I showed Melody the guest room, where she would be staying. I didn't show her Bad's old room on purpose. I'm currently not very fond of the idea of someone claiming Bad's space... even if he himself isn't really claiming that space anymore. It kinda just leaves the memory of when he lived here... and I don't exactly want to move on from that just yet.

Anyway, it's been a few days since Melody surprised me with a visit. It's been quite nice finally having someone to hang our with around the house again, especially since that someone is a family member that I'm very close to but haven't been able to see in years. As a thank you for letting her stay rent-free, she helps with chores around the house, like cleaning and cooking to show her appreciation. I always tell her that she doesn't have to do these things because she's the guest, which works sometimes, but other times she insists, especially when it involves something she likes to do, like cooking. I can never get her to stop cooking. Though I'm not too bothered at that since she's good at it.

Currently, I'm lying down in bed, trying to go to sleep, but for some reason, my body refuses to do so. I sigh and turn over to check the time on my phone. I squint at the bright light and immediately shut it off once I check the time, a bit past one in the morning. God, I've been lying in bed for like over three hours. Thanks to Melody, I've been going to bed a bit earlier than before, and today I woke up late, so it's no wonder that I'm not sleepy. I bet Melody is asleep right now.

I'm getting kind of thirsty, so I get up from bed and start heading to the kitchen. As I leave my room, I hear a notification from my phone. I'll check it when I get back. Once I get a cup filled with water, I drink it and leave the empty cup in the sink. I don't have the energy to clean it right now. I go back to my room, shut the door behind me, and grab my phone. I look at me notifications to see that Bad texted me. What the- what is he doing up so late? But then again, there are days where he has a really bad sleep schedule. Earlier today, I texted Bad a message asking once more if he wanted to hang out sometime. I hope I get the answer I want.I opened up the messages between Bad and I and read over the message he left me. It says, "Sorry, Skeppy. I am going to be very busy this week. I have plans with Quackity and past arranged agreements with other people. Hope you understand."

My heart seems to come crashing down all over again. I bet that with 'arrangements' he means streams with other people. Will they really take up soooo much of his time where he can't even spare some time for me? I can understand Quackity, but are those other people that much more important than me? My grip on my phone gets tighter as I get filled with anger. Sh*t- I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this! I suddenly throw my phone across the room to a wall where it hits the wall and then falls on the floor.

Why did things have to change!? Everything was fine as it was before! It didn't even matter much to me if I had just stayed as Bad's best friend forever as long as he was with me! Was I not enough for him!? Why did he have to go and date Quackity!? I know he had a thing with messing with me and Bad in our relationship as well as the relationships of others for the sake of joking around. Call him a homewrecker if you will. But this!? This is just another level. Did Bad seriously have to date Quackity of all people!? I wish I could have what they had. God, I'm so jel-.

I abruptly stop my train of thoughts and get stiff. Wait... did I just-? I glance at the other side of the room where my phone lays on the floor. I let out a small gasp and cover my mouth with my hands. Sh*t- I did just let my emotions get the better of me! What the hell am I doing!? Why did I have such horrible thoughts just now?! What the f*ck is wrong with me!? Sh*t- sh*t- SH*T! I'm acting so selfish right now... Why am I being so- jealous!? I have no right to be! Bad and I were never a thing in the first place!

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and I let out a chocked sob from my frustration. My legs tremble and soon give out on me, making me fall onto the floor. More tears start to fall out of my eyes. God- I hate this situation so much... it's all so frustrating. But I shouldn't hate this... I should be happy for Bad- because he is happy! I've seen his streams. He looks so happy... and I should be happy for him, supporting him! Whether he is or isn't being happy with me... I really am a horrible person. I've been so selfish this whole time, only thinking about myself.

I let out more chocked sobs as I sit up with my back against the side of my bed. I curl up into a ball with my knees against my chest and my arms around my knees. I bury my face into my knees and arms and let out chocked sobs, trying to cry as silently as possible but failing. Through my own miserable crying, I didn't even notice that the door to my bedroom was slowly opening. I then freeze at a gentle yet concerned voice say, "Zak?"