Chapter TWENTY-TWO

The first few days after that were fairly normal. I woke up, usually to a few texts from Nate. He came over, we hung out, went out for lunch, the usual things. I was trying hard to let myself just be in the moment, have fun, not worry about what was coming. It was proving difficult, as I really hated surprises.

   On the fifth day, I promised Talia I would take her and Tyce to Milton, to hang out with friends for the day. Talia and I were finally good again, and I was loving it. We were finally like real teenaged sisters. So, I still did her favors whenever she asked. I knew maintaining this was not going to be easy, and she was now a hormonal fifteen-year-old.

   After wasting two hours in the car driving to Milton and back, Nate was at my house when I pulled in. I was so happy to see him, I couldn't contain my smile.

   "Let's go the beach," he said, as soon as I got out of my car.

   I loved that he was so spontaneous, and I was happy to agree. I threw a towel and sunscreen and my bathing suit into a bag and we were on the road again, but this time I was happy to be in his car, with him.

   The drive was thirty minutes but it felt like it flew by. He held my hand, singing to bad pop songs on the radio, and I could tell he was trying to hold onto to more than just my hand. The way he looked at me now - it was like he was trying to figure out a way to change my mind about everything.

   "There's a beach like two minutes from my dorm," he told me casually, pulling into the parking lot area of the public beach.

   I shrugged this off, undoing my seat belt. He didn't seem to mind that I didn't reply, as I told him not to look while I changed into my bikini top. I know he was looking anyway.

  "You are so sexy," he grinned.

  "Stop," I smiled.

   "I'm serious."

   He kept his eyes on me, his hand in mine, while we walked down to the beach. The sand was hot and soft, even though the sun wasn't out. It was definitely one of the hottest days of the summer, which always happened mid-August.

   We stopped in a spot, not far from the water and I dropped my beach bag into the sand. Nate unrolled the blanket he had brought and spread it out. We sat down. From his bag, he pulled out a small cooler.

   "What'd you bring?" I asked him, curious.

   "Beer. And a surprise for after."

   "After what?"

   "After... whatever. After we swim, after we make out..."

   "Oh, who says we're making out here?" I laughed.

   He leaned in to kiss me. "I do."

   There were so many good things about Nate. He was honest, handsome, loved his family, and was always present with me. Honestly, I almost never saw him on his phone when we were together. With Tucker, it always seemed like he was on his phone talking to someone else, or ignoring me a party he had taken me to. Nate was so much better for me, in so many ways.

   "I'm going to miss you," I said to him, without thinking. I was rubbing sunscreen on my arms. "I mean, I'll miss being around you."

   He looked away, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, me too."

   I thought for sure he would argue that we didn't have to break up. I was expecting him to tell me that we could make it work. I knew he wanted to say it. But he didn't. Maybe he had already given up on that.

   We went in the lake, but it was freezing - I was wrapped in a towel not long after, shivering. Plopping down beside me, Nate wrapped both of his arms around me. I lay my head back, so I was leaning into him.

   The beach was busy; families all around us, kids making sandcastles and splashing in the water, teenagers throwing frisbees in the sand. Someone not too far down had a huge stereo and was blasting rap music. But there, in Nate's arms, with my eyes closed, it was just us. We didn't talk for a while, neither of us wanting to ruin the moment. I wanted to tell him that we should stay like this forever, but I knew better than to say the words.

   "Want to see the surprise?" he whispered into my ear, finally.

   We had already drank the beer he brought and my stomach was empty.

   "Okay," I smiled at him.

   He reached over and opened the cooler, pulling out a small plate of chocolate covered strawberries. My favourite.

   "For you," he said, holding it out to me.

   I took one and unwrapped it right away. "Thank you," I smiled at him, then gave him a kiss before popping it into my mouth. It was delicious.

   He nodded but didn't say anything, happy that I was happy.

   We stayed until it started to get dark, then made our way back to his car. I felt a heavy feeling in my stomach, like this day should never end because it was so perfect. Before I went around to get into the passenger seat, he pulled me close, leaning me back against his car. He kissed me, his mouth on mine so passionately that I let myself forget that this was almost the end. He kissed my cheek, my neck and then back to my mouth. I smiled at him, but suddenly he pulled away, looking unsure. And then he got into the driver's seat.

   Confused, I went around and got into his car, beside him. I glanced at him, but he was intentionally looking down at his phone. I wanted to ask him what was going on, but I did up my seat belt and stayed quiet.

   Back in my driveway again, I saw my Mom in the living room window. She crossed the room, took a book off the shelf and then went back to the sofa. I was still watching her when Nate finally spoke.

   "I'm scared to go to college, single."

   I looked at him quickly. "What?"

   "I don't trust myself to not turn back into that guy who sleeps with tons of girls and never calls them."

   "Just... don't do that?" I said, unsure if he was being serious. Was this a joke to him?

   "It's not that easy."

   "Why? You stopped being like that a long time ago," I told him.

   He sighed. "Never mind."

   "So you want to stay dating me so you'll have a reason not to turn back into a douche bag?" I asked him, annoyed.

   "Bea."

   "No. And actually, if you really think you'll be like that in college, that's more reason for us to break up," I snapped, suddenly very annoyed.

   He looked hurt, but I didn't care. We had just had the most perfect day, and now it was falling apart. He was looking at me with these pleading eyes, but he had no words. And I was angry.

   "I'm going to go inside," I said, not looking at him.

   He reached for my hand but I shook it off, and I didn't look back until I was inside the house, and he was driving away.