It was the first time that we'd slept together in the same bed since before. I found myself tangled in Eli's arms. It was nice. Like Eli would be able to defend me against the world. And the fairytale slowly dissipated as I worked on removing myself from his embrace.

"Marian?" Eli's voice was sleepy. I turned slightly.

He reached out, his fingers brushing against my sleeved shoulder. I didn't even have the energy to flinch.

"Marian," He whispered again.

"Yeah?" I breathed.

"Can you look at me?" A moment. I turned, shuffling over. He presses a hand to my cheek, looking into my eyes, "Marian, something needs to change, you and I both know that we're both stuck here,"

I shook my head, "I can't believe that, I-I can't,"

Eli almost invisibly bites his upper lip, eventually, he nods. "I get that, but can we at least agree to get along?"

He's the whole reason you're here in the first place! A part of me cried.

Maybe that was marriage. Putting your head down and figuring out. Compromise and sacrifice were words used so fleetingly in action blockbusters but when it came down to the wire, compromise and sacrifice seemed to have come from oneself.

It wouldn't be all that bad. Eventually I'd be freed from house arrest, I could hopefully regain some semblance of a reputation within the community. Maybe I might even find happiness in my new, created family. It was a simple life, a lot less complex than the chaos of the outside world.

I pressed my eyes shut.

Don't cry.

I managed a small nod.

"Sure, why not?" The words were uneven. Eli's eyes creased.

A small step.

...

I'd never really appreciated bread until I had to make it with my bare hands. In Training, they'd taken us through the process but it still gave a semblance of appreciation to everything that I had before.

Stop doing that. I corrected myself, stop bringing something that'll never happen up.

Accepting my fate was putting it lightly; I'd given up altogether. My prayers had slipped from my eventual freedom to patience and endurance and finding peace and joy in all things.

Had I raised the white flag? Had I admitted defeat? Probably.

But the funny thing with choice was that there was usually never two great options. There was only a good option and a slightly worse one. This was a good option.

Maybe there was a resistance network within the Community. Maybe someone was working to oppose them and one day, I'd walk out onto the porch and there would be cops turning up to liberate me.

Maybe the notion was childish, but I was tuck it away into the deepest yearnings of my heart.

Tonight was soup. It was Christmas Eve, and what better way to keep my mind off of everything than by using a recipe I'd learnt within the community? A cross between potatoes, leeks and salmon, I added a final sweep of the pot with the spoon.

Maybe I'll jazz it up. I thought to myself, wrapping little napkins around knives and forks and dressing up the table.

The snowing had paused outside for today and it'd sent Eli into town. Normally, he was back by dusk, so the darkening skies had me anxious.

Keep in mind that dusk is about 3pm right now so he hasn't been gone too long.

Speaking of the devil, he enters, covered in close to five layers of clothing. He shakes himself off, letting the flakes fall to the floor.

"Hey!" I scolded. "I just cleaned the place up!"

Eli's eyes flick up and they crinkle at the sides.

"Good evening to you as well, madam," He chuckles, hanging up the four or so coats before standing by the kitchen counter, "smells delicious, what are you cooking there?"

"Creamy soup," I almost sung, "European recipe,"

"Oh really?"

"Yep, they taught us it in training,"

"Really huh? They didn't teach us anything valuable like that in training,"

The small chatter continued until we were mostly through our meal. It was then that Eli decided to drop a bomb.

"As you know, it's Christmas Eve,"

I nodded, my throat tightening. In another world, yesterday would've been the day that I fly home. In another world, I'd be hugging and hanging out with my family.

Not now, I scolded.

"I'd like you to dress up, there's an event happening and I've gotten permission for you to go,"

I blinked.

Wait, Eli did what? My eyes welled, don't cry, don't cry.

"Oh really? What are we going to do?"

"Well, it's a bit of a celebration," He grinned. "Of course, unfortunately you won't be able to drink but I'd imagine it'll be all the same!"

I burst out laughing, "Alright, I'll put on my best dress,"

He grinned.

'Putting on my best dress' was a bit of an overstatement. I had a single set of Training dresses from my wedding (the others taken to be reused for new Trainees), a regular dress in a light blue colour, as well as a few hand stitched items from here and there.

Let's go with the blue dress, I decided, selecting thick stockings and a heavy jacket. I intertwined two braids and let the rest hang around my face. I gave myself a quick nod in the bathroom mirror before moving back into the bedroom. Wait-.

Eli stood in the warmth, shirtless. Embarrassed, I looked away. A moment passed and I decided to steal another look. Yes, he hung out on the more muscular end of the scale. I tried not to blush, instead, clearing my throat.

"Ready to go?" I grinned.

He turned and smiled, his shirt half buttoned.

"Great! Let's grab our coats!"

My smile extended even further- outside! We were going outside! Coated and ready to face the cold, we stepped out. The fresh air was incredible against my cheeks. The night was well into darkness.

Above us, a string of coloured lights connected ours and the neighbouring houses. Houses that probably were owned by the men in Eli's training unit, and probably to the girls that I'd gone through hell with.

Where were they now? I wondered, a pang of rejection stinging through me. Eli and I shuffled forwards into the compact snow. Now's not the time.

Eli led me up to the Village Square, music and the stench of delicious food wafted down. As we made our way up the path, I got more of a view.

The coloured lights joined in a beautiful canopy. Fire pits littered the area but people danced and sung in the centre of the Village Square.

"There's one for each of the Seven Squares throughout the Community this evening," Eli managed over the din.

"Why?" I asked, "I mean, it's not like you guys are religious, so why do you celebrate Christmas?"

The music slowed- a slow song for couples to dance together. Eli pulled me forwards, the two of us pressed together in the crowd.

"Community," He finally answered, "Community is the basis of society, without Community and a shared goal, society crumbles. Christmas may not be a celebration that we all partake in, but it's something that brings the Community closer together. Therefore, it's something to celebrate,"

I gave a small nod, "I get that,"

The two of us danced, slowly, hand in hand.

As close as we were, I could only look to the others around us. They were so happy. They were laughing, cheering, hugging and the like! Just like my family.

A lump stuck in my throat and the tears began to fall. I pressed my face into Eli's chest to hide them. With one hand, he patted my hair.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

I shook my head, pulling back, "Home," I rasped. "All I can think of is home,"

A small smile crinkled Eli's face, he pulled me back to him.

"Now that's the real present... I figured it out Marian. I figured out how to get you home,"

Everything dropped within me. I could barely breathe, the only motions that I was able to do was to continue swaying back and forth.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

"Do you want to go home?" Eli asked me softly.

I'd be lying if I said that I immediately said yes. Because I didn't. I'd been so set on never leaving that I'd completely disregarded the possibility that Eli could. I nodded into his shirt, "Yes," It was barely a whisper.

He sighed, the two of us still swaying. "Can you make me a promise though?"

"Anything,"

"Keep him- or her. I'll leave you to be when we get out, but just do me a favour and keep it,"

The baby, he meant the baby.

"Where will you go?" My voice raspy.

A small exhale, he was laughing. "I'd like to imagine that I continue on a global campaign to limit the spread. Maybe a real sci fi plot right there. But travel, I guess. I'll start with Europe and then make my way through the Middle East and then into Asia. It'll be a good life," He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "But home isn't safe to talk about it, we might be being monitored. So here's the current plan- there's no trips outside between Boxing Day and the New Year. It gives the snow plower a few days off, as a result, the snow really builds up. The plan is, under the cover of nightfall while everyone's drunk from the celebrations, to get a snowmobile to a car where we should be able to drive to a car I'll have by the main road. I'm still ironing out the finer details but if you get to Vancouver, you should be safe. They don't have as much of an influence there as they would like. Don't wait for the police to help you. Get back to Australia as soon as possible. The further you get away from here, the less likely they'll be able to catch you again,"

I nodded, he breathed out.

"It's gonna be okay, you're gonna make a great mother,"

I laughed against his chest, tears starting to fall.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough," I managed.

Eli paused, stroking my hair, "Marian, you've gone through more in the last few months than most in their entire lifetimes. If you can endure swimming in sub zero temperatures, meditating in the snow, climbing glaciers without any food, then you can also make it through motherhood,"

I sighed, nodding.

"That makes sense,"