Jungkook lays on the couch with his legs outstretched and his arms crossed behind his head. He stares up at the wooden ceiling with a blank expression yet his mind is at work. The gears in his mind turn constantly, thinking of tomorrow's meeting with the Nightwalkers and the possible threat of Alpha Grayson's pack.

He feels the pressure of danger but he's determined to protect his hyungs and Charlotte with all that he has. He won't let anybody harm his home so long as he draws breath.

His muscles continue to ache from his recent workout. He has been exercising in his spare time in hopes of building muscle and becoming more agile. He wasn't born as an Alpha, but he hopes he will be strong enough to take one down if he had to.

The pent-up restless energy also spurs him to train harder than ever before. He hates waiting for something to happen. The silence of the pack house is unbearable. The heavyweight of anxiety is driving him insane.

His nose scrunches as another sickly sweet wave of scents wafts from the closed bedroom door. The twisting scents of flourishing oranges, tart blackberries, and tender peaches strengthen in waves and continue to perfume the living room area. The slippery taste of the heat slicks his tongue and causes his throat to dry with thirst.

Memories of pinning Charlotte to the bed, her arms raised above her head and legs spread wide, fill his mind and turn into tantalizing fantasies. His fingers twitch as the memory of Jimin's soft skin and Taehyung's silky black hair resurfaces. His expression saddens as a pang of jealousy hits.

He wishes he could be in the bedroom too.

Jungkook would be open to simply watch if it was too overwhelming for four wolves to be on the bed. He's okay with watching. Or taking turns.

His heart clenches as the scents of his mates grow stronger than before.

Why do I feel so alone?

Wrestling with loneliness and rejection sums up the majority of Jungkook's life. It is a bitterly familiar emotion. He hates how it returns in the worst of moments. He hates having to deal with it, time after time, and being forced to face it again.

"Oh, Kookie, I didn't know you were out here."

Jungkook cranes his neck and sees Seokjin standing in the kitchen doorway. The handsome hyung's hair is slicked back, exposing his forehead, and the scent of roses and fresh bread flows from him.

"Hey hyung," Jungkook replies halfheartedly.

"Do you want to help us in the kitchen? Lunch is almost ready."

Jungkook heaves himself off the couch and winces when he stands up. The muscles in his legs ache in protest. He half-limps to the kitchen but stops short when Seokjin doesn't step away. Jungkook looks over his hyung in mild confusion.

Seokjin studies him closely and lays his hand on Jungkook's shoulder. "Are you doing alright?" he asks.

Jungkook hesitates to answer. His eyes avoid direct eye contact and look over Seokjin's broad shoulder instead to see into the kitchen. Namjoon is being supervised by Yoongi by the stove. They appear to be making soup.

"You've been so quiet today," Seokjin continues with a voice heavy with concern. His hand slides up Jungkook's neck and his fingers entangle in his long hair. "Is it tomorrow?"

Jungkook closes his eyes for a moment, leaning his head into Seokjin's palm for comfort. Seokjin plays with his hair for a moment longer, twisting the locks around his fingers and massaging his scalp.

Jungkook struggles to find a response. He wants to tell Seokjin that he isn't feeling well, but how is he supposed to explain why? It feels too chaotic, too jumbled in his mind to voice. He opens his eyes again and feels a swell of emotion rise from his chest.

His breaths strain as he feels his thoughts downward spiraling.

I'm so alone. I don't feel like I'm enough. I feel like I'm failing everybody, and I won't be able to protect them.

"Don't cry, pup, it's alright," Seokjin comforts and pulls Jungkook into a hug.

A small whimper escapes Jungkook's mouth as he presses against his beloved hyung. He closes his head and snuggles against Seokjin's chest. He holds him tightly, fearing he might fall apart if he let go too soon.

"What's wrong?" Yoongi asks worriedly.

Seokjin's body sways side-to-side as he holds Jungkook close. He rests his chin on Jungkook's shoulder. "There... it'll be alright... hyungie's got you."

Jungkook's eyes are watering with tears, on the verge of losing it. His bottom lip quivers as his emotions intensify. He closes his eyes and feels his body go limp in Seokjin's arms.

The slow simmer of a heat begins.

The touch of a hand on Jungkook's stirs him from his shut down. He opens his eyes and peeks over hyung's shoulder and finds Yoongi behind him. Yoongi slips his hand in Jungkook's and squeezes it reassuringly.

"Don't cry, Jungkookie... your hyungies are here."

"I feel like I'm failing ," Jungkook finally says, his voice aching with deep pain. "I don't want you guys to get hurt. I don't want you to be stressed, or afraid but I--, I can't--"

"Don't worry about us," Yoongi scolds gently. He walks around Seokjin and stands beside Jungkook. He reaches out and rubs Jungkook's back with his warm hand. "I appreciate the concern, you have a good heart."

Jungkook shakes his head stiffly. "You don't--, it's not just that." His throat tightens and he cuts himself off. He buries his head back into Seokjin's shoulder and cries quietly. Why is this so hard? Why am I so upset?

"You're so close to a heat..." Yoongi comments softly. "Jimin, Taehyung, and Charlotte are in a heat right now... is that triggering it?"

"Maybe," Jungkook mumbles.

Why does everybody else get to be in a heat except me? Why am I always left out?

"Where's Hoba?" Yoongi asks.

"Hunting. He'll be back soon."

"Namjoon, come here for a moment. I'll take over the soup, just come here."

The metal spoon is set down on the side of the pot. Footsteps draw nearer then Yoongi's hand withdraws from Jungkook's.

"Come here, Joon-ah," Seokjin encourages. "I think it's about time you two had a good talk."

Jungkook lifts his head from Seokjin's shoulder, breathless with tears. He looks over and finds Namjoon standing beside him. The scent of Namjoon fills his mind with images of untamed forests and forgotten paths. His t-shirt fits tightly over his chest and reveals the indents of his carved muscles.

Namjoon's gaze is soft, and Jungkook's heat intensifies.

Deep memories of Namjoon's topaz-colored eyes rise from within him like the bursting of flames. Jungkook remembers when the pack discovered him on their doorstep. He remembers it vividly, and the memory refuses to dim after all of these years.

He remembers the weight of Namjoon's warm hands on his blood-slick skin. The ache of the bruises smattering on Jungkook's body. The trembling of his knees as he struggled to stand from the frostbitten ground. The utter weakness he felt as the pack stared down at him in stunned horror. They didn't know him, but they knew what had happened.

He was transformed by a rogue against his will.

Bitten. Almost torn apart by the violent pulling of the wolf's teeth. Jungkook was dragged through the snow until his body was completely stiff and numb.

Jungkook was a corpse drawing its last breath.

He was found by his parents first. His parents vehemently hated werewolves. The werewolves had caused the end of the world, in their eyes. They swore it was their fault that the world fell into complete chaos. Jungkook knew their lectures by heart.

He wished they had never found him. Maybe the dull ache in his heart would be fainter, or nonexistent had it been the pack who found him instead.

His parents watched helplessly as Jungkook transformed from man to wolf. He isn't sure he was truly conscious during his transformations. His memory of that moment was gray and filled with echoes of his screams.

When Jungkook's body finally settled into a form, he didn't know if he was a wolf or a human, his senses crawled back to him.

"He can't live like this. I won't accept this."

"That damn mutt should have killed him. He shouldn't have to live like this, I won't let our son suffer any longer. It's better to be gone... than become a monster..."

Jungkook heard the loading of a rifle. Clear as a bell.

He was not safe here.

He had to escape.

A rush of adrenaline stabbed through the thick veil of exhaustion. Jungkook rose from the ground with hysteric strength and ran for the woods. He dove into the underbrush without thinking or any amount of self-preservation. He ran until his breath ran out. Until his muscles gave out from under him. He collapsed onto the slush-like snow but he couldn't feel the sting of the cold on his skin.

His body froze into place. He wasn't sure if minutes or hours had passed. His mind was detached from his volatile body. It was lost in the gray fog.

It was then that Jungkook wished for death. He longed for it more than anything. More than acceptance, more than love, more than the desire to feel warm again. Any life worth living was taken from him.

At that moment, Jungkook hated his cowardness. He should have let his parents kill him. He shouldn't have run away from them. He should have begged them for death.

How stupid of him.

This moment ended quickly. It was followed by dry-heaving as a result of transforming too quickly. Jungkook's body refused to allow itself to die. He dragged himself further. His hands turned an eerie shade of purple. There was blood dripping down his skin like water droplets. He didn't know where the blood was coming from.

A warm light caught his attention. It was shining through the trees like a beacon of hope. Its warm embrace called Jungkook forward. Unfamiliar scents caused his newfound senses to spike with anxiety, yet the promise of warmth silenced those instincts.

He didn't remember what happened after his decision to follow the light. He blacked out. And awoke to the faces of the pack in the doorway. Their bodies pressed together to block out the cold with their faces wrought with worry.

They were strangers, yet Jungkook felt safer with them than with his own parents.

Namjoon was the first to touch him.

Jungkook was too cold to flinch at the movement.

His human instincts told him to be afraid of the tall man. It was an instilled fear, placed by his parents and community members. Jungkook was told to fear werewolves, and he was given a reason to fear them that day.

His wolf instincts, on the other hand, told him to trust this man with his life. This man would keep him safe from all harm. He was somebody Jungkook didn't need to be afraid of.

It was a constant war between his two forms that kept Jungkook paralyzed.

Yet he allowed Namjoon to lay his hands on him and scoop him into his arms. Jungkook was enveloped by the warmth of the home. Smothered with it. The scents of the pack overwhelmed him and dizziness fogged his mind. He didn't understand why the scents affected him at the time.

Jungkook passed out several times while they tended to his wounds. He was silent to their questions. He refused to answer them out of fear of being killed or thrown out. He assumed they were humans who left their community to live off the grid. He was terrified of them discovering what he was, what he had turned into.

He no longer teased the idea of death. Not when he had come so close to it.

His recovery was slow. As he came back to himself, he started to draw away from their warm touches. He grimaced as the scents grew stronger whenever they came near. The terror of transforming without warning tore him up from the inside.

They must have been afraid of scaring him. They did not transform in his presence. He was convinced they were human until his emotions grew too fierce to control.

When he transformed, his heart seized with fear and he tried to run for the door.

He was met with a wolf larger than him. A wolf that radiated with sheer power and command.

He was face-to-face with Kim Namjoon. Alpha of the Bangtan Pack. His savior.

Jungkook sank low to the ground with emotions he couldn't explain. He presented himself before the wolf out of pure instinct, submitting to an unknown power without question.

Jungkook couldn't breathe. His entire existence was warring with itself, worse than ever before.

He was in a house filled with werewolves. He was trapped with werewolves whom he previously believed were humans. Humans he believed would kill him if they found out he was a werewolf. Humans he believed were like his parents. Yet he was like his parents in wanting to attack the wolf before him out of lectures beaten into his mind with a hammer. To attack him out of the trauma of being attacked before and transformed into this beast. To attack the wolf that had saved him from death. The house of wolves that brought him back to life.

Jungkook was falling apart at the seams. He was spiraling out of control. He was on the verge of lunging for Namjoon in a blind panic when he heard Yoongi say: " It's alright, Jungkook. You're safe here."

And his body slacked onto the ground, landing with a hard thud, and detransformed.

Jungkook sobbed until he couldn't breathe. His suppressed emotions came to the surface and boiled over. He was a disaster and didn't have the words to describe how he felt to the others.

He feels so much.

And as Namjoon gazes into Jungkook's eyes in the doorway of the kitchen, Jungkook feels a clawing panic inside of his throat.

The all-consuming fear of losing his beloved pack to the real monsters outside.

"Oh Jungkookie..." Namjoon breathes and opens his arms to him. "Come here, babe..."

Jungkook thrust his body towards Namjoon and buried his face into his shoulder. He cried into his shirt, not caring if it stained, and held onto him for dear life. He clings to Namjoon's frame and sways him side-to-side in a silent dance.

Namjoon combs his fingers through Jungkook's hair, smoothing it back and teasing the nape of his neck. Namjoon murmurs soft words of comfort and holds him equally as close.

"You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay..."

He needs to hear the words. He needs to hear them over and over again until he can believe they're true.

"Please don't leave us," Jungkook pleads as his breath hitches. "Don't go, please... please hyung, you're all I have... the pack is all I have..."

"We're not going anywhere right now," Namjoon reassures, pressing his lips against the curve of Jungkook's ear.

He shakes his head, unsatisfied. "Don't go at all, please don't go there."

"I..." Namjoon's voice falters.

Jungkook pulls back slightly and stares at his hyung in disbelief. "You can't go. It's a trap , hyung, you can't possibly think this will go well."

Namjoon's lips pull back into a sad line. "I know it's scary."

"It's not going to end well, hyung."

Namjoon hugs Jungkook against him again. He holds him in his arms and allows Jungkook to catch his breath. The calming scent of Namjoon enters his system and works to calm the rising panic. The sedative effects of his Alpha pheromones force Jungkook's heart to return to a steady beat.

"This is stressing everybody out," Namjoon says quietly. "But I feel like we don't have a choice. If we reject their invitation, especially after Lottie shot at them... we could start a war by doing nothing."

"So we're going to pretend to be ignorant?" he asks.

"We're going to be careful ."

Jungkook's heart twists with anger. He pulls back from Namjoon with wide eyes. "You can't be serious."

"Jungkook--"

"You're not listening to us!" he snaps. "We're telling you that this is a bad idea! Everybody has a bad feeling about this, and you're not listening!"

Namjoon draws back in surprise.

Seokjin looks on in silence.

Jungkook turns to the oldest of the pack in disbelief. "Why are we okay with this?"

Yoongi, who had withdrawn into the kitchen to watch the soup, speaks up instead. "It's because this could be an offering of peace."

"Then why didn't they contact us through normal methods?" he argues.

"Because the Nightwalkers are still douchebags," Yoongi replies flatly, stirring his soup with a frown. "They enjoy intimidating other packs. It doesn't mean they're going to war with us."

"But they could be."

"But maybe they aren't ."

"Maybe they weren't before, but what if they took Charlotte's misfire as a threat?" he asks. He maintains a distance between him and Namjoon. The space between them feels painfully electrified. He wants to be cuddled in Namjoon's arms but Jungkook's frustration keeps him from his embrace.

"I think we're overreacting," Namjoon says, squeezing his hands together.

"Maybe Jungkook has a point," Seokjin looks between them in concern. "We haven't been able to contact the Nightwalkers since that day. I don't like the look of this, Joon-ah. None of us do."

Namjoon's expression shifts from hesitant to irritated. He stares at Seokjin for a moment before ducking his head and stepping back from us. "Everybody keeps changing their minds," he says instead.

"No, you're changing your mind," Jin points out.

"Because everybody keeps telling me different things!" Namjoon's jaw clenches and a muscle juts out. "Nobody is making a decision, you all just keep telling me how bad this feels."

"It's your decision in the end," Yoongi says from the kitchen. He watches them from the corner of his eye. "You are our Alpha."

"But we're a pack," Namjoon responds firmly.

"And a pack requires a leader, and you're our leader," Yoongi continues with a slight nod of his head. "We'll follow you."

"But you're not following me."

Jungkook shakes his head.

"We're worried that you aren't considering all of the possibilities," Seokjin explains, gently kicking the back of Junkook's foot. The small touch reminds Jungkook to soften his expression. He sniffles and wipes away the last of his tears, recovering himself.

"I am," Namjoon defends, "in fact, I think I'm doing a too good of a job of it."

"We understand, but--"

"You don't understand," Namjoon snaps, his scent sharpening in the air.

Jungkook grimaces as the usual soft tones of the forest turn ugly and rotting. It's suffocating him.

"None of you understand!" his voice growing louder and angrier. "I don't know what you want! I don't know what any of you want! We keep talking about it, but nothing is happening! None of you are being clear!"

Seokjin forces himself between Jungkook and Namjoon. Jin stares into Namjoon's eyes with a sobering coldness. Though the lingering of the heat remains in his rose scent, there is a clarity in his eyes as he stares down the Alpha. "Don't talk to us like that. We are trying to help, and we're trying to communicate our concerns. This is a stressful situation, and you know that. It's not our fault we're in this mess, and you can't blame us for being worried."

Namjoon's eyes are shaking. He's restraining something.

Seokjin continues during Namjoon's silence. "You aren't being clear one way or the other. It doesn't help that our heats are being triggered, especially when other members aren't allowed to go into one. Our system was messed up, and that's out of our control. What we can control is how we continue from here."

"Seokjin hyung is right," Yoongi speaks up, removing his pot from the stovetop. He wipes his hands on the dishtowel before coming over to them. "Now is not the time to argue about this, especially about something out of our control."

"We're going, then," Namjoon decides in a firm tone.

"If you think that's best."

Namjoon grimaces at the comment and starts to back away from the older hyungs. "But I don't."

"Then we don't go," Seokjin amends with a slight shrug.

"It's not that simple, hyung! There are consequences for our actions! You weren't there when I met them! You don't know what they're like!"

"No, I don't know. But if you've made your decision, then we trust you."

"Stop sounding so passive-aggressive," Namjoon scolds, raking his hand through his hair. "You're being condescending! You don't know what I'm going through right now! Don't act like you know everything!"

Seokjin closes his eyes for a beat. "You won't speak to me like that." There was no malice in his response, but Jungkook feels his chest prickling with anxiety.

He has never seen Seokjin and Namjoon fight before. He didn't even think it was possible . Watching the two of them argue feels like the world is truly coming to an end.

Namjoon cuts himself off before he could go any further.

Seokjin's rosy scent grows thorns. The blackcurrant and spice thicken and lays uncomfortably over Jungkook's inner nose and tongue. The spiciness is too strong, too bitter. Jungkook's eyes water as it strengthens and floods the area with its spiky edge.

"Let's just calm down," Yoongi suggests, his vanilla bourbon scent is blissfully sweet in comparison to the two upset hyungs. "I think we're all stressed, between heats and the Nightwalkers, this couldn't be timed worse."

Jungkook glances between the older wolves and feels a twinge of guilt. If he hadn't fallen apart, they wouldn't be arguing. He should have been stronger.

Seokjin takes a breath but says nothing.

Namjoon stares at Jin for a long and tense moment. Finally, he breaks the silence and his scent weakens. "I'm sorry, hyung. I shouldn't talk to you like that."

"I accept your apology." Seokjin's gaze softens and he takes Namjoon's shoulder in his hand. "I'm sorry too. I don't mean to sound condescending. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"I know, hyung, I'm sorry for overreacting," Namjoon continues, grimacing slightly. He leans into Seokjin's hand and tilts his head. "It's just... I feel like there's no right answer. I keep running in circles."

"Chasing your tail?" Seokjin suggests with a glimmer of humor in his eyes.

Namjoon gives him a pained smile.

Then Seokjin turns towards Jungkook. He opens his other arm out to him. "Come here."

Jungkook shuffles his feet and moves into his embrace. He cuddles against Jin's chest and closes his eyes, breathing in the soft rose petal scent in peace. "I didn't mean to make you argue."

"You didn't make us argue, you don't need to apologize..."

Yoongi's sweet and musky scent strengthens without warning and fills Jungkook's mind with images of smoky rooms and dark glass bottles. His eyes droop at the vanilla tones and its comforting embrace.

"Let's have lunch, and then we can sit down and talk together," Yoongi suggests, resting his hand on Jungkook's back.

"I'll go and see if the others are hungry," Namjoon suggests as he inches away from the group. "I know Lottie gets hungry after a heat."

Jungkook forces back a sigh at the thought of being in the room with them. Why can't I go into a heat too?

Seokjin lays a light kiss on Jungkook's head. "I know that scent."

"It doesn't feel fair," he replies quietly.

"What doesn't?"

"How come they get to be in a heat? How come you were able to?" he asks, ignoring the fact he sounds like a child. "I know she isn't picking favorites, but why does it feel like she is?"

"She's trying to keep herself... organized," Seokjin offers but there is a note of confusion. "She regrets waiting so long. This won't happen again."

"How do you know that? What if she's actually angry with us?" Jungkook lifts his head to meet his hyung's gaze.

"If she's angry at anybody, it's herself."

"It feels like we're being rejected."

"She's been working through a lot," Yoongi offers. "She's come a long way. And you have too, Koo. Be patient with her."

Jungkook nods, acknowledging their words. He knows they are right. Yet his heart continues to deny it.

"She loves us, and we love her," Seokjin adds.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"You don't need to do anything," Yoongi reassures him and finds Jungkook's hand. He holds it tightly and leans against him. "Just relax here."

Jungkook's heat builds to the point of pain. He winces and feels himself doubling over. "It hurts ."

"Should we move to the living room?"

Jungkook shakes his head firmly, wishing to stay far away from the bedroom door. He presses into Seokjin more and buries his head in his shirt. "Just stay with me for a second," he forces out as the heat grows worse.

"Okay, we'll stay with you..."

Jungkook rests in their presence, soaking in their warmth and breathing in their scents. The heat dims as a reaction to their closeness, satisfied by the pheromones in the area. But this is only temporary. Jungkook will need Charlotte when the time comes.

Lunas and Sols are the only ones who can truly satiate the needs of a heat. Others may ease its intensity or talk them down from going feral but it is only a small bandaid over a gushing wound.

Jungkook needs Charlotte.

Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath through the corner of his mouth. "We're going to be gentle today. It's going to be a rough couple of days. If you really do need Charlotte, you need to talk to her. She's not a mind-reader."

"I feel like she thinks it's a chore," Jungkook comments with a note of bitterness. "That our heats are something she needs to get over with. She doesn't even..."

"She doesn't think that, I know she doesn't," Seokjin reassures him in a gentle tone. "She treasures our moments. She doesn't think it's a waste of time. She loves us, and we love her. She can't be everywhere at once either. We're a family, and we need to be able to respect each other's time."

"I know, I know... I'm sorry, hyung."

"Don't apologize for how you feel. You are allowed to have emotions and feel offended. But know that her stress has nothing to do with you. And that she isn't purposefully ignoring you."

"I'm going to finish up lunch. Here, Jungkook, come and help me," Yoongi says and pulls on his arm. Jungkook removes himself from his hyungie's embrace and follows Yoongi into the kitchen.

He grabs a set of plates from the cabinets and sets them out on the table. Yoongi scoops soup into the bowls and hands them off to Jungkook. Jungkook places them on top of the plates and searches the kitchen for a loaf of fresh bread.

The bread is sitting beside the sink and near the half-shattered window. Memories of holding Charlotte in his arms with Yoongi pressed against him flash through his head. He stares at the place with a sense of longing.

He was close to falling into a heat that night. He was so close to falling apart and melting at the touch of her fingertips.

The sound of voices jolts him from his heat-induced daydreaming. He glances over his shoulder and watches as shadows of the others move across the doorway. He listens closely and recognizes Hobi's voice among them.

He must be back from hunting.

Jungkook focuses on slicing the bread for a while until he catches wind of Hobi's sweet and plant-like scent. He lifts his head and sniffs the air, breathing in the refreshing smell. Hobi hyung's scent is one of Jungkook's favorites. The clean and airy scent is gentle on Jungkook's sensitive nose.

"Hey baby..." Hoseok comes up behind Jungkook and wraps his arms around his waist. He leans against his body and snuggles his head against Junkook. "I heard you were having a rough day?"

Jungkook nods stiffly, knife hovering above the bread. "Yeah. But it's nothing, hyung..."

Hoseok's hands squeeze at Jungkook's tummy and a jolt of laughter shoots through him. He giggles and presses his elbows into his sides, against Hobi's cold hands.

"Oh you're holding a knife!" Hoseok exclaims and retracts his hands. He shoots Jungkook a wide-eyed look. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Jungkook reassures him and returns to cutting the bread. "I needed that, anyway."

"Nap time, you and me," he says, pointing between them.

Jungkook's eyes soften with relief. "Yeah. Let's do it."

"Good, good," Hoseok coos and ruffles Jungkook's hair. He kisses his cheek before slipping away to help the others.

Jungkook smiles warmly at his bread, relishing the touch of Hobi's lips on his cheek. A blossoming heat forms in his stomach but it isn't the bad kind. It's the fluttering type that leaves Jungkook a blushing mess.

It'll be okay soon, he reminds himself. It's a bad day, but it'll be over soon. I should try to trust the others.

Maybe a good nap is all he needs to feel better again, or at least ease the pain within his heart.

Too much tension has built over the course of weeks, and Jungkook feels as if he were ready to shatter.