Nick's pov:

  Stupid, stupid, stupid...How could I have let myself lose my cool like that. I feel awful for what I did yesterday hurting her like that. I promised myself to never ever hurt a girl physically and that is exactly what I had done to Carol yesterday and now I feel like an asshole. The fear that she had displayed across her face becomes of me has been haunting me since I first saw it.

I don't know what happened one moment I was content with having her in my presence and then she had to go to the restroom so told her where it was, on the left down the hall and what did she go and do take the door on the right when I had clearly told her what side the bathroom was on.
It was my fault for leaving Kimberly's door unlock when I usually lock it because Bella tends to get curios as to what is on the other side but I guess after I last went in there I forgot to lock it up due to all the emotions I had going on. Ugh I am so stupid, Carol must think I am some abusive maniac that likes to hurt Bella for fun.

Last night after I tried running after Carol to explain myself only to have her leave me at my doorstep I spent the remainder of the day thinking of ways to apologize and explain my sudden crazy temper change. Gosh why did I leave Kimberly's room unlock! I am just glad it was Carol and not Bella that walked in. God knows what I would do if Bella all of the sudden started asking me why there was another girl room in the house.

"Nicky I am hungry." Bella ask's walking into my room dragging her big teddy bear behind her. I rub my hands down my face and sigh in frustration. Should I go over to her house and apologize or is that a bad idea? Does she even want to see me? Oh god if I ruined things with Carol Bella is going to be sad that she won't ever be see Carol again. Especially without a goodbye. I am such an asshole!

"Alright lets go make breakfast." I say getting up from my position on the edge of the bed. I grab Bella's small hand in my big one and together we head downstairs.

"Nicky can we send our letters to Santa after breakfast?" Bella pleads after yawning.

"Sure why not." I agree, I do have a car and the postal office is only a ten minute drive from us. And while I'm out I can quickly stop by Carol's house and apologize for yesterday lets just hope she doesn't call the police upon seeing me, that would be bad.

-

"Where are we going?" Bella asks from the back seat as she stares out the window watching all the snow covered trees pass by in a blur.

"I have to go visit someone really quickly before we go to turn in the letters is that alright with you?" Bella nods her head letting me know she was fine with whatever I needed to do just as long as it doesn't interfere with 'Santa' getting her letter. I decided I would first apologize to Carol that way I could get rid of this guilt that has been eating me since yesterday and hopefully if she does forgive me it would be nice to have her with us to send the letters to Santa especially since one of the letters belong to her.

Pulling up to the familiar nice big two story white house with a picket fence I can't help but feel nervous to confront Carol, please don't hate me I find myself pleading after preparing my speech.

"Hey! isn't this Carols house?" Bella asks looking up at the beautiful two story house in awe, Carol sure lives in a nice house.

"Yes princess it is. I need to go speak to Carol for a second do you think you can wait for me in the car for two minutes and then hopefully Carol can come back with me how does that sound." I find myself asking my baby sister who nods in acknowledgment loving the idea of spending more time with her favorite person asides me of course.

"Carol I'm sorry for the way I reacted yesterday- ugh no that doesn't sound right, Carol I didn't mean to lose my temper and hurt you I'm sorry." I find myself practicing on my walk up her drive way. I take in a deep breath now facing the white wooden door with my hand just above the surface ready to knock. You got this Nick just apologize and say how much you regret ever laying a hand on her and how you will never do it again.

I finally grow some balls and knock on the door, a few seconds later a small old Chinese woman appears in the front door. Is this the same house I picked Carol up from yesterday? Ya it is I even checked the message she sent me with her address before I re-typed it into the GPS.

"Yes?" The petite old women ask confused as to why an eighteen year old boy is at her door in the morning. I give a awkward cough and ask for Carol.

"Umm ya hi I was wondering if Carol was here." I ask rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. The older women makes a confused face and then speaks with a hint of her Chinese accent.

"there is no Carol her, you have the wrong house," She says making me feel even more awkward and embarrassed then before. This makes no sense this was the exact same house Carol had texted me the address too, why would she lie about her address it just doesn't make sense what is she trying to hide?

"Are you sure?" I ask still not believing the Chines woman who now looked annoyed with me.

"Yes there is no Carol here only me and my husband now please excuse me but I need you to leave." She says shutting the door in my face. And I thought I was rude but this women is just plane out evil.

Walking back to my car dazed and confused after what just went down. I wonder why Carol tricked me into believing this was her house, if she doesn't live here like the rude lady says she doesn't then where the hell is her house?!

"And Carol?" A hopeful Bella asks the second I buckle my seatbelt. I sigh looking ahead of me and then turn to face my sister.

"She wasn't home, sorry princess. Lets go send these to Santa so he doesn't forget about you this year." I add the moment she frowns with the realization that Carol would not be hanging with us today after all.

Parking the car in the parking lot of the postal office I take my time to collect the letters. Carol's being the last one. I bite my bottom lip contemplating whether I should see what she wrote on her list, I know I would be going through her personal space if I do read her letter but after the realization that she lied to me and how she turns a pale white color when I ask her if she is bullied and not to mention how yesterday she looked as if she had experienced anger to it's extreme all to many times before tells me something is definitely not right. With those thoughts in mind I grab Carols letter and open it and reading her wish list.

Dear Santa,

Even though I know you aren't real I will still pretend I am actually writing to you anyways this year for Christmas I want nothing more but to be free from it all. I want to live my life out of fear and happy with people that love me. I want to once again be happy and I want Bella and Nick to find there own happiness as well if you can't give me my wish then can you at least make Nick and Bella's life easier and let them struggle no more, I see the way Nick carry's himself as if he was tired and not to mention the bags he has under his eyes. He acts as if he is alone and hurt beyond repair, I know this because I am walking in the same shoes right now and can relate.

"Wow this is..." I say under my breath after reading Carol's wish list. Where was the 'I want makeup, or I want clothes, or how about a I want to find love?' She only asked for happiness which no one ever bothers asking for now a days. Not only that but she asked for others to find happiness more specifically me and Bella. Why is she so different, so good.. so pure and innocent. So humble, who really is Carol Lyn?
_______________________________________________
A/N
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are loving the book so far thank you all for or reading. 💖
xxx
Don't forget to:
Vote
And
Comment