"Skipping meals? That doesn't sound like my Joonie," I say as I enter the bedroom. I look over the room and find the silhouette of his body curled on the center bed. He clutches the blankets to his chest and his head facing the back wall.

My lips pressed together, thinking over my next words carefully. I add, "You should eat. It doesn't do well to skip them. It's not like we're running low."

Namjoon sighs heavily. He sits up from the bed but he doesn't turn around. "I'm sorry."

"It's not me you should apologize to."

He runs his hand through his hair before sharply dropping it. "I know, I just--," he sighs and repeats, "I know."

"Staying in the room won't make it go away," I point out.

Namjoon nods. "I know."

"Talk to Jimin," I urged and walked further into the room. I sit on the edge of the bed and look over his back. "Communication is--"

"--key, I know."

Yet you don't know.

"Then talk to him. Talk to everybody about what's going on."

Namjoon shakes his head firmly. Then his scent hits me like a wall to the face, it is almost disorientating. The powerful scent of sandalwood and musk, notes of the forest floating in the air. But I notice there is deep rot swirling in the smell; he's really upset. Something in my stomach stirs, yearning to reach for him and melt in his touch. To taste his lips on mine, and to feel the brush of his bare skin against mine all for the sake of taking his pain away, to let his worries burn in the rush of a heat.

I swallow hard against my throat and sternly remind myself not to get carried away. The effects of his presence are stronger than the others because he's the Alpha. It's something out of his control, and my immediate reactions are out of mine. But over the years, I've learned to tame these urges and only indulge myself in moments of security and peace. Right now, is not one of those times.

He's upset, and no amount of physical love can pull him out of it. There aren't enough kisses in the world to heal a wounded heart. Luckily, I am well-versed in other forms of love that serve me better in these situations. It's my purpose to love and accept love, in all of its complex forms. It's something I want to do for my packmates. This desire to help them goes beyond basic biology; my biology as a Luna helps my efforts be more effective.

Just as his scent affects me, mine can do a number on him and the others in the pack.

He notices my silence and says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

I look away from his shadowed figure, trying to move my nose away in order to refocus. "It's alright. You can't help it."

"I can tell you're worried," he adds quietly. "At this rate, you'll make me scent-drunk."

I take a step back and cast him an apologetic look. "That wasn't my purpose. I just wanted to check on you. You seem really sad these days. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Namjoon's eyes are downcast but filled with silent thought. "Everybody has been working so hard. I want to help them, but I don't feel like I'm helping at all. You know this, I'm just repeating myself but... still."

"Wanting to help isn't wrong," I comment, "but I feel like you're comparing yourself to something..."

"There's something in my mind," he answers. "It's like a version of myself that I want to be. Self-growth is supposed to be good, right?" He pauses and looks towards the curtains instead. "It's stressing me out. I keep thinking that I'm not enough and it becomes a vicious cycle."

"I wish I could love myself," he once told me.

"We love you, Namjoon," I say softly, wishing I could wrap my arms around him. But I know that if I do that, nothing will be solved and we'll spiral into a heat together. That's the last thing we want, especially right now. Unfortunately, we don't have time for a heat session. I have to hold on until we're in a better place, a safe time. "You are already more than enough and you don't need to change. We really love you, and we're proud to call you Alpha. You don't need to do anything."

"You say that, but then I feel like you're just saying it."

"How can I convince you to see yourself the way we see you?"

He finally turns around and faces me. He thinks about it with a look of defeat and replies, "I don't know. It's just how I feel... and I don't know if it'll ever go away."

I nod once and take another step towards the door. The rotting scent grows stronger as his emotions climax. "I want to help you, we all do. We just don't know how."

"Maybe I need a forced vacation."

Internally, I feel myself twisting at the thought of taking a day off. We're going to land ourselves in trouble if we take a break now. We're almost done with everything; we're so close to the end. Everything in me wants to keep pushing on and complete our tasks so we can rest comfortably later. I can't relax knowing there are things to do; I don't understand how they can.

However, with the way things are working and judging by everybody's mood, I think we might end up with a forced vacation sooner than I'd like.

Namjoon's nose wrinkles and I curse my body for giving myself away. He knows I'm not happy about it.

"Let's eat first," I suggest lightly, trying to distract him. "We can talk to everybody as a group and decide. There are still a few things to do but I guess some can be pushed later."

Namjoon nods in agreement. "Okay. That sounds good."

I begin walking to the door when I hear him get off the bed. His footsteps behind me quicken and suddenly, his arms wrap around my body and he's burying his face into the crook of my neck, kissing the sensitive skin without warning. I inhale sharply, momentarily surprised, and the wave of his scent nearly knocks me off my feet.

I breathe out my mouth as the intoxicating smell of the forest and sandalwood floods my system.

He kisses my neck a few times and inhales deeply, his chest expanding against my back. "Thank you," he whispers into my ear.

Shivers of pleasure travel down my spine and I feel my heart rate skip a beat. I press my lips together and hum a reply of 'your welcome', distantly concerned he'll trigger a heat cycle. I tilt my head sideways, giving him room to form a line of kisses down my vein. He takes the invitation without hesitation. His lips press against the fleeting beat of my pulse. He takes a small nip at my skin and I feel my stomach flip.

I close my eyes, my body leaning back against his, and fight to control my quickened breathing. "Eat, food... we need food," I mumble as small sparks of heat burst in my stomach. "Too early for this..."

Namjoon's lips linger on my skin before he moves away. The absence of him leaves my body cold and trembling but I'm happy he understands. He knows me well enough to know when my complaints are teasing and when they're sincere. "Okay. You're right, we should eat."

I take one greedy breath of his dizzying scent before dragging myself out of the bedroom.

"Okay hear me out, hear me out!" Taehyung spreads his arms wide as he stands at the head of the table. "We have dumplings, but doesn't that mean there is one big dumple?"

"Do you really think it exists?" Jungkook asks excitedly, sitting on the edge of his seat as he waits eagerly for his breakfast.

Taehyung smiles wide at his enthusiasm, "There should be!" He looks at Jimin for confirmation, "Right?"

Jimin, who is looking brighter than earlier, nods eagerly. "Right!"

"You kids and your wild ideas," Yoongi scoffs as he sets the wooden cutting board on the table. He looks over the sliced, fresh bread and starts handing out the pieces. "It's cute," he adds with a note of fondness.

"If we try hard enough, we could make one ourselves!" Jungkook immediately looks at Jin with those gorgeous big brown eyes of his. "Hyung, could we make it?"

Jin sits down at the table and scoots his chair forward. "We could, but we'd need to prepare for it."

"Maybe for a special occasion," I suggest gently as I take my piece of bread. "But I like your thinking, Tae."

Hoseok sits down beside Yoongi and takes a piece of bread for himself. "Jin's birthday is next, maybe we should make it to celebrate!"
Jimin reaches over and tugs on Taehyung's sleeve, pulling him closer. "Taehyungie, sit down."

Taehyung flops back into his seat and makes a face at Jimin. Jimin only smirks at the funny expression and sticks his tongue out at him.

"Where's Namjoon?" Hoseok asks as he looks around the kitchen.

"He said he was going to go outside for a moment--" Jungkook begins but cuts himself off when Namjoon appears in the doorway.

He is sheepish as every head in the room turns to him. He holds up a squirrel by its hind legs, its small body dangling in the air. "I went for a walk and thought I should bring something back."

Jin stands from his seat and opens his hand to Namjoon, gesturing for him to give him the squirrel. "Thanks, Joon, but you know we're hunting today, right?" He takes the squirrel and inspects it closely, turning the brown body over in his hands.

"That's such a clean kill," Jungkook awes, half-standing from the table to see the squirrel better.

Namjoon nods at Jin and goes to the sink to wash his hands. "I know, I just thought a little snack could help."

"It'll add some flavoring for our soup," Jin comments but mostly to himself. He goes to the other side of the kitchen and sets the squirrel in a bowl. "Good job, Joon, he's got some meat on him."

"Sit down, Joon-ah," Yoongi instructs, "we're eating right now."

Namjoon sits on command and looks over our little breakfast of bread and butter. "Is this going to be enough?" he asks hesitantly.

I smile reassuringly at him from across the table. "It will be. We're having a larger lunch today, and everybody said the bread was okay for now. Right, guys?"

"Yep," Jungkook agrees and then secretly smiles at the Alpha. "And we have another loaf," he adds in a whisper.

Namjoon nods in relief. "Alright."

Everybody settles into their seats and starts eating their food. The kitchen falls quiet aside from the sounds of the quiet crunch of the bread crust and deep swallows. I focus on eating my slice slowly to force my stomach to accept the fact that it is full. The slower you eat, the more full you will feel regardless of the amount. It's a small trick we learned a while back when food was more scarce and our system wasn't as stable.

When I finish, I wait until the boys are nearing the end of their meal before saying, "Should we start dividing up the chores?"

Jimin lets out a heavy sigh and it stirs the attention of everybody in the room.

When he realizes everybody is staring at him, his body does a small jump and he smiles awkwardly, "Oh. Sorry, I'm just tired."

Jungkook, who sits beside him, starts to crinkle his nose and turn his head away from Jimin. It takes a moment for Jimin's scent to reach me and I immediately catch a whiff of the frustration within him. The rot in his usually blissful orange and floral scent is stronger now.

I wonder what pack life would be like without scents giving away our emotions and true thoughts.

I think back to when scents didn't matter to me before I became a werewolf. I was a late bloomer and one that didn't show prior signs. It's rare, but it isn't impossible. I remember going through life, following natural scents of objects around me instead of people. It was a blissfully ignorant life; to be completely unaware of others' feelings. I never felt the need to adjust and focus on their opinions until I transformed.

It was a rough adjustment, to say the least.

But not worse than accepting my Luna status. That was no easy feat, and I curse my younger self for making it so difficult on myself.

"Jiminie, is something bothering you?" Hoseok asks out of concern. He watches the young man with worrisome eyes and is leaning forward in his chair.

Jimin hesitates to reply and focuses on his bread. He tears off the crust and nibbles on the edge. Then he finally shakes his head, deciding on keeping his thoughts to himself.

My gaze flicks from Jimin but I end up making direct eye contact with Namjoon. He holds his stare for a moment before looking around the table. He's probably thinking about that forced vacation again.

I understand Jimin is tired and mental health should come before all things. However, I am worried this might become a habit in our most crucial moments. If this happened during the summertime when food was already plentiful and we could patrol for longer periods of time due to better weather, I would absolutely agree with Jimin's sentiments. Unfortunately, we have too much to do before the freeze sets in.

Winter is more intense than it used to be, and it feels as if it is getting worse. Blizzards last longer and temperatures drop lower and lower. Last year, we hit a low of negative 54 degrees Fahrenheit and that didn't account for the windchill. According to recent forecasts and predictions, the polar vortex will be even stronger this year. This type of cold can kill if you're not prepared. Shifting from a wolf to a human can be dangerous, meaning patrols will be scarcer and leave our borders more vulnerable.

We have to secure our fences now. We have to harvest as much food as possible because trading will become non-existent. The humans need food for themselves, and if we run out of food, there is nothing we can use to bargain.

For the sake of our future selves, we have to work even harder to avoid any issues. We have to hold on until we're safe.

"Hyung, what are we doing today?" Jungkook asks quietly, looking to Namjoon for answers.

Namjoon thinks on it and replies, "We might take it easy today."

I mask my grimace.

"We still need to harvest," Hoseok speaks up. "The freeze is coming soon, I think that should be our top priority."

"Let's work really hard in the morning, and then we can all relax this afternoon," Taehyung suggests and nudges Jimin's arm. He casts him a reassuring look, his long black hair nearly coming over his big eyes.

Jimin's tired gaze softens and he nods along in agreement. "Okay. That would be nice."

I breathe a quiet sigh of relief and feel the building anxiety in my chest loosen its grip, then fade away.

Namjoon divides the chores for us without another interruption. Jimin and Taehyung are assigned to garden work while Jungkook is given apple tree duty. Me, Hobi, and Jin will patrol the borders and check on our landmarks for extra caution. Yoongi will be returning to the radio station--which is actually an abandoned train car--and broadcast a new set of messages for the nearby packs, coding hidden messages in the beats and "announcements" that he makes. Namjoon will be joining him for a while, then he will help patrol the borders if he has time after.

Lunch duty is given to Seokjin and Taehyung, while dinner is still open for whoever has energy for it. I will do laundry when the river water warms to a point that doesn't freeze my hands off, and hunt if nobody else has. Sometimes hunting can be a relaxing experience, other days it can be infuriating. I'm hoping it will be one of those nice days. I could really use a moment to take my mind off of things, but I will still be in productivity mode to avoid stressing myself out over doing nothing.

By the time Namjoon is done assigning the chores, everybody has finished their breakfast. I stand from the table first and begin taking plates but when I reach for Taehyung's, he grabs my wrist. I pause and give him an odd look only to be met by a pair of mischievous eyes. He laughs at my surprise and tilts his head to one side, "Already?" he whines playfully.

I smirk at him and he drops my wrist. "Alright, you're getting seconds?"

He nods eagerly.

"Anybody else?" I ask and all seven boys look up with hopeful eyes. I laugh quietly at the comical sight and walk back into the kitchen to grab the extra loaf. "Okay, okay." I serve them the loaf and take an end piece for myself. I finish it quickly and decide to leave them for the rest of their breakfast.

It's time to get started, I think to myself as I walk through the living room. I enter the bedroom and quietly close the door behind me, not like it matters. All seven of the boys have seen me without clothes on. Shifting into a wolf tends to rip clothes to shreds due to the size change. Whenever we de-transform, we find ourselves scrambling to the nearest clothing hideaway, or waiting until we return home.

I changed into a pair of black leggings and an oversized red flannel shirt. I button up the front and roll the sleeves up to my elbows. I don't plan on shifting during my patrol but I can part with the leggings and the flannel is easy to slip out of if needed.

The door opens and Yoongi peers into the room, still half-sleep despite the tumblr of coffee in his hand. "Do you want the rifle today?" he asks.

I turned to him. "I'm not sure. They said it was quiet yesterday, do you think we need it?"

Yoongi's dark eyes waver with an unreadable emotion. "Maybe."

"Then we'll take it."

Yoongi nods but he lingers in the doorway. Then he steps into the bedroom and closes the door with his back. He is quiet for a beat, one finger tapping against the metal of his cup.

I raise an eyebrow at him as I tie my thick hair back. "What's up?"

Yoongi makes a soft sucking noise through the corner of his lips; he often makes this sound when he's thinking or when he's upset. He casts me an odd look, slightly squinting his eyes, "Are you sure you're doing okay?

"Of course," I answered, almost immediately. "Why do you ask?"

Yoongi's expression changes from doubtful to sympathetic. The soft furrow between his brow relaxes and he's staring at me with concern. The sudden gentleness does not go unnoticed and I wrap my arms around myself, hugging myself, and avoiding his knowing stare.

Yoongi is a man who knows everything. I don't know how he does, but sometimes it feels like he knows me better than I know myself. He is a good listener, and the words he chooses to voice never fail to hit their mark. He knows people and how to get straight to the point, all accompanied by his small nods and light touches of comfort. He, more than anybody, knows exactly what to say to reveal the hidden truth.

He knows my pressure points, my weaknesses, my strengths... he knows how to make me fall apart when I am so twisted up in my own thoughts, and he knows how to rearrange the pieces.

He's my everything, but he's also dangerous when I'm a woman on a mission.

"You sound stressed," he replies. Tap, tap, tap. He scrapes his fingernail against the metal of the cup in a slow circle before another tap, tap, tap. "Everybody is worried about you."

I shake my head, denying it. "I'm okay, really. I'm just thinking about winter. We should be prepared. We can't afford to start taking breaks..." my voice trails when I hear the stress Yoongi is talking about.

He must have sensed my self-awareness because he nods. "It is getting close, but we don't have much to worry about. The forecast says the freeze won't settle in for a while. We still have tarps over the gardens to protect them, even if they did freeze. Is it really winter that is worrying you or is it something else?"

I'm worried about Namjoon and him shouldering all the responsibility by self-inflicted. I'm worried he's pushing himself too much, but I am also deeply concerned about the wandering packs. We could be in danger, and we wouldn't even know it. We have been attacked before. The idea of a territory breach isn't a foreign topic and it wouldn't be the first time we would need to defend ourselves.

And the rest of the pack... everybody looks so sad these days and I have no idea how to help them. It's my duty as their friend and their Luna to take care of them and I feel like I'm failing.

"I'm just as worried as everybody else," I respond and find my shoes piled with the others. I find my wool socks inside the shoes and pull them on first. "And it might be the seasonal shift. The days are getting shorter."

"You underestimate how much we think of you," he sighs through his nose and meets my gaze, "the nights felt longer before the shift happened. I'm worried about you, Charlotte. And it's not just me. Everybody is. We want to help in any way that we can but you keep acting like everything is fine."

A long-forgotten memory resurfaces and for a moment, I am looking at a younger Yoongi illuminated only by the light of a bonfire. "Stop putting up barriers when you want to be seen. Ignoring your feelings will only hurt you more."

It was four years ago when there were only four members of our pack: Namjoon, myself, Yoongi, and Hoseok. It was long before we had this cabin to call home. We were wanderers in the forest, living off the land like nomads, and praying for a plentiful hunt for every meal. It was a stressful time for everybody. It was when the world was mid-fall and there was danger at every turn.

The disbursement of the packs caused rogues to scour the nearby area to pillage in their wolf forms, claiming power over the land and destroying small towns out of spite. As a new-found pack, we were on edge to say the least. We were young, alone, and without a solid plan for our future.

I was struggling to handle the stress, and stuffing my feelings back down my throat until it choked me. My instincts were crying out to the boys but I was still deciding on if I trusted Yoongi and Hoseok. They were Namjoon's friends from his brief Alpha training at a neighboring pack; they met and bonded over combat training. It was there when they decided to form their own pack. They witnessed the fall of the packs firsthand, and the land was attacked by a bloodthirsty pack who had a grudge against the resident Alpha.

"They came in the night. They went to the Main House, there were no survivors. There was blood dripping from the windows..." Namjoon told me when he returned from his leave. "I don't think it's safe for us anymore. I think we need to leave."

We left our pack and met Yoongi and Hoseok in the forest. I was still adjusting to their presence, and internally worrying over my Luna status. I didn't know if I could trust them. They were strangers in my eyes. I didn't want to become their Luna.

It was a complicated time, to say the least.

That night, after Namjoon and Hoseok left to check our perimeter, I found myself alone with Yoongi. He asked if I was alright, and I told him I was fine. He called my bullshit, and it was the breaking point.

For years, I fought against becoming a Luna and accepting my new reality. I only broke my rule for Namjoon on the rarest occasion, but that night, I dropped my barriers and fell into Yoongi's arms without hesitation. He was my first step towards becoming the woman I am now. He was the first stranger I decided to call my friend, and later, my own.

I bring myself out of my memory and find myself staring at the older Yoongi. The gentle man whose judgment I trust more than my own.

But I can't afford to fall apart right now. He must know this and that's why he is standing in front of the door.

"I may be stressed," I admit as I walk towards him and the door. I pause beside him and cast a look through the corner of my eye, "But we have work to finish. We can't waste any more time."

"We haven't wasted time," he retorts quietly, "we haven't had a break in weeks."

And I can push myself for a little while longer if it means we will be safe.

"It's just for a little while longer," I reply with a slight shake of my head. "We're so close to being done."

"My love, I think you're being too hard on yourself." He reaches out but I turn my head away from him. I stare down at the ground instead and find myself stuck, unable to move past Yoongi and leave the bedroom.

His hand dithers before lowering to his side. He casts me a doubtful look and tilts his head to meet my eyes, "You and Namjoon are alike, you know. You fight so hard for us yet you never allow yourselves a moment to breathe."

My tense shoulders slacken and my body droops. "Yoongi, please," I plead, "let's just get through this day."

Yoongi straightens his stance and moves closer to me. He traces his finger down the line of my jaw and studies me closely. "And what if I don't want to?" he mumbles.

Then it hits me.

The sudden wave of Yoongi's powerful and intoxicating scent washes over me as if somebody dumped a bucket of water over my head. His scent floods my system without warning or a moment to brace myself. I shouldn't have been so lax; I should have seen this coming. While Yoongi controls his emotions and keeps them on a tight leash, there comes a moment when he lets go and his scent is dizzying enough to make everybody in the room scent-drunk.

I gasp softly as the scent of vanilla and bourbon makes its way through my body, clouding my mind and thoughts. It's a deep and solid smell, thick in its essence and almost suffocating to breathe in. The smoky tones and enticing sweetness act as a seductive trap. His scent is so powerful I taste it on my tongue and on my throat.

I take a shaky breath, staring into nowhere, and struggle to regain my bearings.

Oh... oh this is nice...

My cheeks flush in response and I swallow hard. My body sways for a moment and I begin to feel a tingling sensation spread through my body. My eyelids flutter as phantom sleepiness nearly overtakes me.

"Careful there," Yoongi presses his hand against the small of my back, balancing me. He chuckles quietly and watches me in smug amusement. "Scent-drunk, already? We've only gotten started," he teases.

I force myself to snap out of it and smile sarcastically at him. "I'm not so easily persuaded. You're going to have to do better than that."

Yoongi raises his brow at him, "Is that a challenge?"

"Not officially, and not right now," I reply evenly, coming back to my senses. Yoongi's intoxicating scent creates a heavy cloud around us and I know when I step away, I will be able to escape the drug-like effects of him. But he is still blocking the door. "We have work to do--"

A low growl loosens from his throat and his scent turns hot. The sickening sweet notes turn into blazes akin to the aura of a flame. My body begins to sweat and heat from the strength of his presence, the power he is radiating with. I swear he can hear the pounding of my heart. He can hear the raggedness of my breath as he begins to affect my base instincts.

He's going to trigger a heat if he keeps this up. I don't have time to go through a heat right now! These crazy boys, they'll drive me insane if they keep doing this. I have to leave the house if I want to get my chores done.

They are making this so difficult. Everything in me pleads to stay in this room and drink in the scent of his vanilla bourbon. To let it simmer in my body and burn me from the inside out. I want to lose myself to him. To give myself away and let him mold my body against his.

I want him, I want him, I want him.

It's been too long. I haven't gone into a heat in weeks. I haven't allowed myself the time and kept my distance from the boys to avoid this. I worked so hard to keep myself productive and active, knowing a heat would put an end to it all. I have been pushing them away for so long...

The door opens and scares Yoongi into pulling his head back. I hadn't realized we were leaning in to kiss. I didn't register how close we were standing.

Jungkook almost steps inside but stops short. He coughs and blinks at us, surprised we were so close to the door. His wavy black hair has grown quickly these past couple of days. It sits in a low ponytail with strands coming in front of his face. "Oh, excuse me," he says, then he weaves around us.

I catch a whiff of fresh air beyond the open door. It takes all my effort to tear myself away from Yoongi and out the door. I take greedy gasps of the clear air and move away from his trap. "We have work to do," I repeat, mostly to scold myself for getting distracted. I looked over my shoulder and cast Yoongi one last look, "I think it's my turn to take the rifle."

Yoongi's held gaze only lasts for a moment. He sighs and lowers his head, remaining in his spot. He taps on the side of his cup once more and nods. "Alright."

My heart lurches with guilt but I don't trust myself around him at the moment. It's too easy to fall into him, too easy to get distracted. I must stay strong for the sake of the pack.

I must.

A/N: Never skip your meals, lovelies! Your health and heart come first! Also, if you ever find this story on AO3 with random notes about bread and making candles based on each member's scent, that's me. I'm posting this on AO3 as well! There are more chapters uploaded there too. I get so excited when I see the total word count rise XD If you can find me, go and support me there! : ) I love you all, and hoped you enjoyed this chapter!