Coming back was a bad decision. And Zayn knew that.

Not just coming to the apartment but returning to Nigeria entirely. However,hehas a promise to keep. He'd delayed it for too long. He owes her that much after everything she did for him.

Zayn glanced at his phone that had been ringing for the umpteenth time. Reaching his hand out he pressed the volume button down to put the phone in silent mode. Closing his eyes when the sound no longer came from the phone, he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face as the exhaustion hit him like a truck.

His gaze flickered to his coffee which he had just made-the only thing he knew which would keep him awake and going that day. He didn't need to glance at the mirror to know that he had dark bags under his eyes due to his lack of sleep. How could he sleep though when his dreams are plagued with memories that he had buried for long? The memories that decided to hunt him the same day he returned back to Nigeria?

Impossible. The nightmares proved that.

He made his way over to a couch amongst the others in the living room, taking his coffee mug along with him as he left the phone on the counter. He didn't want to know how they got his number or how they knew that he returned for them to call him.

He took a gulp from the mug, before placing it on the center table. He still has a couple of hours before he meets Kamal for the briefing, and so, doesn't have any idea how to spend those hours. The morning jog and exercise helped with the lack of sleep, and there's no doubt that the coffee will too butthere's only so much a person can take.

He looked beside him. Extending his hand out, he picked up the box that he brought out earlier with him. His fingertips hesitated for a bit as he held the top of the box. After a couple of seconds of him exhaling to calm himself down, he pulled the box open-his gaze immediately falling on the first item in the box.

A diary.

Her diary.

Underneath it lies her hoodie.

Those two items were the only item he has with him throughout those years in remembrance of his sister. However, since he left Nigeria, he never got the confidence to open it and look at it again. Times without number he had attempted to do so, but the memories plagued him and slowly, he stopped attempting to open it.

For the first time in ten years, he knew he had to do this in order to fulfill his promise. That was the only thing that gave him the confidence at the moment.

He picked up the diary. His fingers lightly caressing the black cover-scared that if he pressed it with any force, it'll disappear just like she did. He gulped and flickered the book open, his eyes immediately falling on the handwritten note.

Page by page, he reread the entries.

The beginning made him smile just like the first time. She sounded genuinely happy from the words she scribbled down. Did she know how her life would turn out? If she did, would she have made different choices? Would that have change anything?

So many questions ran in his head.

His finger stopped once he reached a particular page. Having read the book before, he knew her life took a sharp turn after that entry. And he didn't want to relive that pain again.

He couldn't.

Without wasting a second, he placed it back in the box and closed it.

He took the coffee mug again and finished it quickly. The hot coffee lightly burning his tongue and throat was nothing compared to the pain his heart felt.

Once he was done, he washed the mug and placed it back in the shelf he picked it up before heading to his room to take a shower. He made sure to place the box back in his closet first.

When he was done, he dressed up and headed out. He was familiar with the coffee shop he'd meet Kamal as it has been their spot when they were kids. Zayn had never been the one to interact with others or keep friends, Kamal is basically the only friend he has in Nigeria.

Although the places have changed due to renovations and all, he managed to arrive at the coffee shop with the help of GPS. Glancing at the wrist watch strapped around his wrist, he noticed that he was over half an hour early. That didn't stop him from going inside though after parking the car.

Unlike in the olden days when the coffee shop didn't have much people going there, at the moment, there were too many people there than he'd like. He found the spot farthest away from people and sat there.

Lightly tapping his hand on the table, he fixated his gaze outside.

Time seemed to have flew at the moment, mainly because he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings.

The sound of the chair opposite him being jerked back made him snap his gaze to the source. Kamal offered Zayn a grin which wasn't reciprocated. However, Kamal didn't say a word about it. He was pretty much used to it and his nonchalance was one of the reason Zayn actually considered him a friend.

Not once did Kamal ever care that Zayn is different.

"You're here early" Kamal said, placing the folder that was in his hand on the table. Using his fingers, he pushed the folder towards Zayn, "I know you couldn't wait for the report, so here it is"

Zayn picked the folder up and slipped his hand in it. He pulled out the papers in there, "What's the overall report?"

Kamal sighed. "There's no lead on the child's whereabouts. I tried everything I could but...nothing"

Zayn didn't look up from skimming through the papers that held the information Kamal just informed him. "What do you think is the reason?"

Kamal shrugged, "I had nothing to start with Zayn. Besides, it's been so long"

Zayn placed the papers back in the folder as he sighed. "And the messages?"

"Zayn I couldn't find anything. We don't even have the number"

He kept the folder back on the table as he used his free hand to massage his temples, "What do you suggest we do now?"

Kamal crossed his legs, placing both his hands on the table. "Visit the hospital she worked in. Try to find out anything about her life back then. The people she interacted with, the people she wasn't in good times with..."

Zayn nodded as he briefly closed his eyes, letting the information sink in. "Okay" he darted his tongue out and wetted his lips, "The messages? What can we do to figure out the sender?"

Kamal's brows furrowed as thought of a plan. For the first time since Zayn came back to Nigeria, he's seeing the serious side of Kamal. "Do you know where her phone is? Or the sim cards at least?"

Zayn's eyes stared at the wall behind Kamal as he thought about it. "I don't..." He sighed, "But I can try to look for it"

"Do that. Then I can try to trace the sender"

Zayn moved his gaze back to Kamal. A part of him knew that he should at least offer Kamal a smile of appreciation, but he couldn't do it. "Thank you Kamal. I'll call you when I have something" He pushed the chair back and stood up, taking the folder along with him.

He headed over to the parking lot and got into his car. He kept the folder on the passenger seat and leaned back on his seat as he released a heavy sigh. He shook his head and leaned it on the steering wheel, his fingers clenching around it as his knuckles slowly whiten.

He felt frustrated to say the least.

When he finally calmed down a bit, he revved the car to life and drove over to the hospital. He tried to make the drive as long as possible but even that wasn't enough to stop the inevitability of him arriving there.

When he got there, he parked as far away from the main building as he can. He didn't have it in him to go close to it or more, step foot in it. The last time he was there was the day she left.

He stared at the building from his spot in the car. He couldn't get out. He had avoided the place for as long as he can and now that he needed to be there, he couldn't bring himself to do.

All he could see as he stared at the building was her figure stepping out in a black hoodie that covered her face. He knew it was simply figments of his imaginations but he felt like it was genuinely real.

That she was real.

He so much yearned for that glint in her eyes and the smile. That smile she had the day she met her son.

"Zayn...meet your nephew!" Kulsum looked up, a grin plastered on her face as she cradled the newly born in her arms. Zayn had never seen that much elation on her face, not even the day she married Aasim.

He saw the ways he stared at her son, like he held her life in his fragile tiny hands.

Her grin widened as she reached her arms out with the baby in it, urging him to collect the boy.

Zayn shook his head and took a step back. This made her chuckle.

"What?" She glanced at the baby, then at her brother. "Don't tell me you're scared of him?"

"I'm not" Zayn shook his head furiously. "He's just..." He trailed off, using his hand to gesture at the baby, "So small and fragile. I might hurt him"

"No you won't. Come here and see" She urged him to come closer, and he did. She gently placed the baby in his arms, after explaining to him the correct way to hold the baby and all. "See, it's not that hard"

"I guess" Zayn muttered, cooing at how small the baby was. The baby was sleeping so his eyes were close. Zayn used his finger to lightly touch his cheeks. This made the baby wrap his tiny fist around Zayn's finger. "Look, he looks just like you" Zayn cooed, not being able to take his eyes off the baby.

Kulsum nodded in agreement. "You were just as cute when you were a child. You had this adorable cheeks..."

"Alright alright! Don't start embarrassing me!" He cut her off.

This made her laugh.

"You know, you're just lucky I've never seen any of my baby picture. Else, I would've proved that I wasn't chubby" He added, looking up from the baby to her.

Instead of replying with a reason, she smiled.

Zayn knew that was one of the few happy memories he had of the hospital. He didn't get why everything had to happen in the particular hospital. From the good days to the bad ones. It was still it.

After a couple of minutes of simply staying in the car, he revved it to life and drove off.

He couldn't go into the hospital. At least not yet. He doesn't have that confidence at the moment to face the past.