"I found you high in some run down apartment with some sleazy drug dealer who kept calling you Gia." His jaw twitched.

He was angry. I swallowed, feeling like I had been caught doing something wrong but it had been surviving for me.

His eyes intent on mine.

"Who is Gia?" he asked, his voice rough.

I pressed my lips together, not wanting to explain what he had probably guessed already.

The silence stretched on.

"You can't hide from yourself Hadley. Changing a name doesn't erase your past or what happened to you."

I laughed out loud. "Yeah, I know that Jack." My insides felt prickled and uncomfortable. "No matter how much I want to forget, I can't."

I swallowed, hating how he could say something like that. I would be forever in that dark room haunted by what I had endured.

He stared at me from across the room.

I hated how he seemed to see right through me, past the junkie that was just looking for her next fix.

My temper sparked. "You left Jack."

He lowered his gaze from mine, like he couldn't face the truth of my words or what I had spiraled into without him.

"When I needed you, you left." I dropped my hands to my sides, hating the aching feeling in my chest, like there was a gaping hole where my heart was supposed to be.

"I was so focused on finding her, nothing else mattered," he sighed. Heavy and emotional. I braced myself against the sorrow that would wash over me at the mention of her. "I blocked everything else out. It was just her."

My lip trembled, the pain was heart wrenching. I was back to the girl who had witnessed horrific things and been unable to cope. The dark tentacles from my trauma began to wrap around me, a reminder that I would never be free.

It took a few moments under his gaze to ask the question. "Did you find... her?"

Is that why he was here now? I wasn't sure I was ready for his answer.

He shook his head. "All these years and I'm no closer than the day I found you."

She was out there somewhere. It broke my heart, I shut out the pain as best I could for fear it would drown me. My hands trembled and I grasped them together.

I swallowed the emotion. I couldn't think about it, for fear that if I allowed myself I would not be able to pull myself back. And I couldn't go back there. In the darkness, alone.

"Why have you shown up now?" I asked, finally.

"I need you to sit down," he said, nodding to the sofa but I refused to budge.

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "I'm fine right here."

I was afraid of what he was going to say and keeping my distance physically from him gave me some sort of control in this situation.

He put a hand to his waist and pulled the other through his hair.

"Just spit it out," I told me, feeling agitated and afraid of what he was about to tell me.

"He's back."

The room echoed. All I could focus on was the words he spoke. I couldn't accept it, it couldn't be true. I shook my head slowly.

He. He.

He's back. Fear trembled through me, shaking away any bravery.

Jack was closer. His hand wrapped around my arm, I stared at him unable to process what he was saying. His mouth was moving but I could decipher nothing.

I flashed back to the darkness where I could hear his footsteps and the fear as real as it had been then. Then I was back with Jack. I gasped like I had been punched in the stomach.

I could focus on nothing but him.

Next I was on the sofa and he had my hands in his. I stared down at where his hands were on mine, I couldn't feel anything. I was there in mind but not body.

I blinked and then everything rushed back. Inhaling sharply I tried to get breath into my starved lungs but I couldn't fill them.

"Breathe," Jack said and I tried to but I couldn't seem fill my lungs.

He shoved my head down between my legs.

"Just breathe," he soothed but all I could hear was my heartbeat echoing in my ears.

He.

I closed my eyes. I wanted the darkness to give me peace but no matter how I wished for it, I stayed in the reality. Terrified of what was to come.

"Come on Hadley. Breathe," Jack continued talking me.

Air filled my lungs in one swoosh and I held it.

"Exhale," he instructed, his hand moving in a circular motion on my back.

I tried to block out everything other than his gentle commands. I couldn't think about what he revealed or how that would impact me.

The truth was I was still living in the nightmare that I had entered the day my world changed. I had used drugs and bad situations to keep myself sane.

"No," I said when I could finally inhale and exhale. This was a reality I could not accept.

"Hadley." He touched my arm with his hand but I shot to my feet and moved to stand across the room from him. Putting distance between him and what he had revealed.

I couldn't deal with it. I paced trying to come to terms with what his revelation meant for me.

"No," I said again, trying to fight back for some control in my spiral.

"Had," Jack said, closer.

I stopped to face him. "No. I won't do this. I can't do this." The sting of tears threatened but I couldn't cry for fear it would unravel the little control I felt I had.

"I can't do this," I repeated to Jack. The anger quickly replaced with fear. I trembled.

"I can't," I breathed, feeling helpless. Tears began to seep down cheeks as I looked to Jack.

He tugged me into his arms. "I won't let him take you too."

The pain tore through me, like my insides had been shredded.

I closed my eyes wanting to hold onto his words and carve them into my reality but he had left me once before.

I shook my head but he held me close. "You left." It was an accusation.

He held me tighter. "I'm not going anywhere Had. We are in this together, until the end."

It was an ominous thing to say but I understood.

"We are going to find him this time, I promise."

I wanted to believe him but it had been three years and we still had no idea who had committed such a heinous act.

I shivered, unable to stop. It was fear and withdrawal of the drugs that had helped me survive this long.

"I need a cigarette," I said, pulling away from him.

I couldn't stop feeling jittering.

He walked over to the bag of stuff he had entered with and threw a box of cigarettes at me. I caught them.

He tossed a light as well. I tore the cigarette box open and took one. Then I lit and took a deep drag. It burned my lungs but I didn't care.

"No more drugs Had."

I stopped to face him, taking another deep drag of the cigarette while I crossed my arm across my middle.

"I can't stop." I shook my head, exhaling the smoke. I wouldn't give it up.

"It's not going to help," he argued but I refused to listen.

"It's the only reason I'm still here," I breathed, feeling the emotion get caught in my throat at the expression that settled on his face.

"You're going to kill yourself if you don't stop Had. I won't let you die like that. You survived for a reason and it isn't to overdose in a crappy apartment with a sleazy drug dealer who doesn't give a fuck about you."

I backed up against the wall and took an anxious drag at the cigarette. His words were hard to accept, even if there was some truth to them.

"You survived Hadley. Against all the odds you escaped. If you die like this, he wins."

His words were hard and it broke something inside of me. The protective layer that had kept me hardened.

There was a part of me that had wanted to die that day, trying to live with what happened seemed far worse than death.

"I'm still there in the dark Jack," I admitted. The truth was raw and painful. "I never truly escaped."