20th October, 2022

When I knew she was going out with him, trust me, it hurt more than expected. Frankly, I wasn't shocked she was going out with him. In my mind, I was sure she would love his company. I didn't meet the guy. I have just seen his pictures, and I am sure is a great person deep inside. I mean, he earns much more than what I could earn after working for 5+ years, he has multiple properties, and he can take care of her needs.

What is love though? When I started loving Evelyn, I didn't see how much her father earned, or if she could earn for the added corpus of my family. I loved her for what she had – a great personality and a caring nature. Frankly, I have tried hating her since, but I can never bring myself to hate her. In the process of writing the book, I remembered a lot more than I could pen down, but I cannot remember a moment where I hated her. But I guess my definition of love is distorted. I never cared for the money my partner would earn, the status she came from, and her parental properties. Heck, I never even thought about all of these aspects like the way others thought. Maybe I had always been a loser!

Anyways, needless to say, I was fighting a bout with someone out of my league. I am an employee of a private company, while he is a well-renowned oncological surgeon; he earned 3x times my salary, so who would care for mere earrings bought with money saved from monthly expenses, from not eating out or sometimes even not buying the essential medicines; when you can get 3 times the gifts, with added condiments of time, calling for the whole day and of course educational and study assistance.

You might say I am a Mechanical Engineer as well, and you would be right. However, my soul was forever aligned with the subtleties of software development. I fell in love with it, and heck someone felt insecure about it, I guess? Anyway, I knew much more about how memory stacks worked, how programs were executed, or how catchy UI designs were developed on Java; than clutches, brakes, gyroscopes, turbulent flows, and heat engines. It was obvious that we changed. I guess love changes context as we change.

I can hear you saying, "Then why don't you guys go on your sweet paths?" I wish I could do it as easily as she did. Maybe she had found her forever person, while I was hanging on a fragile rope, trying to find a support. It's a mistake to confide your life into the embrace of one person. In her, I found my world, my survival, and my happiness, and now she was going. Those last few days still haunt me, the uncertainty, the doubts, the little beacons of hope, and the tsunami of hopelessness. Finally, when the asteroid of truth arrived, I realized that even though I loved her, she was my biggest mistake!
___

There are some days in our lives that we hope we can forget,
While there are phases in life for which we only regret;
The last call I had with my love, was nothing short of a nightmare,
A call I wish I never picked up, a pain for which I could never prepare.

She seemed quite changed after she met with this new friend of hers,
I was used to her phone being engaged, I was being left lonely, just like my fears;
Then one day, she called me up, all serious and composed,
"Babe, everything is fine?" I asked; She said, "He has proposed."

"Wait, what?", I said in disbelief, "That can't be true!"
"It is", she said, "and I guess it is time I get the love that's due."
"What do you mean, babe? Could you explain it to me?"
"Do I have to explain it?", she asked, "Can't you see?"

"He's treating me like a Queen, he is giving me all his time",
"But I am in a private job", I said, "It's not my crime!"
"I didn't ask you to join them, you chose your job over me",
"Remind me of a single day when you are free?"

She continued, "He comes running when I need him, he takes me where I want",
"He is giving me so much time, ways in which you can't";
"He respects my tantrums, and doesn't change my verdicts and views",
"He understands my needs and wants without being given any cues".

"He takes me to outings, and I see a future in his embrace",
"I have seen your second-grade romance, I don't want to be a disgrace";
"Do you think you can keep me happy; you don't even have a say in your house?"
"I wouldn't be lying if I said you are meeker than a mouse!"

"It's okay", I said, "I had been nurturing a snake",
"Choosing you to be my partner, that was my biggest mistake";
"It's hurting to know that you cheated on me, it's funny you didn't care",
"But I wish you both stay happy, a satisfied and respected pair."
___