Namjoon sipped on a hot chocolate as he sat on his window seat and peered out his apartment's window. It was a cool day he supposed, based on the fog that coated the window and the fact that it was nearly winter. There wasn't much going on in the streets below his window. There were a few kids out, mostly older ones who were headed off to the shops just a little ways from the apartment building. The occasional person or hand holding couples would walk by, but not too many. The area wasn't as busy as it was in the summer and Namjoon was very grateful for that.

The salmon haired had decided not to go into work today, as you could tell from Namjoon's sweatpants which had achieved ultimate comfiness in the hours he had been in them. He just needed some time to let what Seokjin had said sink in and to think about the things that were on his mind. It was sometime in the afternoon, his hot chocolate wasn't so hot anymore, maybe just chocolate at this point, after all, he had made it earlier in the day. He had just been taking sips of it when his mind was alert enough to realize that he was indeed holding a mug with some form of liquid in it. This was one of the few moments where he wasn't completely absorbed in his own head and was able to put the mug to his lips.

His eyes were currently sat on a little bluebird tending to its nest. It was tidying up the small little space and further building the walls up with some twigs and twine that it had most likely found somewhere around the surrounding area. It was a little perfectionist alright, it didn't seem to like any of its designs. A second little bluebird flew down from somewhere in the sky and seated himself next to the other one before nuzzling into it. They were lovers. How cute. It made Namjoon smile seeing them so happy.

His smile faded out of surprise as he saw Yoongi's car pull into the parking deck across the street. Maybe that wasn't his car, Namjoon tried to rationalize. There were plenty of Hyundais in the city, hell, even the salmon haired had one. It wasn't until the mint haired walked out of the parking deck and held the door for a smiling brunette that he realized that that wasn't just any Hyundai.

Namjoon dove off of the window seat and threw his left over (not so) hot chocolate into the sink and quickly rinsed the cup out before putting it back into a cabinet. He changed pants in his bedroom as quickly as he could, and while still trying to get his right leg into the pair of pants, he hopped into the living room and began straightening up. They couldn't be too far from his apartment, it had been some minutes since he saw them out the window. How had his place gotten so messy? He swore it hadn't been this bad before. The knock at the door startled him slightly. He straightened his shirt and went to the door. He took a breath and opened it.

"Hey, Namjoon!" Yoongi said, smiling at the salmon haired.

"Hi, Hyung." Jungkook said softly.

"Hey, guys. What are- What are you doing here?" Namjoon asked.

"Oh, we thought we'd stop by and see how you were doing. It's been a while since we last hung out."

"It has." Namjoon said, suddenly feeling a bit guilty, "Sorry about that, I've been a bit busy recently. Haven't had much time to myself."

"That's alright, would you mind if we come in?"

"Sure, sure, come on in." Namjoon stepped out of the way and let the duo through the door, "Take a seat," He gestured towards the sofa.

The two sat down and looked around the apartment. Namjoon was pretty sure Jungkook had never been here before, unless he had broken in at some point without the salmon haired knowing, so everything was pretty new to him here. Yoongi on the other hand had been here once or twice when the two had carpooled together to work and back and the mint haired insisted on walking Namjoon back to his apartment. That was most likely how they got up to see him, the guard had recognized Yoongi and therefore let them go up. With all that had been going on in the world, security had tightened up a lot more and visitors had to be confirmed by a resident to be allowed onto the upper floors.

The apartment was like any other apartment, Namjoon supposed, than again, Jungkook did live in a pretty crappy place compared to the older's. The only difference between his place and Yoongi's was the fact that he had a set of stairs that led up to a loft that he used as a bedroom, it also was a bit less organized but that's beside the point. The main room was painted a soft baby blue and had an open floor plan with the kitchen, dining room and part of the living room visible from one spot. The stairs were in the living room in the back left corner and a bathroom in the right corner. His furniture was still the same as it had been when he was still with Baekhyun, simple and cheap. As said, things had been tight when they first got here and it was all they could afford, however just because they were cheap didn't mean they weren't nice.

"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" Namjoon asked as he followed the two into the room.

"No thank you, anything for you, Jungkook?"

Jungkook shook his head.

"Alright." Namjoon sat down on the chair across from the sofa, "So, um, how are you guys?"

"We're good. How are you?" Jungkook asked, looking over at Yoongi who nodded.

"I'm good too. Again, I'm so sorry for not hanging out with you guys. It's been so busy recently."

"I get it, don't worry too much about it." Yoongi said.

"How's living together going?"

"I think it's going good, what do you think, Jungkook?"

"It's good other than this guy leaving me to get the groceries. Seriously, how did you live without me?"

"I lived perfectly well, thanks."

"Yeah, sure. I've found the remote for you fifteen times and it's only been a week."

"Oh c'mon. Namjoon tell him that I can live on my own."

"Hyung, I'm going to have to side with Jungkook on this one. Losing the remote fifteen times in a week? Really?"

"Listen, okay. It's usually not this bad." Yoongi's eyes widened, "Wait a second. Hey, Jungkook, you're the one losing my remote."

"What? No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! Who else would be losing it? You're the only one home!"

"I'm too scared to even touch your remote, why in the hell would I lose it?"

"Why are you so scared anyway?"

"I, uh.. You're scary when you wake up and it's scarred me!"

"I can't believe you, Hyung." Namjoon said shaking his head lightly, "Trying to pin off your deeds on an eighteen year old who has a broken rib and nose? How sad."

"Thank you, Namjoon Hyung." Jungkook said, sending a smile in Namjoon's direction.

"Well, I- Damnit, alright, I have a problem with losing things, but at least I don't break everything I touch."

"Flimsy stuff."

"Not this excuse again."

"But it's true."

"Whatever floats your boat." Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"I've missed this." Jungkook commented, smiling.

Namjoon hummed.

"So have I." Yoongi said, turning his head towards Namjoon's direction, "It's been quiet without you, Joon."

"We've missed you, Hyung."

Their gazes were so soft yet they penetrated his heart and hit him where it hurt. Guilt began rising up in his chest. He had left them alone, they said they missed him, what was he thinking deciding to stay away from them? Who was he to make them feel like this? He couldn't be what they needed, he could never be what they needed, so what was the point in trying?

Namjoon gulped his thoughts down for a second and stood up, "I, um, I-I've got to use the restroom, I'll be right back." He walked at a fast pace up the stairs to the loft and into the bathroom.

He closed the door and sank down against it. He couldn't believe he ever thought he had a chance with them. Who was he to think like that? Someone with dreams that were up on a shelf way too high. He loved them, but he wasn't deservant of them. He needed to stop and think about them too. They deserved so much better than a useless hunk who could never make them happy. Who got scared and ran away far too often. Someone who could no longer trust people out of fear.

Trust. He wanted to trust Yoongi and Jungkook with his heart. He really did, but all of that trust had gone to his past lover. What had happened with Baekhyun was a mistake but there had been trust involved. So much of it too. Trust in each other to be there. To support and help one another and for a while that had been there. He could see it and feel it. He had been loved and built up by the older instead of being knocked down. There was trust that they wouldn't go behind each other's backs and do things the other wouldn't approve of. Trust that they would never do anything to hurt each other. Trust in the words that had left each other's mouths. Trust that bad things that had happened really wouldn't happen again. Trust had been the basis of everything, and now, he had no trust left to give.

Back then, he hadn't been what he was now. Back then, he easily would have been able to give his heart and the trust that almost immediately came with it to anyone he showed interest in. He had given all of that to Baekhyun, and so much more, because he knew him and knew that nothing bad could ever happen because of it. His trust had been much more flexible once. A few small incidents had happened before their move to Seoul, but Namjoon had just brushed them off. After all, the older had promised that they never would happen again. After the move, these incidents became more and more frequent, but they just bounced off of the back of Namjoon's head and right back into, "It'll never happen again, babe! I love you so much!" and guess who always just smiled and snuggled into those words.

That faith had been strong until it hadn't. He gave up all hope, all faith that things would be as they were when the relationship first started. Yet he still stayed around. He stayed because he believed in Baekhyun. He believed that he would see his mistakes and try and correct them. Then it became, he loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me. He loves me and I know he does. I shouldn't give up just yet because he loves me. And that kept the poor boy with the older male.

The last few weeks that they were together, Namjoon really thought that Baekhyun was trying to change and fix things. It had been like the beginning all over again, and for the first time in a while, he felt truly happy being in a relationship with Baekhyun. He could feel his faith returning and that made him ecstatic. Ecstatic for the future. What would Baekhyun do next? Who would he be next? What improvements would he make for himself and their relationship? Those questions were never answered. They never showed up, like how Baekhyun never ever did and it was a year and some months later.

It was crazy how Namjoon kept waiting for the sound of jiggling keys to come from the lock in his door even though he knew the older had left his keys on the counter. How he kept his ears strained for the sound of his work shoes hitting the floor and his briefcase being left by the dining table even though he knew that he stopped doing that after he first went to a bar. How he expected to hear the stairs creak as he climbed the steps tiredly even though he knew he was gone. How he could still feel Baekhyun's lips on his as a greeting even though he really knew he was gone. Baekhyun was gone. He had left him behind for someone that had only ever been a friend. A friend to the both of them, that's what hurt so much.

Chanyeol. He had trusted Chanyeol too when he first met him. Baekhyun had introduced him to Namjoon when they first got together in high school. He was a pretty man, Namjoon had to give him that. Deep black hair that was styled very loosely, but in a somewhat pretty way. His eyes were a deep dark chocolate brown and his fashion sense was always one step above everyone else's. He was a really nice guy. He was funny, friendly, and had an overall great personality. These things really put Chanyeol in the spotlight of girls' attention and wanting. Maybe it had just been the way he acted around people he barely knew, but it didn't seem to go to his head as much as it might others.

He had been one of the first people Baekhyun had met when he first moved to Incheon. Chanyeol had moved there as well when he was in middle school so he understood not having very many friends and being in a new location, so Namjoon paid no mind to when they hung out sometimes more often than the two of them did. They had an understanding of each other and knew each other slightly longer than Namjoon did.

When Namjoon and Baekhyun finally got together and broke the news to the school, you could see the disappointment on Chanyeol's face. Namjoon had been too naïve and blinded at the time to see that Chanyeol had obviously wanted to be in his shoes. Chanyeol was in love with Baekhyun. Chanyeol remained one of the couple's good friends throughout it all. Namjoon even got to the point where he considered the male one of his good friends.

The day they moved to Seoul, Chanyeol was no where to be found. He wasn't there when they packed up. Not at the farewell party. Nor was he was there when they drove off and waved to their friends for the last time for a while. He didn't call. He didn't text. Nothing for weeks, months even. He was just gone.

Then, one day, he reappeared. He popped up and acted like nothing had happened, like he hadn't fallen off their grid for an extended period of time. He had texted and said that he was living in Seoul now, had a great job, and wanted to meet up at some point. Baekhyun had seemed on edge, like something about meeting up with the male made him uncomfortable, but Namjoon at the time had attributed this to not seeing their friend for a while and agreed. That one decision was the catalyst for the end.

In retrospect, Namjoon was sure that the reason Baekhyun had wanted to move, other than for college, was to get away from Chanyeol. His cheating must've started in High School with Chanyeol. Their moving was meant to get away from the male so Baekhyun could continue with the relationship without the guilt. With Chanyeol being willing to move to Seoul just to see him, Baekhyun fell back into the habit. He started seeing the younger more and more often, more than Namjoon who went out shopping with him whenever he was available on the weekends.

Chanyeol had always been more lively than Namjoon was. You could usually find him at a party on Friday night on the dance floor while the then brunette would bury his head into a good book or a TV show. Baekhyun had always wanted to see himself as a partier. He couldn't handle his drink nor could he keep a cap on his actions post-drinking, causing him to be pretty reckless. He needed someone to be there and keep him in check while still having a good time and Namjoon obviously was not that person. Chanyeol on the other hand, Chanyeol was always willing to go out with him. He was always willing to drink and dance. To go clubbing or partying. He was someone that Namjoon was not, and that had to be why Baekhyun fell out of love with him every night that he went out.

He began seeing Chanyeol as more than just a way to escape a boring relationship. He began to see him as what he could be having if he was willing to just take a risk. And so, he did. He left a good, safe relationship for an adventurous risk. He took off and left Namjoon without so much as a word. He left him to sit and wonder if he wasn't good enough. What he had done wrong. Baekhyun had been so nice, he had never thought that he would be able to do something like this to him, but as Namjoon grew to know, there is a difference between nice and good.

The difference became very apparent to him after he met Jungkook and Yoongi. They cared about him, like genuinely. They checked up on him, always asked if he was okay. They were kind and caring, things that Baekhyun only knew if there was something in it for him.

This threw him back to those two birds in the nest earlier. He wanted that. That kind of love where the bird could always expect the one that he gave his affection to would return home. That kind of love where they put effort into being good for each other. He wanted to have a home and two people who cared for him and he them and they knew each other enough to know what they were comfortable with and what not. He wanted to be able to snuggle into his relationships with full trust and faith. He wanted the happy kind of love, something he knew he could have if he was with them.

Of course, there were so many worries for Namjoon, what if another Chanyeol popped up for the two boys? What if they stopped caring like Baekhyun did? What if they got bored? What if he could never be enough for them? What if-

A knocking at the bathroom door, "Hyung?"

"Namjoon? Are you okay?"

Things were going to change.

Word Count: 3159

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I like this chapter. Really adds to Namjoon's character.
I apologize for not posting this yesterday. I got a bit distracted with my school getting shut down for two weeks. Thank you for being patient. :)
Please check out "Control"! I have posted the intro and characters and I'd love to see what you all think of it. I love this story so, so much.
Thank you all for reading and I'll see you next week!

(A/N: For some reason I switch Chanyeol to Sehun part way through this?? I don't know why, but I've fixed it now.)