26th of June, 2009
Brooklyn and Janet are 43

Brooklyn: "My brother, the legendary King of Pop, passed away on Thursday June 25th, 2009 at 2:26 PM. It is believed he suffered cardiac arrest in his home-"

Pictures of my house that was now a crime scene showed up on the screen as Jermaine's voice spoke.

I shut the TV off, hiding my face with the blanket. I was hoping to escape by watching something, but every channel was covering my husband's death.

This can't be real. I'm in a very bad dream that I can't wake up from.

I waited and waited for Michael to wake me up from this horrible dream, but he never came.

After I broke down yesterday, Janet and Jermaine took me to my dad's and we picked up the kids, then went straight to Janet's and Wissam's. We've been here since yesterday.

Everyone was crying. The tears poured out and never stopped.

My kids realized what happened before I could tell them. The minute they saw me they attacked me in a huge hug, and we all cried for what seemed like forever.

Last night they couldn't sleep, like the rest of us. My children crawled into my bed and asked to sleep together, because they didn't want to be alone.

I just lay there, next to them, thinking about the previous day.

Now I was drowning in my own tears, after telling everyone I wanted to be alone. I couldn't face my family because I felt so responsible. All of them were crying over Michael. The guilt was eating me alive.

So there I was, alone in a dark room. And I was alone, until the baby inside me started kicking, reminding me he was still here.

I wanted him to stop. I didn't want to think about him or what's going to happen to him.

I didn't understand why God decided to keep him and not Michael.

I have nothing with this baby. I'd rather let him die and get Michael back. I need Michael.

"Brooklyn, I need you to open the door." Jermaine said.

He sighed when I didn't answer, and knocked slightly.

"Please. You can't be in there all day."

"Jermaine, I just want to be alone. I'm begging you, let me be alone." I sniffled, wiping my fresh tears.

"There's someone here to see you..." my brother-in-law tried convincing me.

"I don't need anymore pity." I mumbled.

Jermaine attempted to open the door again, but with no luck. "He's here to help you, babe."

I swallowed hard, and got up. Looking down at myself, I felt so disgusted.

I unlocked the door, instantly blinded by the light.

Jermaine's eyes filled with sadness when he saw me.

"Who's here?" I asked hoarsely.

"I'll call him up only if you listen to me." Jermaine answered.

I closed my eyes, nodding.

"I need you to sign these."

Opening my eyes, I saw him reveal a pile of papers from behind his back.

"What are these?"

"Consent papers from UCLA Medical Center. They want to do an autopsy on Michael's-" he stopped himself before saying the last word.

"No way." I started closing the door, but he put a hand on it.

"Jermaine," I sighed. "He will be buried without a scar on his body, do you understand me?"

"Brooke, you have to sign these. If they find what killed him, we could take this to court and get justice. Don't you want justice?"

"I know what killed him! I left him alone, Jermaine! It's all on me!" I pushed his hand away, closing the door again.

"Brooklyn, that Dr. Murray guy was the one who did this. You are not responsible for his death, okay? If anything, you only tried to help him..." Jermaine said quietly.

"Love?" I heard a too familiar British accent.

Paul appeared at the top of the stairs, a sympathetic smile on his face.

"Jermaine, I got this." he told my brother-in-law.

Jermaine gave him the contract he was holding and whispered something in his ear, then left.

"What are you doing here, Paul?" I questioned, a bit too harshly. Both Jermaine and Janet knew that I didn't want to see anyone, so him being here pissed me off a bit.

"I'm here to help you cope, love. I figured you'd need someone who understands what it's like to lose the person you've dedicated your life to... Now come give me a hug, I missed you."

"I don't need help." I rolled my eyes.

"Really? Is that why you're up here in bed all day, instead of being with your children who love you and need you?"

"How the hell am I supposed to look into their eyes when I know this is all my fault?" I felt the tears emerge again.

"But it isn't. Come here." Paul pulled me into a tight hug.

I sobbed into his shirt, finally feeling a little bit of relief from everything.

"I'll stay as long as you want. I will help you, just like you helped me." he whispered.

Paul rocked me back and forth slowly. It calmed me down, and I felt so safe.

~

Janet: "I can take a bath on my own, Jan." Brooklyn said.

I ignored her, and helped her into my big bathtub.

"You can't." I frowned. Actually, I knew she could take a bath on her own, but I was scared she might do something that could harm her or the baby.

I knew my worries were justified because she was blaming herself for my brother's passing.

"Did you sign the consent papers?" I asked as she scrubbed her back.

"No." she answered.

I sighed. She needs to do this, whether she likes it or not.

I was on the same page as her when it came to burying Michael without a single scar on his body, but I also wanted Dr. Murray to sit in prison for a very long time for all the pain he caused my family.

My best friend suddenly burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry, Jan. I feel so horrible." she brought her knees up to her chest as much as her bump allowed.

"You didn't kill him, okay? It was that son of a bitch who did this. You have to stop blaming yourself, you're only making this worse for you." I reached a hand and rubbed her shoulder.

"No, all of this... You're helping me, when it should be the other way around. You and Jermaine lost your brother, who am I to cry over him all the time?"

"Don't you dare. You have every right to cry over him. He's your husband and the father of your children. You are pregnant and hormonal so it's okay for you to cry in front of anyone you want, especially me or Jermaine. Yes, I'm devastated. Words cannot describe how much I miss him and wish he was here. But you are in a fragile state that I need to fix. So, stop trying to take the blame for everything, honey. It's not good, and I will not allow it in my house anymore."

We hugged tightly, both of us crying into the other's shoulder.

"Girls," Wissam knocked on the door. "Dinner is ready."

"Let's get you out of here." I told Brooklyn and pulled away from her.

"I don't wanna eat." she said.

"You have to, for the baby."

She rolled her eyes, "The baby? I don't care for this baby, Jan. He's nothing to me."

"Don't say that."

"But it's true. I feel nothing for him."

Hearing her say that made me shiver. I knew if Michael was here she would never say such a thing, because this pregnancy was going so well and she would be happy.

"You don't mean that." I shook my head.

She got up slowly and took a towel. I watched as she wrapped it around her, then sighed.

Brooke looked down at her bump before speaking. "It's so unfair. I don't know him, why did he have to stay? He should've died, not Michael."

I couldn't believe she said that. How could she, when she knew a baby is something so sacred to Michael?

~

Brooklyn: I leaned over the toilet, puking out the dinner Janet made me eat.

"Are you okay, love?" Paul asked, running inside the bathroom.

"I- I'm fine." I muttered, not wanting to give in the fact that I made myself sick on purpose.

He kneeled next to me and held up my hair.

More food came up as a result of the last wave, until I was completely empty.

Paul helped me on my feet, rubbing my back.

There was a tiny bit of guilt inside me, but I didn't care.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then Paul pulled me into a big hug.

"I know it hurts, but I promise you, it will never hurt as much as it does now." he said.

I wanted to believe him, and still, that numb feeling never went away.

"Jermaine asked me to convince you to sign these consent papers. I don't want to beg, so can you do it? Don't you think it will be a relieve to all of us if we have evidence that could send that doctor to prison for a very long time?"

He showed me the papers again.

"Fine." I sighed, thinking it might make up for what I just did.

He gave me a pen and I signed the papers.

"You're making progress, that's wonderful." he smiled warmly, giving me another hug.

I forced a smile onto my lips and let him go back to Jermaine.

~

3rd of July, 2009
Brooklyn and Janet are 43

Janet: My entire family gathered around my living room, as we set up Michael's memorial service that was requested by fans all over the world.

"So I think we should go up last, to say what we have to say. Don't you think that fits?" Tito said.

Everyone nodded, except for Brooke.

"Brooklyn?" mother called, sitting next to her.

"I can't do this. I'm not ready." she told us, the tears filling her eyes.

She stood, then started making her way towards the stairs.

Her bump kept on growing, but I noticed her body was losing weight. It seemed odd to me, because I knew she was eating. In fact, we just recently had breakfast.

"I'll go after her." Jermaine sighed.

"No, I'll do it." I hurried to run after my best friend.

I went into the guest room. The only light there was came from the bathroom, so I entered it quietly.

Brooke was clutching the toilet as she threw up.

"Don't touch me." she said, looking at me.

Her body seemed tense; I realized something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

She wiped her mouth after another few minutes of puking her guts out.

Her eyes met mine. In seconds I understood what she was doing to herself.

I myself suffered from eating disorders in the past, so I knew how to recognize this.

It all makes sense now. The weight loss, her body language...

I grabbed her wrist and dragged her to my bedroom.

"Jan, what are you doing?" she asked quietly.

Once we were in my bedroom, I pulled out the weight scale and put it front of her.

"Take your shirt and pants off, Brooke." I ordered.

"Why?"

"Do it, and get on that scale."

"Don't make me do this, Jan... You know how bad I feel about this pregnancy right now..." she said.

"That's exactly why I need you to get on it. I'm waiting." I crossed my arms.

She took in a shaky breath, peeling off her shirt, then her pants.

I flinched at how skinny she actually got.

My best friend climbed on the scale. I widened my eyes when I saw how much she weighed.

"110 pounds?!" I gasped.

She quickly got off and put her clothes back on.

I stood there, still shocked. "You've been throwing up everything you ate, right?"

"So?" Brooke snickered.

"So?! You haven't eaten for a whole week! You're putting yourself and your baby in danger!" I screamed at her.

"Mind your own business, Janet." she spat.

"This is my business! In case you forgot, you're my sister-in-law, and my best friend. I will not let you starve yourself. I will not let you harm yourself, or my nephew that you are carrying."

"He doesn't deserve to live, at least not in a world without Michael. La Toya was right. He's gonna grow up without knowing his daddy, and I don't want that to happen."

"What would Michael say about this? What would Michael say if he knew you were slowly killing your baby, killing his son?"

I knew this would hit a soft spot.

"Well, Michael isn't here, is he?" Brooklyn asked coldly, surprising me with her comeback.

She turned away from me and started walking out of my bedroom.

But just as she was about to pass the door, I saw her swaying a little.

"Baby, they want you two back there-" Wissam appeared, just in time to catch Brooke when she fell. I heard a small crack.

"Jesus," I hurried to join them. "We need to get her to a hospital."

"N- no, I'm completely fine..." my best friend mumbled.

"Let's go." Wissam picked her up. She shrieked in pain, holding the right side of her body.

~

Prince: "She broke a rib, but luckily it didn't puncture anything. And about the weight loss, I gave her food through the IV, but if she wakes up and pukes, just call one of the nurses and they'll give her a smaller amount, okay? It should happen, her body and the baby need to get used to eating again, and too much food at once could be overwhelming at first." the doctor explained to my aunts and uncles.

"How long does she have to stay here? It's just we have our brother's memorial service in a few days, and she's supposed to say a few things." uncle Randy questioned

"It depends how fast her body reacts to the treatment. But if you want an estimated time, I'd say around ten days..." the doctor replied.

I looked over at Paris who was sitting next to mom's bed and holding her hand.

Our mom was sleeping since they also gave her something to relax herself.

I felt my eyes burn with tears, but I couldn't allow myself to cry. I needed to stay strong for my brothers and sister, and especially for mom.

I missed my dad like crazy, and all I wanted was for him to be here right now to tell me he loved me. I wanted him to assure me that everything would be alright, just like he used to.

"Is my mommy going to die like daddy?" Blanket suddenly asked.

Everyone turned to him.

"Don't worry, Blanket, your mother is okay," the doctor told him, a sad smile on his face. "I'll come back to check on her later."

"Thank you so much." auntie Janet hugged him.

He gave her a squeeze back, then left.

My uncle Jermaine sat next to me. "She's gonna be okay, Prince. You heard the doctor."

"I know, I'm not worried about her." I lied.

"Good boy. Thank you for helping your auntie and I lately, you know, with taking care of your siblings." he pulled me into a side hug.

I sighed deeply, just wanting to get out of here.

~

Brooklyn: I woke up with a horrible pain in my right side, and the urge to hurl.

Nothing hurt more than leaning over to throw up in a container that a nurse held for me.

"Easy, Mrs. Jackson... You've had a rough day." she carefully helped me lay back down.

Every breath I tried to take sent a shock of pain to my bones.

"Slow breaths, it should help the pain." the nurse instructed.

"What am I doing here?" I asked.

She scrunched her eyebrows, "You don't remember?"

I shook my head.

"You're being treated for extreme weight loss. You lost 26 pounds in a week."

Oh. That.

"You also broke a rib. Would you like any medicine for the pain? Your sister-in-law told us to give you nothing, but if it's unbearable then we have to. Your choice."

"Please. It really hurts." I begged.

"Okay. Just let me lower the amount of food coming into your system, we don't want you puking all the time." she smiled.

She did what she had to do, and gave me another container. "If you feel sick again, tell me."

She was about to leave, but I stopped her.

"Wait," I called. "Is my baby okay?"

"He's perfect." she said, making me sigh in relief.

The nurse left the room, and in walked Janet, Jermaine, and Katherine.

I opened my mouth to apologize for what I did, but instead of words, more food came up my throat.