The beginning of training was marked by the arrival of a large looking woman. 

Not exactly overweight, but very heavily built. She had a permanent scowl etched into her face and her features reminded me of Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid's Tale. I almost wanted to laugh, between our white dresses and ritualistic lives, this felt a lot like The Handmaid's Tale.

"Hello dears," She began. 

I instantly disliked her. She wore a white blouse tucked into her navy pants. Neither of which helped her larger figure in any way. I bit my tongue This was going to be a long one.

"Hello," Came the mismatched chorus, apparently I wasn't the only one unsure of how to address our new Keeper.

"My name is Pauline, I will be your Keeper for the duration of your training. You will address me as Madam Pauline. At this time you are mere children awaiting guidance, however, I will make you into women, worthy of the men that have chosen you,"

Instantly I began fantasying of a revolution. Maybe if I convinced enough of the girls to be pissed off as well, I could... I wondered to myself.

"You, undeserving, whores of the world," Okay, that went from zero to a hundred. "You are not worthy of what you have been blessed with. The sooner you understand this, the easier this process will be,"

I wanted to sneak a glance to the other girls around me to see if they'd had the same kind of reaction that I was internally feeling, though I was sure that if I moved, I'd be singled out immediately.

"Perhaps, let's begin with introductions," Madam Paulin gave us, what I'd be sure would soon be an infamous smile, "My name is Madam Pauline, I was raised in the world and am a founding member of this community almost twenty years ago. I was saved from the world and I am grateful for it. Now, let's begin,"

She nodded to one of the girls at the end of the row. She gave the 'you mean me?' look, Madam Pauline gave a sharp nod. "Well... My name's Darcy, I'm from Vancouver,"

"No." I didn't know a single word not shouted could be so sharp, I flinched at its ferocity. "No my dear," Madam Pauline smiled graciously.

"I-I'm sorry?" Darcy stumbled.

"No my Dear, what you meant to say, was that you were saved from the world. You may have been born into the world, but you are a part of a select and lucky few who've been called out of darkness into a new era of light. Labels don't mean anything here. Say it again,"

"Well," Darcy stumbled, clearing her throat, "I was saved from Vancouver-."

"The world," Madam Pauline corrected, I was beginning to squirm. "It matters not from where you were saved. But it is the world. Doesn't matter if it was the left corner or the right, it is still a cage. A cage of which, you have been liberated. Say it again,"

Darcy takes in an unsteady breath. "My name is Darcy. I was saved from the world when I was fifteen. Ever since then, I have been a part of the community, hoping for the day that I may be selected for the greatest fulfilment. I am now seventeen years old and I hope to devote my life to a lifetime of serving in the fields and providing for my brothers and sisters within this community,"

A stellar answer, Madam Pauline thought so too. She gave a slight smile and turned to the next girl. It became a script; my name is 'this', I was saved/liberated from the world. I am 'this old' now. I hope to serve my brothers and sisters in the community through 'career choice here'. It was formulaic enough that by the time it was my turn I'd already prepared my 'script'.

"My name is Marian," I gave a small, anxious smile, "I wasn't liberated from the world until very recently. I'm eighteen years old and while I am unsure of how to best serve this community however I look forwards to serving alongside my husband in the best way that I can in the future,"

I watched Madam Pauline's face for a reaction. There was a coldness in her eyes as if she was staring into my thoughts and could sense my inner intentions. I defiantly stared back, giving her no reason to be suspect. She broke away first.

"Next," She called out, her voice in that usual sharpness. The next girl repeated her script. Charlotte wanted to be a Mother and a herbologist, Lou wanted to be a hunter, and Anjie wanted to work with textiles. Once we were finished, Madam Pauline called in Hayley.

"This is Lady Hayley, she will be personally overseeing your unit and work. You have all vocalised your aspirations and she will see that you are fit to serve in such roles. Diligence and aspirations are to be admired. Hard work also. You will not receive free rides or easy passes here. If you eat, it will be by your own hand. If you are warm, it will be by your own work. Nothing comes for free. You will learn the meaning of hard work and you will develop an appreciation for all that you were given when you were children. All the best ladies, there is not failure here, there is no option for dropping out unless you want to reject the man who loves you so as well. I look forwards to hearing reports of your development,"

There was no final greeting. She simply left.

...

The steps were worse than what Eli had originally let on. They were icy and scary. Some kind of leak had left them in a permanent state of frost and ice. I couldn't imagine sprinting up these at the crack of the morning.

Lady Hayley lead us through the bunks, I made sure to call the bottom bunk and closest to the door. Lou, Anjie and Charlotte called similar bunks.

"I can already feel a draft," Charlotte complained to me under her breath as she took up her residence.

"Remember ladies, once the bell rings in the morning, you have less than two minutes to reach the Mess Hall before the doors are locked. No exceptions, no sympathies. We run a rigorous program here and we can't tolerate compromises or latecomers." Lady Hayley had a thinner and younger frame than Madam Pauline and her hair was swept into a low bun. "Let's keep moving,"

Lady Hayley led us back up the steps. There was a certain thrill to them. Luckily if I stuck to the handrail, the steps often had more traction. By the time Lady Hayley led us back into the hall, I collapsed into my chair, breathing heavily.

"Madam Pauline introduced you to the way we do things. But we have a pledge here. You are women who've been seduced by the world," She paused for dramatic effect, "Your men have chosen you out of a world of harlotry and sin, now, it is your time to be purified. How lucky you are to have been chosen to be cleansed."

How lucky.

I suppressed a scowl.

There was a rumble of agreement around me, running with the script I'd formatted in my head, I nodded.

"We take the promise as a reminder of the goodness we've been shown every day. Repeat with me."

"I have been called out of darkness.

I am nothing, I am unworthy.

I dedicate myself, to fight for the kingdom, so that the world may know a pure era.

I recognise the darkness from where I've been and I am thankful for the liberation provided to me.

I swear to dedicate myself to the work of the Community. That we may cleanse the Earth and bring a new era to it."

A chill crept over my back as I repeated the words. My stomach stirred, feeling sick.

"We're now going to take you through a quick medical examination one by one. After that, you'll be directed to the kitchen where you can prepare your own food for dinner. I recommend getting an early night's rest." There was a double meaning to her words and I shifted uncomfortably.

She called the first girl forwards and led her into a side room. 

We started to mill around and chat casually. To distract Anjie, I chatted with her about her hair.

"It's very nice," I gestured to the long locks, they were almost reaching her hip.

"We have to keep them like that," She spoke shyly.

"Oh really? I didn't know that," My words were a little absent minded. A few moments later, Lou pulled me to the side.

"Hair is key long as a sign of a hardworking person," Lou explained, her voice hushed, "it's only ever cut if you've displeased your husband or parents or if you're a bit of a whore. They don't really have makeup and stuff here so hair is what's good. That's why all the guys have long hair. It's the same for men. Kind of like a social status, the longer your hair is, the better of a person you are,"

"Ah," I nodded slowly, "thanks,"

Suddenly, a muffled scream and a sob emerged from the other room. I whipped around but there was nothing to see except the door. Conversation stopped and while no one made a movement towards the door, there was a certain, foreboding air to the room.

"Continue your conversations," Lady Hayley's annoyed tone rung out, "sometimes the tests are a bit painful,"

Knots, even more so than before, were doubling in my stomach. I shifted uncomfortably. "That doesn't sound good," I whispered to Lou.

Lou shrugged, "What can we do?" She was right but I didn't like it. Slowly, women were called forwards. There was a few sobs and loud noises but no more screams. Eventually, it way my turn. I gave a worried glance to Lou and shuffled forwards.

I entered into a medical-looking room where a middle-aged man in a white, formal shirt and pants moved back and forwards. "Hello?" I asked tentatively. I noticed the two guards by the door.

"Come in, what's your name?" He didn't bother to look up, his mouth set in a bored line.

"Marian," I answered, standing awkwardly. 

Where were the torture equipments that warranted a scream from before?

"We're doing a general skin check, I'm going to need to get you to undress completely,"

"I'm sorry... What?" I asked, shocked.

"Go into that side room and undress, hurry up please, I have many more of you to work through," His tone hit a nasally drone.

"I don't think-," I started. I saw the guards move forwards, in the back of my vision.

"Hurry up," the doctor's complacent nature was gone now and was matched by the same tone that Lady Hayley and Madam Pauline possessed. Was everyone in this 'community' this bitter and angry?

His words got me to move. Remember the plan, I thought to myself, whatever it takes. 

I undressed quickly. Perhaps the faster I got it off, the sooner I'd get it back on. But as soon as my clothing was off, I felt really uncomfortable. I dully remembered getting undressed for a spray tan back for formal. Back then, I couldn't bring myself to take off any more than my underwear.

"Arms up," He instructed. I complied, completely exposed. He slowly moved around me, looking up and down and occasionally moving back to his clipboard. Not once ever touching my skin. 

Well, at least he's apathetic about it. One slight benefit to this whole ordeal I guess.

He zeroed in on a mole that had taken residence on my back. I flinched away from his scrutiny and he shrugged, looking away.

"Over to the wall," He gestured, I complied. Then I went through the motions- a height and weight check. My blood, sugar and cholesterol levels were all checked at one point or another. He stuck things down my throat and in my ears and looked into my eyes. He never let me re-dress throughout the whole process but I kept my mouth firmly shut.

As my patience began to wane he asked about my cycles and other... odd things. "You are not longer yourself but have sworn yourself away," 

His words were a bitter reminder.

"Alright, you can get dressed again, I need you to sit in that chair over there," 

I don't think I've ever gotten dressed so quickly, my shoes in hand, I padded over to the chair. A woman ducked inside. Her dark hair, ramrod straight.

"Please relax," She had a heavy accent. "I'll be just trimming some of this,"

"I just got my hair done a few weeks ago," It wasn't so much a 'please don't ruin my hairstyle' but more of a 'why are you cutting my hair'.

"It's community standard," was the reply.

Uncertain, I sat. The woman began clipping away. I remembered to before I'd left Australia. The family was excited; no one had ever gone on a trip for so long so I was a presence that was going to be missed. Mum had insisted on taking me to the hairdressers (her shout) telling me that having a good haircut on a bad day, helped. There was some groaning, but eventually, I couldn't refuse a free haircut. So I'd gone along. She's trimmed it up and added some layers and some of the harsher days of the trip, I'd looked at myself and gone 'thanks Mum, it did help'.

The woman had cut my hair so it was now just touching my shoulders. I looked at the defeated locks on the ground. The final end of an era I guess.

"You're done, you can go off to dinner now,"

I had to bite my lip and not scream and when the urge to do that subsided, I sighed. 

I just want to be home, I don't want to be plotting my escape that could kill me. 

I just want to be home... with my Mum and Dad.

Madam Pauline was right, I was a child.

Resigned and rather defeated, I moved out of my chair. My footsteps were padded against the floor as I walked into the chaos that was the dining room. Quite a few girls were sobbing on the benches. It took a moment but between all the hair tugging, I gathered that the previous screaming had been about loosing their locks.

So shallow, I wanted to laugh. Instead, I shuffled by, searching the cupboards for food. I found the bare bones of rice, meat and broccoli. Letting myself cook on autopilot, I wandered about. I needed to eat, my sixth sense told me, I have a long night ahead.

One by one, Lou, Charlotte and Anjie walked through. Lou was angry, Charlotte was silent and Anjie was in tears... again. Eventually, with their selected foods, we made up a clique, eating in angry silence.

"So..." Lou started, "that was crap,"

I agreed, finishing the last of my rice. "I think we need to go to bed as soon as possible. We've got a long few weeks ahead of us," I pushed away from the table and made my way down to the frigid dormitories alone. Leading myself through the ritual of having a shower and prepping for bed. We were given a towel and a nightgown but still no underwear of any kind.

There was a general quietness to the room. As everyone was in the process of winding down before bed.

Suddenly, Lady Hayley arrived. She had a serene look about her and her hands were clasped. 

"Everyone to the front of their bunks," her voice was sharp. We all shuffled to the end of the cots, looking to one another nervously. Last time Lady Hayley had arrived, we'd been stripped down naked and our hair cut off in choppy lengths.

"Perfect!" She grinned, "now, do not sit or lie down until breakfast,"

An audible gasp echoes around the room.

"Those who do, will have to repeat this exercise tomorrow. If you see a friend sit or lie down, we'd like to know and you will be rewarded! Have a great night! We'll be watching!" Almost psychotically, she flicked off the light, letting the only light source be the soft glow of the outside lights streaming through the window.

As soon as she closed the door behind her the room bursts into a flurry of gasps and whining.

"She can't be serious," I hissed to a pale-looking Charlotte. She gave me a grim look and a short nod. 

She was serious. 

My stomach lurched. My sleep had been splintered last night between drugs and a lower-tier abduction and now I was being forced to stand for the entire night. "She can't be serious," I whispered again to myself.

She must've been, because for the next five minutes the girls shuffled back and forwards, keeping the blood running from their feet.

"There's no way that she's serious," I wanted to whisper to myself. I searched the room. I needed to sleep. Especially tonight, tomorrow would no doubt be a massive day and I needed to figure out a way to get something in.

"I give up!" One of the girls hissed, throwing her hands up in the air and falling onto her bed. Within the next ten minutes, two more followed.

My mind wandered as I wrapped the doona around my shoulders. Then suddenly, an idea struck. Lou, Charlotte, and a tearful Anjie watched as I dug through various items.

"It is possible to sleep standing up," I whispered to the girls as I worked. "But you need to find a way to both keep and and keep yourself from tipping over," Using the jumper and dress from today, I tied myself to the bed frame and used the backing wall as my resting point. I'd tied myself into a burrito using my doona and niched a pillow between my head and the wall. Overall, I was surprisingly comfortable (aside from the whole, standing up bit).

The others spent the next five minutes watching to see if it would work. Through slitted vision, I watched as they began to shuffle. They began to form their own versions of what I nicknamed 'The Butterfly Cocoon'. Then there were some who opted for old fashioned standing. Their ghostly dresses reflecting the moonlight.

Yeah, I thought to myself, take that for intuition!