so this is the Valentine's extra I wrote since you all have been so sweet concerning this story. this ended up A LOT longer than I originally planned, but regardless, enjoy!

EXTRA

RASPBERRY

WHOEVER FELL IN love first lost.

Tapping his 4B pencil on the table, Finn thought this concept over, trying to figuring out where he had first heard that phrase. It sounded something one of his few friends would believe in, since they were all hopeless romantics, emphasis on the hopeless part. He sighed and stared at the abstract algebra textbook in front of him, unable to focus on the mathematical problem in front of him for what felt like the first time in three years.

"If you have any questions, I'm always here to..." Mr. Shekh's voice trailed off when Finn looked up, mildly confused at that statement. Mr. Shekh sighed. "Is there anything bothering you, maybe? We can take a break from the assignment if you want. Is it Valentine's Day? You would think your girlfriend would understand if you don't want to go on a date."

"My dad," Finn explained, turning the page in his notebook to restart the problem, "and my cousin want me to."

Mr. Shekh nodded, as though understanding. "My boyfriend hates Valentine's Day too, but I don't really mind it. Some of my students are scrambling to find dates so close to the day." He paused and looked at Finn's pencil. "What exactly about Valentine's Day is bothering you?"

Finn shrugged, unsure himself, but stored the information in his head that Mr. Shekh had a boyfriend. Was it a student? A coworker? A regular average Joe working as a nurse? "I'll work on the problem now."

"You shouldn't force yourself, Finn. If you want, you can leave early and do these practice problems at home with your homework." Mr. Shekh had been Finn's teacher for the last three years, which meant they had some form of an intimate relationship. Finn wondered if he'd get Mr. Shekh next year at college. "You can just talk, if you want, or not. But don't force yourself to do the problems. I read that keeping everything to yourself isn't good."

"It's alright," Finn said, not entirely sure if he was keeping something to himself. Just because he had to do something with Kayleigh on Valentine's Day doesn't mean it's the end of the world. "I can just do the problems." When hurt flickered on Mr. Shekh's face, Finn hesitated. Did Mr. Shekh want to talk that much? "My dad's picking me up today anyway."

"Oh." Mr. Shekh looked relieved for some reason. "I forgot you don't live in the dorms." He paused, twiddled his thumbs, and then asked, "Do you have any idea where you're going for college? You're going to hear back soon, aren't you? Any idea what you're majoring in?"

"Physics," he answered, unsure where this conversation was going. He hasn't even had this discussion with Kayleigh, or Norman, or Ignatius, and it seemed weird that he was having this conversation with Mr. Shekh first. "I haven't heard back yet."

"Right, right," his teacher said, although looking slightly impressed at Finn. "I remember when you were still a sophomore. You had no idea what you wanted to do with your future. I'm glad you at least picked a major. It's like I've seen you grow up."

Finn wondered if Mr. Shekh was right. Although he had always liked physics and math, Finn had never thought about what he was going to do in the future, much less if he even wanted to go to college. Now that it was less than year away, it seemed like there was no option for him but to go to college. Looking back on his memories, Finn remembered his first conversation with Mr. Shekh, when the man had asked him if he had anything he wanted to do in the future with his prodigal math skills. Finn remembered saying that he was going to work at Salvatore's, and after Mr. Shekh asked what Salvatore's was, Finn explained that Salvatore's was his dad's ice cream parlor.

"You're a mathematical prodigy, and you want to have a menial job at an ice cream parlor?" Mr. Shekh had asked, and Finn had shrugged back then, as though asking why not? while being slightly offended that his new teacher thought his dad did a menial job. Though he had been more worried when Mr. Shekh had looked like he was having a heart attack after Finn's shrug, and Mr. Shekh lectured Finn about wasted potential and apathy and the American Dream that now applied to people who weren't racially American. Finn only remembered asking back if happiness was part of that picture, and since then, Mr. Shekh had never spoke of the topic again. Finn wondered what he had said made Mr. Shekh shut up.

"Thank you," Finn said. If he hadn't had Mr. Shekh as his math teacher these past years, Finn didn't know what would have become of him. Finn still wanted to ask about their first conversation, since it didn't seem like Mr. Shekh would've given up on the topic that easily.

"You and your girlfriend are still doing well, right? If not, you can tell me about it." Finn's eyebrows furrowed together at that suggestion, and Mr. Shekh apologized. "Sorry, I know you're not a talker. Well, you and Ignatius are still in touch, right? You can talk... text him if you have anything to say. Where is Ignatius, anyway?"

"Texas," Finn answered. "Chemical engineering."

Mr. Shekh smiled. "I'm glad Ignatius is doing what he wants to. Jeez, I feel old, looking back on my students in nostalgia. I still remember that time when Ignatius came in here eighth period, having skipped class to stock up on milk or something, and then asked you for your opinion on different flavored milk. You just chose regular milk, and Ignatius turned three shades of purple. He sure thought of you really highly. It's weird that you're the younger one."

Finn almost smiled at that memory. That was Mr. Shekh's first time meeting Ignatius properly, after Finn told him about the annoying Nepali boy in his organic chemistry.

"It's nice that Ignatius and you are still friends. I don't think I'm still in contact with anyone from high school, but you remember them for the rest of your life. High school's special."

I hope so, Finn thought, thinking back to all his friends. It would be weird if suddenly, they weren't in his life anymore.

"If you don't feel like doing the problems, we still have the room until school ends. Unless you have any questions, I'm going to go back to campus."

Looking at his homework problems and then at the practice problems, Finn decided it was doable to finish over the weekend and nodded, putting everything away and taking out the book Alexandra had wanted him to read. He hadn't had high hopes for it, since he didn't read fiction outside of school, but it was better than he had anticipated.

"Finn, one more thing before I leave." Mr. Shekh paused at the doorway, looking at Finn once more. "If you ever need help with the homework, or anything else, you have my number and email, right? You're different, and it just seems weird that next year, I won't get to teach you anymore." Mr. Shekh chuckled. "Nostalgia, isn't it? I'm an old man now."

"There's nothing wrong with being nostalgic," Finn comforted, looking back at his book as soon as he said it. Mr. Shekh chuckled lightly, and Finn looked up with genuine worry. He hadn't tried to be funny, but now Mr. Shekh's chuckle escalated to full-blown laughter.

"Yup, there's definitely something different about you. We should keep in touch. Anyway, have a good one."

Finn waved at his teacher without looking up from his book, focusing on the words instead of the world around him. Regardless of how strong his focus was, he kept being reminded of that phrase from before, and he couldn't shake it out of his head. Who had told him whoever fell in love first lost? It sounded like something Kayleigh would believe in, but if she was the one who fell in love first, why would she say that? For pity? Maybe Kayleigh and Norman were discussing it, and Finn happened to overhear.

Though he can't remember meeting Norman recently.

Taking out his phone, Finn texted Ignatius, hoping the latter didn't have class, and asked him about the phrase. He only had to watch a minute before Ignatius texted back he was in the middle of catching up on his anime shows, and that texting him in the middle was rude and unprofessional. Finn only scoffed in return, telling Ignatius to just silence his phone.

Don't sass me, Finn. Anyway, all I know about the phrase is that it's important in Japan because it's in like every. single. romance. manga. I don't think you'd watch any of those shows tho. Ignatius paused on his end, and Finn waited for him to continue. By the way... aren't you in school rn?

Math ended early, Finn replied. Apparently it was a Japanese phrase. Did Ignatius or Alexandra tell him it? Did Kayleigh hear it from Ignatius then? He frowned and realized how that opened more questions than closed.

Aren't you done with all the math left in the world? Mr. Shekh is still teaching you? Ignatius attached a Japanese emoji, or some hieroglyphic, and to save his sanity, Finn pretended he didn't see it.

I stopped taking classes over the summer. Huapeng wanted me to take internships. Finn remembered back to last summer, where Huapeng had sent Finn to work at a tutoring academy for the summer. He shivered as he thought of the middle schoolers he had taught algebra I to.

Ignatius sent another hieroglyphic with the message, That and otherwise you'd be done with college by now. you would think Mr. Shekh would be done with teaching you. Who teachs you science now?

It changes depending on the course, Finn replied, checking the time. School would end soon, and instead of getting caught in the middle of other students, he packed his stuff, said goodbye to Ignatius, and left for the parking lot, still wondering about that phrase in his head.

* * *

"What do people do for Valentine's Day?" Alexandra asked, repeating Finn's question. The two of them had been playing Monopoly with Huapeng, but Huapeng went bankrupt, quit, and left to bake cookies for the aforementioned day. "I don't know. Give each other chocolates? Watch the sunset? Eat dinner out? My knowledge on Valentine's Day comes from Oliver and Luke, and anime. None of that would be applicable for you. Unlike you and Kayleigh, Oliver and Luke are lovey-dovey."

"They wouldn't appreciate you saying that."

"They knew it's true." Alexandra took the dice from Finn, went the appropriate number of spaces, and upgraded her property. "But I don't know. Give her chocolates. Flowers. The whole pineapple. That's all I have. Isn't Kayleigh planning it anyway? Why are you worried?"

The whole pineapple? Finn asked himself as he took the dice off the board and rolled two sixes. "Kayleigh doesn't eat chocolate."

"Isn't her favorite flavor of ice cream Moose Tracks? How can she not like chocolate?"

"She doesn't like chocolate bars." Finn moved past "go," collected his two hundred dollars, and gave Alexandra the dice.

She shrugged. "Well Kayleigh's more capable than you in planning dates, so don't worry about it. She'll be just happy that you're actually going with her instead of ditching her at the last minute by pretending to be sick." Finn wasn't convinced. He only had a few days left until Valentine's Day, and if he didn't get Kayleigh a good gift, he would most likely get a scolding from Huapeng and Xidao. Maybe he could get her a card, and she would probably be happy with it since it would be more than she expected. Finn did algebra, he did physics, but he didn't do romance.

As Finn gathered the rent money for Alexandra, she was looking for something to eat. "How do you like the book, by the way? Matter's End is supposed to be a physicist's must-reads."

"It's good."

Scoffing as she got out a box of Mike and Ike, she said, "That's understating it. I read it before giving it to you, and it's definitely better than most of books you read for fun. Much better than The Radleys."

Finn didn't reply and continued playing the game, his mind still on Kayleigh. Why was he even with Kayleigh in the first place? Attachment only led to trouble. He had determined early on that love and hate weren't opposites, since both involved strong emotional attachment, but indifference, apathy, insouciance... Whatever its name, they gave people nothing to live for, nothing to care about, nothing to fight for.

Not that Finn did any fighting in the first place.

Being with Kayleigh was like sitting in front of a campfire. It will provide enough heat for the time being, but everyone knows that you can't sit front of the fire forever. At some point, it'll go out, whether because of lack of oxygen or tinder or kindling, and it's also possible to put it out without waiting. Finn wondered if he should. He wondered if Kayleigh was ever going to.

Even after all these years, Finn had no idea why Kayleigh wanted to be with him in the first place. He showed her that she meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, that she had no right to expect anything out of anyone, but at the same time, who hadn't done that at least once? Was it possible for Finn to bring this up now?

"Yes!" Alexandra exclaimed. "You landed on Park Place! Hand me the money." Finn mindlessly counted the money and wondered if he could ask Alexandra about his entire predicament. She would be more understanding than either Huapeng or his dad, but at the same time, he was wary of ever asking Alexandra for advice.

"What do you think about Kayleigh?" Finn blurted before he realized it, and Alexandra's happy expression faded as she narrowed her eyes.

"If you got her pregnant and am abandoning her, I'm telling you, Huáng Jiāxīn, we raised you to have a sense of responsibility."

Finn nearly laughed. Of course that was Alexandra's first reaction. "It's not that."

"Oh." She blinked. "Then, I guess, Kayleigh's nice. She's a little on the naïve side, but she's nice. She sees the good in people. Otherwise she wouldn't be with you. I admire her for putting up with you." Alexandra looked around nervously and then leaned in. "No offense, though, but sometimes she needs someone who would tell her directly that she's not everything. Someone to push her off her pedestal. You know, like Miyagi?"

"Who's Miyagi?" asked Finn. When her face morphed into the same face Ignatius had when he was about to talk about anime, he immediately regretted it and wanted to go back to ten seconds ago.

"You quoted him to Kayleigh once. Ignatius told you about him?" As Alexandra stared at Finn's face, she realized that Finn must've quoted this Miyagi without knowing. "I don't even know how to continue. But I wish he had more content in the story. Anime-wise, they only have four episodes out of like thirty-six, but that's because they have so little content in the books. You know Miyagi wasn't even going to have his own story until fans liked Miyagi?"

As much as Finn loved and admired Alexandra for her intelligence, she needed to make sense more than seven percent of the time.

"Didn't you used to think Kayleigh was a stalker or something? 'To the terrorist, I admit defeat.' I think you totally get him." Alexandra chuckled, a bright smile settling on her face. "Maybe I should lend you the books, I have some of them in English. Actually, they might not be English yet. I'm going to check that." Alexandra took out her phone, and Finn tilted his head. Did Alexandra even know Japanese? Why would she buy the books in Japanese?

"Oh, here's some quotes," she continued. "I have a bunch of these. Let's see. 'If I could forget, would I be able to live a happy life? Once enough time passed, will this crushing misery disappear? Will I find my own happiness?' Just saying, all these quotes might not be accurate because they're translated. But I love Miyagi so much, but now that I know he resembles you, his value is a little diminished. He thinks soulmates are stupid too. What was it again? 'There's no such thing as eternal love. No matter how good your mutual love for one another is... you'll someday go your separate ways.' Depressing, in my opinion, but scarily accurate for you."

There's no such as eternal love. No matter how good your mutual love for one another is...

"What else has he said? Let's see... 'Isn't it that when you become an adult, you have freedom to explore such a large world. I wonder why is it I feel that the world is so constricted at this moment.'" Alexandra chuckled. "You listening, Finn?"

...you'll someday go your separate ways.

That's what Finn had been contemplating, down to the very word. The one who fell in love first lost, that was a lie. Finn was losing, because eternal love was nonexistent. He thought it was a foolish concept, and Kayleigh believed in it, which meant that he must be the one losing.

"Oh, this one is good. 'Why is it that I'm anxious when I love him? No, I love him, that's why I'm anxious. It's because I love you that even if I take off the armor I've worn all my life, I'll still chase after you.' I swear, you should read it. This guy is you to the max. Finn... Finn?"

Finn snapped out of his thoughts and nodded. "Sorry, I was thinking about my math homework."

"Mr. Shekh is still assigning you hard problems?"

He shrugged. The problems he didn't do earlier today weren't that bad, and at least he had the entire weekend to work on them. If he wasn't too busy thinking about his predicament with Kayleigh, that was.

"You know, 'just because you've got some silly notions lodged in your head, doesn't mean you can push other people around.'" Alexandra smiled, proud of herself, but Finn only glared at her. She sighed. "It's a quote from the series. Jeez, you would think you would understand of all people. Huapeng said you hated Kayleigh so much at the beginning of your relationship, and here you are, not understanding the perfectly good parallel!" Alexandra threw her hands in the air angrily. "I thought you were smart. You did multivari last year! You're on abstract algebra! And how do you not understand my perfectly good parallel? Don't you have an IQ of like a million?"

Finn was about to say that it's impossible to get an IQ of a million, but Alexandra had already moved on with her life to her next point.

"What's after orgo chem, by the way?"

"Inorganic."

"And after that?"

"Physical chemistry." Another silence filled their conversation, until Alexandra seemed to think of something else to say. "Oh, right, have you seen the A Confederacy of Dunces guy lately?" Finn sent her a confused look, and Alexandra sighed. "Ignatius, jeez. The main character of the book is Ignatius. Didn't you read it for school?"

"I'm in grade level English."

Alexandra nodded, muttering "right, right" under her breath. Finn wondered how they were related, when the two of them seemed so different. Alexandra was a humanities nerd, and Finn was a STEM nerd. "Anyway, what happened with Ignatius?"

"He's in Texas."

"He does know there are more famous anime cons in CA, right?"

"He graduated."

"High school?" she shrieked, and Finn nodded in affirmation, looking at his nails. If he picked his nails, this would be a moment to do so.

"Chemical engineering."

"How do you even know all that?"

"He told me."

"Why would he tell you?"

He didn't reply to that. Ignatius's former roommate, whose name Finn never bothered learning, wouldn't stop talking to Finn at school, so even if he stopped communicating with Ignatius, Finn would've found out either way.

"You helped him pass, and then he told you what he was majoring in? I want to curse so badly."

Finn shrugged and handed her the dice. "Then curse."

Alexandra glared at him. "I don't even know where to begin with that statement. You don't curse."

"It's pointless."

She sighed and rolled the dice, landing on Finn's property. Alexandra paid him the rent, and the two of them continued the game with ease. Finn's mind was elsewhere though, wondering if it was logical for him to break up with the only person who ever broke down his walls. Without Kayleigh, Finn would have never befriend Norman and Ignatius or be the person he was today. Was it logical to break up over a personal reason over a logical one, when the personal reason was one of not wanting to be attached? Was it logical, because it in itself that he was already attached to other people already? Even if it was bizarre the two of them were together, even if he thought love was useless, it just didn't seem right to break up for that reason.

Kayleigh has broken all of Finn's rules anyways, and if it was her - well, Finn didn't think he minded.

* * *

When Finn woke up on Monday, he found himself sleeping on a tan couch without a blanket.

Now abruptly sitting up, he wondered where he was. There wasn't a tan couch back home, and Huapeng or his dad would've put a blanket on him if he was doing homework in the living room. Finn looked around the room, at the pale blue walls, the empty picture frames hung up, and the shattered glass on the ground near the most likely freshly unpacked television. The television itself looked like it had never been used.

Before Finn could compile a list of potential situations of why he was here in his head (was he kidnapped? Did he blindly follow someone? Was he still dreaming?), his morning alarm rang, and it was the same as it always was. Turning it off, he checked his notifications and saw nothing, not even a text from his dad asking where he was. Sighing, he texted Alexandra, hoping she had an answer for him, but she only texted back, Finn, the jaded and cynical boy who never would walk besides his own cousin in case someone thought they were dating even though they have a huge age difference, doesn't know where he is?

Not helpful, Finn decided, and he saw his math homework laid out on the table and his backpack nearby. Scanning his memories of last night, he recalled doing the homework, but he couldn't seem to remember coming into this room.

"Was that your alarm, Jiāxīn?"

Finn turned to the source of the voice, and he saw a woman in her mid-forties, maybe older, standing there with only a bathrobe on. He blinked, unsure how she knew his Chinese name, but then her voice seemed to trigger some memory in his brain because he nodded.

"Yes," he said, continuing the conversation in Mandarin. She seemed glad to be speaking in a lingua franca, similar to last night, and Finn continued. "Is Kayleigh still here? I must've accidentally fallen asleep." Finn received another text message from Alexandra now, reading Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean that I don't worry about you!

Alexandra was not helping.

"I'll go get her. Just stay here." With that, she left the room, and Finn sighed, telling her that he had done homework at Kayleigh's house before falling asleep. Immediately - how much time did she have on the subway anyway? - she texted back, that's not some euphemism, is it? Because IF YOU HAD SEX WITH HER, YOU GUYS WERE SAFE, RIGHT?

Finn texted back, hope the subway crashes and you're late to school.

I hope you forget your math homework, Alexandra replied, adding a Japanese emoji at the end of it which Finn could not decipher. He sighed and rubbed his temple, closing his eyes to get a little rest. It was too early in the morning to be this stressed.

When Finn heard rapid footsteps, he looked up and saw Kayleigh running over to where Finn was sitting, kneeling in front of him so they could be eye level. "I'm so sorry, Finn! You got a good night's sleep, right? I went to bed and completely forgot you were here, and you didn't even have a blanket all night. Are you okay? Are you cold? I'll make you coffee or tea or something? I'm so sorry. When she told me that a friend was here, I was so confused." She saw his homework on the table and panicked. "Did you not finish your homework?"

"I finished," he reassured, not actually knowing if he had. If he didn't, he could always work on it at lunch. Closing his textbook and notebook, he started to pack his backpack. Kayleigh put a hand on his shoulder in relief.

"Good. Anyway, coffee or tea?"

"What?"

"We don't have that much breakfast food, but we do have red tea and green tea, and decaf coffee, and instant coffee. And juice! Mango juice, I think. We don't have apple or orange juice." Kayleigh got up, and Finn noticed she was wearing a white t-shirt and nylon shorts, which were shorter than what she normally wore. Did she rush out of her bedroom without even changing? What if she had been half naked if she came out here?

She noticed him staring at her thigh, and Finn turned away. "Green tea."

"Okay. You should have time to get to school, but tell Huapeng you're still here. I told her last night that you came over, but I didn't say you were staying."

Finn nodded, thankful he was still wearing his school uniform, and texted Huapeng that he would head to school straight from Kayleigh's house due to him accidentally sleeping over. A few minutes later, Huapeng told him that she hoped that they had been safe. It took all Finn had not to text back how atrocious that idea would be. Huapeng and Alexandra truly were cousins. He, on the other hand, was the outsider.

"Here's your tea!" Kayleigh handed him a plain white mug, and he took a sip out of it, not bothered by how hot it was. "I hope you aren't late to school. I can drive you there if you want. I'll just ask if I can borrow the car, and-"

"If I leave in five minutes, I can be there on time." Finn remembered that Kayleigh's house was only a block or two away from his, and if that was so, it wouldn't take much longer to get to school.

Kayleigh still looked guilty. "It was your first time over at my house, and I forgot that you were still here! This is so disappointing. Is Huapeng okay with you having already stayed and not going home?" He nodded. "Okay then. Well, if you don't need me to drive you, I'll walk you to school. Hopefully Huang-shūshu will understand that you stayed over. I don't want to lose his trust."

If it was Kayleigh, Finn didn't think that his dad would mind even if they had unsafe sex. Occasionally Finn had the idea that Kayleigh was more loved than he was in the Huang family. He finished his green tea, put his mug into the kitchen sink, and then opened an old package of Skittles he had in his backpack.

"Are you ready?" Kayleigh asked, offering Finn the crook of her elbow. Reluctantly, he put his hand there and walked with her out the door. She locked the door behind them, and they started walking to the subway station in silence. A few minutes later, when Finn was done with his package of Skittles, Kayleigh spoke up again. "If you want, I'll take the red Skittles." Finn nodded and handed her the bag, and she ate the strawberry Skittles happily.

Suddenly Valentine's Day didn't seem so bad.

* * *

"You guys were safe, right?" Huapeng asked the second Finn walked into Salvatore's after school, and Finn calmly raised an eyebrow at her. He went behind the counter and put his backpack on the stairs leading up to their living spaces.

"We didn't have sex," he said, rubbing his shoulders. His backpack was surprisingly heavy today, and he wondered if that had to do with his guilt.

"I can't believe I actually just heard you say that." Huapeng pulled on Finn's arm and made it so that they stared each other in the eye. He went unblinking for a full minute before turning away, the game growing boring.

"We didn't have sex," Finn repeated. Even if they did have sex, Huapeng wouldn't care because it was with Kayleigh. Was she just doing standard cousin things, or did Huapeng not trust Kayleigh that much? "The two of us just fell asleep accidentally separately in different rooms."

"Did you really feel the need to add the 'separately in different rooms' part?"

"Yes."

Huapeng rolled her eyes. "You code, right?" Finn nodded. "Because Alexandra said she wanted to make a website for Salvatore's, so we thought it would be cool to let her. She's family and all. I just thought you might be able to help her or give her suggestions if you want."

"Why is she making it?"

"It's for some school project, I think. College assignments sure have changed since I was there." Huapeng checked the time on her phone. "It's probably going to change now that you're going to college. What will they do if you've already done all the math out there?"

She couldn't be serious. Finn was good at math, but he wasn't that good at math.

"Anyway, I have to go to teach kids chess now. You can take over, right? I think shūshu's out right now."

"I can take over," he said, putting on his apron and nametag. "Oh, do we have any raspberries?" Huapeng popped her head back into the kitchen and frowned.

"Um, we should have some in the freezer downstairs. Any particular reason why? Shūshu scrapped the raspberry ice cream idea."

"No particular reason," he said, lying straight to his teeth. Huapeng shrugged and handed him two scoops of Moose Tracks ice cream on a cone.

"Anyway, I've got to go. Have fun eating raspberries or whatever you're doing with them."

He watched her leave and bit into the ice cream, relishing the cold flavor. The green tea this morning had been too hot for him, but at the same time, it felt like the same temperature as the ice cream. Sighing, he wondered if Xidao and Huapeng knew Finn well enough and knew if he was going to have sex, it would be safe. It may be that they knew Finn wouldn't have sex with Kayleigh within two years of them knowing each other.

Maybe, Finn thought as he ate the ice cream, it wasn't Xidao and Huapeng knowing Finn, but them trusting Kayleigh. That made him feel a little better.

* * *

Whoever fell in love first lost.

As much as there is truth in this statement, Finn knew that all statements had their faults. After all, didn't veterinarians have to look gift horses in the mouth? It was illogical to think any proverb, axiom, and/or aphorism was true all the time. Therefore, thinking that whoever fell in love first lost was futile.

Mr. Shekh was scrolling through something (Instagram? Twitter? Emails?) on his phone, and Finn, looking up between problems, wondered if the man was waiting to go back home to his boyfriend. Assuming they lived together, but Finn didn't actually know. Did adults in a serious relationship live together? Was there a time limit on an exclusive relationship before they lived together? Relationships seemed hard.

"Do you live with your boyfriend?" Finn asked after a while, deciding that asking wasn't a big deal. Mr. Shekh looked up from his phone and frowned.

"Um, yes. Any reason you're interested?"

"Curiosity." Curiosity killed the cat, Finn thought, but satisfaction brought it back. "How long have you guys lived together?"

His teacher looked confused, almost scared, but answered Finn's question with little hesitation. "A little under a year, I think."

"What does your boyfriend do?"

"He's a lighting designer. The amount of times he's analyzed the lighting of a restaurant we've been to is more than I can count." Mr. Shekh tilted his head. "Do you want to meet him, by any chance?"

Finn thought about that for a second before shaking his head. He really had no intentions of meeting Mr. Shekh's boyfriend, because that required a certain level of intimacy he wasn't ready to admit having with his math teacher. "How long have you been together?"

"Two years, I think." So Mr. Shekh met the man between the time Finn met him and now. That was interesting. "Why are you so curious, Finn? Are you thinking of living with your girlfriend during college?"

He shook his head. "I was just curious." Awkwardly, for extra measures, he added, "Sorry."

Without skipping a beat, he said, "You don't have to apologize. This is probably the first time you've been curious about my personal life." Mr. Shekh smiled. "Anything else you'd like to know?"

Picking up his pencil again, Finn read the set-up for his next problem and frowned. "What are Diophantine equations?"

Mr. Shekh blinked and then raised an eyebrow. "Are you... asking me about math? I think everything I knew about my life was a lie." Finn skeptically looked at Mr. Shekh, who put his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, sorry. Um, what kind of Diophantine equations are we talking about?"

The two of them begun to discuss the equations, and by the time class was over, Mr. Shekh was glowing in happiness. Finn wondered if he had caused it, and if he did, why it felt so good.

Making other people happy made him happy, apparently.

"Thank you, Mr. Shekh," he said as he took out his phone and saw some text messages from Kayleigh and Ignatius. He frowned and then put his backpack over his shoulder.

"You're welcome," Mr. Shekh said. "Have a good one."

"You too." Finn walked out of the classroom with his teacher as he opened his texts with Kayleigh, who was just typing in exclamation points and capitalized letters. Not reading the texts, he moved onto Ignatius and saw a screenshot of someone's Instagram, and upon opening the file, he saw that Kayleigh already saw his ice cream.

Hi, he texted Kayleigh, who immediately texted back, THANK YOU SO MUCH! She attached a few emojis at the end of it, and he wondered if they were American emojis or Japanese ones.

It was nothing, he said, finding a feeling of happiness spreading in his chest. We had leftover raspberries anyway.

Well it tastes GREAT. I'm shocked that it's your first time making ice cream. It's less sweet than most ice cream, but I think if it was sweet, it wouldn't be something you would've made.

Finn rolled his eyes, wondering if he should send her an emoji back or a sarcastic reply. Deciding against both of them, he texted back and forth with her, navigating in the crowded hallways of his high school. By the time he got to the front of the school, he turned around and looked up at the building, realizing that high school wasn't as bad as he had believed to be years ago. The hallways and classrooms he had been in the safety of for so many years, he would be leaving in only a few months.

His phone vibrated in his hands, and he saw that Kayleigh had asked him how much longer until he got back to Salvatore's. Finn looked back up at his school, thinking back of his years in high school. From the day Ignatius went up to him and asked him to be his partner, and to today where Finn found out more about Mr. Shekh's boyfriend. He wouldn't have traded these memories for anything.

Walking toward the subway station, he texted back, Getting on the subway now, see you soon. Then, one step at a time, he started his journey home.