The beginning of the end is near.

Winnie Buldstrode can feel the air tighten, shimmer with antispacated breathes. It's almost as if the earth she steps on can feel the awakening of something disastrous.

The blonde remembers how quickly it is to ease into fear in those peculiar moments. It is so easy to hug fear, as it curls it's suffocating arms and tugs her down. Squeezes her until her bones are fragile and her heart quickens with blood pounding in her ears. It is far easier to confide in fear, like an old foe you pass along the street. It feels comforting despite the bitter lump in her throat and the tears that sting her hazel eyes.

Fear follows her like a shadow, awaiting it's time to strike.

Winnie can feel it now, as the world spins around her. The early spring sun is sinking beneath the sprouting trees. It is warm on her neck, but chilled to the long sleeves of her black shirt. She had left her hair pulled back against the base of her skull, a blue ribbon that is both hurtful and comforting to touch, ties it together. The scars on her face is bare, disagreeable to most and a painful reminder to her. She had avoided mirrors like the dragon pox that day, yet, she didn't need to take a glimpse upon her face to know she is pale like snow, sickly as her eyes stare wordlessly at a frequently worried Hermione and Ron.

Winnie stands alone, detached from. The duo who are whispering their own words towards each other. They are not intentionally leaving her out, in fact, if she lifted her foot from the yellowed grass she is stepping upon, she will be engulfed into their light, into their warmth.

Their reasoning for being so distraught leaves her alone, leaves her trapped with fear and a sickening urge to yurl into the ground below her.

The fact is simple.

Draco Malfoy lays in the hospital wing with scars so deep against the pale of his chest. He could've died, he should be dead. While Winnie is not responsible for Harry's actions, nor is she responsible for the impulsive way her friend acts, she can not help but feel she could've prevented this.

It had been five days since she spoke to Cordelia. Five days where she had let herself seep so far into fears chokehold she had spent many days hidden beneath the fourposter of her bed. School books surrounding her, ink dried on her skin and a heavy weight sinking her further down.

Winnie Buldstrode could say she is quite well at coping, at pretending. She could push her face into a smile that her cheeks would burn from the intensity of it. She could pretend that the following stares that followed her when people glance upon her cheeks didn't effect her. She could even pretend that feeling incredibly at a lost didn't make her eyed hollow like empty flower vases.

Winnie could handle the lost of Theo Nott. She could handle watching him from a distance, seeing him love someone else, she could handle it because deep down she knew he would be the only person she could ever love. Deep down she knew that the chance of surviving this war grew lower and lower each day, she was not blind to the slow disapparences of muggle's and muggle born families. It had been only two days prior, when Maragret Warner – a muggleborn girl in her year – had her entire family murdered. Her screams had still pierced the very walls of Winnie's mind, it was deafening, a gut wrenching punch that made goosebumps trickle along Winnie's skin.

So Winnie accepted the likely hood of everyone surviving this to be low, so low that she had started to memorize people's faces. The way their nose would twitch when they laughed, the odd quirks to their face, features that set them apart from everyone else. It was rather morbid, but she had allowed herself to sink so deep into despair that it grew into acceptance.

Winnie could accept letting Theo go, she had experienced love for a millisecond of her life. So short, so quick that it left it's imprint on her, she could never rub her skin raw from his touch and she could never forget the way it felt to be something akin to his, no matter how short it lasted.

But losing Cordelia Flint was a punch she could not attest for. Never in her worse nightmares could she have imagined the moment where she could not recgonzie her cousin. Winnie had spent many quiet, stolen moments over the course of five days trying to catch a glimpse of the old Cordelia Flint. She had questioned herself, questioned when she had lost her and when she had stopped paying attention.

Winnie Bulstrode had dugged herself so deep she had almost forgotten that Harry Potter was the face of the promising war, that he too, was digging himself into a hole that he could crawl himself out of.

She had snapped out of it too late, for he had weeped and cried with blood on his arms, with a life of another so close to tethering onto his heart. Even if it was the life of Draco Malfoy, Harry was not so cruel to wish him dead.

There was words that Winnie wished to roll of her tongue, the truth that she held upon her chest.

But her mouth would not move, so her feet did.

The duo did not notice her absence, and if they did, they said nothing against it. Too busy trying to figure out how to help their friend when he returned from his meeting with Dumbledore.

Winnie walked, walked until the sun slowly set and her heart was weighed down with a guilt so pure and huge she was unable to do anything else but allow her head to lead her footsteps. She twisted along stairwells, blinking blindly until she came to a sudden halt in front of a person she hand't been expected to see.

The half moon trickled in from the broad castle windows, casting a hollow, white glow to sink across the face in front of her. Winnie's heart stuttured, her finger pressing against the cool silver of her ring as she stared wordelessly. Theodore Nott stood in front of her like a ghost, his eyes puffy and cheeks damp with tears that fell silently. His green eyes were glistening, a dark evergreen that Winnie almost forgot what they looked like. She had not stood this close to him in months, close enough to see the scar above his left eyebrow, to see the tiny world pull of emotions storming in his eyes.

Pain.

She could not feel his emotions like others, everything had always been silent, peaceful with him. But Winnie could not pretend that she did not know him well enough to understand that storm behind his eyes. Winnie took note of the fact that he still wore his hogwarts uniform, class had been over for hours at this point, but the crisp white of his Oxford shirt clung to him like a second skin, sleeves drawn down against his arms. Slytherin tie was long forgotten, leaving him appearing dishielved with the curly mess of his brown hair.

His arm twitched, left to be exact. Winnie tracked the movement like a hawk, watching as his body recoiled, as his fingers scratched the base of his forearm beneath the white of his shirt. She didn't need to see the skull and snake to know it was under there, to know that his arm was scarred with the mark of a tyrant who spilled more blood than she ought to know.

It hurt, just knowing all the same.

"I-," she paused, watching as the deep of his eyes slowly faded to a dull, vacant green. The way his face, once ruined like a fallen angle, turned stoic, to stone. Winnie's chin raised, her throat swallowing painfully as she glanced behind him at the entrance for the hospital wing. Cordelia slowly retreated from the door, her redhair no longer. Leaving just her chestnut hair, long enough to touch the top of her chest. Her mouth opened, as if she were to speak, when suddenly her icy eyes landed on Winnie. The blonde's own heart could not take much more, so she stiffened, feeling herself retract in on herself as if that could protect her from their hollow stares.

Looking upon them now was like looking at the dead. They were emotionless, save for the drying tears that kissed Theo's cheeks, one could believe they were dolls. It was chilling, the effortless way they could slip into a state of feeling nothing, of blinking and breathing without feeling every single emotion the world had to offer.

Winnie found herself eviness of it, while they felt little, her heart felt everything. It beat and tethered with the weight of her emotions, it was too weak, too small. Yet it endured, until it eventually gave out.

The blonde swallowed, arms wrapped around herself as she tore her eyes away from her cousin, landing on Theo who stared at her like she was a wall.

It all felt too much for her then, and she found herself unable to speak as she shrugged by them, head down and lips pressed into a line as she walked towards the doors of the hospital wing. Her footsteps stuttered as a hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her close as she flinched. Winnie tore her wrist away, holding it close to her chest as she stared at Theo, who for a moment, frowned, his fingers curling at empty hair at the lost of her touch. Winnie could almost believe he might missed the feel of her skin if it wasn't for the emptiness in his eyes.

"Theo-," Cordelia's voice was quiet, controlled, but Winnie knew her cousin well. She knew how it sounded when an underlying sense of warning licked her tongue. Cordelia's voice held a power that very little people could control, she was always quiet, her voice made people pay attention. Made people listen to whatever left her mouth, Winnie often found Cordelia control people with the right words, the right tone of voice. But Theo missed the way Cordelia's tone demanded control, demanded attention, an urgency leaving her simple word as Theo lifted his hand to silence her.

Winnie supposed Theo had his own way of making people listen, for her eyes stayed glued to his face. His eyes never left hers, even as Cordelia fell silent behind them. Winnie still stood with her arms against her chest, while he straightened, hands falling to his side.

"It was all true," he started, putting his hand up again as Cordelia – more urgently this time – called his name again, a frustrated sigh leaving her lips as Winnie's lips pulled into a frown. "Everything was true, I just," he licked his lips, a bitter laugh leaving his mouth. "You have to know that it was true, so this, wasn't for nothing."

"Theo! We have to bloody go," Cordelia snapped, pulling on Theo's wrist, carefully avoiding Winnie's eyes as the blonde stares wordlessly. For a silver of a second, her Theo returns. The evergreen of his eyes is forever imprinted into her mind, finding it impossible to miss them now, as they flash in his eyes. As if he let his walls surrender to her for only a second before he is gone, and she if left with his words and a mess she does not know how to untangle.

Winnie doesn't even get to process what his words mean, for before she can even blink, a wand is trained on her from behind. She can feel it poke into the middle of spine, feel the edge drive into her skin and pierce the bump of her bone. Her body freezes, watching as Theo and Cordelia before let out a heavy sigh, how both of them step back, Theo's eyes falling to the floor and avoiding her completely, whole Cordelia stares wordlessly, though her mouth moves.

"I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to be here," Cordelia admits, voice quiet, weak with emotion as Winnie's ears begin to ring, heart hammering as a hand moves its way against the back of her neck. A flash of sliver greets her gaze as Draco Malfoy steps into view, looking like a corpse walking with the sunken eyes and sharp cheekbones. It looks closer to death than he was when she had found him weeks before, but now his wand is trained on her and his hand is holding the back of her skull. His stance is powerful, dangerous with an unwavering hand, though his eyes are glassy, tears glistening in his eyes and she knows, she knows the end is here.

"You're gonna kill me," she whispers, and though she knows she can fight back. She can twist his wrist with her fingers, her wand is hoisted to her leg and it'll take a total of two seconds for her hands to slip it in her hold.

Fear crawls it's way to her, and in that moment, she finds herself unable to do anything but look into the eyes of her murder and realize the two people she loves most is behind him.

It's a feeling so sharp that she can feel her eyes glisten, can feel her fingers shake as she falls into the comforting arms of fear. The arms that always hold her upright when her heart is too weak to carry her.

But she is wrong.

Three people will die, and she will not be one of them.

"No," Malfoy utters, the word a simple whisper she almost misses it. "You're just not supposed to be here," he adds, before his wand flashes green and her body becomes jello, slumping forward as her eyes widen. She realizes quite quickly that he has paralyzed her, no, not killed her, just momentarily frozen her entire body.

Arms engulf her, holding her upright as she starts to be dragged away from the boy who was nearly killed this morning.

To lose complete control of your body is not something Winnie Buldstrode is new to, she feels that unforgiving loss every month when the moon shines bright and full.

But to feel completely out of control as she is dragged into a broom closet, her mind still awake and her eyes the size of saucers is another thing altogether.

She knows who drags her, for she is completely aware of the smell of cinnamon so pure and delicate it stings her nostrils. Winnie has not smelled Theo Nott in months, it is both frightening and oddly comforting now as he lays her down gently on the floor. There is a yellow light that flickers in and out from the open door, she is not aware of what Cordelia and Draco are doing at this particular moment. She cannot move her head nor open her mouth to ask or see, they are there all the same, hovering.

Theo crouches in front of her, his fingers as soft as features touching her scars as he tucks a strand of hair behind her hair. His eyes are void of emotion, empty and blank, it does not match the way her touches her now. Tender and full of emotion that she can feel ooze in her chest, but perhaps that is just her own feelings.

She feels something akin to her heart breaking – if it could break anymore. The familiar sting of her eyes watering greets her as she stares at him, watching as he purses his lip, tilting his head with a heavy sigh before he leans forward and kisses her forehead. It last for nearly a second, but it is enough for her to feel her heart shatter. If her body could move, she would perhaps be shaking, but she is frozen still.

"I love you, please understand that," his words pierce her like a blade running in between her ribcage as she squeezes her eyes shut. She hears him leave, hears the click of the closed door that baths her in a void of darkness.

She cannot move.

She cannot speak.

But she can hear.

"Why did you do that? Why did you tell her that?" Cordelia's words are rushed, tone crisp and dark and Winnie can picture her seething at Theo.

"She'll survive, and she deserves to know," Theo argues, voice thin as Winnie picks up the sudden sound of a scuff. Her eyes are still leaking tears that coat her closed eyelids and tighten against her unmoving cheeks as she tries her best to focus on their voices. The door is thick, stone made from the founding days of the castle, but her ears are better.

"And what? You won't?" Cordelia's argument is quick, not missing a single moment as silence greets Winnie's ears after.

'We don't have time for this! They are coming, we have to move now," Draco's voice is breathless, a winch leaves his lips after he finishes. Winnie has no doubt that his chest is still healing, that perhaps it feels like his lungs is on fire with every word.

They are coming.

Winnie doesn't need to be a genius to figure who they are speaking about, and suddenly her chest breaks apart in a technicolor of fear.

"I got the vanishing cabinet, you too find Dumbledore, wherever he is. I'll find you," Draco orders, his voice thin and commanding despite the clear evidence of pain laced in his tone. It is clear that panic is evident in their systems, for each of them forget that Winnie could hear everything they are saying.

It was underestimate, one that she attends to prove.

It is too quiet now, and Winnie will become a force to reckon with in the pitch black of her safety net. She has little time to digest the meaning behind Theo's word, nor does she have time to feel the same fear that choked her before.

Winnie is no longer scared for hearself, she now feels a dread take ahold of her bones for Harry. He is with Dumbledore, and will be for at least another hour. If Death Eaters are entering the castle, their priority will be him, and Winnie swore to herself a long time ago that she will not waste time on anyone else but him. She owned him a life debt, a debt she planned to pay back.

The blonde did the only thing she swore to never do, to never accept, she talked to the entity she shared her very existence with.

I need your help, please.

                 – FOOLISH GIRL, YOU WILL

                    GET US KILLED –

The sound sent shivers down her spine, her ears prickling as she squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath in. Fear would not control her today, at least, not her own.

Harry is in danger, we need to help him.

                  – WE DON'T NEED TO DO

                            ANYTHING BESIDE'S SAVE OURSELVES —

If Winnie could roll her eyes, she would. A sense of panic was reaching her now, she needed to move. The pendant on her chest grew heavier with every breath, she needed to go.

Please, I'd do anything. Just help me, please.

                      – ANYTHING? –

Winnie Buldstrode would make two rash decisions that would alter her life forever, after this night fell to an end and the sky would burst with warmth that would feel too hot, too fake, too wrong, she would think back two decisions she would make in during night and realize she could do nothing but live with them, no matter the consequences.

Anything.

It happened quicker than she thought it would.

She felt the twitching of her finger first, felt the rise and fall of her frozen chest. Winnie Buldstrode had denied apart of herself for months, she was a werewolf after all, whether she liked it or not.

It would be the very factor that aided in saving herself that night.

Thank you.

Her brain was too silent, but she had very little time to ponder upon that fact as her fingers moved to the silver pendant on her chest. Slipping the metal in her mouth and disappearing in a haze of colours before she landed rather sharply on her ankle in the underside of the Astronomy tower.

Hands moved around the undersides of her forearms, steading her as she winched at the pain erupting up her ankle.

'Winnie?" Harry's panic voice was a whisper as Winnie turned so suddenly it almost threw him back against the wall. Her arms clung to him tightly, holding him close to her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut. Harry was here, seemingly unharmed minus the evident exhaustion and fear trickling off of him like waves that pierced her heart.

He was alive.

The night was far from over, however, for sudden footsteps above them made Winnie's arms loosen as she glanced above them. She spotted Dumbledore first, appearing like a ghost dressed in a white wizarding robe, his silver hair and beard untamed and falling down to his abdomen. She could barely glimpse his charred hand, blacken from a curse she didn't truly understand, only heard whispers from the trio during studying hours. The headmaster was staring across the room, speaking in calm tones to people she knew already.

Draco Malfoy stood in the middle, his wand raised and shaking. Winnie had little to no recognition on how long it took her to be able to move again, but Draco had completed his task with the vanishing cabinet and now, now he was aiming his wand at Dumbledore.

Unfortunately, he wasn't alone.

Cordelia Flint stood on his left, closest to the railing as the breeze smoothed back her hair. Her wand was raised, her hand less shaken than Draco's. If one didn't know her enough, they would miss the nervous tick she possessed, the way her fingers smoothed side to side on her wand.

To Draco's right, stood Theo. Any nervous ticks he possessed she could not see, he stood straight, shoulders rigid and broad with hsi wand trained straight onto Dumbledore.

They planned to kill him.

Winnie sucked in a sharp inhale of breath at the notion, they couldn't.

"They're gonna kill him, they said that-"

"Death Eaters are entering the castle," Winnie whispered as her eyes moved between the floor and the trio above them. She had to move, she had to move fast. "There has to be something-"

"How do you know that?" Harry questioned so quietly she almost missed it, Winnie's body froze as she stared at the floor. In hindsight, she probably should've watched what she said,"Winnie. How do you know?"

"Harry I, I only just found out. They stunned me and put me in a closet, but I managed to get away and I came as fast as I could," Winnie rushed out, watching as Harry's eyes shoulders grew straighter, her hands were wringing together as he spoke his next words.

"And that's all you knew?" People underestimated Harry Potter. They played him off unintelligent, clueless, unobservant. He was more than that, Harry Potter paid attention to things that mattered, and right now, the way Winnie stared at him like a sick puppy, her chest heaving and words unable to leave her mouth was telling enough. "You knew about them!"

"Harry I- I tried to tell you-"

'When?" He snapped, keeping his voice a low hum, but his words slapped just as hard as it would if he was yelling. Truth was, she never did try to tell him. She got lost into her own distraught mind and forgot all about Harry, forgot all about how he would feel if he knew, if he didn't know.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Two children come to play?' Winnie's voice went rigid, her breath halting in her chest as goosebumps grew against the surface of her skin. Whatever anger that floated in Harry's chest had disappeared the moment Bellatrix Leststrange appeared behind them. Regrettably she wasn't alone. Harry's hand had reached out and tugged Winnie to his side, her body tight as she came in contact with the Death Eaters that had stumbled upon them.

Bellatrix Lestrange was appeared as wild as her reputation. Her face was as white as snow, curly raven hair laid in wide, untamed naps on her head as it fell around her shoulders and back like a curtain. She had two strands of her white hair framing her face, much like her younger sister's hair, though Narcissa Malfoy appeared softer, more controlled than the women in front of her now. She wore a dress that hugged her skinny frame tightly, it was as black as night as her ruby red lips pulled into a wide, terrifying smile.

To her left, stood Severus Snape, his nose upright in the air as he eyed the pair with loose interest. Winnie's head felt as if it could fall off. Winnie never particularly liked Snape but to see him so calm and collected in the presence of Death Eaters made her head spin. He was on their side, a traitor through and through.

Alecto Carrow smirked from the right side of Bellatrix, her ginger hair pulled back into a tight ponytail at the base of her skull. Her skin was taunt, tight as her hair as her cheek bones stuck out. Her chin was pointy like a triangle, lips a light pink as her brown eyes stared harshly at the two teenagers.

Before they even had a chance to raise their wands, Harry and Winnie were left empty handed as Snape caught their wands in their hands. From beside her, Harry tensed, his hand squeezing tightly against her forearm as she braced herself for the worse.

"Excellent Severus, dear," Bellatrix patted Snape's face, evoking a disgruntled level of disgust evident on the greasy haired mans face before the wicked woman walked their way. Winnie itched closer to Harry as Bellatrix dragged her sharpened nails down Winnie's cheek. Pricking her scar as the blonde squeezed her eyes shut, breathing heavily.

"Poor little pup," Bellatrix teased, pouting as she grabbed Winnie's face, directing her eyesight and face towards her. Her nails dug into Winnie's cheek as her eyes were forced open by Bellatrix's other hand. Her fingers pressing in on her eyelids as Winnie stifled a wince. Harry's hand was dragged away from her, a muffled sound of complaint coming from his lips. "The Dark Lord would love to see you, would love to see the mess that you have become," Bellatrix's voul breath stung Winnie's nostrils and eyes, making them water as she was bathed in the smell of rotten eggs and milk. "He'll be so pleased with me," Bellatrix hummed, a wicked smirk on her features as she quickly let go off Winnie's face, only to twist the blonde's arms behind her back. "But first, let's see how your old humpty Headmaster is," a wicked laugh left the women's lips.

Winnie only had a sliver of a second to glance at Harry before she was pulled away towards the staircase leading up the Astronmey Tower. The raven haired boy was being held by Severus Snape, his eyes wide behind his glasses and his lips glued shut by a spell she can only guess Snape casted upon him.

                – TOLD YOU WE

              WOULD DIE–-

A sliver of panic ate away at her at the tone of her wolf's voice. They were quiet, a gentle hum now compared to the nail scratching voice that surrounded her for months. It was alerting enough to make Winnie struggle against the hands of Bellatrix. Only the woman grew tired of her antics and pushed Winnie against the ground. Making her ankle catch against the step, causing an already uncomfortable ache to grow up her shin as Winnie caught herself with her hands.

Bellatrix's heels click against the floor as her fingers wrap around the base of Winnie's ponytail before tugging tightly. A wince erupts against her lips as her neck strains against Bellatrix's hold. "It'll be in your best interest to corroborate mutt, or I won't hesitate to end your life, got it?" Bellatrix's words licked against the side of her ear before she was pulled up once more.

She had almost forgotten about the scene in front of her.

Dumbledore stood, as calm as the night sky. He was illuminated by the night sky, standing like a halo surrounding his figure. Directly across from them stood the trio who stared at her like she was a ghost. Winnie was not supposed to be there, with her hands bond by a mad woman, her ankle jolting in pain and her skin sickenly pale.

Her eyes flickered to Cordelia's, whos were momentairly wide, tracking over her before they switched to where Harry stood. Silent and steaming with unburden anger as his hands were held by a nonchalant Snape.

"Draco," Bellatrix voice was sharp, as the silver haired boy twitched, glancing over towards his deranged aunt. "Come be a dear and hold the mutt, will you?"

The look of confusion betrayed against his face was more telling than anything else.

"But I-"

"No, you aren't." Bellatrix snapped, "you aren't supposed to do anything. You were a decoy boy, don't be so foolish. Now listen to your aunt and come here," Winnie's bone were rigid and she stared at the dying face of Draco Malfoy. He was supposed to kill his Headmaster, he was assigned this mission, he was a decoy,

Draco Malfoy was designed to fail.

He walked rather blindly over towards her, his cold hands wrapping around her wrist as he pulled her tight against him.

Many events led up to this moment in time. Her undivided attention and need to feel the detah that crawled off of him. Her stumbling upon him in the abandon bathroom, her healing him despite having every reason not to. Her never telling Harry about the secrets Draco shared with her. Draco was cruel, relentless and a man with narrowed and tradiontal beliefs, but she had a built a level of trust with him. However translucent and small it may be, she built it and perhaps, she could use.

"Draco, this cannot happen," she whispered, turning her head to the side so he would hear. Winnie felt him tense beneath her shoulder, his chest heaving in and out with shaking breaths. Grey eyes were staring off into the floor, jaw tensed and eyebrows furrowed as if he was coming to the same conclusion she had moments prior. He was seen as a failure in a world he had desired, been learned to fight for since he was a child. "We cannot let this happen." He was beyond hearing it seemed, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she turned her attention to Bellatrix, who was now standing in between Cordelia and Theo.

Cordelia was staring at Dumbledore, her nostrils flaring as Bellatrix twirled a piece of her hair between her nimble fingers. The witch was whispering words that was not meant to be heard by anyone else.

Winnie's eyes tilted to Harry, who was staring daggers at the two witches, eyeing them as if the fire in his eyes could burn this entire building to the ground. Winnie noticed the way Snape stared only at Dumbledore, who seemed to stare back at with him something close to a secret understanding between the two.

Peculiar.

Everything was moving in a rather slow motion, her skin prickled with tiny hairs as her body tensed once more. Footsteps slowly approached up the spiral staircase as more Death Eaters descended upon them.

Though her eyes only latched onto one.

Fenrir Greyback stood in his disastrous, monsterious being. Blood dried upon the edges of his sharpened canane teeth, she felt herself stumble back further against Draco, knocking him out of his trance as his fingers wrapped tighter around her.

                    – RUN –

If she could she would, but she was frozen to the floor as Greyback ran his eyes over everyone before they finally landed on her. A smirk twisted across his features and a lump grew in her throat.

Time is a peculiar thing, really, its odd how greatly events could happen and one wouldn't even notice until days, weeks later when time hit them like a boulder.

She didn't remember speaking, didn't remember pleading for all of this to stop. Winnie does, however, remember looking at Cordelia when those words left her mouth. She was untamable now, fear choked her dry and she needed it all to stop.

The end is near and Winnie Bulstrode is not prepared.

It should be known she remembers one event from that night in the astronomy tower, it haunts her very being for months to come. She will awake with her throat rubbed raw and her eyes blurry as she scrambles to put together the pieces of her brain as screams that are not her own echo in her head.

Dumbledore died rather quickly, from what she was told. Cordelia had done it, whatever the circumstances or the words Bellatrix had whispered to her, it had tipped her over the edge and Dumbledore's death was the catalyst to the events that take place next.

Apparently Winnie screamed, apparently she begged, but she does not remember this and nor will it be the only begging she does that night.

She does remember what happens next.

Whatever words that had left Winnie's mouth had been enough to enrage Bellatrix to a degree to which the witch sent a curse quicker than she could even anticipate. It was sharp, a bright green light aimed directly for her heart as it rushed its way towards her from Bellatrix wand.

Though it did not hit her, and Winnie will remember that realization for the rest of her life.

Winnie had almost forgotten about Theo Nott being in the room, she was too paralyzed by the werewolf staring her down, too paralyzed by her own fear that made her impulsive, made her weak, and now Theo paid the price.

Theodore Nott Junior had jumped in front of the spell, it had sent him flying to the ground faster than anyone could even realize.

His screams were instant. Like metal scraping against stone, his cry pierced her ears as he withered on the ground. Fingers scratching into his skin, pulling rippling fresh away. Blood trickled down his cheeks as he cried blood, crimson so bright it burned away in her brain.

Winnie moved quicker than her brain could comprehend, a sense dread feeling her bones and heart as Theo lay dying not even a foot away from her. She was unable to reach him as hands wrapped against her stomach, pulling her back as she screamed, cried, begged.

"Let me go!" She yelled, twisting in pain as tears blurred her vision. In a haze she could see the brunet twitch as his whitering came to a halt, his screams giving away to nothing as her heart floated from it's hold in her chest.

He was silent, and her word erupted. "Theo!" Her voice was unrecgonziable, sounding like a wailing cat as she clawed at the person holding and dragging her away. She wasn't aware of Cordelia who ran to Theo, she wasn't aware of anything. Not the fire that erupted in the sky, not the green skull and snake that moved over the castle. "No, no, no. Please, please, I have to go back-"

"You will die," Draco's voice curled around her ears, so close, so stern. He held her back, held her as she screamed and thrashed. Whatever power and strength possessed him that night she will find herself questioning it for years to come. He continued to drag her away, following in the mist of Death Eaters who cheered and set fire to the halls of the castle.

Winnie felt nothing, her eyes unseeing as sobs raked her entire being. If she could replay teh choices that brought her to where she stood now, she would've kept her mouth shut. She would've stoic like a doll if it meant Theo would still be....

No. No, she won't believe it.

She would get out of this alive, and he would be fine. He would be alive.

                    – FIGHT YOU DUMB GIRL,

               OR HE WILL GET US BOTH. –

The scratching tone was back, overtaking her entire body as suddenly her heart stopped feeling like she would break. Winnie felt nothing at all, only the silent hum of the wolf in her head, as if her own thoughts and feelings were buried in the very back of her mind. She had promised her wolf anything, and so it took away the one thing that made her weak. Her feelings were gone, at least, for awhile.

They were stumbling down the stairs, cheers of laughter and success reached her ears. Draco still held her upright, his own sense of panic reaching her ears as she blinked. Her cheeks were tight, taunt with dried liquid that she would later wipe away from her face with a emptiness her chest.

For now, she preserved.

Greyback was somewhere in front of them, she could feel his very being beating in her own chest. If she were to follow wherever they went, she would be dead by morning. Whether at the hands of Voldermort or at the hands of Greyback, neither one seemed preferable.

Winnie didn't know where Harry was, and she found herself unable to be concerned at that moment as they neared a corner where she knew a classroom would be. It was the same classroom she had fought three different times in, two of them was Cordelia.

Winnie gritted her teeth, she was wandless, her new wand somewhere in the pockets of Snape, long forgotten about as she thanked Godric for allowing Draco and her to be the last of the group.

It appeared Draco did not plan for her to fight back, to twist his hand and drag them into the empty classroom, shutting the door quietly behind them as she pressed her back against the cool stone.

In the back of her mind she knew she should be a wreck, knew she should be in the Astronomy tower with him. But all she could feel in that peculiar moment in time was the need to get out.

The moment she opened her eyes she was faced with Draco Malfoy's wand trained on her face. Whatever nervousness he possessed when he trained his wand at Dumbledore was gone now as he stared at her with a level of coldness. Winnie lifted her chin, sniffing slightly as Draco scowled.

"Move or I will kill you," she noticed he flinched at the word kill, as if it tasted bitter on his tongue. He had just lost a friend too, and in strange order of events she would take pity on him.

"No," she argued, her tone quiet and straight as Draco walked forward, pressing his wand in the soft skin underneath her chin.

"I will kill you," Draco seethed as Winnie smirked slightly, tilting her head as he towered over her.

"No," she repeated herself, speaking simply as Draco's eyes narrowed into slits. "Why would you do that? I can help you, you know. Or you could go back there and die."

"You can't do anything, you know nothing," he spat, though he stepped away and let his wand fall to his side. They were losing time, she could feel it in the way the castle shook, the way orange flame broke out from outside the window.

"You're right I don't," she agreed, watching as he continued to stare daggers at her. "But I know you were never meant to live past tonight, you were designed to fail and they will gut you like a fish if you return." She spat, lips pressed into a cold line as Draco quickly surged upon her. His wand digging deeper into her neck as she withheld the urge to wince, she spoke the truth, and he unfortunately knew it. Winnie saw it in the way his eyes traced her face, the way his hand had begun to shake.

"I need your word that no harm will come to me-"

"Fine you have my word," Winnie shrugged, speaking softly as Draco scuffed, shaking his head.

"No that's not enough, I need your vow," Draco demanded, keeping his wand against her chin as Winnie blinked.

Surviving is a tricky equation. Many would do different tactics, perhaps one would try to kill Draco Malfoy now to get it over with. It was a route she could take, but he was the one with the wand and she would be dead before she even lifted a finger.

He wasn't evil, but Draco was suriviving too.

"Fine," she grounded out, teeth clicking together. A flash of emotion she soaked up into her bones was evident in his grey eyes. He was surprised, but it vanished as quickly as it came. "I can't do it here but when we are somewhere safe I'll have someone perform it I swear."

Draco never got the chance to reply, for the door was shoved open behind them and she was shoved to the side. The silver haired boys wand was raised in defence as Remus Lupin stepped into the room.

"Malfoy-"

Winnie ran, her arms flinging themselves around the older male as she breathed in the familiar scent of chocolate and herbal tea. Her bones sagged in relief, however momentarily with the sound of sparks ringing her ears from a few hallways away. Remus hugged her back, his hadn clenching the back of her skull as he breathed in a sigh of relief.

"Real nice pack reunion, but can we go now," Draco drawled, a sense of urgency in his tone as Winnie felt Remus tense. The blonde pulled away, her chest tight as she looked up at the worn face of her dad. There were a million unanswered questioned packed with Draco's statement, questions she could not answer at that time, and perhaps he understood that for he just nodded.

Winnie had survived that night, but at what cost?

                             – DO YOU REGRET IT? –

༺♥༻

MAY 22ND, 1997: A WEEK AFTER THE ATTACK AT HOGWARTS.

                             Four deaths had followed the attack.

Dumbledore died at the hands of a panicked Cordelia Flint, though Winnie could not safely say for sure. She does not remember most of it.

Sirius Black died at the hands of Bellatrix Legstrange as he protected his godson from a curse that would've surely ended his life. It was quick, but the disaster afterwards would haunt Harry Potter forever. Though, again, Winnie could not say for sure for Harry had avoided her ever since that night. Apparently he holds some blame upon her shoulders for what happened, and Winnie didn't have the heart to disagree.

Draco Malfoy died a the hands of her.

Well, that it what's believed among the Wizarding World. Instead, he is alive, wandless and shackled to her for the rest of the war, however long it endures. It was a foolish and rash to decision to let him join, the remaining people in the Order did not trust him, and by default for association, they were wary around her now.

Remus had given her an earful after she told him about her promise, he argued that they could easily break it, but it was too late. Winnie had broken too many promises as of late, and she wouldn't break anymore if she could help it.

The unbreakable vow was done by Remus at 2:15am the morning after the attack. They were tired, aching with the pain of their lost ones and their wounds from the battle, but it was done, and now her life was tied to protecting him, and by default so was Draco's. Remus had wanted an extra warrant of protection, of trust. Draco Malfoy had no choice but to swear to protect her life with everything he had in him.

It was not a comforting thought that her sworn protector would be someone who hated her for years, but war was a fickle thing, and they had little friends left.

Winnie stands besides Draco now, in a odd moment of silence in a corrid room in the Burrow. It was peculiar really, how easy it was to stand in silence next to him. They shared nothing in common, well, besides for one thing.

Grief.

Winnie had felt Theo's death that night after the unbreakable vow, she had sobbed in a steaming shower until her eyes were dried and puffy. She feels his death now, in the hollow space in her chest where her heart is supposed to be.

Theo Nott died saving her and Winnie Buldstrode doesn't know what to do with that.

She is not grateful, she is a burden of anger that shimmers beneath the surface. Winnie should've died that night, not him, never him. She had accepted her death knowing he would live and he stole that from her.

Right after telling her he loved her.

Fate was sick and torturous she realized, it was burning her inside and out. She had made a promise to herself that night, fear is what got him killed, and she will no longer allow fear to control her life. Maybe if she hadn't been so terrified and blinded by her own want, he would be alive right now, but he isn't. And she will live with that for the rest of her life.

"This came for you," Draco spoke quietly. He was often alone nowadays, speaking to no one, only glaring or sniffing when people spoke to him. After awhile people stopped, at least, besides for her. Winnie had no reason to hate him, if he did something to hurt her, he would die, there was a strange comfort in that. "While you were away." His nose scrunched up at the word away. It would be hilarious if she didn't just come back from Dumbledore's funeral where Harry refused to speak to her.

"Thanks," Winnie sighed, taking it from his hand as he continued to stare outside, a scowl across his features. The Weasleys were trying to make the best of the situation by setting up a quidditch game, Winnie found herself unable to find the joy in life lately. So when they invited her she could only lie and tell them she was tired and she was gonna nap. She was tired, though tired seemed to be an understatement for the lack of sleep she possessed as of late, but she had no attention of taking a nap.

Winnie moved to sit onto her makeshift bed that was made with an orange sleeping bag and blankets that Molly Weasley gave her when she set up her room in the tiny, storage unit. Draco's own bed was acoss from her, for he had grumbled about not trusting anyone else while he slept.

He didn't sleep, and Winnie had picked not to detest his words further.

Winnie's finger smooths against the envelope, her mother's hand writing flashing in her eyes. Her hazel eyes flicker to Draco for a moment, seeing him continue to stare out the window, completely unfazed by her letter as she pursed her lips into a line.

She has not thought about Imogen Buldstrode in weeks in light of everything going on, and yet she feels her heart clench slightly. Much has changed since their last meeting, and truthfully, she yearns for anything to stay the same. Her finger slips beneath the fold, crickling open the letter as she pulls out a small, torn piece of paper.

'Time is growing dark, I'm afraid I cannot keep you in the dark. Come to the bookstore. Say 'Lilac' to the wolf you live with. He will understand.'

Winnie's eyebrows furrow against her forehead as she rereads her mother words, completely at a lost. She highly doubts Remus will understand anything, she wasn't even aware Remus knew her mother.

"I have to go," she speaks absentmindly, only hearing the sound of a grunt signaling Draco both didn't care and acknowledged her words. Winnie clutched the letter close to her chest as she stumbled down the stairs, her brain leading her to where she left Remus moments before in the kitchen.

She finds him now, alone, as he stires a cup of hot chocolate with a spoon, his eyes staring down at the liquid. Remus had more of these moments now, where he seems lost to the world around them, drowning in his pain. Winnie couldn't imagine the pain he feels, losing everyone he loved to a war that followed him his entire life. Perhaps it is why he clings to her tighter now, she is all he has left.

In a way, he is all she has left too.

"I got a letter from my mother," Winnie speaks quickly, breaking his train of thought as he looks up at her with a snap of his head. In an instance his mug is down and he is taking the letter from her hands. She stands, fidgeting with the ring on her finger as he reread the letter not twice, but five times.

His face grows pale, and she feels his pain radiate off of him like tainted posion. It stings her as she swallowed down his agony and replaces it with a gentle hand on his wrist. Taking his feelings and pouring happiness into his veins is the only way he acknowledges her again.

"We have to go," Winnie doesn't get the time to register his words before he is pulling her out towards the Apparitian wards off the Weasley property. No one notices their quick departure, too lost in their own misery and pain.

"What does it mean? Remus tel-" Her words fall on a falt tongue as they twirl through the air, her forearms braced in his hands when they land on flat ground again. Back to the stuffy bookstore that chokes her lungs. Winnie blinks, steadying herself as Remus instantly pulls her behind him. Winnie's fingers curl around his forearm as she looks beyond his shoulder.

Her mother is sitting on the same chair she sat in weeks before. Her body cladded in a cashmere sweater, far too warm for the sticky humidity swirling outside. Imogen's hair is bright like Winnie's, like sunshine oozed into their sculps and birthed golden strands.

But suddenly, slowly like counting the seconds in a minute, her mother changes.

Her hair is no longer a wavy mess like Winnie's, instead its falls straight, darkens to the brownish shade of honey. Her mother's straight features disppear, replace with roudness in cheeks, roudness in her chin. Icy eyes turn into a green that makes Winnie's heart clench in such tight resemblance of Theo.

Remus' tenses first, his arm more protectively wrapped around Winnie as words die on his tongue like a strangled thought. His agony almost knocks Winnie sideways if it wasn't for the hold he possessed on her.

The women in front of her is a stranger as she stands, straightening her more tanned hands over her dress. Her green eyes blink as a small smile moves across her face. "Hello, love," she is not speaking nor even looking at Winnie now, for her attention is fully glued to Remus.

It is then that Winnie realizes who is standing in front of them, a ghost of her past.

It was easy to tell she was a Nott rather quickly. She had the same honey-blonde hair that she remembered Theodore Nott Sir having. It ran long around the lanky female's shoulders, disappearing behind her back each time she inclined her head to the side ever so slightly. Her hair sat in wide ringlets, while her green eyes sparkled with a familiar dull green, the same ones she had recognized upon Theo's face.

Charlotte Nott stood in front of her now, very much alive.

END OF BOOK ONE.

— runs and hides 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
— y'all TRUST THE PROCESS I SWEAR!! we have a long road yet to go & i will be publishing book two tomorrow and i'll tag whoever wants to be tagged.
— i am so incredibly nervous to post this, so please, please leave some feedback because i'm actually stressed 😭 with that said, this chapter sets up so many plotlines for the second book which i'm excited to start publishing and working on it for you guys.
— i love you all and i hope each of you follow winnie & i to her next book! xoxo