A dull and steady beeping made his head throb. Groaning at the growing headache, Louis blinked his tired eyes open, squinting against the bright white light at the ceiling. His limbs felt heavy and his throat was hurting as dry as it was. The more he woke up, the more he realised how warm it was in the room. Maybe his brain was only overheating because his mouth tasted like puke and his stomach felt bloody empty, almost painfully so. Glancing around the room, he felt his racing heart slow down a little when he realised he was in a hospital. Now some things made sense.

That thought slowly brought his memories back and reminded him why he was here in the first place. That bloody soy cake. Now cake had truly been his downfall. In his anger and disappointment, he hadn't noticed his symptoms earlier and it made him think. It might have been an accident but he was in the hospital because of Harry, more or less. This couldn't happen again.

Before he could decipher what that realisation meant, the door opened and a nurse came inside. "Hello, Mr. Tomlinson. My name is Annabelle and I'm glad to see that you're awake. How are you feeling? Any pain?".

"My head aches a little bit and my throat's dry as fuck but other than that, I'm not sure" Louis answered her truthfully. "I can talk normally again without gasping for air and I'm starving".

"You've been out for a few hours. It was pretty bad but you've been brought in right in time to prevent the worst" she let him know while checking his values on the monitor by his bed.

Scrunching up his face, Louis tried to remember how he had ended up here but he could only remember the feeling of slowly suffocating. Then there was a fleeting memory of a touch and a voice. Harry's voice. Eyeing Annabelle a bit closer, Louis swore she had the same green eyes and the same curls and the same nose and the same dimples. She literally looked just like ...

"Shit" Louis blurted out mindlessly, earning a raised eyebrow from her in amusement. "Sorry, I just ... You're Harry's mother, aren't you?".

"I am, dear" Annabelle confirmed unfazed. "He brought you here and has been pacing up and down the hall outside this door for hours. He's feeling pretty guilty, which ... I get, to be honest".

"Yeah, same" Louis wanted to solely blame Harry for this mess but it wasn't only on him. Maybe he had labelled the boxes wrong and poisoned him by accident but in his right mind, Louis would've questioned the unusual nutty taste of the chocolate cake. But he hadn't because he'd been blinded by his rage and anger. "It was an accident though, so nothing to feel sorry for. It can always happen and ...".

"It shouldn't have" Annabelle just looked at him, which made him shut up for some reason. Probably the power of a mother. "It looks like you're as good as new but they're gonna keep you for a few more hours to make sure you're really fine. You should maybe eat something or at least drink some water".

"I would if I had anything" Louis pointed out the obvious lack of anything to eat or drink in his proximity.

"I make sure you'll get something" Annabelle smiled at him.

"But you're not gonna wipe my memory, right?" Louis wanted to joke but his attempt fell horribly flat, making him wince.

Pausing at the door to look at him, Annabelle actually looked amused and winked at him. "No, not yet".

With his jaw on the floor, he gaped after her. That woman had the best sense of humour but he had no time to think more about this because his own mother walked right into the room with worry written all over her face. Feeling bad for making her fear the worst, he offered her a weak smile before looking down.

"Oh, Buttercup. I was so worried. Aria called me and told me what happened. How are you feeling?" his mother Jasmine sat down in a chair right by his bed, making him wonder how Aria had found out about what had happened. She hadn't been there.

"Better but I'm starving and might faint again because of thirst, to be honest" Louis listened to his body to give him and her an honest answer, feeling the tiredness in his bones.

"I got you covered" Jasmine took out a bag with two sandwiches and a bottle of sparkling water. "Bella found some water for you and I went down to the kiosk to buy you some food. I knew you'd be starving after that procedure".

"I don't even wanna know any of the details. Please, just give me the food" Louis shuddered at the thought of being in the ER, pretty thankful that he had been out the entire time as weird as that was.

"Here" Jasmine handed him one of the sandwiches.

"Thanks, Mum" Louis smiled gratefully at her. "But you really didn't have to come all the way here just to ...".

"After that call, I definitely needed to come. I couldn't leave you alone. You're my baby and always will be" Jasmine insisted just as stubborn as he would. They were family, after all.

"I love you" Louis felt warm all over.

"I love you too, Buttercup" Jasmine squeezed his ankle through the covers. "But how did this actually happen? Aria wasn't very clear on how you ended up eating enough soy to go into shock".

Swallowing bits of his sandwich, Louis pondered how to word this without having to go into too much detail about why he's been angry. But there just wasn't a way around the truth. "Harry had a cake for me and I went to pick it up together with Alexa's treats but we ended up arguing and I took the wrong box? Or wait, no. He said he had labelled them incorrectly. One was for his sister, who is vegan and gluten-free, so he used a lot of soy in the one I took home by accident. And as angry as I was, I started eating the cake immediately while sending Sean texts. I didn't really notice the different taste until it was too late. Harry showed up to warn me but I had already eaten half the cake because as we both know, I tend to eat my feelings. So, I collapsed and apparently, he brought me here but I can't remember that".

"What made you angry enough to eat your feelings, Baby?" she eyed him worriedly, reaching out to touch his cheek.

"Nothing important. Not anymore. Just ..." Louis didn't want to think about Harry using his magic to manipulate people but it was hard not to. "Harry and I ... we're through. For good".

"I'm sorry, Darling. I know you really liked him" Jasmine caressed his cheek gently, her eyes screaming that she wanted to ask more but she didn't, their last phone call concerning Harry and not being good enough for him still present in both their minds.

"I did but he's not ... He's different than I thought and we would never work out anyway, no matter the circumstances" Louis felt his heart squeeze at his own words, not ready to give Harry up just yet but he needed to. For his own sanity and health. "It's for the better. Believe me. I'll be fine".

"I know you will" Her words were loaded with heavy meaning. He could feel that deep in his bones and didn't like it. Pity was shit. "He's still outside though, waiting for ... I'm not sure".

"Good for him but I don't care. I don't wanna see him" Louis made his decision right here, knowing it was for the best. "Can I have some water? Feels like a dessert".

Giving him the peace of mind he truly needed, his mother didn't bring it up again for the time she stayed with him. Instead, they talked about his sisters, Bethany and his book dropping in a few days. Like this, the time flew by and he was already about to get discharged. His mother went ahead to get the car ready while Bella took care of everything else. Back on his feet, Louis slowly made his way out of the way too-bright room and into the wing's hallway, where Harry was apparently still waiting for him.

"Louis" Harry breathed out in disbelief when he spotted him, immediately approaching him. "Do you need a hand to get ...?".

"I'm fine" Louis backed away from him, not wanting Harry to touch him in the slightest right now. With his face falling, Harry seemed to get the message finally. "I'll be able to leave on my own just fine. You can go home, could have done that hours ago".

"I wanted to make sure you were alright" Harry didn't reach out when Louis walked past him with baby steps. "I needed to ...".

"I don't really care what you needed to do, okay?" Louis stopped walking to look up at Harry, seeing him swallow at his tone. "I only wanna go home and forget about today and preferably the last months as well. I don't want ... I really liked you, Harry. But you lied to me over and over again, hurting me while you were at it although you knew how hard it was for me to even think about trusting anyone. Now I don't know if I should've ever trusted you. I only know that I don't trust you anymore and your comment about me being some privileged layabout was the final nail in the coffin".

"I never meant to hurt you" Harry's eyes were pleading. For what, Louis had no idea and didn't want to find out.

"Even worse" Louis willed himself to stay strong. It was for his own good to cut him off right here, right now. "Not that you don't think the same, but it'll be best to not see each other again. Let's end this here and be strangers again, yeah? Choose Phil".

Not waiting for a response, Louis turned around and made his way out of the hospital toward his mother's car. Climbing inside, Louis stared out of the window while she started the engine. Like this, he could see Harry leaving as well with his head down. It broke something inside of Louis but he pushed that feeling down. Harry was meant to be with Phil, not him. That was obvious.

In silence, his mother drove them over to Louis' place, where they got out together and she helped him inside, still feeling a little bit weak in the knees. Inside his home, he only wanted to sleep. This has been the longest day of his entire life. It has been going on forever and so much has happened. So much bad shit.

Making sure he was actually fine, Jasmine left him alone when he was lying in bed with Alexa, petting her head absent-mindedly. His thoughts were wandering back to Harry, of course. Louis knew he had overreacted the tiniest bit in the bakery earlier. It wasn't his place to tell Harry what to do with his magic but it had triggered Louis big time. Any form of manipulation was a red flag for him, no matter in which way. Too many people had tried to use and manipulate him in the past for him to look past this. To him, it was simply wrong to alter their landlord's mind, no matter the reason. But Harry thought it was right and justified. This alone would've torn them apart. Thankfully, they've been over before this. They had been a ticking timebomb. Nothing more.

Lying down on his side, Louis looked at Alexa, who watched him curiously, definitely sensing his crestfallen mood. Pulling her into his arms, he chose to forget about Harry. Everything had been a disaster and he should've given up sooner but he was his own worst enemy, at the end of the day. Too naïve sometimes. Too easily persuaded to forgive and trust someone. Too bloody inexperienced to detect red flags earlier. But three disasters in a row had taught him that he was better off alone. Romantic feelings had brought him drama and pain only. He was over it and needed a break.

His ringing phone made him jump up in bed, startling Alexa with his scared cussing. Petting her head again to apologise, Louis grabbed his phone and checked the caller-ID, feeling a true smile blooming on his face for the first time in hours when he read Bethany's name on the display.

"Hey, Beth" Louis answered the call, feeling oddly at ease now.

"Loulou, are you okay? You're not here and Mummy said you were sick" Bethany's frown was noticeable in her voice.

Feeling guilt wash over him, Louis closed his eyes to drown out any other noises except for her voice. "I'm sorry I'm missing out on game night but I had to go to the hospital for a couple of hours to check my breathing. It was a little messed up but now I'm fine and I'll be there for your mummy's birthday tomorrow. I promise".

"Promises can't be broken, Loulou" she reminded him cutely.

"I know, Love" Louis smiled at her adorableness. "We're gonna celebrate tomorrow and eat tons of cake, yeah?".

"I love cake" Bethany squealed excitedly.

"Me too" Louis forced the words out, not sure if that was still true.

"Daddy said it's just gonna be us and grandma, so I can get as much cake as I want" Bethany told him happily, Maria's voice sounding in the background to tell her it was time for bed. "I have to sleep now but you will be here when I wake up".

"I'll be there for lunch, my angel" Louis corrected her sweetly.

"I can't wait. Love you, Loulou".

"And I love you, Beth".

When she had hung up on him, he thought about the upcoming day and what he had originally planned. Now he would show up empty-handed. Well, he still had a gift but he had really wanted to bake something for Maria. That was only a nice dream now. He could never do it on his own. It would be another disaster and he's had enough of those.

Still having a few questions about the day, Louis face-timed Aria to get some answers. "Hey, Ari".

"You're alright. Thank God" Aria sighed out in sheer relief when her face appeared on his screen. "Are you home yet?".

"I'm in bed with Alexa, so yeah" Louis swayed his phone a bit to the side to get Alexa into the frame. "I was discharged like thirty minutes ago after being told how to proceed on my own".

"Fuck, I was so worried. An allergic shock can end so bloody badly and I'm just so glad you're fine and home ...".

"How did you even know about this?" Louis talked over her, his curiosity overpowering him. "Who told you what happened?".

"Àmbar did. She called me, so that I could tell your family in case I thought it was necessary, which I did" Aria explained to him, only confusing him more but she noticed that immediately. "He told her to let me know. He didn't know what else to do".

"Ah".

"How are things between you two?" Aria checked worriedly.

"Over," Louis said simply. "Over and done".

"Just like this? What happened?" Aria frowned at the finality in his voice. "Did he make his decision and chose ...?".

"Yes and no, I guess" Louis knew he was making no sense.

"Explain, please" Aria just waited patiently.

"I found out that he uses potions in his pastries to manipulate his landlord's mind and we argued over it because I told him it was wrong and he didn't see any reason" Louis told her defeatedly, needing to talk with someone about this. "He kept justifying his actions and it only made me angry because ...".

"It triggered you" Aria understood directly. "I get that. It isn't right but why is he doing that? He didn't seem like a bad person".

"He's not" Louis replied before he could stop himself. "He's not a bad person but also not entirely good, not in the way I thought he was. He showed that a couple of times but this right here was the last punch to the face I needed. He lied way too much and thinks manipulation can be excused for the right reasons. I can't ...".

"And you don't have to" Aria knew what he was unable to say. "You don't have to be fine with what he's doing just because you fancy him. You can still disagree and argue over what's right or wrong. Blindly defending and justifying someone's wrong actions because of feelings is way worse".

"I know" Louis didn't know what to say anymore. He was done with this part of his life. "It's just all so messed up. I mean, I knew today would be the last time I'd ever see him but that's not what I meant. I didn't expect things to go so wrong".

"What do you mean?" Aria knitted her eyebrows together.

"Come on. We both know that yesterday meant nothing and he only fucked me to get it out of his system. Now he didn't miss out on anything and he can happily go back to Phil and renew their bloody marriage" Louis sat up now, leaning against the headrest and trying not to think about their moment in this very bed. "He chose Phil from the moment he showed up. There was no real decision to make. He only wanted to keep his options open, in this case me and my body. I know that, he knows that and it's done".

"Are you sure?" Aria hooked softly. "Did he say that?".

"In a way and he didn't correct me when I said it. He wants Phil and that's alright. I get it" Louis thought back to Harry making his intentions very clear yesterday. "It's my own fault that I got hurt this much over nothing. After Peter and Tom, I should've known better than to give love another chance. It's obviously not meant for me and I understood that by now. Dating is off the table for me and it's for the best. I learned my lesson".

"Peter was a massive asshole and you never deserved to be used and played like this only because some people try to get attention at any cost" Aria's gaze hardened at the mention of his two past crushes, one worse than the other. "And Tom ...".

"Preferred my friend and never even considered me because I'm not dateable" Louis remembered the indirect words that had never been said out loud but had been transmitted by gazes and actions clearly, even if Luke still denied that truth. "I understand Tom. In his shoes, I would've chosen Luke too".

"But you never did" Aria pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Because we're friends" Louis reminded her factually. "I've never thought about him like this and looking at my inability to date, it was probably for the best. He only deserves the best".

"You might have horrible taste in men but that doesn't make you undateable, Louis" Aria noted strongly. "Many people have worse taste than you and only get lucky once. You'll find your mister right one day. I'm sure of it".

"I'm not. I don't want to anymore" Louis appreciated what she was doing but it was pointless. His mind was made up. "I've been burned enough in my life. The latest wildfire has burned down all bridges and it's for good".

"You're definitely an author. Who even says something like this seriously?" Aria cackled out of nowhere. "Sorry".

Getting her point, Louis cracked up laughing as well. "No, you're right. I've been thinking of this analogy before but it's nothing to be said out loud, like ever".

"If you feel it, it's okay to say it" Aria contradicted him like the best friend and most wonderful person she was.

"I feel like I need a break. Since he's been in my life, everything has been chaotic and stressful and dramatic. All the pain and rage and anger need to go. I told him we're through and he didn't argue because I knew it's what he wanted too" Louis shared his true feelings with her, simply speaking his mind. "It might hurt for a little while but I'll be over it in no time. And even if not, there's not really anything I can do. We're no match. We have different values and he still loves his ex. If he can go back to him and be happy, I want that for him. I would never try to intervene, even if I stood a bloody chance, which I don't. I just want all of this to be over. Gone".

"Okay. If that's what you want" Aria accepted his decision.

"It is" Louis confirmed surely. "From now on, I'm gonna focus on my family, Bethany, my friends and my book. I can't just drop everything for some pretty guy because he makes me nervous and messes with my head. Never again".

"Then I'll be here to distract you as best as possible. How about we take a trip up to visit Sean next week? A change of air and scene to clear our heads, mh?" Aria offered him supportively.

"That sounds lovely, Ari. You're the best" Louis felt his eyes starting to water, the love of his friend overwhelming him. "I really do need that. Everything reminds me of him".

"Tomorrow's Maria's birthday, right?" Aria asked curtly instead of addressing his last revelation.

"Yes, why?".

"I'm gonna come over first thing in the morning and we can bake a special cake for her. Would you like that?" Aria was definitely out to make him cry tonight. He loved her to pieces.

"I'd love that, Ari" Louis snivelled emotionally, not able to keep himself together any longer. "Thank you".

"Everything for you, Louis" Aria smiled understandingly at him. "Now you should get some sleep and rest, yeah?".

"I'll try my best" Louis settled back down onto his pillow. "But I can't promise anything. You know Alexa can be a little monster".

"She won't be a problem if you cuddle her" Aria looked pointedly at him, amusement swinging in her voice.

Showily, Louis wrapped his arms around Alexa and pressed their heads together. "Like this?".

"Just like this" Aria shook her head at his antics with a smile.

"Then I guess we'll manage to get a good night's sleep today" Louis wanted to sound cheerful but he wasn't feeling it yet.

"You can't more than try" Aria studied his face for a moment. "Are you really okay?".

"I'm okay, Ari" Louis assured her before they hung up and he snuggled deeper into his pillows, tiredness settling deep into his bones and his eyes falling off almost immediately.

No, I'm not.