungeons.

          "What do we have next?" Lavender questioned as she read over her DADA essay due the next day, Winnie making a mental note to check hers in the library.

        "Herbology," Winnie replied as she pulled her hair into a high ponytail on the top of her head, ignoring the strands she missed that lay framing her head.

        "Oh, Merlin," Parvati grumbled from beside the blonde, her eyes rolling toward the back of her head. "I hate that class! We're supposed to be starting on a new plant with partners," the female pouted as Winnie grinned. She didn't mind Herbology much. She found the class relatively easy and straightforward.

           Winnie opened her mouth to speak just as a vast Tawny owl swooped down before her, the girl pausing as she stared at her family owl. The female's lips pulled into a line, feeling her heart shudder in her chest at the unknowing of what her parents could require her to do now. A letter was tied to her leg as she hooted, dipping her peak into Winnie's glass of water. Flipping it over just as she saw the words 'Millicent' written in straight black ink. She paused, her fingers touching the folded envelope as the owl swooped down and clicked her beak over her finger.

           "Ow!" The girl hissed as she placed her now bleeding finger in her mouth, brown eyes glaring at the Tawny Owl, who hooted at her, displeased at not being thanked. "You gave it to the wrong sister, here," the girl added, reaching for the owl as it flew away. Winnie watched with her mouth falling open as the owl flew in circles above them before flying out of the open window. "You have got to be joking right now," the girl spoke in disbelief as she blinked, her eyes looking down at the note.

             "Weird, owls never do that," Lavender spoke after a moment, tilting her head just as Winnie stood, snorting and shaking her head.

         "Yeah, well, the family owl likes to torture me too. Time to go find the dying chicken!" The female placed a false smile on her face, swinging her bag over her shoulder. Her eyes scanned the Slytherin table, seeing it empty for the better part, and with her incredible luck, her sister was nowhere to be seen. She huffed loudly, blowing a loose strand of hair away from her face before she exited the Great Hall. Deciding to instead wait for her sister at the Greenhouse, her hand wrapped around the now crushed note — she didn't read it, nor cared much that it was crumbled.

         The late November air whisked around her as she stepped outside, her nose twinkling with the chill as her feet stepped onto fallen leaves. Crunching following her, she ignored the cold, pulling out her wand with her free hand to cast a warming spell over her. Grateful for it when it instantly dropped her in a pool of warmth, her ponytail swinging slightly behind her.

        It wasn't long before she saw an all too familiar head of curled blonde hair, a much lighter tint compared to the crown upon Winnie's. She watched with narrowed eyes as her sister laughed, blue eyes wide and watching Tracey, Daphne and Pansy, who all stood around her. Unlike the last time Winnie's eyes landed on Daphne Greengrass, the blonde didn't look at her with hate. Cordelia has told Winnie all about the fact that Zacharias had lied to Daphne. Fooling the girl into believing Cordelia had cheated on Zacharias with Draco Malfoy. — out of all the people in the world — She even smiled when Daphne noticed her approaching. The rest of the girls, however, received a perfectly practical scowl.

             "What the hell are you doing?" Millicent questioned sharply, her head raising to jut with her chin high. Her eyes were as bitter cold as the ice tint they shined. Winnie couldn't help but think her sister was the perfect representation of an ice princess. Her hair was tucked in wide ringlets, nearly platinum, as they fell around her Slytherin robes. Eyes narrowed, and red-painted lips titled into a disapproving scowl. All the while, she stared at her as if she was the dirt she walked on, and walked on, she did. "Nobody wants you here, blood traitor," she spat as Winnie rolled her eyes.

           "Don't get your knickers in a twist, dear sister," Winnie drawled as the corner of her lips tilted into a scowl. Standing tall and straight, her added height allowed her to tower over the more petite girl. If her sister was the ice princess, Winnie was believed to be the fire. Her hair was coloured like honey, with narrowed hazel eyes flickering darker as disgust filled them. "Just delivering mail from our lovely parents," she placed a sickening smile across her features, holding out the letter and shoving it into her sister's chest.

           "You crumpled it," Millicent observed, her lips pulled into a line as she tried to straighten it.

            "Did I? I had no idea," the girl drawled, rolling her eyes as she held up a hand to shade her eyes from the sun fluttering out from beneath clouds.

           "Why did this come to you? What the hell did you—" Millicent cut off as Winnie broke into a loud laugh, her head falling back as the sound boomed around them. A sound rang in their eyes, drawing hairs to stand on their necks. As a child, Millicent grew accustomed to the laughter of her sister. She rose to understand the difference between real and false; right now, they were greeted with wrong.

            "It's always my fault, isn't it, Millicent?" Winnie spat as her laughter faded as quickly as it came. Her eyes were slitted into lines as they blew dark like chocolate. She stepped forward slightly, stopping as Pansy stepped closer to Millie. Winnie snapped her head towards the raven-haired girl, who flared defensively down at her. "Funny, still can't fight your battles by yourself. Seems nothing changes," the girl scoffed, stepping back as she crossed her arms over her chest, "it was the bloody owl, if you must know."

           "I've been telling my mother to get rid of that bloody animal. She doesn't know the difference between mud and not," Millie scoffed as Winnie smirked, her head tilting to the side. She watched as her sister shrugged off her friends, Pansy glaring at the blonde as she walked away, Winnie responding with only a wink.

           "She must think you're the mud then if she came to me," Winnie grinned, throwing her ponytail over her shoulder as Millicent stepped forward, Winnie's hand falling to her wand. Millie stepped quickly back, her eyes narrowing as she glared at her older sister.

           "What would Mother say? So much violence this year Millicent, so disappointing," the girl frowned, jutting out her bottom lip as her sister lowered her hand, nostrils flaring slightly.

               "Can't ever be as disappointing as you, though, now can I?" Millicent spat, her lips tilting to grin as she straightened her stance. "Being friends with mudblood, I hear you're also buddy-buddy with Saint Potter. You are Gonna try to stop the great war now, are you? I would be careful if I was you. Let's not forget about our dear cousin Max, and our grandfather, which could be worse for you. Mother and Father have plans, and we wouldn't want that to be ruined." Winnie's face fell like broken glass as her eyebrows furrowed, watching the smirk that washed across her sister's face. Millicent clicked the top of her tongue against the roof of her mouth. The bell signalling the start of class, rang around them as her sister turned to head toward the Greenhouse. Winnie surged forward, grabbing her sister's wrist and pulling.

        "Millicent, what the fuck does that mean?" Winnie seethed, her head close to her sisters as she noticed Cordelia walk with Theo, Cordelia's eyebrow-raising, but then the female couldn't do anything to reassure her cousin. Her eyes were blown wide, her heart thumping in her chest. "What do they have planned?" Millicent watched with wide eyes, looking over her sister's face before she pulled her wrist away sharply.

          "Why, the only plan that's there," Millicent answered quickly, her lips tilting into a slight smirk as she reached forward to tap her sister's cheek, her nail scratching her cheekbone before she pulled her hand away. Winnie ignored the little pain that twinkled through her face, her eyes watching the tilt of her head. Winnie's magic reached out, feeling the bidding pride and self-righteous emotions tickle her soul. Winnie's heart grew cold, frozen with the feeling of her sister's happiness falling over her shoulders. "The world will be changed. Time for you to change as well."

           Millicent twirled then on her heel, making her way down towards the Greenhouse as Winnie stood still, her skin covered in goosebumps despite the warming spell she had set over herself moments before. The wind swirled around her, the smell of pumpkins filling her senses as she blinked, her head turning as Hermione came up beside her.

        "Are you alright?" The female questioned, her voice filling like muffled water as Winnie blinked, fear stunning her as her sister's worlds twirled around her. There were only a few things her parents could be planning, and none of them was an outlook she wanted to take. The girl swallowed thickly, her fingers moving to clasp around Hermione's as she nodded, letting a smile turn on her face. The two girls moved into the Greenhouse, taking seats while Winnie's eyes shifted toward her sisters. Watching as Millicent whispered to her friends, laughter pooled out of her.

         Winnie's world tilted slightly as she was slapped with a strong realization, her hands gripping her robes tighter as she stared at the wooden desk she sat at in the Greenhouse. The world was changing, but she would not change with it.

            Winnie Bulstrode only hoped she would make it out alive.

༺♥༻

              𝖂innie was cheerful and the world was fucking with her. Her teeth chewed nervously at the beds of her nails. It was ironic how she was raised to be proper, her nails to be primed and shined. Now, she sat chewing on her nails, tearing and ruining her pale skin as dots of crimson pooled in her mouth. Her leg bounced as she sat staring emptily at the table in the library, she could faintly hear the sound of snow hitting the wide window from beside her, but everything else vanished around her.

          Herbology had swirled by in a blur of white and whispered words in her head. All that stood out had Professor Sprout pairing her with Theodore Nott for their project. While she and he had seemed to mould back into a routine of him flirting and her yelling at him, not even he dared to flirt a single word with her as she jumped out of her chair. Muttering that she would bring notes next class before she vanished without another word to anyone.

        The world laughed at her, and her parents pulled the strings.

         She wasn't exactly sure that it was the answer. In retrospect, she should've seen it coming. Her sister could've been pulling her strings simply to get a rise out of her. It wouldn't be the first. Millicent had come up to her in the middle of their third year to tell her she had seen Sirius Black beside the Forbidden Forest. Tears streamed down her face, and for a reason, not even Winnie could say she believed her. Millie insisted on going to the Headmaster to tell him, and they did. Only for Winnie to be made out as a fool and Millicent to innocently shrug and say, ' I don't know what she means, sir.'

          Winnie Bulstrode felt rage anytime she heard Sirius Blacks' name then, for not only being a raging murderer ( that the Ministry still hasn't caught, which is slightly concerning ) but for being the reason people whispered that she was loony in the head during their third year.

          Winnie Bulstrode knew two things before the start of the day. One) Her grandfather had died of natural causes, old age giving away to his constant drinking and sputtering. Two) Max Flint had been killed in a freak accident, an accident in which she had tried to ask Cordelia about once but ended up with nothing but a shutdown cousin and no answers.

        She was pretty sure both of those things had been true, but her sister's words tumbled around her mind like a ball. Hitting off every surface and forever following her, her skin crawled, and her mind worked a mile a minute. Suddenly, she found herself not being so sure about their deaths.

         'let's not forget that our dear cousin Max and our grandfather could be worse for you.'

         Copper twinged upon her tongue, her teeth ripping apart the skin around her nails. Drops twirling and sharps of pain went down her left hand, mixing with the silver ring on her finger. No, she was pretty sure she wasn't sure of anything anymore. She remembered how her cousin had built herself up like a brick wall when asked about Max, her eyes turning cold and her jaw clenched as she answered in blunt words. At the time, Winnie brushes it off as harsh feelings and grief for the death of Max, but now? Now it felt like more, and for a moment, Winnie wondered how much she didn't know about her family.

        Added to her grandfather's death, the male she hadn't thought of for years. The male who passed on his own heirloom to her, the silver ring on her finger that was rightfully her mother's but worn upon her finger instead. She hadn't questioned his death. Once again, Winnie brushed it off at the time, not wanting to speak more about it in the walls of her Manor.

        Winnie wished she had now.

        Red strings pulled into the corks, running in different directions inside her brain. Overlapping and crossing each other with no middle answers, just blurred images and words that she could no longer see. Winnie Bulstrode couldn't see the bigger picture, yet she felt it had something to do with a tyrant raised from the dead once more.

        'Mother and Father have plans, wouldn't want that ruined.'

         Plans. A future she had no idea of, a future she thought she had been written out of, and yet, there were plans. Her leg started to bounce more berserkly as her fingers fell from her lips, blood drawing from the open wounds, and a heavy sigh left the available surface of her lips.

         It was him. She knew it. She could feel it inside of her. Growing colder with red sheering eyes, she could feel it in the way she touched him when she saw Harry's scar for the first time. She could feel how she saw her parents' dark marks for the first time as a child, grey and flawed with Dark Magic. It buzzed in her fingers, and her teeth clattered together as she raised her other hand to her mouth.

         "Oh! Winnie, there you are. I was wondering if we could go over our study guides. I know— are you okay?" Hermione Granger came to a sudden halt, her arms holding a brightly coloured phablet with flashcards between her arms. Her eyes grew wide as she quickly rushed over, dropping her belongings on the table as she pulled a chair beside the blonde. "Oh, Merlin, what happened?"

        "Nothing, I'm fine," Winnie spoke defensively as she wrapped her fingers into a fist, trying to hide the open wounds she now tore open. Unfortunately, Hermione missed almost nothing due to her being friends with Harry and Ron for so long. Winnie opened her hands but turned her eyes towards the window. Her hands moved out to grasp her wrist, pulling Winnie's hands towards her as she narrowed her brown eyes at the blonde, sighing.

       "Winifred Bulstrode, don't lie to me. You're clearly not fine. Biting your nails is clearly a sign of," Winnie drowned Hermione's words out as she snapped her hands back, her eyes narrowing slightly as she turned back towards the Gryffindor.

        "Don't call me Winifred, Hermione Jean Granger," the girl snapped as the brunette beside her blinked momentarily, her mouth falling open as Winnie's leg bounced again.

       "How do you know my full name?" Hermione questioned as she sat straighter. Winnie's mouth fell open slightly, surprised before she managed to tilt her lips to a grin for a moment.

       "It was in your notes last year," Winnie shrugged, looking away as she leaned back in her chair, her eyes turning to the falling snow again.

       "Well, whatever, what's wrong?" Hermione questioned again more sternly, strangely reminding Winnie of a mother speaking to her child. She almost chuckled at that. She had often seen Hermione with Harry and Ron but never with her. She opened her mouth to tell her nothing once more but stopped when the brunette glared. "Don't you lie? I won't leave until you tell me the truth. Now tell me what happened at Herbology. I saw you speaking to your sister."

         Winnie held back a bitter reply of stubbornness as her eyes flickered toward the female beside her. She wondered briefly if she could trust her, then realized it was a silly notion. Trust, that is. What really was trust? A simple phrase built upon friends and people, putting your faith in someone, and they almost always betray it. Her family crossed it for the greater good, and ultimately the greater good landed them in a tyrant's hands. She wasn't quite sure they knew what the greater good meant.

        But trust?

         Winnie Bulstrode caught herself around far too many people than usual these days, all of which went against her rule of 'no friends,' it made her throat clogged with boulders, and her heart beat heavily against her chest. In the end, Hermione's furious, stern gaze won against Winnie's empty ones, and the blonde turned her head away and back towards the window.

        "You're doing it again," Winnie didn't need to turn to gaze at the girl to guess what it was. It was an action she did more than she would admit, push, distance, and act like nothing bothered her. "It's a wonder you weren't in Slytherin. You would make a good one." It failed remarkably if it was meant to make the girl flinch or feel guilty. She already knew that. She supposed it was why she excelled for so many years and managed to stay above the water. But the water was slowly growing deeper, her chest caving in and growing heavier each day that passed. It was only a matter of time before she would slip.

          Hermione didn't say anything else. Winnie needed to be made aware of how much time had passed. Nor was she aware of the brunette girl staring holes into the side of her head. Waiting, not moving in the emptiness of the library, giving the blonde time she didn't ask for.

         The white against the bright glare of the sun shined thinly on the two girls, the sun slowly moving down over the trees as evening set in. The falling snow created patterns against the wide glass, and the blonde's eyes watched the delicate snowflakes fall, whirling in the wind. It reminded Winnie of when she was a child.

         Cordelia had spent the night at the Bulstrode manor. She had been six years old when she was first allowed to play freely in the snow. Back before she was exiled, since before, their families became more bitter and less warm. Cordelia, Millicent and herself had spent nearly all day out in the fields, rolling snow into balls and creating snowmen. Her father had come out at one point and enchanted them to dance. Winnie could say it was the last time she laughed so hard. Their cheeks and noses flushed red, and their fingers numb without care. They had spent that night wrapped in blankets by the fire, hot cocoa in their hands as they giggled and talked the night away before falling asleep together under the fire. All three girls were at peace with their world, unknown of the horrors and distance they would encounter.

          Winnie shuddered softly, a tear running down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away before her hand moved to her mouth, her blood pounding in her ears as copper tinged in her mouth. Winnie suspected her hand would be a sour sight, all torn with new wounds from her teeth and red words sprawled across her hand.

         Eventually, her eyes turned back to Hermione, who was sitting with her back against the chair. Flashcards were in her hand as she mumbled, rereading the words sprawled across the cards. The blonde expected her to leave at some point. In reality, she really shouldn't be surprised by Hermione's actions. Winnie has stayed with the girl over the years as she cried and ranted rather angrily over school or her friends.

          It seemed as if Winnie Buldstrode kept expecting the worst of people.

           "He's coming to my home," she finally spoke, her voice cracking slightly as she turned her eyes onto the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a Hermione freeze, her hands in the middle of pulling out a new card from behind the stack.

          "Who?" Hermione's voice was a whisper, shaken, and her eyes stared at the blonde warily. Winnie found herself being able to snort slightly, tugging on the loose strands of her hair as she sighed.

         "Who else could there be?" She spoke bitterly, her lips quivering upwards as she turned her eyes to the girl. "He's coming, and I'm afraid I won't have a choice." Hermione had dropped her cards then, her hands moving towards Winnie's free one and wrapping them together. It was an action the girl saw her do towards Harry and Ron in the past. Whenever there was a sign of terror, comfort in touch seemed to help the Gryffindors. Winnie couldn't say the same for herself despite being in their house. Her body tensed as she stared at the hand wrapped around her own. Hermione didn't seem to notice, or she just didn't care.

        "There has to be a choice, Winnie... are you positive?" Hermione trailed off, staring at her with wide brown eyes that made the blonde wish she could smile and pretend it was all a joke. She wasn't sure, but she felt it inside of her. She felt the truth, and that was good enough.

        "There is a choice, yes," Winnie paused as she turned to stare at a book behind Hermione's shoulder. Her free hand clenched into a fist that caused the words written across them to pull, unsealed and left unhealed properly from the continued torture with the quill. "I could choose to die," she whispered softly as she felt Hermione's hand wrap around her tighter. Before she knew it, the Gryffindor had her arms around her, hugging her so furiously that it left Winnie stunned. For a moment, she wondered when she had ever been hugged with so much emotion and she found herself feeling hollow when she realized she hadn't.

          She didn't know when Hermione started crying, and she felt her eyes swell slightly. But she furiously blinked it down, wrapping her arms around the girl and hugging her girl. It was no use in crying over a fact that was true. If she disagreed with the plan, she would be as good as dead if she didn't be the obedient daughter she failed to be. Millicent had hinted at it enough to leave with a smirk across her sister's face.

         "It won't come to that. We'll figure out something, Winnie, I promise," Hermione spoke sternly, pulling away as she wiped at her now flushed cheeks. Winnie's lips pursed into a line, her head shaking as she opened her mouth to decline. "No, we will. If what you say is true, then this is war, and it's starting. You aren't going to die because of it."

         "People will die, Hermione," Winnie's voice came out as a tired sigh, her back hitting the chair she sat in as Hermione's lips pulled into a line. It was the truth at the end of the day, a war was coming, and people would die because of it. Good people with futures, and families, good people who spent their lives making others happy.

         "Yes, they will," Hermione answered thickly, her eyes on the cards splashed across the table. Winnie watched as the seconds ticked by, her finger twisting the silver ring on her finger. "But that doesn't mean we can't do everything we can to stop it. Nothing will happen to you," the brunette added more sternly. Her eyes caught Winnie's as the female sat up straighter, and for the first time in a while, Winnie decided to trust someone other than herself.

          She only hoped that trust would be worth it.

  EDITED APRIL 17TH, 2023 /// editing these earlier chapters makes me realize how simple things were here before i got older and changed everything. enjoy it :)