AN: Pseudo is a biological term, and since I got a 95 on my biology final- I'm totally using it. ;-* Oh! And this book has won Gold, First Place in The Wing Awards. Yay!! Special shout-out to AwsomeSauce007 for hosting it.

Jenni looks disappointed in my actions but I don't pay her any mind. She wasn't nearly as close to Eric like Micheal and-

"Where's Micheal?" I snap. Looking around, he's is no where in sight.

"He's probably talking to my traveling companion. I'd never come here empty handed." Eric scoffs while standing up on his own. The hole in his bicep nearly healed.

I take a moment to curse werewolf genetics.

Nothing and no one is that important for Micheal to just ignore the fight that just went down, unless the companion Eric brought....

"You found Micheal's mate." I state. For Eric to do this, he must want something equally important.

From me.

Jenni shrieks in joy and looks around for our brother.

"Side of the house." Eric says and she takes off in that direction. Her aura is bloated with happiness, shock, and curiosity.

We don't follow her. His brown eyes clash with mine.

"What do you want Eric?" I question.

"I already know where Jenni's mate is. You're not going to like it." Eric replies.

"What do you want?" I repeat cautiously. I will not get distracted just yet thinking about his words.

"You won't have to stay if you don't pass."

"Eric...." I caution. I haven't seen him in years but he knows that I'm near the end of my rope.

"Your name was pulled." He says finally breaking eye contact. He braces himself like I'm about to explode.

I feel nothing. What the hell is he talking about? And why should I care if a bunch of wolves pulled my name out of a hat?

I guess Eric knows what I'm thinking because he gives me a long suffering sigh.

"You're name was pulled from the list, for the Student Counsel." He revises.

Now I feel like a weight has just plummeted onto my shoulders along with panic.

No way in hell am I going to that Island of fools and playing politics. They're all idiots​ to send Eric. I haven't spoken his name in years, I even blocked him along with my depression from my parents deaths. He is the last person on this planet who can convince me to leave my family, the only family I have left.

'He brought Micheal's mate.' a faint voice reminds me in my head. 'And he knows where Jenni's is.....' I may have forgotten Eric's previous words but my subconscious hasn't.

"Where was his mate?" I ask boldly. Without Eric's interference, maybe we could've found their mates on our own.

"She's the Alphas only daughter." He shakes his head slowly, knowing that there would've been no way for us to find her on our own.

Eric is the next confirmed Alpha to represent werewolves on The Counsel.
There's only one man alive that Eric still has to call his Alpha, and that's the male representative of all werewolves, who's currently seated in The Counsel. Fuck.

Sure, he travels around to the separate packs- but that's only to the bigger ones. Micheal's pack isn't small but it's certainly not the biggest and yeah, all Alphas meet every once in a while but what's the guarantee his daughter would've attended.

She may have been a single she wolf, but what Dad would want his daughter around a bunch of single Alphas?

Who says she'd even want to go anyway, regardless?

And even if I did go to the Isle of Lilith with no fuss, she and I could've easily mistaken the familial bond we share.

We could've just assumed it was because we made great friends or that somewhere down the line we share a family member. She and I are both have Alpha blood so it's not that hard to assume.

'The point is,' I say to myself coming to a conclusion, 'Eric has just taken care of my family in a way that I wasn't able to and we both know it.'

I can either plan or bitch.

Plan one, the most unlikely, is that I can kick Eric's ass out of my house to get maybe a couple of months worth of peace. Before the Luna from the Counsel shows and hugs me to death.

Don't get me wrong, she's a great at her position. I hear that she's poised, motherly, and really cares about us all. She is everything expected from a Luna. But my being an Alpha female, she doesn't represent me.

I am a poised- weapon.
I instruct, but never have I been confused as nurturing, and I don't give a damn about all wolves.
Some of them I want dead.

On to, plan two.

Tell Eric I have no wolf and get over the humiliation of admitting it. I won't be able to take the Student Counsels entry tests for the female wereWOLF representative without one.

One look at Eric's face though, has me vetoing this course of action. No way will I tell him my most hurtful truth. He'll know that he wasted his time coming here when I don't pass.

My final option is to just go with Eric.

Which is laughable.

"Where is Jenni's mate?" I ask already suspecting the answer.

"I'll go with you." Eric offers.

"Like hell. We'll have enough problems with Dominic. Is he-?" I choke on the end. I can't get the question out.

'Is the moon goddess really heartless enough to make Dominic, Jenni's mate?' I ask mentally to myself.

"Ask me." Eric practically pleads.

My eyesight sharpens and I realize that my body is curved in on itself with my shoulders slumped. I was so distracted that my posture reflects my inner agony with the possibility of the Moon being so cruel.

I straighten up and lift my head with my previous confidence. I manage to create a wall in between Eric and I. It's thin but enough to numb our connection slightly​.

Eric eyes glaze over and I feel him probe our connection before he focuses on me again. He looks disappointed.

"Bex. Talk to me."

"We were planning on going to there anyway." My pride says just to make it clear that we would've found Jenni's mate without him.

"After that you're coming with me." Eric states. Suddenly his wolf is looking at me through his eyes, expecting a challenge. His emotions are rawer than what I'm used to.

It hurts.

I'm connected to Eric and his wolf. I've never felt the aura of someone's wolf before. What the hell?

"What's wrong with your wolf Eric?" I ask. I can't just build a wall in between myself and the wolf. I feel protective of him.

Eric breaks eye contact and walks towards the side of the house.

"Nothing." He says over the shoulder not looking back.

I watch as Eric disappears around the corner torn, should I follow or just stay here? I look down at my hands and see that they're perfectly healed with a bit of blood on them.

Exhaustion hits and I practically fall into one of the deck chairs. It's been a long damn day.

I've never been so tired. But then again, so much has happened. My carefully controlled existence is shot to hell and it's bothering me.

Every muscle in my body slumps and I have no choice but to close my eyes as my body shuts down.

~

My soul hurts.

I dream of a younger me looking around the dark for her Alpha. I tell her that he's dead but she ignores me. We're both just standing there like complete opposites.

"You should've seen it! The fight between Beta John and I was so close! I'm getting stronger. Are you proud of me?" Young me asks with an aura brimming with pride. She's not looking at me, it's almost like she's talking to someone else.

We're the only ones here though.

Everything on the younger me seems bright. My eyes shine, my hair shade seems lighter, I'm wearing happier colors, and my smile-.

I never thought my smile was anything special, until now. My smile holds so much feeling. I ache to smile like that again. My younger selves feelings are like a healing balm to my fractured soul.

I reach out to my younger self but then I hear him.

"Just wait, soon you'll beat me without effort!"

I turn sharply and my dad emerges from nowhere.

Words clog my throat but none come out. My knees hit the ground and I can't move as Dad approaches a younger me.

Young me runs into dads arms for a fierce hug.

"Don't say that!"

"You act as if you don't relish the challenge." Dad says with confidence.

Young me laughs in his arms but doesn't deny it.

The laugh recochetes in the space and I remember that this never actually happened. My father was challenged before I even got back to tell him.

And then I watched Dominic snap his neck.

I open my mouth so anguish can spill out as a scream.

Young me is startled and jumps out of dads embrace.

Dad just looks sad as he watches me, the real me, the me that has no living father, the me that longs to be held by him again.

I hold up my arms begging for a hug but I can only scream. Somehow my scream transforms into a howl that pains my human throat.

I don't stop it. The pain feels good, the pain feels right.

"What's wrong with me? Why am I so, so destroyed?" The young me asks.

"Life and death happen Bex. You have to accept that." Dad says to me ignoring my younger self.

He then walks away from us. I scream louder, feeling my heart shredding itself.

Just one hug. Please. I just want to touch you.

"Daddy! Come back! PLEASE!" I use my loudest voice, my deepest command, my rawest truth is saturated within the words.

I need my dad.

He never turns around, never stops, never falters as he walks away from us and disappears.

My arms drop and I fall forward. My hands clutch the ground and sobs shake through my body.

Droplets of red fall to the ground but I couldn't care less.
I'm crying blood.

"Farewell Alpha. We will see each other again." The young me whispers looking saddened but not distraught.

A wolf runs in and takes in the situation. I feel his emotions and know that this is Eric's wolf. I never did get around to separating my emotions from him.

The wolf whines slowly and approaches my younger self. My sobs haven't stopped but somehow the tears don't block my vision, so I can see the two somehow communicating.

The young me strokes the wolf but doesn't say a word. A conclusion seems to have been reached because Eric's wolf whines in my direction but then runs away, disappearing into the endless dark.

My younger self then picks me up, and holds me. I cling to myself, as weird as that sounds. I sob into my neck and just let my anguish out.

The younger me just stands there and strokes my hair.