CW/TW: people yelling at each other. Guns.

(1st Person PoV)

It was chaos.

Minx and Schlatt were screaming at each other. Minx was yelling that how much of a p*ssy Schlatt was for being knocked out on the job while Schlatt was calling her names.

Why are they friends is anyone's guess.

Some people were being more a*sholes about it especially this guy named Jared.

God I hate Jared!

He keeps on picking on me, saying that why would they have a child on a "man's" job, keeps hitting on the female police officers, steals Charlie's glasses when that annoys him, bad mouths Ted, and triggers Schlatt. A lot.

He is the worst of all the a*sholes!

No one knows why he became a police officer! He is the exact example of a bad cop and not just for interrogation.

"QUIET!!" Someone shouted.

Immediately everyone shut up. Even Minx and Schlatt. Hell even Jared shut up.

The boss walked in. He had a newspaper rolled up and a tablet.

He turned it on and tapped it with the newspaper.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked.

I strained to see what was on the tablet but Ted answered before anyone else did.

"It's the news, sir," he replied.

"Good. Now does anyone what's on the news?" The boss asked.

I gulped and stood up from my desk.

"The robbery at TakenCorp's auction," I replied nervously.

"Good. Here is one big big problem. The robbery happened under our noses! Now if this were any other thief, I would have been severely pissed off BUT!" The boss gripped onto the newspaper tightly, "this is no ordinary thief."

"Sir! I'll take full responsibility for my team letting the thief run off with the necklace. They don't need punishment!" Ted exclaimed.

"No one is getting punished and you interrupted me Ted. How could you?" The boss said dramatically.

"My bad."

"So this f*cking thief is no ordinary thief, boss? The news called them a Phantom Thief," Minx said.

"Exactly! Now that's what I suspected and that's why Ted and his team couldn't catch them. It takes time to catch even one of those slippery thieves! So I'll be putting you all in teams in order to catch this thief. Make sure that when you spot the thief, don't go on your own! Now I want one team to go and investigate the thief themselves and where they may strike next," the Boss explained.

"But sir! We are cops, not detectives," Charlie pointed out.

"Yeah didn't our last group of detectives got fired by the previous boss? What was this, 13 years ago?" Schlatt asked.

"We unfortunately couldn't recruit any more detectives from the academy due to a shortage of newbies. So you'll have to make use of what little investigative you were taught," the Boss said.

"So who will be in charge of this?" Pearl, a fellow co-worker, asked.

"Since they saw the thief firsthand, I believe Ted's team should be the ones in charge of the investigation," the Boss declared.

"Now hold on a moment! Didn't they let the thief escape? Why let them take charge? Why not someone else who is more fitting and good at their job?" Jared asked.

Ted turned to stare at him.

"You dare question the Boss' authority?" He asked in a low voice.

"And you allowed the thief to run off free with the necklace. I say that I'll take charge," Jared challenged.

"Hell no! The boys and I can do it! We were taken off guard by this motherf*cker! It won't happen again," Schlatt assured everyone.

"It better not!" Minx jabbed a finger in his direction.

"F*ck off," Schlatt rolled his eyes.

"My word is final! Now get to work or get to your breaks. I will be in my office," the Boss left.

Jared turned to stare at us four.

"What is the Boss thinking?! Marriage turned him soft! How can he let a previous milkman, Four-Eyes, a literal child and dr*nkward over here take over this case!" He snapped.

"The f*ck did you just say!!" Schlatt asked but got stopped by Minx.

"Leave d*ckless alone. It's better to not start a fight with some guy who got rejected for the 15th time," she said.

"I'm going on my break," I announced and left.

I didn't want to deal with anyone here.

I changed out of my uniform and into my regular clothes.

I checked my phone.

9:15

I sighed to myself.

I guess I can go there, I thought and walked out of the station.

I got on the bus and went to Empire Avenue where one of my favorite places in the world was.

ElfCod: Hobbit Burgers and Fries

I walked in to see Scott at the cashier. He was showing someone how to operate it.

"It has a built in calculator so no need for mental math," he explained.

"Ah ok! My last job required that and it took a while to get use to," the man explained.

"Oh hey Tubbo. Is it your break right now?" Scott noticed me.

I nodded and he turned to the man whom he was helping.

"Ok Big B, this will be your first time helping a customer. Take his order, punch in the numbers, grab the order and place it over there so one of the cooks can take it," Scott explained.

"Ok....hi welcome to ElfCod:Hobbit Burgers and Fries. What'll it be?" Big B asked, a bit nervously.

I was about to say the usual but then remembered that this was his first time so I decided to actually say my order instead of calling it the usual.

"I'll have a number five with no pickles and no sauce for the fries. And I'll have a...chocolate chip cookie for the treat!" I explained.

"Ok and any drinks?" Big B fiddled around with the cashier, presumably pressing buttons for my order.

"Yes, Sprite please. Medium," I nodded.

"That'll be $15 and 38 cents. Take this number for when we call your order," Big B took a piece of paper that came from the cashier and placed it on where one of the cooks would take.

I fumbled around and muttering under my breath about American money before handing the money.

"Would you like your receipt?"

"No thank you!"

"Ok that was not too bad, Big B! And Tubbo, it's great to see you again," Scott clapped his hands.

"Great to see you again, Scott Smajor Solidarity," I nodded.

Someone poked their head out from a door.

"Oh my gosh is that Tubbo? Hi, haven't seen you around in a while," it was Jimmy, Scott's husband.

"Hi Jimmy Smajor Solidarity!" I waved.

"Been busy being a cop?" Jimmy asked as he walked up to me.

"Yeah, last week alone was draining and I'm sure you have seen the news," I muttered a bit sadly.

"Yes we're aware. Once we realized that you were one of the cops there and someone started to trash talk you, Scott looked like he was ready to throw hands," Jimmy explained.

"Really?" I asked.

I have known Scott and Jimmy since I was little. I was there when they started dating and when they got married.

They're almost like family to me...in a sense.

"Go and sit to wait for your order. We can talk more once it's done," Jimmy motioned to one of the tables.

"Ok!" I walked over to it and sat down.

It was rather quiet, only a handful of people were here.

I stared out the window and saw people go by. As usual, a wave of protectiveness flew over me. I want to protect others. I want this world to be a better place.

That's the kind of thing that gets me up in the morning. Sure it's cheesy as hell but here's the thing.

Despite being cheesy, it still works for me and I'm content with that.

The door opened and it knocked me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to see a tall person wearing a black and white sweater and the same colored mask. Red and green sunglasses were perched up on their head. Sandy brown hair were upon his head. He wore a brown trench coat that definitely did not go with his look.

In other words, a bit of a weirdo.

He turned to order some food but I could hear that he was having some trouble.

Not exactly my problem. Maybe Scott or Jimmy can help him.

I sighed. I haven't exactly been that content lately with how slow things were and Jared being an a*shole. Sometimes I wish there were something interesting and something to keep my mind off if things.

Maybe catching the Phantom Thief will give me a sense of accomplishment so I can go back and serve the peace contently again.

That's all I want to do.

"Hey if you're going to take forever to order, then let us go first!" Some people snapped.

I looked back to see the person being confronted by three men wearing sunglasses. One of them had a briefcase.

"I...I uh sorry about that. Th-this is just a new place for me to order in...," the person muttered and his eyes were staring at the floor, looking uncomfortable.

Might as well help him out so this doesn't turn ugly.

I got up, grabbed some money and marched up to the front.

"Big B, this guy is going to get the same as me. With everything or plain?" I turned to look at him.

"Plain please...," the person muttered.

"Ok plain and give this guy a sprite as well. Uhhh...medium. No recipe needed," I handed Big B the money.

"Ah ok. And any sauce for the fries?" Big B asked.

"Ketchup...," the person said.

"Ok ketchup it is. Take a number and wait until we call your order," Big B said.

"About time!" One of the men complained.

I shot a glare at him and turning away to sit back down.

"H-hey wait a minute," the person called out.

"Hmmm?"

"I just wanted to thank you. Talking with new people often makes me freeze up and especially cashiers," he said.

"But you're talking with me?" I asked.

"Uhh that's because you seem...nice," they said.

I smiled at him. Maybe I was too quick to judge.

"Come sit with me. You seem lonely," I said and motioned to my table.

"Ok," he nodded.

The two of us sat down.

"I'm Tubbo. Tubbo Underscore. He/him. And you?" I asked.

"Ranboo...Ranboo Beloved. I usually go by he/him but I don't mind they/them," he said

I nodded to show that I understand.

Ranboo seemed to be wanted to say something else when he was interrupted by someone.

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!!"

I jumped up and turned to see where that was coming from.

Two of men that were behind Ranboo in line held up guns at Big B and Scott.

"Now empty the cashier and no one gets hurt!" Man #1 said.

Big B shook nervously before Scott got in the way.

"You really think robbing us would be that easy?" He asked.

"Of course!" Man #2 said.

Man #1 began to shoot at the phone that was hanging there next to where the food was being made.

A small crash coming from inside indicated that the sound of shooting scared Jimmy (or one of the cooks there) and that they must have knocked something down.

"No cops. No call for help and empty the cashier. No one will get hurt," Man #1 said.

I ducked under the table and began to look for something that I can use.

I left my emergency gun at home because I felt like I didn't it.

I dug into my pockets and took out a taser.

Ok I can stun them and wait for everyone to arrive and take these guys to jail.

"Hey who's making noise!" Man #2 yelled.

"Ummm Tubbo...," Ranboo muttered.

I saw a pair of legs from the table that I was hiding under.

"You! Where is that small companion of yours?!" He asked Ranboo.

Ranboo was unsure of what to say due to him stuttering.

I tackled Man #2 and tase him enough to stun.

He collapsed.

"Who the hell?!" Man #1 cried.

"Boss what happens?" Man #3 appeared.

"You said no cops. Well tough luck," I held my taser up.

"Wait...brown hair, blue eyes, small...oh sh*t I know this guy! He's that Genius kid who's a cop!" Man #3 exclaimed.

"What?! This snotty nose brat?!" Man #1 cried.

"I'm 18!" I snapped.

The two of them began to shoot at me.

I swiftly jumped out of the way and grabbed a tray to deflect the bullets.

Due to the tray being plastic, the bullets left dents. I needed to do something to disarm them.

I threw the tray at them before running towards them, jumped behind them, grabbed Man #1's arm and kneed his back and shoved him down.

I grabbed the handcuffs that were in my pocket and cuffed Man #1.

Man #3 raised his gun to shoot me before getting knocked out by a large metal pan.

"You alright Tubbo?" Scott asked holding the pan.

I gave him a thumbs up.

"Whoa! That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?" Ranboo asked.

"Self defense lessons. It's a long story. Now we just need to call the police and some of my co-workers should show up," I explained.

"Heh...the only thing that your buddies will be looking at is dead bodies," Man #1 grinned.

"The hell do you mean by that?" I asked.

"What do you think he was doing before we threatened him and him," Man #1 asked, nodding towards Man #3.

Now that I think about it...

Man #1 and 2 were threatening Big B and Scott but there were three men behind Ranboo in line.

One of them was holding a brief case.

Dead bodies...

Wait that can only mean...!

"There's a bomb?!" Ranboo cried.

How did he get it so fast?

"Hahahaha! It's too late! You'll never find it in time!" Man #1 laughed.

"Tch! Scott, Big B! Get everyone out of here, get to safety!" I shouted.

"No need to tell me twice," Big B said and began to guide the customers out.

"Tubbo, are you sure that you'll be alright?" Scott asked, concerned.

"I'll be fine! I just need to find this bomb," I assured him.

"I just said you'll never find it in time!" Man #1 snapped.

I ignored him and cuffed Man #2.

"Make sure these three are out and in handcuffs by the time the police arrived," I gave Scott the last handcuffs and motioned to the unconscious man.

Scott gave me a look of concern but I turned away to look for the bomb.

Come on! Under the tables? No.

Come on! Under the soda machine? No!

Come on! In the trash? No no!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

"Found it!"

"Huh?!"

Ranboo came out of the bathroom, holding onto a very particular device.

"It was in the bathroom. Based on the dust from the clean floor and how hollow the walls are, I could pin point where ticking sounds were. I went into the men's bathroom, found an 'Out of Order' sign on one of the stalls which I called bs on, and lock pick the stall door and boom! Found the bomb!" Ranboo explained proudly.

"..."

"......ok maybe i shouldn't have said Boom. My bad," Ranboo awkwardly chuckled.

"That's...great and all but how are we supposed to disarm the bomb?" I asked.

"Disarming bombs aren't my speciality but I can try! Well would you look at that? The wires are simple! You cut the red wire. Not green though! Never green," Ranboo explained.

They look around for something sharp.

"Ah!" He grabbed one of the kitchen knives. He then walked over to the bomb and cut the red wire.

The ticking noise stopped and I was shocked.

"How the...how...who are you?" I asked.

"I told you. I'm Ranboo!" He said.

"Not your name."

"O-oh," Ranboo stood up straight.

"I'm just a...friendly neighbor detective passing through," they said.

"...............WHAT?!"

A/N: took me longer than I expected.

All my homies hate Jared! If your name is Jared.............I am so sorry.

Cya in the next one -Flare