An inch - that was all that separated Namjoon's slender knuckle, cased in black gloves, from her front door. Why he couldn't bring himself to close that distance was no mystery to him. He was being a coward, and that was all there was to it.

His fingers retracted even further away from the wooden door and his arm fell wearily to his side. It had been a long day. He was tired and considering all she'd been through, he knew she must have been as well.

"She doesn't need me," he whispered beneath his breath, huffing out some cold vapour into the even colder atmosphere. His voice was shaky from both the cold and the tears that burned his eyes. Winter did bring gloom; the events of the past few days made Namjoon see that clearly even through his misty eyes.

"She has Taehyung." He stumbled backwards, away from the front door and paced down the footpath. His long legs moved on their own accord with an unknown destination. With each delicate step, his footprint etched into the snow, until a caution sign just a few steps away from her house impeded his subconscious movement.

The sudden stop pulled Namjoon out of his trance. He became aware of the red and yellow caution signs barricading the street, the wailing sirens, the red lights flooding the dark night and the three cars up ahead that had caught ablaze. It was strange how he didn't notice any of this earlier. Was he really that much lost in thought? Was he really that wounded?

"Another accident. Great." Namjoon sighed in frustration as he caught sight of the paramedics trooping out of the ambulance to attend to the wounded.

He looked to his right. A dark, narrow alley seemed to be his only route at that point. Besides being dangerous, Namjoon was reluctant to pass that perilous-looking pathway for a very solid reason; he'd be tempted to peak into her kitchen, his ex, Taeyang's kitchen, where the two had shared so many memories, where she was possibly lingering in as she thought of what to make for her dinner.

But Namjoon didn't really have a choice. The fiery, hazardous route was completely restricted by law from taking. So, he was forced to take the dark, perilous alley that had the potential to cause him intense heartache. He took in a deep breath, bracing himself. All he needed to do was keep his eyes looking straight ahead. No turning, no peaking, just straight ahead.

He placed one foot in front of the other, feeling the goose bumps race up his skin. Different sorts of fears flooded his mind. What if she spotted him? Taeyang would know for sure he wasn't over her yet. His boots sank deep into the snow with every step as he mindlessly strode.

No turning, no peaking, just straight ahead. He chanted it in his heart like a mantra. But he couldn't even do that one thing. Just as he was almost halfway through to the other end, he stopped his tracks and turned back. After all, the lights from her home shone into the streets and they were calling out to him. Namjoon didn't know how to simply ignore it.

He felt like a creep - standing outside her small kitchen window and scanning everything, from the stove to the fridge to the counter. Everything was just as he remembered; a large mess. His thoughts wound back to the time in their lives when Taeyang was his world, and he was hers. To think that that was only three days ago.

Namjoon's eyes didn't stop peering around, and suddenly, they fell on what seemed like messy brown locks of hair on the floor.

Taeyang?

The twenty-six-year-old stood on his tiptoes to get a better view of the floor. He saw her there, laying on the floor, eyes shut and motionless. Her dark hair formed waves on the white tiles in every possible direction. Her milk skinned face radiated serenity, but nothing seemed right. Taeyang wasn't a drinker so she couldn't have possibly gotten tipsy and collapsed on the floor; Namjoon knew this.

"Taeyang?" Namjoon voiced out in alarm. There was no response. "Taeyang!" Still, silence.

Again, Namjoon was left with no other choice. He leapt through the open window, squeezing himself passed the frame, and landed on the counter, before sliding down to the floor.

Namjoon needed a moment to process the scene. Taeyang laid lifelessly on the cold floor right beside the counter, right before his eyes, clothed in nothing but a black tank top and denim shorts. Her arms spread out carelessly, one of which had a dark red liquid pouring out profusely. And that was when everything clicked. Taeyang's wrist was slit.

Rushing to her side, Namjoon crouched down beside her, allowing his shoes to get soaked in her blood. The amount of blood she'd lost was simply alarming. He looked around, nibbling on his bottom lip, trying to figure out what to do.

The first-aid kit was in her room upstairs, he remembered that vividly. Namjoon bolted up the stairs without thinking twice. He flung her dresser open where she kept it, and faster than lightening, he returned to her.

It was only until after he came back into the kitchen that he realised the need to check if she was breathing. Taeyang can't die, his frantic mind thought as he placed his index finger beneath her nostrils. She's still breathing. That gave him slight peace of mind.

Quickly, Namjoon got out a gauze from the first-aid kit and pressed it against her slit wrist to reduce the bleeding. Then, he wrapped her hand with a bandage. First-aid drills from his high school days were still very much imprinted in his memory.

Just as he was about to lift her up and take her to the hospital, his brain reminded him of the clothes she was wearing. He couldn't take her out in the cold, and in the presence of lewd eyes in that.

Namjoon brusquely slid his black woollen coat off and placed it over Taeyang. Then, he positioned one arm beneath her legs and the other to support her upper body whilst he lifted her up. Again, he took to his heels but this time, towards the front door.

The icy wind fanned his cheeks once he was out the door. But, he ignored the stinging sensation, since the girl in his arms was far more important. With nothing but hope in his heart that Taeyang would be alright, Namjoon sped towards the ambulance that parked up ahead.

◈ ━━━━━━ ⸙ ━━━━━━ ◈

I initially wanted to publish the whole thing as one long chapter, but for some reason, I decided to split into three parts. So, yup that's it and I really hope y'all like it!

Thank you so much for reaching!! ♥️♥️