The morning remained a bit foggy on Winter's mind, this nagging feeling came sticking that something was a little off with Karina.

Sure, it was assessment week. Karina’s time was wrapped up in study sessions, and late nights at the library.

But Winter was picking up distance in all her texts and calls-it was something much more than just academic grind.

It was as if a thread had been pulled tight, holding barely enough, and it nagged at her all morning as her attention slipped out the window, watching raindrops trace random patterns on the glass.

She didn’t even notice her English teacher calling her name until the hum and buzz in the classroom lapsed into a lull.

Blinking, she looked around, sensing that the teacher was staring directly at her, with one eyebrow raised, and the entire class had gone silent.

Some of her classmates wore those expectant grins that waited for her to mess up. The others just observed, eyes fixed on her as if she was some sort of exhibit. Her face turned red, her heart thumping as she awkwardly stood up from her seat, casting a hopeless look in the direction of Ningning.

But Ningning… Oh, Ningning. She was pretending not to notice, gazing forward with an overblown look of concentration, as if Winter didn't exist.

And yet, very subtly, Ningning nudged her notebook in her direction, showing her what she was supposed to reply.

The writing was awkward and scrawled just like Ningning's own face, but there, faintly legible: Nile.

Winter almost laughed out loud, catching the absurdity of it all—Ningning acting like she had no idea what was going on while practically shoving the answer into her line of sight.

Winter bit her lip, fighting down a smirk, and finally answered, a little louder than she meant to almost too confident. “Nile!”

The teacher’s expression froze, hardened, a deadpan look that felt like an eternity.

For a moment, Winter’s mind scrambled: Wait, was that even the right answer? Nile? That’s a river… or maybe a band…

Her thoughts tangled, and her face must have shown her sudden doubt because Ningning let out a stifled chuckle, masking it with a poorly timed cough.

After what seemed like a century of waiting for the blow to drop, the teacher's mouth grew thin with a line.

"Sit down, Winter. And perhaps pay attention next time."

Winter still felt the heat rising from her face as she subsided back into her chair. She turned to Ningning with a sly grin and silently mouthed thanks a lot, only to be met by Ningning's wide eyes and the innocent raising of her brows.

It was enough of a distraction to pull her out of the worried spiral for the moment, but as the lesson went on, Winter's thoughts returned to Karina.

The uneasiness didn't subside; the weight wasn't shaken, wondering if maybe she'd missed something really important—or maybe it's Karina who was holding something back from her.

-

Karina was aware of every inch of her body feeling heavy as exhaustion pushed into her bones, like she hadn't slept in days.

This wasn't because the girls didn't mean well-which was the opposite. She was more than happy with how they looked after her. They never went away from her side and had one of them near, always watching her as if through a kind of carefulness that was equally comforting and suffocating.

Every step she made, every slight falter or sigh, seemed to draw upon their concern like they're afraid she's going to shatter if left alone. She understood their concern, she did.

Still, sometimes it just felt like too much: She was being cuddled too tightly, like they're wrapping her in some straitjacket she couldn't breathe in.

She had just finished the last paper, her pen heavy with dragging across the page, and as she walked out, Yeji waited for her in the hallway with that usual gentle smile, eyes searching her face.

"Did it go well?" Yeji asked, her tone light but soft, like she was ready to support Karina no matter the answer.

She nodded, her head throbbing, too tired to form words. They walked back to the dorm in comfortable silence, which Karina appreciated more than she could express.

She didn't even bother to change out of her clothes as she plopped onto her bed with the world spinning faintly as she squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingers against her temples.

The ache in her head was relentless, throbbing with a dull persistence that mirrored her exhaustion. Somehow, she’d managed to make it through her internal assessments, to show up and act like everything was fine.

Girls stuck all over her throughout, though, their faces comforting - a constant - Karina felt the weight of the pretence herself.

She knew they had their own exams to worry about, their own lives to attend to, yet here they were, babying her every step of the way. And now that her exams were over, that she'd finally survived it, she let out a slow, heavy breath, feeling as though the effort to keep going had wrung her dry.

Her thoughts drifted to Winter. The familiar ache tighten in her chest, for she breathed her name in her own silence-the word escaping so softly nothing can be heard.

For these past weeks, hiding herself behind her exams as some sort of excuse created her safe distance with Winter because she knew Winter had enough sense to notice if there was something wrong with her. But now, without that excuse, the thought of facing her made her heart crack a little.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Winter. She was quite certain of that. The only thing she could be certain of, for sure, was that. Just thinking that Winter might think otherwise made her heart ache; the very idea was absurd and yet terrifying.

No, it was because she loved Winter too much that she couldn't let her know, couldn't add to her worries when she was already working so hard just to make sure they ended up together at the same university.

How could she possibly bring this darkness into Winter's life?

And yet, the truth that hurt the most was something deeper, something harder to face: she was scared.

How would Winter react if she ever found out? Anger, disgust, hatred? Would Winter leave her, walk away for good this time, realizing she was no longer the girl she'd fallen in love with?

Karina's chest tightened as the shame crept over her, a self-loathing so deep it felt like it was etched into her bones. She hated herself for it already, tainted somehow she never could be cleaned. And if Winter saw her like this, no question of it—"Winter will hate me too."

A tear dripped down her cheek, then another, and she curled up on the bed, hiding her face against the pillow as she tried to muffle her sobs. She could feel the walls closing in, the desperation clawing at her, and she repeated to herself like a mantra, She can never know.

I'll be okay. I have to be okay.

She'd rather suffer in silence than let Winter's love for her turn into something dark, something strained by fear or pity.

She could pretend—she was tough enough to hold it all in, to laugh in daylight and break apart quietly at night.

Karina heard as the bathroom door opened and she heard the quiet padding of footsteps belonging to Yeji.
She, brushing away the last of her tears, quickly wiping at her red eyes.

She swung off of her bed in jerky movements, tucking some clothes before forcing herself to walk head straight to the bathroom, without even a momentary pause to look over at Yeji.

"It was nothing," Karina told her with an flashing force light smile as the door shut behind her.