Two

Everyone was looking.

As I walked through the main doors and entered the hallway, the crowds of people seemed to disperse immediately. Some walked around me with a large space between us, others looked away after finding interest in the seemingly plain flooring and others stared directly at me, their eyes burning viciously into the side of my head.

I walked forward, feeling as though I was heading towards my own execution. My bright yellow locker came into sight and I sped up, looking around at the people who stared at me like an exhibition in a zoo. They didn't look away from shame or at the act of being caught. Instead, they looked right at me, as if they were as perplexed as me. Stopping in front of my locker, the people nearby shifted away, scurrying down the hallway and finding other alcoves in doorways to cling to.

The cold metal of my lock felt heavy against my hand as I pulled it away from the locker door. I opened the yellow metal and hung up my bag, rolling my shoulders from the tension that filled them. The first bell rang and I glanced around. No one was moving. I frowned in confusion, pulling my coat off and making eye contact with another girl who looked away, a mocking smirk on her lips. I was about to say something when someone stopped beside me, pressing their weight against my locker door.

Maddie stood there with her brown hair pulled tightly back into an elastic that dented the follicles and nipped at her scalp. Her arms were wrapped around a single purple binder, her fingernails digging into the cushioned edges.

"How are you holding up?" Maddie asked.

"What?" I questioned.

"You know, with what happened last night," Maddie said. "I honestly thought you wouldn't even come to school."

I blinked in surprise. What was she talking about?

"Is that why everyone's looking at me weirdly?" I asked.

Maddie's face crumpled into confusion. "What do you mean? Do you not know?"

"Know what?!"

"How could you not know, Winona?" Maddie gasped, pained shock on her face. "Did you not check any notifications or messages this morning?"

"Well I did, but I just thought they were pictures and posts from the game," I said quietly.

The second bell rang and people slowly began to filter out of the hallway but people kept glancing over at me, whispers on their lips and wicked amusement on their faces.

"Well, you're the only one that doesn't know," Maddie said in realization.

"Know what?!" I pressed.

Maddie began rummaging in her bag until she brought out her phone. I watched in silence, not caring that we were both late for class – something that seldom happened. Maddie tapped away on her phone for a few seconds before it was turned and pointed towards me. I gingerly held the phone up towards my face and looked down at the screen. A video was loading. I didn't have time to see the title or the views before it became full screen and played out before my eyes.

The hallways were empty now and Maddie watched me with silent concern as the dark, wobbly footage silently played. The video jerked to a stop and the repeat button stared back at me. I clicked it as Maddie hovered, sinking her teeth into her lip worriedly. I watched the video again, my mind closing and my heart contracting with fear. 

"Winona?" I heard Maddie say somewhere in the back of my mind.

There was a ringing in my ears – a harsh, continuous buzzing that relayed round and round in my head like a broken record. The phone almost slipped out of my hands as the video came to a stop once again. I passed the phone back to Maddie and stood there for a moment, my body sagging and my hand discreetly gripping the side of my locker door that was still wide open.

"Are you okay?" Maddie asked.

"I thought we were alone," I said. "I...I thought we were alone."

"It's fine," Maddie said. "It's going to be fine. Don't worry about it, okay? Things will blow over soon."

"Who knows?" I demanded.

Maddie looked down at the floor for a moment, a sigh dropping from her lips.

"Everyone, I suppose," she said. "It has enough views where everyone might have seen it, or at least heard of it in passing."

"Who posted it?"

Maddie shrugged helplessly. "No one knows. Just someone with an account that doesn't include their name."

I took in a deep breath and closed my locker door, turning and pressing my back to it. I slowly tilted my head back, thumping the back of my head against the door.

"Drew's gonna hate me," I said.

"I'm sure she's fine," Maddie said. "At least she's actually openly gay. This is mildly expected."

"I'm not gay," I said quickly.

Maddie looked at me strangely, her brows creasing into a frown. "Well then how do you explain the video...?"

"Just messing around," I shrugged heavily. "Nothing serious."

Maddie didn't look convinced, and if she wasn't, then no one else at school would be either. It wasn't like anyone needed more evidence than a video that showed me kissing another girl. There was no editing, there were no directing cues or starts or finishes. There was just a messy video taken with a phone behind a tree. Pure, genuine and painful. Nothing could rebuke it. Nothing I could say would make anything better. Nothing I could do would remove video evidence.

"You should go to class," I said, fiddling with the hem of my sweater and feeling the weight of my phone hold me down suddenly.

In my haze of contentment during last night and this morning, I had not even checked my phone. The silent notifications passed through and sat on my screen where they will now be, waiting with a little flashing light for me to scroll through them all with a heavy heart.

"Are you sure you don't need me to stay?" Maddie asked. "I could hang around for a bit longer."

I shook my head. "I'll be fine. I need to think for a bit...alone."

Maddie looked unsure but even just feeling her gaze on my face was making me uneasy. Too many eyes, too many looks, too many people – all looking at me. She reluctantly nodded and the relief that ran through me should have made me feel guilty. But there was nothing there. Just a lost and empty feeling of alienation. I couldn't even handle being with my own friend after knowing that when everyone looked at me on the bus and as I walked down the hall, they knew. All of them knew. And I – the one who was the subject of the conversation – was the last to know.

"Only if you're sure," Maddie said slowly.

I gave her a smile, my eyes stinging as I did so, and glanced down at the floor. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Just need time to take it all in."

"I get that," Maddie spoke softly.

Do you? I wanted to say. How could you possibly get any of this?

My lips stayed closed and I took a step back, watching Maddie walk past me and head out of the doors at the end of the hallway. I stayed at my locker for a few moments.

I knew that I should go to class and sit through whatever time was left. But the idea of sitting behind a desk, surrounded by people that knew was the last thing I wanted to do. I closed my locker door, sliding the lock back on and hiked my bag higher up on my shoulder.

I walked down the hallway, shoulders hunched and an unwavering, excessive panic taking hold of my mind.

_________________

Hey guys! Hope you all enjoyed this latest chapter, more to come soon!

- Tahlie x