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you told me the moment you saw me. you tried to break it to me slowly, but how could i even begin to understand what you'd just told me.

my hand was in my jacket pocket holding the box with the ring inside and you told me you had cancer.

i laughed at you. i thought you were making an april fools' joke. after all, you did like pulling all kinds of pranks on me. besides, you'd been healthy as a baby all the time. you couldn't possible have cancer.

i laughed you off and was about to drop to one knee when i saw the first tear escape.

and i knew.

i knew you were speaking the truth.

my heart stopped beating.

i couldn't move.

i couldn't breathe.

you were right there in front of me but it felt as if you were miles apart.

none of it made any sense.

we'd just found each other a year before and here you were, telling me that you only had 3 months to live.

this wasn't supposed to happen to us. none of it was supposed to happen.

that night, i held you in my arms and we talked through our tears. we slept with tear streaks framing our cheeks, curled up in each other's arms and i held on to you tightly, thinking you'd slip from right between my fingers if i even let go a little.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

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i only discovered this song a few days back and i'm smitten with it. never thought i'd like a harry styles song but welp