Sarawat glanced at Tine for the nth time that day, turning the pages of his novel absentmindedly. Each look was filled with unspoken longing, his heart aching with unvoiced words. He found solace in the brief moments his peripheral vision could capture the image of the boy he adored. Even now, it was aiding him as he watched Tine’s veiny hands move gracefully over his sketchpad. Tine’s fingers danced with precision, creating art with every stroke, while he bit his perfect lips and furrowed his brows in concentration.

He looked ethereal today in his beige coat and matching trousers, a vision of effortless elegance. Did anyone ever tell him how stunning he looked in beige? Sarawat wanted to scream it out, if only his shy and socially anxious nature wasn’t holding him back. Every fiber of his being was drawn to Tine, but the words he yearned to say were trapped in his throat.

It was about a month ago that Sarawat had resolved to confess everything, to lay bare his love for Tine. But every time he saw him, he felt nervous and tongue-tied, unable to bridge the gap between them. Maybe this hopeless crush would fade away one day, he had hoped every day as Tine acted clueless to his obvious flirtations. He decided to wait until this New Year's Eve before finally killing the feeling for good. He had promised himself he would give up and start anew.

Now, sitting here in the cozy corner of the café, Tine hadn’t glanced in his direction even once. He only waved occasionally at the giggling girls from the university, as he usually did. Sarawat wondered how Tine always managed to maintain a cheerful disposition, even in the early hours of the morning. It was one of the many things he admired about him.

"Your order, sir?" The waiter's voice broke through Sarawat's reverie, bringing him back to the present. The waiter approached with a pink notepad, prompting Tine to lift his head from his work.

"Change heals a broken heart," Sarawat recalled the words he had read somewhere on Instagram last night. Maybe today was the day for a small change.

"A hot chocolate," Sarawat answered quickly, surprising himself with the sudden decision.

Tine gave him a raised eyebrow before turning to the waiter, "I'll have the same."

As soon as the waiter left, Tine looked directly at Sarawat, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. "Weren't you an Americano person?"

Sarawat's heart pounded at Tine’s unexpected attention. It was rare for Tine to notice him, and the simple question made his pulse race. He looked out the window, trying to steady his erratic heartbeat. Outside, people hurried under umbrellas laden with snowflakes, the world moving on despite the turmoil in his chest.

After a moment, he shrugged and said, "New year, new me."

Tine gave him a heated glance before returning to his sketch, the brief moment of connection slipping away. Sarawat felt embarrassed sitting there, despite his desire to see Tine as much as possible. He loved Tine just like he loved the sun. Tine himself was like the warm sun in winter, a beacon of light in his otherwise mundane days.

He still remembered the day Tine had asked him to fake flirt with him to scare away Green, who was pursuing Tine. That moment had given Sarawat a glimmer of hope, a chance to be close to Tine, even if it was under false pretenses. But now, that hope seemed more distant than ever.

He felt like Icarus, afraid to touch that sun for fear of dying. For Sarawat, it wasn't literal death but the anguish of unrequited love. He pulled out his glasses, which he never really wore in front of anyone after getting bullied in high school for it. But hey, change heals broken hearts, right?

"Seriously?!" Tine’s voice broke through his thoughts, filled with frustration.

"W–what?" Sarawat stammered, stunned.

"Did you have to wear those, too?" Tine pointed a finger toward his glasses, which sat innocently on the bridge of his nose.

"I–I have a p–problem... Eyesight. Weak..." Sarawat fumbled, nerves getting the best of him. Why was Tine mad?

"So you're being a brand new you after all," Tine said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He gave Sarawat a piercing cold look before standing up. He threw his sketchpad onto his seat, grabbed his bag, and stormed out of the café, leaving Sarawat's heart shattered.

He felt cold all of a sudden. His winter was now without its sun, the warmth he craved disappearing with Tine's departure.

The café felt emptier without Tine’s presence. The sound of the doorbell jingling as he left seemed to echo in Sarawat’s ears. He watched as Tine disappeared into the snow, his figure becoming a blurred silhouette against the white backdrop. The hot chocolate arrived, but it did nothing to warm the chill that had settled in his heart.

Sarawat stared at the untouched drink, his thoughts a whirlwind of regret and longing. How had it come to this? He had hoped for a new beginning, a chance to be closer to Tine. But now, it seemed like that hope was lost forever. He sighed, feeling the weight of his unspoken words and unfulfilled dreams.

Outside, the snow continued to fall, blanketing the world in a quiet stillness. Sarawat watched the snowflakes dance in the air, each one unique and fleeting. Just like his moments with Tine. He picked up his novel, but the words on the page failed to capture his attention. His mind was elsewhere, lost in the memories of the boy he loved.

He remembered the first time he saw Tine, the way his heart had skipped a beat. He had been captivated by Tine's laughter, his smile, his everything. And now, it seemed like all of that was slipping through his fingers. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to gather the strength to move forward.

But for now, he allowed himself a moment of sorrow, a moment to mourn the love that could never be. He wiped away a stray tear, steeling himself for the days to come. Change heals broken hearts, he reminded himself, even if it didn’t feel that way right now.

Sarawat left the café, not before grabbing the sketchpad Tine left in the cafe, stepping out into the cold. The world outside was a stark contrast to the warmth he had once felt with Tine. But as he walked away, he held onto a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, the new year would bring new beginnings, new chances. And perhaps, one day, his heart would find its way back to the warmth of the sun.

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