𝖂innie Bulstrode has one absolute favourite person.

    Being twelve, she supposes her favourite things change each day. Once upon a time, when she first heard about attending Hogwarts, her favourite animal was a snake. Everything in her home had been based upon that one animal. She was raised to be that one animal. To represent it just as well as everyone had before her.

        Winnie Bulstrode never had a problem with that. Not even when her younger sister Millie had come barging into her room one night, crying and screaming at her because 'you're their favourite, it isn't fair!' Winnie didn't understand at the time. She couldn't understand her sister's pain. She could feel it, she could feel the hardened stone that dropped in her stomach, but she didn't understand it. In her mind, her parents loved them; equally, they spent all their money on them and gave them whatever they wanted when asked what could be wrong?

       Her favourite animal changed when she started Hogwarts when her life of green and silver changed to a life of red and gold. Suddenly, Winnie Buldstrode likes lions much more than snakes.

         But unlike her favourite animal, her famous person stayed the same. Her favourite person was a strange man with white hair and cold, bitter eyes. He was a man who liked his whiskey hard and painful, a man who stayed away in his room, hidden from the public in Bulstrode Manor. He was a man who her sister called scary and tasteless, but Winnie thought he was intelligent and amusing. This man was her grandfather, perhaps the only reason she ended up as a lion instead of a snake.

        He was the one who taught her the workings of her heart, how to heal one's emotional pain with a touch, and how to block people's emotions from entering her bloodstream. How to be anything but an empath.

         Winnie Bulstrode was incredibly sneaky; she knew exactly how to sneak out from under her parent's eye and into her grandfather's room. While her parents thought he was a crazy bat and unsafe to be around, years later, Winnie realized that it was only because he was different that they didn't like him.

         Right before she left the comfort of her home to attend Hogwarts, her grandfather had sat her down. A glass of firewhiskey in his hands and — to her great surprise — a smile on his face.

"Winifred, don't do a single thing you don't want to do in your life. You run your own life. You don't have to be a follower, Winifred. You've proven that much by coming here and seeing this old crazy bat. You are exactly who you are supposed to be, no matter what, and there's nothing wrong with that."

        The exact words whispered through her head as she was sorted and the same ones going through her head as she sat in her home again. Her tiny hands were placed on her lap as she wore her Gryffindor sweater, a sharp crimson contrasting everything terrible around her.

        "W-What do you mean he's dead?" Winnie's lip trembles as she stares blurry eyes at her parents. Her mother's chin is high as she stares unmoving at her eldest daughter, her father's lips painted into a scowl. Millie sat beside her, utterly untouched by the news of their grandfather's death.

        "Are you daft? The old crook died," her father spoke, scoffing, and Winnie briefly wondered how he could talk so freely about his father in law's death. "Stop crying, Winifred, don't be a bigger disappointment."

Disappointment.

     "I, I don't understand," her lip trembled as she reached up and wiped at her face, willing herself to stop crying. Her emotions were too big for her mind, for her heart and eyes continued to grieve. Her mind continued to stare at the empty faces of her parents. Not once had they told her they missed her, not once had they said they loved her or were proud of her. Instead, they simply stared at her as if she was a disease. They looked at her like they looked at her grandfather. Broken. Disappointment. Different.

         "You were supposed to be in Slytherin," her father's voice boomed with a scoff, his eyes staring so coldly at her that she recoiled in her seat.

         "I can't help where the-"

         "No, you can't," her mother agreed, standing swiftly as she straightened her pencil skirt. "So you've broken. You disappointed us, Winifred. You are broken, and we can't fix you," the young blonde girl felt as if she was being scolded for something she couldn't control. She watched with wide eyes and empty hearts as her parents praised her sister and left her in the dark alone. She watched as the words of disappointment and broken travelled through her young brain, unable to comprehend that they were wrong. Unable to understand that there was nothing wrong with her genuinely.

          She reached out then, letting her mind become an apparent abyss. Her parents' emotions entered her body in a bitter wave. She felt nothing, nothing but a cold sheet of disappointment. Her skin erupted in goosebumps as shivers travelled down her spine. They didn't care.

         Winnie Buldstrode used to have one favourite person, but they had died, leaving her in a world of horror and empty smiles. Winnie Buldstrode used to have a family, people she called close and trusted, but then they turned their back on her at only twelve years old.

Disappointment. Broken. Different.

༺♥༻

            𝖂innie Bulstrode smiled with nothing sparking in her eyes.

           She had awoken the following day in tangled limbs, her legs entangled in sheets with dried tears on her face. She had no memory of returning to her dorm or falling into the sheets and falling asleep with dread in her veins. Only the memory of Theo's vacant eyes as they stared wordlessly at the handprint. He had watched her with too many questions licking the tip of his tongue, and she ran away with her legs between her legs.

              There was no possible explanation she could give to him that would hide the truth, and quite frankly, she had no idea how to deal with the possibility of Theo knowing something so intimate about her.

          Especially when she understands very little about it herself.

             She had gotten ready that morning, telling herself that everything would be okay, that nothing would affect Theodore Nott. It was none of his business. Despite their strange evening together, he would keep his mouth shut and go on about his day. He would move on from the handprint, from her hyperventilating and scorning the wall a deep charcoal black.

           That had all vanished the moment she stirred her camisole tea. One moment, she was finding ways to cure the nerves eating away at her stomach, and the next, Theodore Nott was sitting beside her. His elbow leaned on the table, and his legs turned towards her. Whispers and watchful eyes grew across the Gryffindor table as they all watched the snake with narrowed eyes.

          Winnie, however, had frozen. Hazel eyes glancing around everyone as she grasped her mug. Gaze twisted to the brunette beside her as she narrowed her eyes, watching the furrow between his brows deepen.

        "We should—"

         "This is none of your business Nott. Leave it alone," she gritted between her teeth, glancing around to check if anyone was overhearing them. Despite her better judgment, she shifted closer to him. Her hip brushed against his knees as she lowered her head, smelling cinnamon in her senses as she did so. Her nose wrinkled, overcome by the sense as Theo rolled his eyes.

       "I'm trying to help you, Wi-" She cut him off with a quick shake of her head, the plaited braids against her head swinging against her cheeks and nearly slamming him in the face as his lips pulled into a line, a frustrated breath leaving his lips.

        "I don't need your help. I have it under control," she snapped, drinking some tea and winching as the liquid burned down her throat. Theo's wand lifted from his trouser pants as he cast a mumbled cooling charm over her tea, only making her eyes narrow at him. Annoyance bubbling in your throat. "Stop it!" She added, swapping at his hand as he ignored her.

        "If you mean by under control, almost burning a hole in the wall, then sure. You're doing great," he drawled, tucking his wand back in his pants pocket as his evergreen eyes rolled. Winnie huffed, pressing the palm of her hand against her head as she breathed out heavily, letting frustration pull out of her. "Look, I'm trying to be nice here and help you so you don't accidentally burn down the school," Theo spoke more gently, his tone quiet as he tapped the crook of her elbow. Winnie ground her teeth, glancing over at him through her eyelashes, finding his eyes searching her round face with his lips pulled into a line.

          She truthfully had no idea how to do any of this. She was left alone, walking in the dark with her eyes bound and hands tied behind her back. Winnie was left answerless, and accepting his help made her skin prickle. The sincerity in her eyes scared her far more than any hateful look he had ever given her.

          "Gods, you are bloody annoying. I said I have it," she argued, biting down on her tongue from changing her words and agreeing with him. He wouldn't even understand what was happening to her, and she wouldn't know the first clue on explaining that she understood Neville Longbottom's rigid fear from ten seats down the table.

         "And you're so bloody stubborn, you insufferable girl," he gritted his teeth, shaking his head as curls bounced around his head. Winnie narrowed her eyes, glaring at him with fingers wrapped so tightly around her mug that her knuckles turned white. "I understand what's happening to you, okay and—" she laughed bitterly, causing his jaw to clench as he muttered something horrid.

         "What makes you think you understand anything? You don't know the first thing about me," she whispered, narrowing her eyes further as Theo scoffed. Ran a hand down the front of his face, her lips pursing as he stared at her with narrowed eyes.

          "I don't even why I'm doing this," he muttered, shaking his head before leaning in closer. Her back straightened as she leaned her head back slightly, tilting her chin upwards slightly. "You have empath magic twisting through your veins. It's why you're burning and feel like you may be sick even by being in the same room as others." He whispered, her face paling as she glanced around at the people around them. Her eyes spotted Cordelia from across the room. Her cousin watched them with narrowed eyes, brows furrowed against her head as Winnie tore her eyes away.

          Her lips pressed into a line, and she knew better than to deny it. Winnie had let it go too long and kept her mouth pulled into a bar, her face running translucent like a ghost. Clearing her throat, she pulled herself up to stand, leather bag strapping over her bag. Glancing over the room, she narrowed her eyes slightly. Her gaze met Theo's, dark green clashing with flaring amber eyes. Swallowing the bitter fear in her throat, she leaned down and grasped his chin between her fingers. Nails scratching his olive skin slightly as he stared up at her, green eyes flashing almost black as she ran her gaze over his face.

          "I don't need your help, Nott," she whispered, scowling as she spoke quietly, fingers still wrapped around his chin. His eyebrows furrowed, opening his mouth to argue as she shook her head. "Don't tell anyone. This is my secret, not yours. You best keep it to yourself," she let go of his chin as she stepped back abruptly, straightening her plaid skirt and narrowing her eyes down at him once more before turning on the leather of her shoes.

         A hand wrapping around her wrist halted her feet; she froze, glancing over her shoulder as Theo stood. His hand stayed wrapped securely over her wrist as he stood beside her, shoulder brushing against his chest as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. Winnie's stomach doubled against her better judgment, feeling his hot breath run down her neck, creating tiny goosebumps against her neck and arms as she tensed.

        "For the record, I wasn't going to tell anyone," he started, her eyes narrowing slightly as she stared at the doors opening to the hallways. "You can't stop me from helping either. It's my choice, not yours. Sorry to disappoint," he squeezed her wrist once before letting go, stepping around her and leaving her standing with a scowl slowly twisting across her features.

           Winnie stared at the male's shoulders as he left, fingers clenching as she glanced around again. Finding her cousin's eyes glued to hers as she raised her chin, biting down on the inside of her lip until metallic exploded in her mouth.

            She had more than one problem now, and Theodore Nott wouldn't leave her alone.

༺♥༻

            𝖂innie had been thinking of ways to get Theo to leave her alone all day, except none seemed to be working. She existed in a pool of her thoughts. Avoiding Theodore Nott at every door, causing her to miss out on dinner and instead trail down into the kitchens.

        Her thoughts were pulled from her as she noticed another person already in the kitchens. For a moment, her heart leaped in fear at the idea that maybe it was the boy who itched his way into under skin. She had first seen a flash of green, but then black moulded into the image with circle glasses. She sighed in relief, laying her bag on the table, the green scarf she stole from Cordelia around her neck.

        "Oh, it's you," she muttered slightly as she walked around the table, her eyes noticing the light on in the oven. And only because she grew accustomed to being around him, she opened the door slightly to peek inside, spotting the round pizza sitting in the range with mushrooms covering it. She wrinkled her nose, shaking her head as she closed the door. "Mushrooms."

         "Did you expect someone else?" Harry questioned as he watched the girl sitting beside him at the table, her eyes darting to him as she raised an eyebrow. "You said it's you." Harry explained further as Winnie's mouth formed an 'O' shape before she frowned.

       "No, didn't expect anyone," she muttered, picking at a loose thread in the scarf.

         "Is there something wrong?" Harry questioned after a moment, causing the girl to snort bitterly.

          "No, everything's peachy, Potter," she laughed bitterly, running a hand through her hair, her frustration coming out in heavy breaths.

          "You can ... erm, talk to me," Harry offered as he ran a hand through his hair, Winnie raising an eyebrow at him. She briefly wondered if she could talk to him, she didn't think she could speak to anyone. Her mind started to race slightly, her palms itching as she rubbed them against the fabric of her skirt.

           "It's nothing, Harry," she shrugged, insisting as the boy frowned.

              "I thought we agreed not to lie to each other," he said suddenly, the girl blinking as she stared at him.

            "When did we do that?" She questioned, stunned as the boy grinned.

             "Right now, this newly found friendship is open. No lies between each other," Harry spoke proudly, grinning as he raised his hand and laid his elbow on the table. His fingers curled into a fist, except for his pinky held out towards her. Winnie momentarily found herself flinching at the word friendship, she didn't see the boy that way, yet she couldn't find it in her to tell him otherwise.

            "Uhm, what the bloody hell are you doing?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow as she moved between his finger and him.

            "It's a pinky promise, duh," he spoke, his tone in a higher pitch voice that reminded her of how she had heard Lavender and Parvati say about boys and clothes before. The boy grinned, wrapping his pinky around hers. Winnie rolled her eyes and giggled slightly, copying his movements and sticking out her pinky.

           "Now, this is a pinky promise, Miss. Bulstrode. This is a promise of no lies between us. If you break it, the pinky promise monster will come and eat your pinkies off," he joked as Winnie laughed loudly, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth.

          "Oh no! How dare you, not my pinkies! Whatever will I do?" She asked, gasping as Harry curled his lips up in a smile.

           "Crash and burn, obviously. Pinkies are our best fingers," he spoke sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he removed his pinky from hers. The girl rolled her eyes and nudged him on the shoulder.

           "Really? I think it's the middle finger. Better to flip off my parents that way," she smirked, shrugging as Harry laughed. The two sat silently for a moment, Winnie's eyes watching the elves in the corner as Harry's eyes watched her lips pull into a frown.

          "So what's wrong?" Harry questioned, pulling the girl from where she was looking and towards him. She sucked in a breath, ready to tell him it was nothing again, until his eyes hardened slightly, her eyes flicking to the scar on his forehead. She wondered how many people lied to him then about the events in his life, and she sighed, figuring for once she could do him the favour of being honest. Well, slightly honest.

           "Have you ever felt so bloody ... lost?" She questioned, furrowing her eyebrows, "but, like, your entire world makes sense, yet this one thing in your head tells you otherwise?" She watched as Harry's lips pulled into a frown, his eyes looking down at the table.

           "Yeah, I have," his voice was barely a whisper, and Winnie realized she had never believed anyone more than now.

           "I think something happening, Harry. I don't know what to do," she paused, picking at the scarf thread again as she frowned. "I've been offered help."

          "You should take it. You don't have to do things alone," Harry spoke after a moment as Winnie's cheeks flushed, a small laugh leaving her lips as she wrinkled her nose.

         "That's rich coming from you," she retorted, a grin plastered across her features. Harry's mouth fell open as he stared at her, the girl picking at a scratch on the table with her finger until; finally, she stood up. "Let's check the pizza, yeah? Knowing you, you'll burn it, and I don't want to eat burnt pizza."

          "Hey! Who said you could have any?" Harry questioned suddenly as he followed her actions, the girl's hand on the door handle as she pulled it down. Giving Harry a sad smile as she reached over to pat her cheek.

             "It's cute that you think you have a choice," she grinned as the boy scowled at her but never protested.

            Winnie held open the oven door as Harry pulled the pan out, oven mitts covering his hands from being burnt. She stared, wrinkling her nose at the cooked fungi on top of the pepperoni and cheese, just as Harry suddenly dropped the pan. Before she could even yell at him for dropping the food or diving to get it herself, the pizza flew back up and landed softly on the table. Her eyes went wide as she jumped, startled and quickly threw a look over her shoulder. Her mouth fell open as she landed on her cousin standing in the doorway with her wand out. Her mouth twisted into a smile as she glanced at Harry's wide-eyed gaze.

          "Cordelia!" Winnie spoke happily, closing the brick oven door, "Come to join us!"

           "Oh," Cordelia started, walking towards them as she shook her head. "No, thanks, I already—"

              "No, I insist. You've got to try this," Winnie spoke, cutting her off as she began to cut slices of the pizza up. "It's called pizza."

              "Pizza?" Cordelia questioned Winnie, nodding as she started to pick mushroom pieces off her piece and lay them on Harry's.

          "It's muggle food," Harry answered, picking up a plate as Winnie laid a piece of pizza on top of it. One with mushrooms, to be exact. If anyone asks, she was probably not hogging all the mushroom-free pizzas she made for herself! "Winnie doesn't like mushrooms," Harry commented as he watched her pick pieces of her own slice, the girl sticking her tongue at him.

         "You don't like mushrooms?" Cordelia questioned as Winnie looked back at her, wrinkling up her nose in reply as she realized her cousin did, in fact, like mushrooms. She was surrounded by idiots. "How odd."

         Winnie rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her now mushroom-free pizza, smiling softly at the flavour that burst in her mouth, chewing and swallowing just as Cordelia did the same.

         "Damn, that's good!" Her cousin spoke, surprised after she finished eating the whole slice of pizza.

          "Right! I can't believe we've never tried it before!" Winnie agreed, her mouth titling to a smile as she beamed, turning to Harry, who stood beside her. "What else is there to try?"

          "Well, there's—" Harry started, blushing as he flickered his eyes to Cordelia just as she cut him off.

            "D-do you have my scarf?" Cordelia questioned, looking at Winnie, who blinked, raising an eyebrow at her cousin's stumble, before her hand fell to her throat where said scarf lay against her.

              "Why would I have your scarf?" Winnie scoffed, hiding back a grin as she watched Cordelia glare at her across the table. "I'm not a Slytherin!"

            "I'm aware," Cordelia drawled. "I'd like it back." She spoke, holding out her hand for it as Winnie smirked.

          "Winnie, give it back," Harry spoke suddenly, causing the pale skin girl to blink in surprise. Her eyes moved to his as she realized he thought she had stolen it! This bloody, love-sick wanker!

          "Thanks, Potter, but I can handle this myself," Cordelia shot at him, giving him a look as Winnie held back a smirk. She already knew what his next move was and wasn't nearly at all surprised when he reached forward and tried to untangle the scarf from her neck.

             "I have a name," Harry spoke. Suddenly, Winnie tried to move his hands away from her neck. Watching as he glared at her, the girl snorted slightly before stopping and letting her hands fall to her side. She stayed still as she let Harry take the scarf off her neck, glaring at him slightly only for being such a bloody wanker. "It's Harry. Call me that, please."

             Winnie took this time to eat another slice of pizza, the mushrooms off the portion and piled on Harry's like a mountain. She watched as her cousin said Harry's name for the first time, her eyes darting between Cordelia and Harry as they stared at each other. The girl smirked, chewing the food in her mouth with a happy thought running through her mind.

          This would be a cute moment to tease them about later.

          However, the moment was positively ruined when Cordelia turned to look at Winnie. Who's eyebrows wiggle suggestively at her cousin, popping the last bite of her pizza in her mouth as she winked, looking back at Harry, who was utterly oblivious. She watched with a grin as her cousin quickly muttered a goodbye and vanished from the archway, leaving behind a blushing Harry Potter and a smirking Winnie.

         "So, my cousin is cute, isn't she?" Winnie drawled, a smirk across her face as Harry's eyed widened, his face reddening like a cherry.

          "Oh, shut it, will you," he mumbled, a laugh breaking out from her face as she snorted, reaching over and nudging his shoulder with her hand. Just for a moment, she forgot what it was like to be worried about the burning in her stomach and the magic swirling through her veins, and instead, she wondered just how easy it would be to play matchmaker.

EDITED APRIL 17TH, 2023 // hate this chapter too but its okay. love you all xoxoxo