Note: The Theories in this story have nothing to do with what I believe in real life. They're literally just a plot device! 

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Carefully, Harry let three drops fall into the pot and listened to the expected hissing sound in satisfaction. The distinct smell of comfrey and willow bark hit his nostrils, making his muscles relax at the familiarity. Stirring the potion until it had the perfect texture, he tried to ignore the approaching footsteps, knowing full well that his peace and quiet would be over in a second.

Stepping into the backroom, Sarah eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing, H?".

"Think you should know what a potion in progress looks like" he replied nonchalantly, digging his own grave with his words.

"Really now?" Sarah quirked an unimpressed eyebrow up.

"What do you want me to say?" Harry huffed in frustration. "It seems like you're already perfectly aware of what I'm doing".

"Quit acting like a child, Harry" Sarah didn't sound amused but rather annoyed with him right now. "He's out there, not in here".

"Precisely" Harry stopped his stirring, putting a lid on the pot.

"You've been doing this for weeks and it has to stop. Before he shows up, you're all giddy and jumpy but as soon as he's sat at his usual table, you flee into the back to prepare orders you don't have to prepare until next week. Is this really the best way to handle your attraction, H?" Sarah crossed her arms over her chest, scolding him like his mother would if she knew.

"I'm not ...".

"Oh, cut the bullshit" Sarah cut him off harshly. "You're not just attracted to him, you're completely smitten and that's why you're hiding in here. You know it, I know it, Niall knows it. Hell, even our temps know that. I'm surprised he doesn't seem to know it".

"I'm not smitten, Sarah" Harry clarified weakly. "I might be attracted to him but can you blame me? Look at him!".

"Nah, not my type" Sarah looked pointedly at him.

"Yes, Chloe is a beautiful angel but you're also not blind" Harry knew that he must sound crazy by now. "He's objectively the most beautiful man I've ever seen. How am I supposed to handle that?".

"Like a normal human being?" Sarah clicked with her tongue.

"Funny".

"I'm serious. Stop hiding back here. He comes three times a ...".

"Sometimes only two times" Harry corrected her but bit his tongue immediately at the look she gave him.

"He became a regular in such a short amount of time and that for you. You have to know that, H" Sarah sounded desperate.

"Then why don't we ever talk, mh?" Harry leaned against the counter, feeling his resolve crumble. "The only time we exchange a few words is at the counter when he orders the doggy biscuits for Alexa. She's the only thing we talk about for a minute, tops".

"It could be because you hide in here every Saturday when he actually stays to eat here instead of only picking up the biscuits. Niall isn't even here to embarrass you, so what's this really about and why can't we say it out loud?" Sarah came over to him.

For a moment, he stayed silent and debated with himself if he wanted to tell her what was eating him alive. One of the things that was driving him insane and made him unable to talk to Louis. But admitting any of this out loud meant admitting that he might actually have some strange kind of feelings for the man, that he barely knew, which was mad-shit crazy.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, he rubbed his hands over his face. "I might have googled him a few weeks ago and now I feel bad for knowing things about him that he didn't tell me himself".

"I'm sure Google didn't tell you anything that you shouldn't ...".

"I'm not so sure about that" Harry didn't wanna hear it. He still felt bad for giving into his curiosity. He shouldn't have done it. "He comes off as someone who doesn't want everyone to know and treat him like a celebrity. He seems so normal but now I know that he really isn't. Not completely. And the things I read don't really fit with the man I got to know but maybe he's more like that and I'm just making someone up in my head, again. I'm scared to find out, if I'm already being honest. I don't want him to ... Nevermind".

"You don't want him to be like the headlines said he was?" Sarah understood what he was unable to say out loud anyway, so he only nodded in confirmation. "I don't know what you read but does it really matter? Even if all of it is true, it's in the past, right? You said he retired years ago, according to Àmbar. That means he had time to reflect on his life and maybe he isn't so far from the man you think he is".

"It shouldn't matter to me. I'm not willing to give another man a chance. Dating is history to me" Harry frowned unhappily.

"Okay, Grandpa" Sarah snorted mockingly, earning a pinch to the arm for that. "What? You sound like you're at least seventy-five but you're not. You're still young, H. It's not too late to fall in love again and find your desired happily ever after. You'll never know if you don't try".

"The last time I thought it was forever, it ended in divorce. So, forgive me for not being very optimistic" Harry was so done with this conversation. "Besides, he's straight, Sarah. Has a child and everything. He's not an option".

Looking him up and down in surprise and something undefinable, Sarah pursed her lips. "Then why are you still hiding? He's your customer, H. Face him and stop being a coward".

With that, Sarah left the backroom and went back out to the front, leaving him to himself. The rational part of him knew that Sarah was mainly right but the highly emotional part of him was still terrified to face Louis. It was easier to have a casual chat over the counter because it was on limited time. But Saturdays were too open for possibilities. He didn't want them. He didn't want this mess in his head. The easiest way out of this was to stay totally platonic and professional, to treat Louis like every other regular.

"But he isn't like everyone else" Harry sighed out in pure defeat, not knowing where this realisation even came from. But it was his gut feeling and he trusted his gut. Most of the time.

Bracing himself to face reality for the first time in weeks, Harry walked out of the back up to the front counter and took a look around his bakery. It wasn't too crowded for a Saturday close to noon. Àmbar was sitting in her usual spot, locking eyes with him as soon as she spotted him. Fleetingly, he glanced away and over to where Louis was sitting by a front window, like every week. That short glance made him falter. Louis was getting up and ready to leave. Earlier than normally, which made Harry shrink in on himself because he felt like this was his fault for being a coward.

Carrying his plate and cup over to the counter, Louis offered him a shy-looking smile. "Hey, um ... I didn't see you much but I have to go already. Sorry. Something came up".

"It's okay. You don't owe me an explanation. You're free to go whenever you want" Harry blurted out before he could think his words through and wanted to slap himself. That sounded so odd.

Frowning slightly, Louis rolled his lips in. "I guess. Yeah. Okay. See you next week then?".

"Yes," Harry replied way too fast and eager, coughing to cover it up but only making it worse, judging by Louis' face. "I'll be here".

"Here as in at the front or in the back again?" Louis countered surprisingly, the shock visible on his own face. "I mean ... um ...".

"At the front, if you want me to" Harry threw all caution into the wind, desperately needing Louis to ... He wasn't really sure.

An unreadable expression crossed Louis' face before he cleared his throat, turning to leave for real now. "Guess you have to find out, mh?".

Dumbfoundedly, Harry stared after him in shock, his cheeks flaming red in embarrassment. Everything about this interaction has been highly awkward and cringe and the last comment has thrown Harry's mind right into the gutter for no reason at all.

"That was painful to watch" Sarah scared the shit out of him when she appeared right next to him. "I don't wanna know how he felt if you already gave me whiplash with whatever that was".

"I told you it's pointless to even t ...".

"For all that it's worth, I think he's not as straight as you think" Sarah patted his shoulder encouragingly.

"You think he's gay?" Harry asked her puzzled.

"From what I saw, he's interested in you. If that makes him gay or bi or whatever is up to him and not my place to judge" Sarah held her hands up, backing away and towards the kitchen now.

"What in the world made you think he's into me from that mess of a conversation?" Harry called after her incredulously.

"The simple fact that he looked devastated when you made it sound like you don't want him to come back" Àmbar piped in now.

"I didn't ...".

"I know, H" she smiled understandingly at him. "But he doesn't. He looked like a kicked puppy until you made a complete 180 and sounded like a desperate ...".

"Ey!".

"I'm just telling it like it is" Àmbar shrugged unfazed. "And don't worry. You weren't the only one with their mind in the gutter".

With his mind on a constant reply of the earlier incident, Harry took his break with Sarah, who was kind enough not to bring it up again. If that meant that he looked absolutely miserable, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to think about any of this, so he just checked his phone and saw a new text from his mother, asking him if he was still coming over for family dinner tomorrow. Quickly, he answered her and was finally able to think about something else for a minute.

At least once a month, his family tried to have a full family dinner on a Sunday but this one would be special. His sister Abby was finally back in the country and she was bringing her new boyfriend along. She rarely made it to Sunday family dinners lately because she was a very desired fashion journalist, which meant she had to travel all over the world for her job. As much as Harry wanted to see her more often, he was mostly proud of her for fulfilling her dream. And that dream had led to her meeting her new boyfriend Logan, who was a lesser-known fashion designer. She hadn't told them much but every time she did bring him up, she sounded very happy. Something she hasn't been too often in the past. So, he was really looking forward to meeting this guy.

For the last couple hours of his shift, he kept his mind busy with tomorrow's dinner and his beloved customers. The time went by in a heartbeat and in the blink of an eye, he found himself on his couch, snuggled into a blanket and his laptop on his knees, ready to catch up with one of his best friends and his boyfriend. When their faces appeared on the screen, he could feel a beaming smile growing on his own face. He had missed them massively. Right now, Zayn was in Italy for some campaign and his boyfriend Liam was tagging along for now because he could DJ anywhere. Hearing all about this new campaign filled Harry with so much pride for his friend. He really was one of a kind. The best model.

"But to be honest, we've mainly enjoyed our time at the beach. It's not really swimming weather here either but still a lot warmer than back in England. I don't wanna switch places for even a moment" Zayn grinned broadly.

"I wouldn't either, mate. As much as I love England, the weather isn't my favourite thing. Especially not in Fall" Harry agreed with him. He loved his home country but the weather sucked.

"So much rain can't be good for anyone" Zayn chuckled lightly.

"It really isn't".

"Germany isn't better" Liam threw in casually. "Fall barely exists at this point. It's mainly a quick summer and the rest of the year is kind of winter but also not because it's too wet for that. It sucks".

"Doesn't sound too pleasant" Harry grimaced just at the mere thought. He was grateful that due to his magic abilities, he could just go somewhere warm if the weather was too much for him.

"It really isn't" Liam echoed his words from a minute ago.

"Funny".

"Enough of the weather talk. We're not that old yet, lads" Zayn giggled exhilaratedly, making Harry and Liam roll their eyes at him. "Niall mentioned something to me when we talked earlier".

Knowing he should have expected this, Harry could only groan in annoyance. Of course, Niall had told them about Louis. Of course, he had to mention it. Of course, he had to be a good friend. Of course, he could never not tell Zayn. They've been friends since primary school for a reason. He should have seen this coming but somehow, he didn't. The blame was fully on him.

"That groan tells me there is more to the story" Zayn observed him closely through the screen. "Niall only told me that you're being a pathetic coward and that there's a hot but apparently straight guy, who isn't that straight. It's not much to ...".

"Of course, that's what he said" Harry couldn't believe it. Niall had made him sound like the stupidest person alive. Maybe he was. "And just for the record, he is straight. Thank you very much. Moving on now".

"We need more details to know if we can move on from this. It sounds like there is a lot more" Liam was also out to kill him.

"There isn't much to say" Harry knew he sounded small now.

"Then why don't you start at the beginning, mh? You haven't mentioned anyone until now" Zayn approached the matter a lot softer now, his voice making him crack.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself but I just didn't see the need for it. Nothing is going on. I'm not crushing on anyone, okay?" he ruffled his hair to release some stress.

"No one said you were" Liam sounded way too smug.

"Whatever" Harry huffed just because he could. "Anyway, his name is Louis and I first met him a couple of weeks ago when his rescue dog showed up in front of the bakery. She had run away from him because she couldn't walk without her leash yet".

"That sounds like the absolute perfect meet-cute, I must say. Just like one of your rom-coms" Zayn marked excitedly.

"It really does. What happened next?" Liam urged him to keep going, practically already on the edge of his seat.

"Well, I think I embarrassed myself in the span of the first two minutes because he's unreal and I can't talk to pretty man, no matter if I'm up for dating or not" Harry scratched his head, only earning two unimpressed looks from his friends. "Anyway, then I offered him doggy biscuits for Alexa because I'm an idiot. I didn't even have any ready, so ...".

"No" Zayn's eyes grew huge when a gasp slipped past his lips. "You broke your own rule like that? Oh, the tea is extra hot".

"Oh, piss off" Harry glared at him without any real heat behind it. He knew how this made him look. "So, I broke my rule and got them ready to give them to him, free of charge but he wouldn't have it. Ordered some pastries and left a huge tip behind".

"I bet" Liam sniggered under his breath, making his boyfriend bite down on his bottom lip to keep his giggles in. "Sorry".

"You're not".

"I'm not".

"As soon as he was gone, Niall pestered me and hasn't stopped since. He's convinced I should open a new book and start a brand new chapter but I don't want to. I've read that book before and know how it ends ...".

"But that's the good thing about a new book" Liam talked over him. "You can't know how it ends. Things could be different".

"I highly doubt that" Harry wasn't budging.

Zayn only studied him for a moment before he spoke up. "There is more. Niall wouldn't have mentioned it like this if it had only been one encounter with mister dreamboat".

"It might have happened two more times before he eventually started showing up regularly. Two or three times a week" Harry let them know in a murmur, hoping they didn't hear him.

"And how's that going?" Zayn hooked knowingly.

"Awkward, to say the least," Harry sighed out defeatedly. "I keep saying odd things but somehow he keeps coming back".

"He likes you" Zayn stated simply.

"He's straight" Harry contradicted him surely.

"Who says that?" Zayn raised one eyebrow in question.

"Me? His daughter, the internet. Many people" Harry listed before he could stop himself, earning two confused frowns.

"The internet?".

"He has a daughter?".

"Fuck" Harry cursed under his breath before clearing his throat and facing his curious friends. "I might have googled him after Àmbar told me he's famous and um ... his daughter is seven".

"Pause. He's famous? For what?" Zayn blinked in confusion.

"He's an ex-footie player" Harry offered one answer for now.

"Interesting".

"And he has a daughter, who's seven? How old is he?" Liam asked more questions, his voice way too neutral now.

"A year younger than Abby, thirty-two, according to Google. And yes, he has a daughter from a one-night-stand apparently. He's been a bit of a womanizer during his career, never had a serious relationship, only short flings. There was nothing about now" he recalled what he had read on Wikipedia.

For a painfully long moment, his friends stayed oddly silent and Harry was dreading their next words. He had really made Louis sound like a sleaze bag even though he came off as the opposite. But at the end of the day, Harry couldn't know that.

"H, have you ever considered that the media isn't a very reliable source of information?" Zayn finally spoke up again.

The hesitation in Zayn's voice made Harry frown. "I mean, I know it's not always what it looks like but ...".

"No buts, Harry. Not this time. Not with this" Zayn cut him off. "You know that the media and my former agency tried to paint me as someone that I'm not to appeal to the people, which was so bloody ridiculous because I'm a model and not a singer or something but they still tried, right?".

"Of course, I know that" Harry was the one frowning now.

"Now think about Louis' situation in sports. Football fans are mainly straight men, who can be very homophobic" Zayn went on down a path that Harry didn't expect.

"What are you ...?".

"Did you get a vibe from him in person, H?" Zayn didn't let him speak. "In your awkward conversations, was there any from his side? Anything that made you question his ... straightness?".

Biting his cheek, Harry nodded. "Here and there".

"Then maybe you should trust this more than Google and some bloody headlines, H. There is a high chance that he had to play a role, just like me" Zayn offered him a soothing smile.

"But he has a child, Zayn. That doesn't look like a role to me. If he had been closeted, do you really think he would've slept with a woman and gotten her pregnant? No one is that ...".

"Maybe you should look deeper into this if you can't let it go" Liam cut him off this time. "Dig deeper and find your answers".

"Or get to know him and let him tell you one day" Zayn offered him a better solution.

"You two make it sound like I care but I don't" Harry felt so caught that he turned into a stubborn child. "I don't give a shit if he fucks men or women or both or none. I'm not interested in him".

Exchanging a look with his boyfriend, Zayn levelled him down with a stern look. "Keep telling yourself that but we can see that you're lying to yourself, H. This won't end well".

And with that, they ended the call and left behind a gaping and dumbstruck Harry, who only blinked at his black screen in utter shock. He knew pushing them away and acting like an arse wasn't the right thing to do but what Louis was doing to his insides was scaring him big time. The way he already had a hold on him felt so different from the last time and the last time it had ended in marriage and then divorce. So, what was going on this time?

Because he couldn't shake that question off, he brought his laptop back to life and typed in Louis' name again, directly being bombarded with the familiar headlines again. This time though, he ignored them and typed the word gay right behind the name, way too intrigued. That more specific search actually led him to a very different article from years ago. It mentioned Louis' last Instagram post before he disappeared. That post was shown in the article and Harry had to read it thrice to let the words sink in fully. He had thanked his fans and his old teammates for all the years of loyalty and love and support. He had told the world that he would disappear now and never come back. He had told the world in an afterthought that he was gay and always has been.

Knitting his forehead together, Harry opened his Instagram and searched for the post. To his surprise, it was actually still there with millions of comments but no reaction from Louis' side. Some people were confused, others angry or sad or felt betrayed. Others were mean to no end but others were supportive.

One comment mentioned a statement from Louis' ex-manager right after the post. Apparently, that guy had clarified that it was just a cruel joke from a bitter Louis, who was pissed at everyone for being forced to retire due to his injury. He wasn't gay, more the opposite, and only wanted attention and tried this as a way to stay relevant. Many people believed that in an instant and that made Harry falter. If they believed Louis would do this so quickly, he had probably given them a reason to do so, right?

More confused than before, Harry dug deeper. Away from official headlines and the fakeness of the media, he searched social media. It took him hours to find what he was looking for but when he finally found it, his head started spinning. A huge part of Louis' specific fanbase had always thought that he was gay and forcefully closeted by his team. They had always picked up a vibe, especially in his first year.

And then there has been a very blurry video of Louis and his former teammate Sean O'Kelly. Apparently, it showed them making out in a club but it hasn't been clear enough to actually see much. The day after it had been posted everywhere, there has been an official statement denying any speculations of sorts. Dozens of headlines followed, placing Sean with a girl named Lucy and Louis with all of the women he had read about before.

Getting a bit more backstory through these old stories, Harry was convinced that the fans had been right about the video. All the articles afterwards were screaming damage control. He has seen it before with Zayn. The only thing that still didn't make sense to him was his daughter but the internet had options for that as well. People had many theories. Conspiracy theories.

One half of the still-existing fanbase was sure it had been a drunken mistake. With the way he has always been out partying and drunk to probably deal with the closeting, they were convinced he had ended up with that woman and gotten her pregnant, even if he was gay. Everything could happen when drunk and desperate.

The other half was convinced it wasn't his child. At least, not with her. She was just another stunt to them and a gold-digger. They were sure Louis had been dragged into this stunt against his will and the kid was just another victim of this industry. Maybe the kid was adopted because he wanted a family and had a secret boyfriend or it was someone else's child and he only had to pose as the father and that's why he had really retired.

All these different takes on what could have happened drove him insane, so he closed all sites and decided to call it a day. For now, he chose to only focus on the part that confirmed his gut feeling about Louis. He wasn't what the internet made him out to be. He wasn't a ruthless womanizer and an arrogant and bitter ex-footie player. No, he was way kinder and shier than people knew. He was soft and beautiful and funny and charming in his own way.

"Fuck, maybe I am crushing on him".