Yoongi's mom had once considered getting an apartment in Seoul somewhere. At the time, he was sure she'd dreamed of some place higher up from the bottom level with an elevator, much like his place now. An apartment within walking distance of good restaurants and stores. Where the streets were safe and she could take her small family, her husband and son, out for walks before they'd all return home and spend the evening together. The apartment would be slightly larger, two bedrooms if they could find one, maybe three if that were possible. A bathroom or two with a tub so her son could get bath times whenever he wanted them. An eat-in kitchen with stainless steel appliances that came with the place when they bought it. Maybe a big TV if they could afford it so she could watch her cooking shows in higher quality. She'd wanted a large, walk in closet where she could fit all her clothes and maybe some of her husbands, had she been feeling especially nice that day. 

Yoongi was sure that they might've been able to afford it had his father stuck around long enough to envision it with her. As soon as he left, it was like all her dreams just cut off. Her dreams were now of having someplace where she could live and raise a child all on her own. Have enough money to feed more than one mouth and clothe more than one body. It was a dream that Yoongi understood, especially now, however, as a child, thought was slightly odd. It didn't seem like a dream to him at age ten. It seemed more like something that could happen in reality over a dream. After all, in a dream, weren't you supposed to imagine a reality in which these things couldn't happen or were so far away from you? Sure, the apartment had been an achievable thing, however, could they find exactly what his mother was looking for in an apartment? It was a no from him. Could she get the money she needed to be up on her feet and supporting him? She had been doing that so far. At ten years old, Yoongi hadn't understood that the dream wasn't just to be financially stable. It was to give him the best life she could, no matter the cost.

"That was weird." Namjoon said, looking down at his feet as they walked.

"I agree." Yoongi answered.

"It just seemed so empty." 

"It really did. It was like he hadn't moved in at all."

"It bothered me when he said to ignore the clutter."

"I know! There was nothing there."

"I was expecting to see at least one picture or at least something that said that he lived there, but there was absolutely nothing."

"The way he acted by the door, too. As if he didn't want to go in."

"Maybe he didn't."

"It seems like he's never there either. He's always working and he looks slightly sleep deprived."

"He's always looked like that. Well, since I first saw him at least."

"I'm starting to think that you're right about him not wanting to go in."

Namjoon hummed.

"Something's going on, Joon."

"I know, but maybe we shouldn-"

"Did you see the way he walked around?"

"Kind of, but you can't really judg-"

"He was walking around like there was a maze in there that we couldn't see."

"Maybe it's a comfort thing? Something he's used to doing?"

"Maybe so, but it's still odd." Yoongi said, "He was so quiet before, too. It was like there was something holding him back. You remember that, right?"

"I do."

"Something was holding him back, right?" Yoongi asked.

"It seemed like it-"

"See! What could it be?"

"I think that's for him to tell us." Namjoon said, looking over at Yoongi, "I'm not sure he'd like us digging around like we are."

"But-"

"No 'but's, hyung. He'll tell us when he feels comfortable. Wouldn't it be better to discover these things because he trusts you?"

Yoongi sighed, "It would, but, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't."

"Good, because I'm not stopping."

"And that's exactly what he needs."

"You think so?"

"He needs someone to worry about him. You heard him, he hasn't spoken to his parents since he moved out and that was months ago. He hasn't had very many friends either. He needs it even though he doesn't show it. I think it's the same with all of us somewhat." Namjoon said, glancing up at the buildings around them.

"You are one deep dude, Joon."

"Yeah, but you know what's deeper?"

"What?"

"Your lyrics."

Yoongi flushed a bright red, "How in the-"

"You left your notebook in my office. It was too tempting."

"That doesn't mean you should read it." Yoongi groaned.

"I'm sorry if that bothers you, hyung. I'll give it back the second we make it to the café."

"It's fine, what's done is done."

"They were really good, you know."

"I doubt that."

"I'm being serious. They were amazing."

"I- Thank you."

"It's my pleasure. I can really tell why those guys referred to you as Suga the other day. You'd do great as a rapper."

Yoongi laughed, "If you say so."

"This is no laughing matter, you would!" Namjoon smiled.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Café Co-Owner."

"Okay, so first of all, I was complimenting you. Second of all, it was Seokjin's idea."

"I don't doubt that it was Seokjin's idea."

"It was!"

"I said that I didn't doubt it!"

"He came up to me one day and said, "No more moping about this house, we're opening a café." and I was like, "What?" and he said, "You, me, opening a café." "But I'm no good with food or drinks." "That'll be my thing, you'll be the accountant." "But-" "No buts, it's finalized." and thus, Got Jams? became my shared business child."

"Thank you for the amazing dialogue, I wouldn't have known what was going on without it."

"You are very welcome."

Now that he had his mind on it, maybe his Mom was so focused on him because she was scared he'd turn out like her. Someone who had no one to worry about them. She'd been in that state of mind ever since his Dad walked out with his suitcases all packed and a bleach blond bimbo sitting in the passenger seat of his car. Her parents had basically disowned her the day she moved out to be with him and had only smiled when they found out he'd left her. They had never liked him and now they could flaunt it in her face that they were right. 

She had no one to fall back on, to tell her they cared for her safety and well being, that they wanted her to be happy and only that. She only had Yoongi, who was too young to understand that want. Too young to understand that all she needed was for him to say to her that he cared. But even if he did, he was too young to be sincere about that. There was such a deep wound that she needed the most sincerity she could get and she wasn't about to find that in her ten year old. 

The sincerity increasingly lessened as the years passed. His teenage years came in the blink of an eye and so did his rebellious phase. The one where every second that he could was spent away from his parent. It made his heart hurt that he had ignored and deprived his mother of the one thing, the only thing she really needed: His attention. His attention that was filled with all the care and love he could muster. The only thing he could give her that said he worried. Of course he had always worried for her. He always thought that she worked too much and that it was draining her out of her, but he was still too young to realize that he needed to show her that. He still hadn't. That hurt the most. It hurt that now he was old enough to realize her intentions for everything she ever did and still had not returned the favor. He always said he would, but had simply procrastinated till it slipped his head and into an endless void of dead thoughts. 

Until now. It was only now that he wanted to dig his phone out of his pocket and call his mother and tell her every little thing he had just thought about. All of this because he now knew the effects. Knew what she wanted. Knew that she was being embodied by his young friend who was going through a similar situation. A lack of worry. A lack of care. A lack of attention. All of that, Yoongi wanted to provide. 

"So, I'm guessing this means I won't get to find out Jungkook's past anymore, huh?"

"It doesn't mean that at all. It just means that it'll take a bit more time. I think it'll be worth it though."

"I think so, too. I think saying we got his trust is better than saying we got his secrets."

"Definitely." Namjoon pressed the unlock button on his car key as they neared the café parking lot, "I'll see you at work tomorrow?"

"Now don't think you can get away with my lyrics." Yoongi smiled.

"Ah, right, right." Namjoon leaned into his passenger side and grabbed the book before handing it over to the older, "Here you go, Suga Hyung."

"Thank you, IQ 148."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Not until the day I die." Yoongi smiled before saluting and turning to his own car, "See you tomorrow, Joon."

"See you!" Namjoon's car started up and pulled out of the spot towards the road as Yoongi seated himself in his own vehicle. 

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe they all needed someone to worry about them.

Word Count: 1672

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SuperM's debut is amazing! Stream Jopping!! My Mom and I are planning on trying to get tickets to one of the November shows :)
I got to write a K-Pop article for my school's newspaper, which is totally awesome! I'm excited for it to be printed. Not only that, but I'm volunteering at a Korean festival tomorrow with a friend of mine. I'm excited for a lot of things :))
Thank you for reading and I'll see you all next week!