Yawning into his elbow yet again, Harry wiped the last table clean and buffed out a cloud of breath when he was done. He hasn't slept that well last night, twisting and turning with guilt and shame. Louis' words had circled around in his head for hours. The words of his disappointed friends had found their way into his stormy dreams and the urge to fix this mess had kept him from sleeping more than three hours total. Logically, he was absolutely knackered now and kept yawning. He really needed one of his own energy-booster cupcakes to get through the day.

The entire morning, he had tried to avoid any kind of talks or mindless chats with Sarah and Niall, yesterday still too present in his mind. Well, Niall knew that he had been able to finally pull his head out of his ass but neither Sarah nor Àmbar knew that yet and somehow addressing that casually wasn't so easy. So, he took out his phone, finally turning it on after hours, and decided to text Àmbar because she would definitely not come over today.

To Àmbar:

'Hey, I wanted to say thank you for putting me in my place and telling me off for being a dick. You're a great friend and you were right, again. I'm gonna fix this'.

Every cell and bone in his body hoped that Àmbar would believe him and they could go back to normal. The feeling of her being mad at him wasn't something he ever wanted to experience again, especially when she had every right to be mad for a bit longer. He had totally forgotten about a tiny little detail when he was ranting about Louis and his self-made issues and it made him feel like the worst friend on the planet.

From Àmbar:

'Was about time you got the stick removed from your ass, H. I'm always right and you should know that by now'.

'You better have the best apology known to man ready for your boy before you even think about talking to him. You've been a right prick about this'.

And he knew she was right but the two simple words your boy made him blush stupidly, locking his screen and sliding his phone back into his pocket. His heart needed to get a grip. Louis wasn't his, far from it, and after the last couple of days, Harry wasn't so sure if that was even still in the cards. He wanted it though.

"Shit" Harry cursed under his breath, feeling so stupid for having taken so long to realise what he really wanted from Louis.

"Hey, H!" Niall called out for him, making him whirl around to face him. "Wanna take your break now? Sarah and I are done".

This has been the first time in a couple of months that they haven't spent their break together but it wasn't because of their heated conversation yesterday. Holden was sick and Emma was in Uni like every Tuesday. With Holden out, someone had to stay back and take their break later, so Harry had offered instantly.

"Um ... actually, I might just leave a bit earlier today instead if that's okay with both of you" Harry walked over to them, his phone burning in his pocket with the need to text Louis right now.

"Of course, that's okay. You shouldn't even have to ask" Niall waved his question off, indirectly reminding him that he was the boss. "But why?".

"Well, I'm hoping, really desperately hoping, that I might be able to get Louis to give me a chance to explain myself and apologise. I need to fix this and tell him t ... I can't let him think that was the actual reason for my shitty behaviour" Harry scratched his neck, feeling uncomfortable just talking about this to his friends. How could he ever tell Louis everything he needed to know?

"That is the most valid reason to dip early that I've ever heard. You're definitely dismissed" Niall grinned cheekily at him.

"So, you've come to your senses then?" Sarah tilted her head aside in question, hope swinging in her voice.

"I did, yeah. And Niall was a big help" Harry offered her a timid smile. "All of you were. I've wanted to thank you for being the best friends in the world. Your honesty means everything to me, even if I didn't wanna hear it. You didn't take my bullshit".

"And we never will, H" Sarah flicked his chin before throwing an arm around his shoulders. "Which reminds me, you look like shit. You might want to fix that before talking to Louis".

"Or keep it that way to further underline your point of being restless because of your guilt" Niall sniggered idiotically.

"One worse than the other" Harry shook his head with a smile. "I barely slept the night, too restless. I need to fix this".

"You really do if you don't wanna lose him, which I assume you don't" Sarah looked apologetically up at him.

"I really don't. As scared as I am, I can't and shouldn't ignore that pull between us that I've felt from the very moment we met. It must mean something" Harry let them in on his thoughts.

"Aww" Niall cooed exaggeratedly to loosen him up.

"Fuck off" Harry pushed his shoulder but ended up laughing.

"Well, Coco didn't hiss at him when they first met, so he must be rather special. She rarely tolerates anyone" Sarah reminded him casually of the most mind-blowing thing that has happened.

"She can probably sense that her slave is smitten with him" Niall cackled loudly.

"Lovely".

Getting back to work, they survived the noon rush unscathed and felt strangely high on energy afterwards instead of tired. Maybe they've eaten one too many energy-booster cupcakes but now it was too late to change that. With that energy, Harry took all of his courage and texted Louis, begging him to come over to talk. His immediate answer made a cold chill run down his spine.

From Louis'

'I really don't know why I should. Your silence was loud and clear. Nothing left to say. I got that'.

Shrinking in on himself, Harry dropped his phone onto the counter and buried his face in his hands, gaining Niall's and Sarah's attention. Picking up his phone, they read the text and exchanged a look that Harry couldn't decipher. Maybe it was because he was only peaking at them through his fingers.

"That's it? You're giving up this easily?" Sarah put his phone down to crucify him with her eyes.

"Yes? He doesn't want to talk to me and I'm gonna re ...".

"God, damn it, Harry!" Niall slapped his arm harshly, making him fall silent. "Even I can see his pain and fear between the lines. He probably expects the worst from you wanting to talk".

"Then what am I supposed to do? I can't force him to talk to me" Harry was out of his depth here.

"You have to figure that out on your own, kid" Niall shrugged nonchalantly before he got back to work.

"He's right. Only you can find the right words to make him see that you really have something important to say that might not hurt him again" Sarah agreed with Niall softly. "You're on your own".

For a moment, Harry stared down at the dark screen of his phone, contemplating if he should leave Louis alone or start one last try to maybe explain himself and fix what he had broken. Even if Louis never wanted to see him again, he deserved more than his cowardly silence.

To Louis:

'You deserve more than my silence though. Lou, please. If you don't wanna see me again after today, I'll accept that but you deserve so much better than what happened. I'm sorry'.

Just as he had hit send, someone he didn't want to see walked into the bakery. It was the mean son of their former landlord, who had died five years ago. Since then, Theo here had made their lives a bit more complicated and unpleasant. For some reason, he was determined to hound them out by being a pain in their asses but they were prepared for this. No one would drive them out of anything. This bakery was their baby and they would protect it. Even if it was from its own landlord, who didn't want that job.

"Mr. Green, how can we help you today?" Sarah put on her most polite voice but Harry could hear the distaste clearly.

"First of all, I'd like one of your Danishes. It's always nicer to talk over food" Mr Green started in his fake friendly voice, always trying to come off as no threat when he really was. "And then I'd like to talk to you about some rent-related topics".

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Niall hissed under his breath but Harry only shrugged. Theo always came up with new bizarre things that he could never actually put through because they made no sense and weren't legally correct. So far.

"Your special Danish is on its way" Sarah smiled sweetly at him.

"Good" Mr Green walked over to a table and sat down, waiting and looking like the biggest douchebag in town.

Working quickly, the three of them plated Theo's Danish as fast as possible and Harry carried it over to him. "Here you go".

"Thanks" Mr Green immediately bit into it, moaning loudly and getting crumbs everywhere, like every bloody time.

Tensely, he let a few more moments pass before he sat down at the table as well, waiting for Mr Green to pay him any mind. When he did, Harry put on a polite smile. "So, you wanted to know how things are going here, right?".

Blinking slowly, Mr Green nodded after a long moment, finishing his pastry. "Correct. Everything alright?".

"Couldn't be better, thanks" Harry looked past him at Niall and Sarah, signalling him that they were in the clear yet again. "Anything else I can help you with? Anything on your mind?".

"There was something I wanted to talk about but ..." Mr Green scratched his head, his eyes drifting away. "I forgot".

Smiling to himself, Harry put on a neutral face. "When you remember, just let me know, mh?".

"I will but it couldn't have been important if I already forgot about it" Mr Green picked the crumbs off of his plate. "I'll be on my way then. These Danishes are delicious. Never stop making them".

"Oh, we won't. They always work their magic" Harry stood up in sync with him, trying to stay as neutral as possible.

"I believe that in a heartbeat" Mr Green buttoned up his coat. "I see you guys soon, yeah?".

"Whenever you want" Harry let him walk past him before he made his way over to his friends, hearing their bell chiming and signalling his exit. "Thank God, he's gone. Fucking finally".

"Um, H" Niall cleared his throat weirdly, beckoning him to turn around, so he did.

As soon as he turned around, the smile slipped off of his face. Louis was standing right in front of him, a slight frown visible on his forehead. "What was that all about?".

"Oh, um ... just a bloody rude customer. Turned out he's just picky but he loved his Danish" Harry lied automatically and didn't know why but he couldn't explain what had really happened without telling Louis about something he just didn't know yet. "You ... you came".

"Looks like it" Louis replied dryly.

"Do you ... Let's talk somewhere else, yeah? It's too crowded here" Harry waved around the almost empty bakery, turning to his friends. "I'm clocking out for the day, okay?".

"It's your call, boss" Niall held his hands up for no reason at all, smirking mischievously.

"We got this. Leona just came in" Sarah patted his shoulder.

"Good" Harry could feel his pulse picking at the prospect of being alone with Louis again, getting a chance to explain himself. "Shall we then?".

Cringing at his own incompetence, Harry led Louis around the counter and into the backroom, making sure with a flick of his hand that nothing magical would be noticeable. Passing the room, they walked through a backdoor into the hallway leading up to his flat above the bakery. They needed privacy for this conversation.

"Are we going to your flat?" Louis questioned when they started walking up the couple of stairs, his voice a little bit off.

"Yes," Harry answered simply, anxious as hell.

"If you're trying to ...".

"I'm not, I swear" Harry whirled around to him, his face looking crazy and he knew that but he couldn't let Louis think the worst.

"Okay then" Louis seemed to believe him by some miracle.

Taking the last few stairs, Harry unlocked his door and let them into his home. Passing his bathroom and storage room on both sides of the small entrance area; where they left their shoes and coats; they walked into the living room, not knowing what to do next. Needing something to help his throat, Harry excused himself to rush into his half-open kitchen to get something to drink for both of them. Turning back around, he spotted Louis looking around the rest of his flat. Right now, he was examining his dining area which was technically still part of his oblong living room but was perfectly located in between his bathroom and his bedroom.

"Water?" Harry made his presence known, startling Louis.

"Sure" Louis came closer to take his glass of water. "Couch?".

"Please" Harry didn't trust his voice right now.

Together but still apart, they sat down on his couch but didn't look at each other. This tension-filled silence was suffocating him but he knew he had to be the one to start this conversation. He had wanted to talk to Louis, after all. Not the other way around.

"I... Thank you for coming. I didn't think you would and I ... I really needed to tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you the last couple of days. I was a jerk and that for no reason at all. You didn't deserve that" Harry just jumped the train, terrified.

"I really didn't" Louis put his glass down on the table, looking at him now. "You could've just told me that you wanted something different from this and it would've been better than this bloody silent treatment. The things you didn't say hurt way more than anything you could've said, Harry".

"I know and I'm sorry" Harry hung his head down in shame. "For the record, I don't have an issue with anything you told me, okay? I know I made it look like I did but I really don't. I ...".

"You have a funny way of showing that," Louis remarked dryly.

"Fuck, I know. I'm endlessly sorry" Harry rubbed his hands over his face in frustration, knowing he had to come clean and be one hundred per cent honest for Louis to believe him. "My own fears and mental baggage got the worst out of me and made me blind to what I was doing. I couldn't see what I was doing, not fully. I didn't realise that I was turning this into a bigger deal than it was because it was the perfect chance to push you away and cut you off. So, I ran with it without meaning to".

"Huh, okay" Louis made it known that he was indeed listening. "So, you're sorry for acting like a twat but you also weren't lying".

"No" Harry's eyes grew big, cursing his own inability to get to the bloody point. "I mean, yes. I am sorry for acting like a twat. I made you think things with my silence that aren't true and only because I'm a coward. I am so bloody scared".

"Of what?" Louis asked a lot gentler than Harry deserved.

"Putting myself out there again, I guess" Harry admitted finally because Louis deserved the whole truth. "After my marriage failed and we got divorced, I've sworn off dating, to be honest. I didn't want to give anyone else the chance to hurt me. Phil and I met, got together after a month and talked about marriage way too soon. Maybe it was foolish to get married right after graduation without clarifying some rather important things. Things that made us drift apart and fall out of love. And now I'm terrified of that happening again. For years, I convinced myself that giving this a second chance wasn't worth it, especially after my horrible date with Chris. This fear has gotten a life on its own and I can't always control it. It makes me say and do stupid things I don't mean".

"Like literally running away from me with some bullshit made-up excuse of some lost recipe" Louis reminded him of the way he had fled Louis' house on Saturday like the biggest asshole in town. He had felt so bad for this specifically.

"To be fair, I did promise her to find that recipe" Harry pointed out matter-of-factly because he couldn't help himself. "But yes, like that or our conversation in the park. I was a prick".

"Not denying that" Louis actually smiled a little bit at that. "But I get it. I'm dealing with that too. Fear can be a bitch".

"Looks like we have that in common, if in two totally different ways" Harry thought back to Louis losing it over him knowing about his identity, getting it by now. Fear was pretty strong.

"Mh" Louis hummed agreeingly, biting his bottom lip, which was kinda distracting. "I do understand though if you're actually freaked out by ...".

"I'm not" Harry reached for his hand, eyeing Louis' reaction to see if he could take it. Instead of waiting for Harry, Louis took a hold of Harry's outstretched hand himself. "There is nothing to be freaked out about, Louis. It's nothing bad and it didn't change a thing, I swear. My fear made me overreact and I'm so sorry for making you feel like this would make me stop liking you. It didn't".

"No?" Louis looked so fearful and vulnerable right now.

"No" Harry shook his head, squeezing Louis' hand. "But I was thinking about how I hoped you didn't think I would expect you to just ... It changed the way I ... At the basic core, I didn't want to overwhelm you and that's why I offered to press pause on us".

"You can't know what overwhelms me, Haz" Louis frowned at his words but didn't retreat his hand. "You can't just assume those things and run with it. It's wrong".

"You're right and I know that now. I can see it. Me assuming any of these things just strengthened my bloody fear and my fight or flight instincts, which ruined so much and I'm sorry" Harry rubbed his thumb over Louis' knuckles, praying he wasn't making this worse with his honesty.

"I assumed things as well" Louis spoke up after a moment of silence. "When you admitted that you knew who I am, I assumed that you were only trying to lure me in to make me like you. I really thought you only wanted the tea to spread it around and ... I don't even know for what reason. It was only for a moment but still".

"That was justified, Lou. My stupid assumptions weren't" Harry smiled at his attempt to make him feel better. "From now on, I'll try to never assume anything ever again but we still don't know each other that well, so it might happen again. I can promise to not ...".

"You know, dating kind of entails getting to know each other and finding a way to communicate" Louis cut him off hesitantly, making Harry's heart beat faster. "I ... I thought that's what we were doing but I get it if you don't wanna d ...".

"That's what we're doing, Lou" Harry could kiss him right now for his bravery, seeing how scared he was of getting rejected again but still putting himself out in the open like this. "I hope".

"You pulled away, not me" Louis locked eyes with him shortly before looking down at their hands. "Maybe you don't wanna get to know me anymore after I told you I could get triggered by ...".

"I still wanna get to know everything about you," Harry told him earnestly. "But that means we probably have to talk about your past a bit more detailed at some point, so I don't trigger you".

"I'm not sure that's gonna be very helpful because I don't even know myself what could trigger me" Louis retreated his hand now to pull his legs up into his chest. "But I wanted to tell you anyway actually when I thought we were dating. I would've told you about it yesterday if you had reacted better to certain parts".

"I'm an idiot" Harry hated himself right now. "To be clear, I do not wanna know about your past just to hear again why you're a virgin, okay? That is not it. I only wanna understand you better".

"There isn't much to understand. I just always loved football and played for as long as I can remember. Outside of school and in school but I quit the school team after I had my first kiss with a guy on the team. His name was Cody and he was struggling with his internalized homophobia, so he was kinda mean about it after it happened and I didn't want to get bullied, so ... yeah ..." Louis surprisingly started telling him more about himself just like that. Harry hadn't expected that at all. "But like this, I was able to only focus on one team entirely and it got me my first club deal with eighteen. That's where I met Sean and we just clicked, as friends. After what happened with Cody, I wasn't so keen on my teammates knowing about my sexuality because I knew how homophobic this sport can be. I didn't plan on staying in the closet either but I wasn't going to announce it to the world. Anyway, as you know, Sean and I ended up making out one day and it was filmed and spread all over social media. I got a call from Nick, my ex-manager, and was introduced to Brian, a guy from the PR team and they made it pretty clear that I couldn't come out. I got my first beard and it made me overly cautious".

"I see why. The fear of someone finding out and having another one of these PR talks was probably huge" Harry understood what he meant, trying not to picture a broken, young Louis.

"That's an understatement. I was terrified because I thought it could end my career, which it could have. Definitely" Louis went on with his story. "From then on, I got painted as a womanizer because many people assumed I was gay and weren't happy with it. Apparently, I was too good of a footballer to let go because of my sexuality or something. So, I got beard after beard but they never lasted long. God forbid I'd look good in the media for once".

"I'm sorry" Harry didn't know what else to say. He could only imagine what that had done to Louis' mental health. He had already mentioned paranoia and trust issues and he got it now.

"I think I was twenty-five when I had that one fateful pap walk with Vicky. Two months after it, she informed us that she was pregnant from some guy. My management paid her to not get an abortion and pretend that the child was mine. Of course, she took the money and literally sold her child for fame and fortune but I couldn't let that happen. I rebelled more than I ever had and simply refused to play along after she was born. My injury was a blessing because I was out long enough that they didn't care about me anymore and didn't want me back, not that I wanted back in anyway but still. Like this, I got released from my contract but should've signed some NDAs, which I didn't. Maria and Paul adopted her and here we are now. I'm paranoid to no end and have tons of trust issues that can never be fixed. That's what you're dealing with. Take it or leave it".

Knowing Louis only tried to sound so dismissive because he was still scared and unsure if he could trust Harry, he didn't take it to heart. Instead, he scooted closer and grabbed Louis' hand again, making them lock eyes. "I take it".

"Really? With all that you know?" Louis looked flabbergasted.

"I take it all if you take me with all of my fears as well" Harry smiled at him fearfully, his heart on the line.

"So that means we're dating again, for real this time" Louis tried to get what was going on.

"If you still want to, then yes" Harry swallowed heavily.

"Didn't I make that obvious by literally telling you my entire story? You're not very bright, mh?" Louis started grinning brightly.

"You melted my brain. It's not my fault" Harry giggled happily.

"Idiot" Louis rolled his eyes smilingly.

"Would you go on an official date with this idiot then? Tomorrow?" Harry threw all caution into the wind, feeling light-headed.

Blinking at him in surprise, Louis started beaming. "Yes".

His heart felt so stupidly warm right now. "Can I kiss you?".

"Before the first date? How scandalous" Louis gasped funnily.

"Is that a yes or a no? I didn't quite catch it" Harry could swear his entire body was on fire just thinking about kissing Louis.

"I think I deserve a kiss" Louis unexpectedly cupped his cheek, bringing him in closer.

"All the kisses" Harry breathed out dumbly.

Saving him from saying more stupid things, Louis closed the last distance between them and kissed him softly. Harry's eyes fell close immediately at the impact and he sank into the feeling of having Louis this close again. This time, their kiss was different though. Closed-mouthed and without any tongue, the exact and total opposite of their make-out session three days ago and he was loving it. It felt like a silent promise. A restart. Simple but meaningful. The start of something new. Harry was ready for it.