After the riveting talk with Josh i couldn't help but notice the flawlessly unoriginal similarities of both girls in front of me. I didn't want to but it was already on my mind so i had to look.

it was like those fast commercials that snuck up on you at the last second that you had no choice but to look at. 

one of them- the tallest- had glossy platinum blonde curls exposing a pair of impeccable blue swarovski earrings that sparkled on both ears like champagne flute glasses and the other- a short brunet, was sporting bleached highlights and was dressed in the same manner wearing a nice fitted black skirt that showed off her legs even though we were knee deep in snow thanks to the practically year round winter season, stylish ballet flats covered her small feet, and a long sleeve prune colored cardigan showed off her shoulders, except this one had grey hearts on it whereas the blondes cardigan was teal with pretty -gag!- pink hearts.

Stark house may have had its rules but there wasn't a mandatory uniform restriction and the students could get away with a lot.

i wasn't interested in their conversation unlike some people who eavesdropped on others to gain juicy information they could spread.

i look away from the girlfriends and quickly find Toby tapping his pen on the desk looking utterly and completely bored.

he was probably frustrated that i was taking up his valuable time.

i was starting to know Toby as well as the dexterity in my right hand. any subtle incriminating cues would come a long way in finding out just what Toby and Wesley were arguing about on the quad.

of course i was all for pretending like nothing happened after the fight and everything was right side up in my world. all the while covertly finding any reason to eavesdrop on my new friends, of course. 

there was obviously something going on that involved Toby and the reason for all the super secretive meetings he'd had with Wesley and i was determined to find out what. 

both guys tried to act like they didn't know one another and it was especially obvious that Wesley detested Toby. of course kira knew but she wasn't telling me and i couldn't help but speculate how far the trios tie went.    

i return my attention forward and discovered the line was at a standstill.

curiosity getting the best of me i roll on the very tip of my shoes and stretch my neck like a flamingo up and over the blondes shoulder to see what the hold up was, and if they could hurry it up, only to find -surprise, surprise- majority of the sorority girls goofing off as if we were in San Francisco at a beauty expo or something.

Pff.

surprise, surprise.

i was stupefied that mr. baryo was not being due diligent on his way over to bust each and every student for playing around and preventing those who actually wanted to pass the semester from completing the assignment.

upon further examination i recognized a bunch of mundane items on the cabinet counter that i hadn't observed until now. they were objects that i needed to seize and clutch that had virtually nothing to do with the other.

firstly, there were coffee filters that were stacked high with no coffee machine anywhere that i could see which i thought to be highly unusual because why else would any person need coffee filters if not to make a batch of chocolate colored java.

Unless they didn't like the taste of joe. Pfft. they looked like tea drinking snobs if i'd ever been introduced to one.

and then i remembered why we were supposed to use the strips for. 

following a straight sweep across my eyes passed by some regular white paper plates, the kind my mom likes to buy from Costco, that were strewn around carelessly, and alongside the plates i noticed there were only a small number of samples remaining of the purple cabbage. 

The fundamental ingredient. The key to working through another lengthy ninety minutes of horticulture.

also, i mentally noted a white microwave plugged in the outlet next to the cabbage on the opposite side. we were to heat up the cabbage and from there use our handmade strips to detect soil pH. it should be easy enough.

i swallowed, a ball of anxiety going down my throat and into my constrained and tight chest. The amount of people in line did not match up to how many specimen discs were on the counter.

maybe mr. baryo forgot to double check. maybe he counted wrong and there were more hidden in the back tray of his mini refrigerator that he kept alongside his teachers desk.

"excuse you." Blondie, who's shoulder i was currently looking over, snaps at me. 

feeling weird about having gotten personal on accident i smile and move far and wide to generate what i perceived an acceptable amount of distance. One step, two step....five long steps. 

"sorry." i apologize even though she wasn't listening.

(FIVERR) xemmiiex

Blondie narrows her startlingly green eyes at me. She sneers down at me with irritation and extreme dislike. "i don't know." she mused haughtily with a smirk. "you seemed awfully happy just then standing so close to me like that. whatever." Blondie rolls her eyes and flicks her hand out as if she were swatting at a pesky fly.  

"honestly i could care less that your gay and curious, or whatever, but don't think everyone else is, got it? stay away from me you freak."

Blondie then turns around, throwing her long platinum silky hair behind her back, and whispers "what a creep" to her friend, the brunet with the highlights. they laugh and continue gossiping about me being "so obviously gay by the clothes i wore'.

one of the great things i loved about stark house was that i could wear sweatpants during the day without getting written up. stains and all.

danika stares at me curiously on her way by.

great.

now the whole school was going to think i had a lesbian crush on a person i never thought about twice. 

if danika didn't surely blondie and her brunet pal would blab to the whole school about me that involved 'picking out girls from behind and doing things to them'.

-things that i had never done with boys.

im not saying no one ever expressed their attraction to me.

i was pretty and if i'd put as much time into getting dressed as i did reading dark books then people would be more willing to do things like talk and get to know me, conversations i truly detested having. With mom and Doc I had to even if I wasn't in the mood to talk. 

despite what other people thought i was not some tease who got on by blowing people off. 

in fact, because of the lack of allure boys tended to generate i'd made the suspicion that i was asexual as i never once considered the possibility of reciprocating interest to go out and date.

whenever i wouldn't flirt back boys tended to move on pretty quickly and that would be a-okay with me.

mortified and desperate to get away I wait until the remaining crowd goes to their respected table so that i could avoid embarrassing myself any more than i did.

so far my non-existent existence at stark house wasn't going to plan. in fact, i seriously wondered if it were humanly possible to handle anymore shame and regret.

although at this point i seriously could not make up anything worse that could circuit about for all on campus.

briefly i considered what josh would have said in his defense but that didn't help because no situation was ever too outrageous for him to handle. whereas i stuttered and became frustrated.

once the coast was clear and the two girls left i quickly dragged my feet over to the counter where all of the supplies were strewn about in dissaray.

worried and afraid that i might not find everything i needed to, i scanned the items in front of me until i came upon what i wanted most.

no longer troubled by worst case scenario that ranged from the omnipresent which was a change in project due to the seemingly odd disappearance of case item number one, to the more repressed come in and spend lunch with the boy who hated my guts. None of which sounded best.

with haste and impressive enthusiasm i bypass the menial kitchen goods, plates and paper fillers, determined to pick those up last since i was more preoccupied about getting one of the two remaining petri dishes before they were all gone.

reaching over across the counter top i extend my of average sized fingers to hand select a circular dish with my name on it.

"im taking this one. you can have the other over there." 

i look up to see a guy with just brown hair and little red zits across his forehead as he swipes the sample that i was just about to get.

"uh. sorry, i didn't realize you....Ugghm. What i meant to say was..." perplexed and annoyed at not seeing the boy sooner, i repeatedly apologize to which he studiously ignores the unfinished pardon causing me to openly stare at the backside of his red cashmere sweater as nameless boy with severe acne walked away.

seriously? huh.

i laugh to myself. 

you'd think id be used to being ignored but the action always caught me off guard. 

the reality was even if i wasn't the new girl i'd still be a nobody to them. 

the ones who were interested in getting to know me still caused panic attacks, although they were far and between. 

not sure what to make of zit boy i grab the remaining dish with the cabbage in it and test my upper balance while stacking the paper plate and coffee filters both in arm.

crushed and beaten that i let my anxiety get the best of me i dejectedly walk back to my seat and put the stuff on the table with little enthusiasm. 

you'd think i'd be happy that Toby was practically finished with the paper and mr. baryo didn't run out of stupid cabbage.

"took you long enough." was tobys response.

well, great. there goes another critic.