Lou let me go with a sombre sense of failure, aware that she would now have to spend the next few days out here in the woods. It wasn't all that bad. I slipped her some of our rations before we left. Hopefully that would help, scavenging for the next while.

I returned to my team. There was a communal sense of shock with one another. We'd done it! We'd made it through the final training in almost record time!

"I'm surprised," Lady Hayley herself had accompanied the driver down to meet us, "we haven't had a speedy run such as yourselves in years," A blush of pride all around and even in me, in my constant apathetic gloom, let myself celebrate. It was nice to achieve something, even if it didn't serve the master plan.

We debriefed with one another as the truck continued. Several times I thought I was going to be thrown out of the back. My hand fused onto the structure around me.

Jane was the first to notice the arrow. It'd gotten stuck in the canopy of trees. By that time, most of them were on the other side. So Jane had to risk her post and a sneak attack to grab it. It paid off and she'd sprinted through the forest, alone, arrow in hand.

There was a certain type of exhilaration from the normally nimble and quiet person that she was. Suddenly, she was a storyteller, her hands gesturing wildly.

"And I'm like! Where did we leave the baton?! I've lost it! And I'm sprinting through the forest thinking 'I can feel them chasing me!' and I was thinking of all the terrible stuff that would happen if I screwed this up. So I finally find it and it was all good," A bubble of laughter echoed around us. It was then to me to recount my side of the story- a chase, sprinting through the woods, falling to the fort and facing off Lou. We ended the stories with a round of hi fives.

The truck rattled as we returned upwards. This time, we didn't go to the training grounds. Instead, we were presented with a large, white tent of some kind. It reminded me of the carnival types.

"Welcome to the trials," Lady Hayley gave a grandiose wave to the area behind her. My stomach dropped. What have they got in store for us now? "Against common knowledge, your final trial is actually a set of trials. You'll be marked and graded depending on how you respond. Such responses will determine what professions you can enter into within our community. The greater your scores, the greater your opportunities!"

I tried to suppress a snort. Such grandiose was reminiscent of my high school years where they exaggerated the impact that our finals would have on the rest of our lives.

I looked around. The buzzing celebration had ceased, the girls looked weary. Most of us had our mattered vests on. My cargo pants were still soaked at the knees from my return across the river. Shards of blue paint still ran up my arm, I was certain that the skin underneath was probably already blistering painfully. Charlotte looked weary, there was some blood dotting her hairline from the flash bomb that started it all. I noticed that she still had her gun firmly grasped in her hand. Her skin shimmered with sweat. Charlotte shared the same, grim but weary look as the rest of the team. In our deep green vests and cargo pants with our telltale white blouses peeking out from underneath our parkas, we looked like a squadron of teen soldiers who'd just been told that they would not be returning home for Christmas.

"We'll begin with a test!" Lady Hayley beamed, beckoning us towards the tent.

I realised that I'd forgotten how to write and to the same effect, read over the past few weeks. Where I'd once spent years of writing long lines of prose into the early morning, I struggled to form a simple sentence.

We started with simple, multiple choice answers. It ranged from literacy to mathematics to history. Then it was longer form answers. We had to repeat sections of the manifesto that they'd drilled into our heads as we'd trudged through snow in the early morning. Occasionally we got different answers, fahrenheit to celsius conversions, the exact number of weeks for the third trimester. It continued until my neck was sore, my legs were stiff and my mind was swimming, ripping a part useless facts for answers that I knew a lifetime ago.

It took me three hours to complete the test. There was no clear time limit or objective. Just, answer the questions.

I was the first to hand my paper in and then I was directed outside.

"Here's your next instructions," An unfamiliar face said. She had the same uniform as Lady Hayley on.

"Thanks," I managed, blinking rapidly. It was dark and very cold outside, the snow illuminated by the ghostly lighting.

"You have twenty-four hours to get to the checkpoint. You'll need all the items in here," She pulled up a hiking backpack and slammed it onto the table, "-to survive. It's a long journey and I'd suggest getting a start tonight. We're expecting a blizzard tomorrow,"

"It below freezing out there," I gestured to the dark rimmed around us.

She shrugged, "Here's a gun, keep yourself safe. Don't die,"

She placed the rifle in front of me, the other tools that I'd need for it, nearby. I sighed, a dark thought flickering through my mind. A part of me wanted to pick it up and take her hostage. Maybe I'd be able to negotiate for a car and then I could make my escape.

No. I looked around us, the dark was manageable, I wasn't afraid of it. Many more before me had undergone similar trials and succeeded. I could do this too. I had to hope that my message had gotten out somehow and I had to hope that when I performed well enough that I'd be posted with Eli.

I slung the backpack onto my shoulder and picked up the rifle. Ripping open the letter, I read through the instructions. Hike to the next checkpoint within twenty-four hours where one would get a period of rest. I mapped out the mental image, it looked to be mostly along a valley about thirty or so kilometres, the avalanche points shown in red. There was going to be a lot of walking ahead of me.

There was a seeping gloom on the horizon. I'll give myself a half hour head start. I decided. I ran through a quick inventory of what was in my bag, crackers, jerky, water a few protein bars and a handful of fruit. There was a sub zero sleeping bag, elements to create a fire and a tarp. A knife, flares. Just enough to survive for the day but just enough not to die if I got stuck in a precarious situation. I spotted a satellite phone, however it was only receiving one number.

Map and compass in hand, I began trekking. It was a well-worn path. Half an hour into the trek, it was extreme gloom all around, the world only lit by the torch in my hand. This was a mistake, I thought to myself, searching for a place to stay. I decided on a more open area to set up the makeshift campsite. I cleared some of the snow and started a spluttering fire in the cold.

On my sleeping bag, I took in the events over the past two days. The planning, Eli's final words, Lou's bitter cries. My mind eventually wandered to a point where thinking became useless. To comfort myself, I absentmindedly chewed on a stick of beef jerky, watching the stars draw themselves along the sky.

"Dear Heavenly Father," I whispered, shuffling into the bag, "thank you for today, thank you for your provision, thank you that I am alive and well. I pray for your protection and guidance in all things, I pray for a productive day tomorrow, I pray that you lead me to escape back home. I thank you Lord, for everything. In Jesus' name, Amen,"

I slept in the sleeping bag with my shoes on and my face practically against the flames. The rifle just beside me, unconsciousness took me fast than expected.

...

The next morning began with a solid start. The sun was just cresting over the mountains which meant that it was probably about seven in the morning. I was late already, and had only a few hours of absolute sunlight.

This drove me to hurry. I seized my makeshift campsite, kicking out the rest of the coals and beginning the trek ahead.

I kept to a faster-than normal pace, stopping at only every hour and then once to fully relive myself of the strain. I had, at best, nine hours to cover the distance to the next checkpoint. A normal walking pace would send me into the night and then I'd be pushing my time limit for the twenty-four hours.

You can rest once you get there, I promised myself, breaking into a jog for the downhill run.

Stuck with the world around me, my mind wandered. I thought of Eli, did he know? Was he worried about me? Did he think that I'd get there in time? And what about Charlotte? Lou? Anjie and the others? How were they going? I hoped they had the sense to conserve their energy when they could before they were sent out here.

It was beautiful. I admitted that to myself. The mountains were stunning, soaring in their glory and awesomeness, I was a simple speck, navigating my way through the greatness.

I kept myself entertained with humming childhood, Christian songs. Soon enough, 'Father Abraham' became my marching tune set the pace for how quickly I moved.

When the sun began lowering, my mind turned to creating stories, little scenarios. A police helicopter would fly over head and drop down.

"You're the missing Marian, right?" One of the good looking police officers would shout at me.

"Yes I am! Guess I got lost hiking after I was abducted by a cult," We'd both laugh, I'd be flown out of this valley and the good looking police officer would help me through the court dramas and we'd slowly get to know one another throughout the process. He'd admire me for my inner strength especially under pressure and I'd love him for his service. We'd settle down, get married have a kid with blonde hair and blue eyes like his-.

I was conflicted. The police officer I'd been dreaming about was Eli.

"That's dangerous," I hissed to myself, hoping the verbal scathing of myself would get my mind out of the gutter, "do not become infatuated with the enemy. You'll make things a lot more difficult,"

I wanted to reply that Eli was different. Instead of being my enemy, he was my cellmate. He was the first one here to show me compassion or kindness. He'd brought me food, stayed meek in the face of me screaming at him. He'd been respectful on the night of the Claiming. He'd patiently explained the rules, what to expect and even gave me insider tips. He'd respected me enough to wait until I'd pushed him into it. Even then, he'd been gentle, kind and caring.

No, Eli wasn't my enemy, he was my cellmate. Perhaps when I tried to make my big escape, he might even come with me.

A little part of me stirred, I liked that idea. We'd both change our identities to protect ourselves from any kind of recognition. I'd take him back to Australia and show him the heat and the beach, introduce him to my parents. We'd get married and rely on one another as we privy to secrets and experiences that only the other knew.

A lump formed in my throat. Yes, that was my favourite scenario. It'd require a little work. I'd have to slowly wean Eli from the community he'd grown into. It may hurt him a little, doubting and questioning the world he'd been raised into. But in the end, it would be better that the two of us stayed together.

Then we'd leave together. I could glaze over the scars of the past month or so by the joking addition of a boyfriend.

I snorted at the thought. Imagine that, at church and introducing Eli to the elderly members and my friends.

"So whose this here?"

"Oh, this is my fiancé,"

"Really? How did you meet him?"

"Well, it all started after I got abducted by a cult..."

I did grin at the thought of that. Deep down, I knew that I'd changed in a way that I probably would never be able to verbalise. And it scared me a little. I knew the whole, initial solo trip over here would change me, but I wasn't sure of in what way.

How had I changed? I began to ponder. I'd learnt how to fire a gun, how to fight with knives, how to raise a kid, how to fish and serve salmon, how to have sex. 

And I'd also learnt a few more lessons... That freedom meant nothing in the face of an opponent with a bigger gun. I'd learnt that the many privileges that I took for granted, only mattered once I'd lost them. I learnt the feeling of realising that I may not see my family ever again.

A pang of sadness crossed my chest. If we could just stop worrying about home and focus on the current objective, that'd be fantastic thanks.

I looked upwards, the sun was starting to silhouette the mountainside. 

Thought I squinted a little smaller, I saw it! A small, cottage-looking house on the side of the trail. The checkpoint.

I grinned, using the last of my energy to sprint the final leg.

...

The next few days were quiet and filled with tension. I awaited my instructions for the next trial. For the first day, then the second, and then the third. At every chance, I made sure to eat whatever I could, building all the calories that I may need for the journey ahead.

I made sure to keep active, small, ten minute loops in the morning and evening. It helped me clear my head for the day and peaked my hunger for the next meal. I cooked the vegetables, then the breads and grains and then the rice. I experimented, drawing from my few weeks of training to make stuff that was exciting and interesting. There was no need to catch fish as I had all the frozen salmon that I needed.

The night I'd spent in the cold had taken its toll. I spent the few days fighting off a heavy onset of the flu. Every morning, I was bent either over the bowl or shivering next to the fire. It made the bi-daily walks more essential and my hunger for food, insatiable.

On the late afternoon of the third day, certain that they'd forgotten about me, I received my instructions for the next mission. A dusty iPad lit up and read through what I'd need to do; another trek through the wilderness, this one seventy kilometres over three days.

Is this some, stupid way that they want to kill me? I was ready to throw the iPad across the room in a fit of anger. 

Instead, I sighed, letting the heat subside and setting my mind to the next goal. I was only allowed to take what I thought that I'd be able to carry. Putting my anger to use, I selected carefully, favouring short-term serving items over the others. I ended up with a surprisingly full backpack but the same bare, essentials as before.

I began my trek before the morning rose the next day. While it hadn't snowed like on the first, expected day, it'd certainly kicked up a blizzard shortly thereafter. It became less about getting to the next checkpoint and more, making sure that I was on the right trail.

Despite that, I'd made good time. I was lucky to pick up smaller rodents for extra protein as I walked. I would stop for three time in a day. Never keeping idle for more than twenty minutes at a time.

Ahead of schedule, I sighted the next checkpoint before midday on the third day. I'd barely set up for five minutes before I received my next trial; catch an animal to eat for tonight. A more menial task. I wanted to snort. 

The water's edge was a bit of a scuffle but eventually I set up trot lines to catch a lucky fish and traps for the rodents. By nightfall, I had my meal; a thinner looking squirrel.

"Well," I spoke to myself, the flattened creature on the board in front of me, "at least we'll get to spice up tonight's dinner with some extra flavour," Initially hesitant, I cleaned its parts and set the meat and bone to broil in a broth as I took the other traps down.

After that, I was instructed to go to another checkpoint. My final checkpoint. Here, I guessed was where the last of the bigger trials would take place. However, this one was another, shorter hike. It began in the morning and I had twenty-four hours to reach it. Already my muscles screamed. I'd already, officially walked over a hundred kilometres in the past five days and I was about to embark on another leg.

I don't understand all the hiking, I wanted to moan, dragging my feet through the icy snow. What is it testing us for? Why am I even here? How long am I going to be here for? Questions spun through my mind, dancing flimsily.

I walked at such a pace that I reached the checkpoint before dark fell. I was grateful for it, a momentary cheer. The checkpoint was a single pallet in the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. The mountainside sloped down into a valley where a river crusted into ice. In the pallet was a few measly building supplies; tightly bound furs, a few wooden planks etc.

'Prepare a home for your chosen partner as he searches the woods to find you. You may communicated through your radio on channel (2).'

"Is this some kind of joke?" I scowled, throwing down the note, spinning around. My eyes prickled with tears, my hands clenched. My back and legs are sore. Blisters almost covering my feet.

I couldn't help but fall to my knees in the ankle-ankle-deep snow. I'd been walking for almost a week through soaring glaciers and scary avalanche zones and now I was expected to prepare a home? I surpassed the urge to burn the instructions and scream and cry like a child. This wasn't fair. This isn't fair.

I fell to the snow. There was nothing on the mountainside but a rough teepee of sticks and the snow ascension of snow and rock above me.

There's nothing for me here, I wanted to sob. I hit my fists into the snow, defeated. A guttural scream releasing through me. I pounded my fists into the snow, a thrumming rhythm until I hit hard rock. Tears blurred my vision and I dug my face into the snow.

My energy sapped. Perhaps if I stayed here long enough I would not longer be able to breathe. Maybe I could finally escape. I was too tired, my strength strapped thin.

I let my eyes drift close. It was too much work... It was...

I jerked upwards, struggling for air, throwing myself back into the snow. I scrabbled around, struggling to breathe, my face wet with tears.

Snow stuck to my face. I stood, looking around with a new light. The sun was in the distance, it was almost midday. It sent harsh light bounding off of the mountainside, I had to cover my eyes from it. A certain peace overtook me, the world was stunning. It was like the pages of a travel magazine had fallen into the scenery around me. The mountains were blanketed in their snow, the sky a deep blue. Across the ridges, trees and cliff faces dotted the world. Scratch that, it wasn't a travel magazine, it was Bob Ross painting.

"It is nice," I whispered to no one in particular. I took in a deep breath, nothing would get accomplished with me simply sitting and screaming in the snow. Another deep breath.

It was time to get started.

...

Time passed slower here. It was a struggle to both set up and get fully running. I focused on building a suitable shelter and finding food. Exposure was the thing most likely to kill me. In the absence of that, my mind wandered. I thought about Eli, and Lou, and my family. I ran through a hundred different scenarios of what would happen once my trial was 'finished' and occasionally I wondered what would happen if my trial never finished.

That'd be nothing more than a cruel joke.

I lost hope at seven marks on my counter. On eight, something odd appeared.

I'd been lost in thought, thinking about what my next plan was when the radio, sitting atop my newly seated bench, started to crackle.

"Hello?" The rough crackle came through. I jumped towards the radio, seizing it with an animalistic frenzy.

"H-Hello?" I asked, searching for the reply knob, I found it, thumbing it down, "Hello? Hi?"

"Hey," Another reply from the end, I breathed a sigh of relief, and also disappointment. Somewhere I'd hoped that I'd picked up a stray hunter who'd interfered with my signal.

"Eli?" I asked my voice trembling. A brief, second.

"Hey," came the garbled reply, "how are you doin?"

I laughed, my sobs racking with a slight hint of mania. "Yeah," I sobbed, "I-I'm good,"

"Wait, are you okay?" Eli's voice, always concerned, always considerate. I laughed, doubling over and falling to the floor. I hit the button again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay now," I sniffed. I'm okay now. I did my best not to let the tears slip out, crumpled on the floor, I let me head rest on the makeshift bench besides me.

"That's great to hear! I was so worried about you!" Eli's voice was so cheery. Another tear slipped out and I sniffed, suppressing a laugh.

"Yeah, it's been pretty hectic... Eli, w-what's going on? Why am I here? How long for? I-I have no idea, sometimes I thought I was stuck out here forever,"

"It's okay," Eli promised, "I'm on my way, I'm going to find you,"

"What does that mean?" I sighed, "It's a week long hike, there's always storms on the distance,"

"Hey, it's gonna be fine, I have a compass, and I think this is a map," My stomach dropped, "I'm kidding I'm just about to begin. I have about four days away from you,"

I breathed a sigh of relief, "Four days, okay, I can do that. I think I was going crazy for a while,"

I heard a shuffle from the other side, "Really? I mean yeah, being out on your own for two weeks can do that to you,"

"Two weeks?" I gasped, my head spinning. 

I remembered on Alone, some people barely lasted for a few hours. Sure, I had some checkpoints and food given to me, it was more like Survivor than Alone but it felt painful and dramatic all the same way.

"More like thirteen days, but pretty close. Sorry, I've started walking, I'll probably have to let you go, you're probably super busy,"

I looked around the makeshift home that I'd created. A raised bed, a bench, a fireplace and a smoking rack. Outside, I'd made a table and chairs. Further down the river, several trout lines and a few nets. I had way too much time on my hands.

"Not really," I spoke absentmindedly, "got the place locked down here. I was just got up and was about to check the trout lines. There's been nothing about but I've been using the gun to hunt and I've got a few traps out,"

"Oh? Caught anything?" Came Eli's excited reply.

"Yeah, I got really really lucky with two salmon and I've mostly otherwise been hunting rodents. I've got half a thing of rice but that's in the event of emergencies,"

"Very smart," Eli praised, I tried not to blush. I drew a finger across the floor around my legs. The chill was seeping in and I stoked the fire.

"So..." I trailed off, "what's the game plan? What do I do once you get here?"

"I have no idea," Eli spoke gravely, "I guess we're just going to have to prepare for the long run. They gave us almost nothing to eat so its going to be very interesting when I get there,"

My stomach dropped, I turned to look towards the smoking rack. I had one salmon left, split into two portions.

"Okay," I sighed, "I guess what's that they meant when they told us to prepare the home,"

"Oh? So they did tell you what to do,"

"Not really, ugh, it's just been hectic. Make sure you get here soon as possible, but stay safe. I want you to get here alive,"

"Okay," Eli laughed, "I can try to promise that,"

"No promises," I insisted, "you will get here,"

A laugh, "Okay, I promise," I let myself relax. Not only was Eli my best option for escape but he was my only... friend.

Okay, maybe a little more than just a friend.

"I better go, I'll call at nighttime okay?"

"I'll make sure that you do," I replied, my hands fused to the radio.

"Well, I'll hear you then," He replied happily.

"Til then," I replied.

"Til then," He whispered back. The lack of crackle had indicated that he'd signed off. I drew my knees up to my body and let my head rest. I tried not to cry. 

Eli was coming.

It was going to be okay.

...

And that became our schedule, chat in the nighttime, just before the both of us were going to sleep. We talked through supplies and strategies. I complained about feeling sick with the flu, Eli never did. We spent ages talking into the night. I was always the first to remind him that he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow.

I would spend the days walking up and down the river, checking the traps, the net and any other thing that I'd left out. Two days after Eli had made contact, I caught what I concluded to be a Grouse. Later in the day, I struck double lucky with a duck as well.

"Great hunting season!" I chuckled. The snow had been early this year and Winter didn't come until December. Before, I would've outright baulked at plucking a bird, maybe attempting it on a dare, now, I couldn't wait until it was ready.

I recycled the feathers into both kindling and a half-attempt at making a pillow. My sleeping bag had a hood but I'd been mostly relying on my arm for support, the slight amount of support would be appreciated.

Eli suggested that I fortify the roofing section to keep the hut warmer. At that time, I only really had a tarp and the fire to keep me warm. He led me through the process and we created a half attempt at tiling and creating insulation. Thanks to the flu, it took me two days to finish.

"Well if you're arriving tomorrow, it was kind of unnecessary," I complained to him that night, it was followed by a sniff and my voice was croaky. While we could radio in to one another at any time, this was the time I looked forwards to most in the day. I'd spend the night alone, thinking of what it'd be like once Eli was beside me.

"It'll be good," Eli promised, "I should be there just before midday,"

"I haven't cooked you anything," I sighed. It'd taken me only a few meals to finish off the birds, even pushing myself as much as I could. I was lucky enough to add another salmon to the rack. But I watched it now, glistening, tauntingly in the low light. I swallowed, my stomach churning. I was just so hungry all the time. "What would you like tomorrow?"

"Anything will do," Eli laughed from the other end, "I ran out of rations this morning and I've mostly been drinking water,"

"Oh my goodness," I tried not to gasp, sounding like a worried mother, "make sure you don't try to eat the ice. It'll just lower your body temperature,"

"I know, I know," Eli laughed, "don't worry, I'll be there soon... tomorrow!"

"Yeah," I whispered, a grin stretching across my face, "it's been kind of creepy being here all alone..."

I trailed off, content in the static silence. Eli was going to be here soon, two of us was a much better team than one. We'd help one another out and we'd be much stronger.

"What are you gonna do when I get there?" Eli asked, teasingly.

I chuckled, "Well I'm gonna make you something in the morning, and then I'll wait outside for you and when I finally see you I'll give you a hug,"

"O-kay," Eli teased, I knew that tone of voice and tried not to snort.

Alone made it look a lot easier than it was. Every waking moment for almost the last three weeks had been filled with anxious waiting and incredible boredom. I'd kept moving towards a goal, unsure of the finish line, terrified and completely and utterly, all by myself.

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm going to give you a lot more than a hug," Eli laughed, I joined in.

"You're an idiot," I laughed. For a second, I went to say something else, something a little more heartfelt.

And... I think, I love you.

I bit on my lip to keep them from slipping out. Playing with emotions like that was dangerous. You needed to focus on escaping. Escape was the goal, not hanging out on the road to getting there. I needed to stop screwing around and focus on finding a way out.

And yet... A little part of me hesitated. I'd been here for something like eight weeks. I'd walked along the borders, and for five days in the wilderness without so much of a hint at finding any decent civilisation. Eli had let it slip that there was a city a few hours drive away but I almost wondered if he was mocking me.

I tried not to cry. 

Eli wouldn't lie to you like that. My mind assured me. I took comfort in that.

A little part of me knew, the longer I stayed here, the longer I waited, the harder it would be to escape. If we got out of the wilderness, we'd probably return to be married. Then we'd be set into a routine of normalcy and the longer that I lived with Eli, kidnapped or not, the harder it'd be to leave.

And... I think I love you.

The words stirred in my mind for hours afterwards.