6th of August, 2009
Brooklyn and Janet are 43

Brooklyn: "Have a good night, sweetheart." dad kissed my forehead before heading upstairs.

"You too, daddy." I smiled.

My parents' house was never so quiet before.

It was just me and my baby now. I had a hard time sleeping since Janet left, mostly because I've been having awful nightmares about Michael disappearing from me.

So I've been trying to stall my sleep for a while.

"What?" I asked my belly as the baby started kicking. "Don't make me get up to eat so late at night."

He kicked harder.

"No, no, no. We are going to sleep. Or at least try to."

But of course, as soon as I stood up I wanted something sweet.

I walked into the kitchen and started looking in the cabinets.

I stumbled upon the filled cookie jar, nothing it was full of my dad's favorite cookies that were probably made by my mother.

"You're lucky your grandpa loves you so much, baby boy. I'll be in so much trouble for taking his cookies." I sighed.

I ate a few cookies along with drinking a cup of milk, then decided to finally try and sleep.

Going upstairs, Paris was fast asleep in my old bedroom. She said she would wait up for me, but I doubted that would happen.

"Mommy?" she asked quietly.

"Shh. Keep sleeping." I said.

My daughter went back to sleep, and I looked around the bedroom, not knowing what do to. I didn't want to sleep, as much as I needed it. I was too scared to have nightmares again.

I glanced at my record collection, sighing at Michael's records that were neatly placed next to each other.

My Beatles albums were in the shelf under Michael's, and my eyes quickly found 'Abbey Road'. I put on a sad smile, remembering why the music wasn't the only thing I loved about the album.

Michael had bought it for me for my 14th birthday, because I always said I needed to complete all the Beatles albums for my collection. And he proposed with my favorite song from it.

I pulled it out, examining it. Once it was in my hand, an envelope fell from inside.

I put the record down gently then picked up the envelope.

My name was written in Michael's familiar writing.

I sat down on the floor, my mouth hanging open. What is this?

With shaking hands I opened the envelope carefully.

A long written letter was inside.

To my beautiful Brooklyn,

If you're reading this and I'm already gone, I am so sorry for leaving you alone with our five children. But if you find this and I'm still alive, please, come hug and kiss me like you do, and we'll go over my present for you together.

There's a box underneath your bed, I put inside it the present I made you. Once you have it, start reading the second page of this letter.

I wiped my tears that escaped without me knowing, and looked at my bed.

I dashed up from the floor, kneeling in front of it. There it was, just like Michael wrote.

I set the box down on the empty side of the bed, then grabbed the letter and took a seat.

Slowly, I opened the box. Inside it was a photo album I had never seen before along with five wrapped gifts.

I searched both my parents' albums and your dad's to find all the early pictures of us together. It was hard, but definitely worth it. I just hope you'll like this.

I love you, Brooklyn. So, so, so much. You have to know that. Every night I say thank you to God for knowing you. You brought me so much joy. And not just me, my family, too. Janet wouldn't be the same person without you in her life.

Tell the kids I love them, and our little baby. But only if I'm really not here anymore. Oh, and don't forget to give them the second part of this letter, along with their presents. I want them to know how much I love them, okay?

Again, thank you for everything you gave me. I love you.

Michael Jackson
05.20.2009

He signed his autograph, and I noticed a tear on it. I hurried to wipe it off.

My hands were still shaking as I picked up the album, putting it on my lap. Gently, I opened it.

Every picture had its own page, and included a full description of Michael's memory from the day it was taken.

The tears didn't stop as I went over every picture.

~

Prince: "To my first son, Prince Michael... Not only did you bring me the joy of being a father, but you also showed me what unconditional love is. I am so proud to be your dad, from the first moment I held you, up till now. I love you, so very much.

To my amazing baby girl, Paris, words cannot express how lucky I am to have you. You will always be my princess, and my one and only girl. I truly love you, my Parry.

Kammy, it had always been a dream of mine to adopt a child, and when we adopted you, my dream came true. You have to know that your mother and I love you. I just love you a little bit more,"

Mom chuckled sadly, stopping me from reading what dad wrote for Blanket.

"Last but not least, Blanket. I know how hard this must be for you. But, remember that you are a very smart, caring, sensitive young man and I believe that you will accomplish anything you want in life. Just remember that even though I might not be here anymore, when you're sad, you can always go to your mother for guidance, because she knows you better than anyone. She'll be your shoulder, you only need to open up to her a little bit. I love you, baby boy. Remember what I taught you - never let anyone get to you." I continued.

"He wrote your names on each of his gifts." mom said.

"Mom, did you read this letter?" I asked, noticing the last paragraph that was written in my dad's handwriting.

"No, he said to give it to you and you only." she answered.

"I think he wrote something for the baby."

"What?" mom furrowed her eyebrows as I handed her the letter.

She held her rounded stomach, the tears forming in her eyes.
"O- oh, m- my G- God..."

"Read it out loud, mommy." Paris told her.

"I might not know you, baby Chris, but I do know that I love you. I'm so sorry for not being there to see you grow. I hope you grow to be just like your brothers and sister, special in your own way. I wish I could know you, I really do. Baby Chris, I want you to remember that daddy loves you, so much.

Just in case I haven't said it enough, I love you all, my beautiful children. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. Thank you for teaching me things I wouldn't have known if you weren't a part of my life.

Don't miss me too much.

With love, daddy."

"It's not fair that he's dead." Paris mumbled.

I hugged her, rubbing her back gently.

"You should take your gifts." my mom said.

Paris, Kamron, and I took our presents.

"Blanket?"

"I don't want it." he shrugged.

"What do you mean? Your dad made this for you."

"Does it really matter? He's not here to give it to me, right?"

Mom sighed heavily. "Please, baby."

My youngest brother rolled his eyes and left.

"He's probably just tired." Kamron said.

"Yeah... Maybe you should all go back to sleep."

Mom woke all of us up once she discovered dad's surprise, saying we have to read what he wrote for us.

She stood up and started going after Blanket.

"Mom," I called. "I'll do it."

I let go of Paris, took Blanket's present with me, and found him in the bedroom he and Kamron shared.

My brother just got into bed.

"Blanket, what was that about?" I questioned.

"Nothing..."

"That wasn't nothing. You would never not take a present from dad. What's up?"

"He left us." Blanket said quietly.

I sat next to him. "He didn't mean to, you know that."

"But he's still not here. And even if he was, we wouldn't have seen him, anyways. He would be too busy to care about us."

"That's not true, Blanket. He would try to see us as much as possible." I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter anymore, he's not here, so whatever. I don't want that present if he's not here to give it to me."

"Let's make a deal," I said. "I'll open mine and you open yours."

He looked at his present hesitantly.

"Come on, you have to be curious about what's in there. Dad probably put a lot of thought into these."

Blanket snatched it from my hold and started ripping up the wrapping paper.

"It's a CD." he showed it to me.

"He probably recorded something on it." I told him.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Your turn."

I opened my present, a grin forming on my face when I saw the children's book that my dad used to read to me.

Blanket looked confused. "A book?"

"Not just any book, it's 'My Brother Sammy'! Dad used to read this to me all the time when I was little. I was obsessed with this story." I explained, feeling my eyes burn from tears.

"Prince, are you crying?"

"No." I wiped my eyes.

"Liar," he laughed. "Who's a crybaby now?"

"Shut up." I pushed his shoulder.

I put the book close to my chest and closed my eyes.

"I miss him." Blanket said.

"I know, me too."

"Boys, mommy says you have to go back to sleep." Paris knocked on the door.

"Goodnight, bro." I told Blanket, then left the room along with my sister.

~

Brooklyn: I smiled at a picture of Michael and I dancing, reading what he wrote about it.

"Love? What are you doing up?" Paul's voice startled me.

I turned around to see him dressed in a nice suit. He put two hands on my shoulders, giving them a light massage.

"What's this?" he asked when he saw the photo album that was in my lap.

"It's a present he made for me," I told him. "I found it along with a letter that was hidden in one of your albums."

"One of my albums?"

"'Abbey Road'. I told you it's my favorite. He got it for me for my birthday in 1980, it was the last album I needed to complete my Beatles collection. I guess he knew I'd pick it up again."

He took a seat next to me, "May I?"

I placed the album carefully in his hands.

"You're in it, too. He put a picture of the double date we had at Neverland after Chris passed away." I said.

"I remember that. It was a great time."

"Except for finding out about Linda." I sighed.

Paul frowned.

"I'm sorry for bringing that up," I apologized. "I never thought I'd know how you felt back then. But now that I do, it's so awful. That empty feeling inside, like a part of you is missing. I hate it."

"I hated it, too. I didn't know what the hell to do next, but then you came and helped me get better. I'm glad you let me stay so I can help you, too."

"I appreciate it, Paul. Thank you." I hugged him.

And I really did. Paul never left my side. When I was at the hospital, he stayed every day to make sure everything was okay with me.

"Well, I have to get going." he stood up, checking his watch.

"Where to?"

"To see Stella. She's in town for a fashion show and I promised I'd see it with her and spend the day with her."

"Have fun." I gave him a smile.

"Thanks, love. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise." he said.

"Oh, no, please go have a day with your daughter. Don't worry about me, I'll be good with everyone here." I assured him.

"But Janet trusts me to stay here and take care of you-"

I hurried cut him off. "I'll be fine, Paul."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight."

I watched him leave, then leaned back on the couch.

What would I do without him?

~

29th of August, 2009
Brooklyn and Janet are 43

Janet: "We're here!" Paris squealed excitedly, getting up from her seat to get a better look at the Neverland gates.

I saw Brooke take a deep breath in.

"It will be fine, darling." Paul told her and tightened his grip on her shoulder.

I scrunched my nose. About a week ago, after Wissam, the girls, and I came back from Japan, Rebbie and Tito paid us a visit.
After they left, Rebbie called me, and expressed her fears that Brooke might be replacing Michael with Paul.

I told her she was hallucinating because Paul was only here to help.

But now that I watch them closely, I get where Rebbie is coming from.

I shook my head, hoping to focus on today. The family decided that for today, Michael's birthday, we will be gathering at Neverland and have a get together.

He wouldn't have wanted us to be sad on his birthday. So instead of grieving we decided to celebrate at Michael's most favorite place in the world.

The car stopped in front of the main house, and I saw that the door was wide open.

My nephews and niece hurried to get out of the car, then ran inside. I couldn't even imagine how much they missed this place.

On the other hand, after our day at Neverland, there's a checkup on the baby.

I have to say that a bit nervous myself about this checkup. I know Brooklyn's probably over-thinking about it.

Paul put a hand on her lower back as he helped her inside. "Come on, love. Watch your step."

"There you are, honey! Oh, I can't believe how big you already are!" my mother greeted her.

I noticed La Toya inside, talking to Jackie.

"Mother, what is La Toya doing here?" I asked bitterly.

"She's part of the family, too, Janet. Michael would've wanted the entire family together." mother answered.

"She tried ruining his life, and make him break up with Brooke. I doubt he'd want her here."

"Jan, it's okay. I'll just ignore her." Brooke told me.

She went on to greet my father, making me sigh. Is she really going to stand La Toya being here?

~

Brooklyn: I took a seat on Michael's and I's old bed, feeling like someone was squeezing my heart.

To say I missed this place was an understatement.

Everything stayed almost like the way it was five years ago.

A knock on the door scared me; I looked at it and saw Jermaine.

"We're going to say a prayer. Do you want to join us?" he asked.

I nodded, "Just give me a few more seconds."

"Of course. Take as much time as you need."

All I wanted was to move back here. I needed to take the kids somewhere, because all of us were getting tired of moving from Janet's to my dad's and sometimes to my in-laws'.

That sparked up an idea. We were returning to Neverland.

I got up, and opened the door. I then went downstairs to meet everyone.

Paul grinned at me, pulling me into his arms.

"I missed this place." he whispered in my ear.

Someone cleared their throat.

"Before we pray, can I just bring this up real quick?" La Toya looked at the both of us.

"La Toya..." Katherine sighed.

"No, mother, this is something important... Am I the only one seeing what's happening between these two? Brooklyn is replacing our brother right in front of us."

My mouth hung open. What is she talking about?

"Why are you all looking so surprised with me? I'm not the only one thinking like that, right?" she asked her siblings.

Non of them answered.

"This bitch got knocked up with his child and once he dies, he's nothing anymore!" La Toya continued.

"That is low, La Toya." Janet rolled her eyes at her.

"What? You expect me to believe she accidentally got pregnant?"

"No, but I expect you to believe that as his wife of 23 years, I am crushed by his death. Do you know how I wish I wasn't pregnant? This baby caused me to stay at home instead of going to rehearsals with Michael and protecting him. I feel like this is all my fault, and you accusing me of replacing him with a very good friend of mine is not helping the situation. Paul is here to help me because I need help. He knows what I'm going through. So please just let me enjoy this day at my home that I love so much, and missed." I said, coming closer to her face.

La Toya looked a bit overwhelmed.

"And just so you know, Michael wanted this baby more than any of us. I still feel like I have nothing to this baby, La Toya. I am struggling to love him with each day that passes. I wish I was excited for him, but I can't be."

Everyone was silent.

"Janet," I quivered. "Can we leave, please?"

"Yeah. I'll get the car." she said before leaving.

I was upset, and staying here was not an option when I knew I needed to stay calm. As much as I wanted to be here, I couldn't.

"Paul, get the kids." I ordered.

"Sure, love."

"Thank you, La Toya. For making me feel like shit." I mumbled to my sister-in-law.

When we sat in the car, I couldn't help but cry.

Is what La Toya said true? Am I really trying to fill the void in my heart with Paul?

~

I'm sooooo sorry for the long wait. I really wish I could update sooner, but I'm sick with the flu for the past two weeks, I was really weak for a while until now!

I hope you guys understand!!

~ShoamEmily