I ran towards everyone who sat in the living room. "I'm going after Bellamy." I said as I rushed towards my purse which had my car keys. In my hast I bumped into things and my hands were visibly shaking. "What happened?" Brianna asked. I ran to the front screaming "I kissed him,".

Luckily I saw his car drive down the street when I ran towards my car. I nearly slipped on the ice but I gripped onto my car for support. I drove like a maniac to catch up with him. I didn't know where he was driving to but I wasn't going to let him get away. Ain't everyone decided to spend the day together I knew he didn't have somewhere to be.

I licked my lips and wished his were on mine once again. The taste of his lips took me to another world and I wished he hadn't ran away. I wished he stayed and kissed me harder and deepened it.

I wanted to close my eyes to savour the moment but I couldn't because of the speed and since I was driving right behind him, any mistake could cause an accident.

My phone rang and I wasn't surprised to see his name on the caller ID. I turned it to the speakerphone.

"What are you doing?" he asked. I could feel the annoyance in his tone but I wasn't going to do this over the phone, no.

"Just taking a drive, you?" I asked.

"Blake, this isn't a time for jokes. Go home." He said.

"I thought I told you not to call me that again." I said. "And it's a free country Bel, I'm taking a drive in my own car, I'll go wherever I please." I added.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Why are you running away?" I countered. I heard him sigh. "We shouldn't be kissing each other. When we didn't do it that other day it clearly meant that it should never happen again." He said.

I rolled my eyes and wish he saw that. "It also meant that we could try things out because obviously, something made us do that."

"Something stupid that shouldn't be there. Now stop chasing after me." He said rudely. I brushed off the slight anger I felt.

"Oh, but I love the chase." I said before hugging up.

Three hours of going in circles around the town was plain torture. I was running extremely low on gas and I could tell we were on the outskirts of town. I was being as persistent as Bellamy but I wasn't ready to stop yet. I was craving his touch in all the right places while that idiot tried his hardest to distance himself from me.

I phoned Bellamy and he immediately picked up.

"I like having the last word but I'm really low on gas." I said.

"Then maybe you should pull up by that gas station." He referred to the one in the distance.

"If you will then I will otherwise you'll just have to tow my car or something. You could abandon me here in this lonely place in the dark cold night." I tried to sound dramatic because I knew it would get to him.

"You can handle yourself." He said.

I gritted my teeth together.

"I wished you thought about that before you admitted to being overprotective of me. Why did you say and do all those thing when you knew I could take care of myself?" I asked him.

He hung up on me and I frowned. Just a little because he started to slow down near the gas station. I smiled as I parked by one of the meter, behind his car. I waited until he was out of his car and near the machines to turn the engine off.

When I got out he already started to refuel both our cars.

"If you just tell me why we can't be together I'll stop." I said defeated. He still ignored me. I let out a string of curse words before kicking the side of his car.

"What was that for. Kick me not my car." He said as he pulled me away from it. "I won't be doing any damage that way." I said as I folded my arms. "You heartless beast." I muttered.

"You're right, I'm heartless." He let out a humorless laugh, something completely out of character.

"Because the girl who has my heart can't be with me." He said as he started into my eyes. I took a step back when I heard those words. I wanted to know who that girl was, was she the reason why I couldn't have him.

"Who? why?" I whispered. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answer. My heart was already breaking.

He laughed again but it wasn't painful this time.

"It's you Blake, I love you."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as those words repeated in my head.

"But I can't risk anything happening to you and that's why I can't be with you." He said. I saw him swipe his credit card at both the machines and then he made his way towards his car again but I grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Why Bellamy? If you love me then you should be with me." I told him.

"You won't get it." He said as he tried to remove my hand from his.

"You're stronger than me, you can easily let go and run off again but you're standing here, next to me. Just give me a reason, please." I said.

I took his other hand in mine too and he finally turned to look at me, in a way he never did before, in a way that made me feel special.

"Jane, can we do this tomorrow. It's getting late, you're getting cold and so am I." He said.

"We have to do this now because I know once I let you go you won't come back." I said truthfully. Ever since I started driving after him I thought of this and it pained me.

"I promise, okay?" he said. I wasn't going to listen but a lanky looking man came out of a small cabin and started to yell at us to move our cars because we drove away customers when not a single car had passed by us.

"Calm down, we're leaving." Bellamy shouted at the man. His posture changed as he eyed the man. The slouchiness was replaced by a stiff look, his shoulders squared.

"I promise. Now drive in front of my car, slowly." He told me before turning me around and pushing me to the car. I was actually really tired so I took his word for it and sat in my car without a fight.

I did as he told me and he followed me until I reached my driveway. He left without stopping and we hadn't talked since the gas station.

"Blake, is that you?" I heard my mom say. "Yes, I'm going to bed mom." I yelled as I climbed the stairs.

"So what happened?" Brianna said as she excitedly jumped put of her room. I took two steps back and put a hand on my chest. "Not now." I said before slamming my bedrooms door shut.

I changed into sweatpants and a tank top and threw myself on my bed.

He said he loved me...

I heard a loud knock on my door and I groaned as I was awoken. "Bellamy is here for you." I heard Brianna say.

I jumped out of bed as if it caught fire and rushed to the bathroom. I still had the braids in my hair but my bangs fell out of them so I used hair spray to quickly stick them where they belonged.

I slipped on light blue jeans and I put on a dark blue hoodie and made my way downstairs. Bellamy leaned against the door dressed in his usual clothes. A smile stretched on both of our faces as our eyes met.

"Ready?" he asked and I gave him a questioning look. "To go?" I asked and he nodded.

I sat on the passenger seat of his car and it felt like almost an eternity since we were like this. Both of us stayed quiet and I wondered where he was taking me and when he would tell me why we can't be together, it actually sounded stupid.

We were following a road that had tons of trees on both sides of it. "You're not going to kill me, right?" I asked as we were going somewhere unknown to me. "No," he answered and I frowned at how vague he was being. Five minutes later we pulled up by a lake house. I immediately recognized it as his. The last time we came here, we were on the other side of the lake and it wasn't covered with ice and snow.

I silently followed Bellamy inside and and we stopped at a glass window that took the entire size of a wall. From there you could go out to the deck and see the entire Lake, even the huge tree at the end of it where we fell asleep at the night of homecoming. Everything looked beautiful, especially the lake that was covered in ice. I wondered if anyone skated on it.

"So why did you bring me here?" I asked as we both stared at the view in front of us.

"It seemed like the only appropriate place considering the weather and our friends." He said. I agreed on him with that because it seemed to make sense.

"So?" I asked when it felt like he wasn't going to talk.

He sat on the floor and tugged on two of my fingers. I sat cross legged beside him and stared outside.

"You can't ice skate if that's what your thinking." He said with a light chuckled. I smiled at how he guessed right. "Why not?" I asked.

"This one time, when I was just little older than Rosy, my parents and I came here around this time. We used to have our Christmas family dinners here so we would come here earlier to prepare everything." He said. I suddenly became curious about him because he never got this personal with me.

"I was playing outside and I thought of walking on the lake because it would be so cool. I barely made it five feet away from the bank when the ice cracked and I feel inside. Dad was supposed to be watching me but he left because work came up. The water was freezing cold and I couldn't scream because I was so out of it. I learned how to swim that day." He gave me a weak smile at the end before facing the window again.

"I ran straight inside to my mom and she started to cry while I clung onto her for warmth. That was the first time I realized my dad didn't have a normal job. I don't remember much but mom kept screaming at him when he came home. She didn't blame me but my dad. She kept telling him to leave the people he worked for, that this was karma for the things he did."

He took deep breaths and I wanted to stop him but the words never left my mouth.

"He tried, he taught me how to play football, he would train me on the weekends and either was normal. Until he told me I had to learn to fight, it was a secret between us. We went from playing football to training with punching bags. The summer before freshmen year started he took me to his friend. I knew something was up and all my suspicions were confirmed when dad slide a gun down the table, towards me. He was in a gang."

My breath hitched and I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. Things were starting to make sense now.

"I'm not afraid to admit I love my mom more and that day I went home and told her everything. From the training to the gun he gave me. She called my aunt and told her to take me and Rosy away. I protested but she didn't listen to me. Two days later she came to get us. There was a fucking huge bruise on her lip and she looked completely broken. Part of me hated myself for outing dad but as days turned to months, I realized it was the right thing. Mom kept us even more close and I knew she kept an eye on me but I didn't mind because I knew she was scared that dad would get to me."

I took his hand in mine and scooted closer to him.

"He came one night. He told me that I didn't have a choice because he was gang leader now and I had to follow in his steps. I punched him and told him to fuck off but that only made him happier. He said I had the potential and more shit like that so I attacked him again. He fought back this time and mom hit him with a vase to tear him off of me. I was kinda involved with a few illegal things at that time which is why he came. He got away before the police came and that's the last time I saw him."

He finally looked at me and slowly raised his shirt from the side. "He left a scar. He used a knife on his own son because I didn't agree to join him. Not entirely." He shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh.

"I kept the gun he put under my pillow. I never used it but I kept it." He said with a guilty look on his face. "And I intend on keeping it to keep the people I love safe." He said firmly.

He said pulling his shirt down.

"B-bellamy, I..." I was at a lost of words after hearing this.

"It's alright, I already knew you wouldn't want to be with me after finding everything out. Just keep this between us." I could feel the hurt in his voice and I immediately wrapped my arms around him.

"I don't fucking care about this. I mean I do but not in the way that I would stay away from you. How can you even think that I wouldn't want to be with you after what you told me Bellamy? At least you didn't voluntarily sign yourself up." I said.

He pulled me away from himself and furrowed his brows. "You don't it get. He's going to come for me again, I know it because I took the gun and when he does he's going to hurt everyone I love. I can't put you at risk. You deserve happiness and I can't give you that, not when I have to look over my shoulders all the time." He said as he cupped my cheek. Tears were running down my face uncontrollably as I shook my head at him. I didn't know why I was crying but I couldnt keep them in.

"I can take care of myself." I said and we both chuckled. "There's a possibility that nothing happens at all. Your dad doing something is a big what if. Gosh, I'm so desperate." I covered my face with my hand.

I felt him leave my side and I stayed frozen in my position. I don't blame him and my decision feels selfish but I still wish he would somehow just let his insecurities go and kiss me like he did before.

I heard him clear his thought and when I turned around, I was shocked at the sight.