Four

"Hey."

I looked up with interest as I walked down the hallway, only to look back down again. Drew was walking beside me, keeping up the pace even as I sped up.

"Hey," I answered shortly.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine, just trying to get to class," I said.

"You're avoiding me," Drew stated.

"How observant of you," I said.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Drew asked.

"Is that not obvious enough?"

We came to the end of the hallway and stopped in the empty stairwell. The second bell for class rang and I sighed. Now I would have to walk into the middle of class where everyone had the perfect chance to look directly at me.

"If this is about the video..." Drew said.

"Of course it's about the video," I snapped. "What else could it be about? It's always going to be about the video."

"I doubt anyone cares," Drew shrugged. "It's not weird anymore to be gay."

"I'm not gay," I said.

Drew raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes," I said firmly.

Drew sighed and walked over, leaning against the wall beside me. Her arm pressed against mine and the tension in my body faded a little.

"Why don't we hang out sometime?" Drew asked.

I looked up at her, surprise evident on my face. But then my eyes flickered over to the hallway I could see through the open doors. A hallway filled with people – people that had seen the video. People that would judge me.

People that would send anonymous messages.

I pushed away from the wall, gripping my binders tighter against my chest. I took a few steps away and looked at the wall opposite me, not letting my eyes catch Drew's.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said.

"Winona..." Drew frowned. "I thought you liked me."

"I'm sorry," I whispered and turned, rushing up the stairs towards my next class.

When I reached the room, everyone's eyes landed on me. I slowly shut the door and gave my teacher a sheepish look. I walked to the back of the class where I gingerly sat down and placed my binders gently on the table. I glanced at the boy beside me to try and see what he was doing but before I could read the title of the worksheet, he shifted away and moved his arm so it was blocking the paper.

I stared at the side of his face for a moment as my face fell. He didn't look at me and instead continued to make notes from the board, as if I wasn't even there. As if I wasn't worth the time of day. I leaned back in my seat, my hands in my lap and my heart in my throat.

***

Dropping my bag down on the couch, I walked towards the kitchen where the smell of chili was coming from. My dad stood in front of the stove and mixed the food in the large pan. He turned to see me coming towards him and smiled.

"Hey, how was school?"

I sighed, picturing the look on Drew's face and wrapped my arms around myself. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"That sounded reassuring," dad pointed out as he took a tray out of the oven.

"Just been a long day," I said.

"Everything okay?" he asked, placing the tray down and facing me.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, it's all fine. Just tired."

"Right," my dad nodded. "No problem. Maybe you should take a nap or something. The middle of the week is always the longest."

"Sure is," I mumbled. "You're right. I should go take a nap, it might help."

"Dinner will be done in an hour but I can always put a plate aside for you to heat up later."

"Thanks, dad," I smiled and turned on the heel of my foot.

I grabbed my bag on the way to my room and slipped my hand inside, taking my phone out. I climbed up the stairs quickly until I reached the landing and then moved towards my room, opening the door and walking inside. I threw my bag onto my bed and clutched my phone in my hand, my knuckles tensing as I did so.

I considered texting Maddie. She would know what to do. Or maybe I should have texted Becca, she would know what to do. Someone must know what to do. Nothing was happening but things felt like they were spiraling out of control.

I hated seeing that look on Drew's face but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't be near her right now. Not when the whole school was whispering about us behind our backs. Not when being near her would just cement what happened on that video further. A part of me was ashamed that avoiding Drew was the only option I felt like I had left. But the other part of me knew that there was nothing else I could do.

I didn't want any more messages.

As if that thought had sent across an alarm, my phone vibrated in my hand. My heart clenched. I lifted the phone up and stared at the screen, my breathing shaky and my hands shaking. I unlocked the phone and my body sagged in relief.

It was just Riley.

I clenched my eyes shut, putting a hand over my chest. This was getting ridiculous. I couldn't keep being terrified of my own phone. I couldn't freak out over every single message that appeared. Throwing the phone on my bed, I changed out of my jeans, putting something more comfortable on. I closed the blinds and lay down on top of my bed, my face crushed against the sheets.

A headache appeared out of nowhere and I let out a shaky breath, my eyes slowly closing as I let the exhaustion flow through. The day drained down on me and my eyes no longer wanted to open back up again. The room wasn't dark but it was enough. My fingers unclenched against the bedding and I relaxed.

Then my phone vibrated.

I opened my eyes, startled, and stared straight at my phone that lay beside me like a ticking time bomb. Reaching out towards my phone, I stopped midway. I should turn around and pretend it never vibrated. I should pretend that my phone isn't even there. I should look away, close my eyes and sleep.

But then it vibrated again.

I gulped. Lifting my body off the bed, I rested on my elbows and kept my eyes glued to the phone.

It vibrated once more.

Then again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

I surged forward, gripping the phone in my hand and pulled it towards my face. I unlocked the screen and stared down at the messages. One after another they came through – all from the unknown number from before.

My eyes skimmed over them all, shining back with bold words that cut through my skin. The air was knocked out of me. They were worse than the one from before. So much worse. I blinked and tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them and I didn't even bother to wipe the tears from my face.

My entire body tensed and panic ran through me alarmingly. I was at a loss. My phone nearly slipped out of my hands as I selected them all and hovered my finger over the 'delete' button. It will go away, I told myself.

I pressed down on the button and watched the messages slide away until they were no longer there.

It will go away.

__________________

Hope you enjoyed the fourth chapter! As always, leave your thoughts in the comments! 

- Tahlie x