[IMPORTANT! READ ME!]
Yes I know that this isn't Be more Chill and I'm so so so sorry but at the moment I'm failing algebra I'm having friend issues with her boyfriend and my world is crashing into me guys I'm trying please understand.. and without further adou...

Sincerely Three
Not requested
A little rant made by me
Angst
~~~~~~

Evan inhaled shakily at the mic and walked forward
"C-Conner M-Murphy was my.." he paused and carefully articulated his next sentence he inhaled and started over

"Conner Murphy was my boyfriend. And seeing him gone..rips everything away from me.." he choked on his words "I remember..sitting in a field with him once and I asked him what he wanted most in his life and.. he said he wanted death.."

Evan started shaking and the paper started to crinkle in his hands, Jared sat up, fearing he might have a panic attack

"I t-told him..that.. sometimes death can be a want but that doesn't m-mean you need it..I kissed him and told him I l-loved him very much a-and he can't leave me alone in the w-world" Evan sniffled and looked at Jared for comfort

"O-on May..18th..i-i walked over t-to conners and went into his bedroom window a-and..my b-boyfriend I loved w-was just hanging there.. his body b-bloodied and..and" Evan couldn't finish his sentence, he started shaking and crying, Jared ran up to the stage and hugged him from behind, trying to provide comfort

"N-Now..I-I can't say that I haven't..tried to off myself before.." Evan gripped his cast as his mother gasped

"But..I broke my arm..after that..I kept going..I didn't have a reason but I did.." Evan stopped crying and blinked
"I-I figured people wouldn't mourn..so what was the point..silently rotting is much more painful than anything I could ever afflict on myself" he stood up and pulled away from Jared

"I'm just Evan..the guy who can't make sentences..look at me now Conner..aren't you proud? Proud that at your school recognization I can stand and say the world was to blame for your death? Not just the world but his parents.. no..not Cynthia just Larry.." he said gripping the podium, whispers and mumbles broke into the crowd

"Maybe..Maybe it was me.." Evan started to tear again

"You were so worried about my anxiety.. Conner..I never noticed what was going on in your life.. the days you smoked I passed it off as your addiction telling you to stop which you hesitated to agree with, the times you bled from the many scars on your arms I kissed them better but scars never fade, and before I knew it..you were gone faster than I could save you..maybe you were to far gone to be saved..when I read your letter to me I cried..couldn't sleep..I still don't eat.." he said the last part quietly and opened a crumpled tear stained piece of printer paper

'Dear Evan Hansen..
today is not a good day and here's why because today..I left you.. all alone but now I'm free, free from the yelling and the pain I cause on people, Evan..I want you to remember that some people can't be helped if they don't want it, and no matter how hard you try some people are just to far gone to help, I regret leaving you in a such a world where you would be bullied just because your different but Evan..don't stop being different don't stop being the acorn I fell in love with and to Jared the man who I least expected to fall in love with.. I want you to take care of him.. and remember

I'll love you both, for forever

Sincerely,
Me'

Evan inhaled and wiped the tears on his face

"Very c-close friends and family have been helping me with my grief but n-nothing could take b-back what I s-saw and the s-scar inflicted deep I-into my heart" He ran back stage and as the audience was in stunned silence he sobbed to himself and rocked himself back and forth, hands came down onto his shoulders as the person pulled him into their chest, he inhaled to smell bath bombs and soap

He gripped Jared's jacket and pulled away

"I know you miss him Evy.." Jared trailed off and sniffled to himself

"God I miss his stupid smoking.." Jared smiled sadly and cupped Evans cheeks

"W-why didn't you s-speak Jared..?" Evan looked up at him

"Because if I did.." Jared paused "I would've broke down besides..our love life deserves to have some secrecy" he winked and Evan made a disgusted face

"Lets go home.." Jared said taking his hands as they stood up, walking out, hand in hand.

Dear Evan Hansen,
Today is going to be a good day. And here's why: because today, Me and Jare finally let Conner go..

All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way
This way

All we see is light
Watch the sun burn bright
We could be alright for forever
This way

All we see is sky for forever

"All we see is sky for forever"