--- *** ---

Timothy wore a plain, white taintless apron once he set foot in the kitchen, in order to make a mouth-watering lunch for Jude since the starvation was consuming her.

He opened the fridge by gathering the ingredients for the potato soup such as a couple of unpeeled potatoes, carrots, onions and bouillon as they were the top exceedingly required ingredients for the potato soup.

Despite the fact the former man of the cloth couldn't call himself a good cook, nevertheless, he knew essential recipes such as soups, green salads, cookies, pancakes, French toast and so forth. At least, his cooking knowledge was on a basic level and little did he know if his rare bird was going to approve even at least like the dish he was going to fix for her.

In the meanwhile, he turned on the radio by plugging its cable in the plug to listen to some entertaining, jubilant songs that were recently playing by distracting his attention from the gruesome memories of the sinister madness of Briarcliff and muting his guilty conscience which gnawed him for months.

"Somewhere beyond the sea somewhere waiting for me! My lover stands on golden sands and watches the ships that go sailin' somewhere beyond the sea! She's there watching for me!" Bobby Darin's song was recently playing on the retro radio.

When he realized what he lost as the most precious thing in the world was his rara avis his guilty conscience insanely, peculiarly drove him to insanity to discreetly imbibe alcohol in the darkest hours of the night after the patients were already gathered in their cells for extra good night sleep. The demon of boozing was another sin that was destroying him and breaking his vows for daring to gulp, even the weakest sip from the sinful, sweet, intoxicating beverage in the hallowed world of the ecclesiastical icons, the church and God.

 God's glaring, judgmental gawks were transfixed on him by observing how his servant to the church was breaking his vows remorselessly, bluntly by opting to numb his heinous deeds by taking the lives with his bare hands of two remarkably taintless and innocent souls like Shelley and Mary Eunice reckoning the Satan's, who once found his new home in the young nun's body by commanding her to do unbelievable, speechless things.

--- *** ---

--- Flashback ---

"I-I don't know If I am capable of living in a lie but," The priest was seating in old Jude's office as a bottle of communion wine sat motionlessly on the cherry wood bureau with an untouched empty glass for alcoholic beverages. His trembling hands which were coated in scars after the murderous Santa Claus not only tried to drown him in the altar of baptism but also harmed him, lowered for the glass and bottle. "I won't let the pain consume me anymore." A muttered whisper in the hollow echoed in the desolated, austere dim light office as his presence wasn't all alone. Demonic shadows of the sins and vices stalked him by scrutinizing in each corner of the austere office what he's willed to do to dull everything that hurt him.

When his mammoth, creamy hand met the flimsy bottle of communion wine by popping off its cap as if his hand caressed a newborn baby's soft satin head by pouring in the glass mouth-watering red wine until it peaked to the top of the glass. His mouth salivated to savor more than anything the alcoholic beverage that he might never touch, even risk his vows and career as a pious member of the clergy, whose solemn vows were far from insignificant for him to accomplish and pursue his goals.

As soon as he slammed the communion wine's bottle by sitting on the bureau slightly lurching, due to his physical strength, consequently, Timothy grabbed the glass by chugged the wine within seconds as if he hadn't drunk it for ages.

The last time the holy man drank communion wine was when he shared a remarkable Friday coq-au-vin night with his rara avis in the kitchen as he offered to pour her some red wine, despite her response of convincing him she renounced herself from drinking.

Afterward he poured a couple of more glasses of the sinful alcoholic beverage until he passed off on the bureau as his head whammed senselessly, recklessly. His eyelids were as heavy as stones by shutting by themselves as they were no longer capable of blinking, due to the fact the alcohol commanded his body, even succumbing him to be unconscious temporarily.

Hearing yet the rejoining echoes of God by gradually losing his devotional servant to the cloth, whose nemesis was obvious not only in his actions but also in his manners as well.

On the one hand, the alcohol would aid him to overcome his depression and grim thoughts by numbing their inner whispers in the hollow for a while until they emerge all over again and continue their relentless assaults. On the other hand, his remorses for locking up the love of his life were unspeakably sinister and haunting him.

--- *** ---

--- End of Flashback ---

--- Back to Nowadays ---

He was chopping the carrots, onions and the baked potatoes tinier, whereas the water and bullion were boiling in the saucepan by supervising them at times.

All of a sudden, the middle-aged woman came to her senses as her eyes partly opened by blinking, opting to gain her average vision, compared to the blurry one that occurred just seconds after opening them. Hazy images appeared like old Polaroid photos to her by surveying the surroundings around her until the quiet inhales of the slumbering baby caught her off guard, and she came to the conclusion she wasn't alone.

In the meanwhile, the blonde looked down at her baby boy by giving him a benevolent, doting smile, honed up in the corners of her rosy-coloured, dry lips as he was nestled peacefully in the crook of her neck, collecting the necessary nutrients for an infant. One of her hands reached up for his sparse chestnut hair by lightly fondling it, admiring its softness.

The former sister of the church had her own urgent needs, howsoever, shortly before getting from the bed and heading towards the en-suite bathroom to clean herself her crotch contracted, due to the accumulated urine in her lower abdomen, consequently she decided to spend a few more minutes after her nap which didn't last even for a quarter an hour to talk to the two-day-old ray of sunshine.

"Look at yarself, a sweet ray of sunshine! I am so happy to have you in my arms even when ya were in Mommy's tummy for straight nine months." A soft honeyed whisper lingered on her tongue by inhaling inwardly its alluring fragrance of baby soap and baby shampoo, ventilating her nostrils which once smelled the pungent stench of heavy medicaments, urine, poor hygiene and mold inside the old, grand, gradually demolishing asylum façade. The overcastted memories of these reeks were no longer disturbing her and the fetor smells that she mustered to inhale and exhale daily. Even more, the bedroom's scent of lilac perfume interweaved with the fragrance of baby soap and baby shampoo. "I love you so much, my Sunshine!"

In the interval, she pecked an affectionate, feather kiss on the top of her head by faintly rocking her into her secure arms shortly before laying her on the bed by unwrapping the blanket, getting from the bed and hopping up in comfy slippers by tucked up tightly the baby's clothed body in the blanket.

She got from the bed wobbling up to the en-suite bathroom stepped inside and cleaned herself within several seconds until she washed her hands, besides splashing some lukewarm water into her parchment, pale as ghost face. Her a tad drowsy, fatigued honey-brown orbs were transfixed on the mirror that hung over the marble sink, observing her double herself via the mirrored reflection. Certain rapid changes in her face and appearance were visible with a stark eye when she twisted the faucet by halting the running water via the sink.

For example, as she zoomed her face by keeping it closer to the mirror as its proximity diminished the gap between her facial skin and the cool glass as her drenched, sylphlike fingers traced her forehead by pushing away some stray silken golden curls which framed ideally her yet gorgeous complexion as the harrowing traces of scars from the electroshock therapy, which boiled her brains to bones as their start was above her elegant, subtle eyebrows by peaking under her scalp on both sides.

Sore scars from the electroshock therapy were not only distinctive from taking the heavy medicaments which she was enforced as another alternative to transform her into a mindless zombie with a lack of rationality in her decisions, statements and dynamic train of thoughts, but also driving her to insanity and the insanity, itself, produce one more victim of the doping or barbarous, abominable electroshock therapy. Namely a madwoman.

What was apparent behind her looks changed during the months of being locked up against her will along with being stripped of her ecclesiastical duties and pregnant with a love child, her face didn't look the same at all. Or that is rather how she might behold into her eyes, at least. A tad of wrinkles were naturally imprinted on her face as the middle-aged lady had aged a couple of years. She couldn't even remember how old she looked like the last time or at least, according to her whirlpool of thoughts. Judy Martin was eventually a middle-aged woman in her mid-forties especially forty-five-years-old.

Perhaps she thought she looked around forty years old the last time or that's how the thoughts' engines were functioning in her mind by frequently revising the brain cells with the recently scanned information. And now the blonde thought her appearance's real age was slightly her true age's senior.

Last but not least, even if Jude has drastically lost weight, nevertheless the pregnancy rescued her from being underweight by keeping her body weight's balance at an average level. Traces of stretch marks crept beneath her arms and legs' mossy, milky skin as a piece of evidence of the weight that she had lost back in the old days and the drastic weight gain during the pregnancy.

What the middle-aged mother felt was a-total disgust as she observed every single detail about her body and complexion, regardless if it was a minor or a major one. She could really tell her medium-sized breasts' roundness and firm shape which they once possessed as if she was an adolescent, they lost their elasticity as a mild limp poised them as they didn't seem ultimately round in shape at all.

That is how motherhood and being falsely locked up against your will patient affected her not only mentally, further, physically by far.

"Oh God! I look like a piece of garbage!" Her fingers, even hardly brushed the recently developing due to certain sleepless nights and assembled weariness of not collecting enough extra good night sleep hours or the immense stress. They were as dark as a black eye injury. The former holy woman even began wondering who she was contemplating and scrutinizing its facial features' person, whose double reflexion was maneuvering each motion of Judy as if she had an unrealistic twin of hers. In the meantime, a jaded, disgusted exhale was heaved from the top of her lungs.

That was what she was thinking of her looks and she couldn't put a finger on it as well. Little did she know what Timothy or the other men might think of her contemporary looks, shortly after she heals and recovers by gaining the moderate decibels and softness of her voice, besides some of the memories that were substantially eradicated might pop up somehow in the forthcoming future.

At that moment, a casual velvety yell emanated from the bedroom, which was linked with the bathroom by recognizing the voice, itself.

"Jude, the lunch is ready!" The former man of the cloth wondered where his rara avis fled as their baby son was another piece of evidence she wasn't in the room by setting the platter with her bowl of potato soup, glass of water and garlic bread on the right nightstand where laid. Lifeless silence arched in the sufficiently expansive bedroom which consumed the former devotional member of the church. He commenced to search for her around the room without a result. "Where are you?"

The older woman's stomach growled once she heard his announcement as the lunch was already ready by lowering her hand to her small belly, rubbing it with her fingers, in order to alleviate its tension. Meantime she pursed reluctantly her lips until he heard Timothy baby talking to Edward.

"Awww, hi there, a little ray of sunshine!" After the search, the former priest found his son blanketed in a blanket by lifting him at ease by swinging him into his protective, strong arms, peppering his cheeks with tender kisses as Edward's eyelids opened by darting them to his father's chocolate brown orbs, which he found them certainly for soothing whenever the loneliness was consuming and distressing him. "Daddy got you! Have you ever wondered where your Mommy is?" Meanwhile, the young boy pointed with a forefinger directly at the bathroom door until the bathroom door squeaked as Jude was walking away from it by shutting the door behind her.

A reassuringly optimistic smile crawled on the younger man's face at the sight of his right hand's return as his heart molted to behold her again, although he knew right away her mild hostility towards him for his betrayal.

"Look at your Mommy! She's back!"

"Oh! How sweet to see both of ya together," What astounded Timothy was Jude's peculiar kindness as a smile spread across her lips once she saw their son in her former lover's arms. The platter with her lunch wasn't noted by her yet as she extended her hand to caress her baby son's cheeks, admiring its beauty. "Just look at ya, Edward! You're the most beautiful baby I've ever seen!" She hoarsely, and softly chuckled as Timothy joined her.

"I can't disagree! That is indeed the most beautiful baby in this world. I am sure somebody is urgently peckish." The former holy man alluded as the older lady's heart leaped at last by peeping down at the right nightstand, noting the tray with her lunch and glass of water that she longed to consume.

"Mhm! I am for sure."

Thereafter, she ambled up to the king-sized bed back by unwrapping the blanket readjusting its sheets and placing the tray on her lap as she took a seating position in the bed by commencing to assault her dish by chugging her glass of water promptly, whereas her other hand lowered to the silverware spoon by guzzling the potato soup and the slice of garlic bread.Edward whimpered in his father's arms as the both males' as he longed to be with his mother though Timothy was his last hope if Jude wasn't there otherwise. The former nun was cherishing the lunch moment by eating and drinking in silence without any further disturbance. Little did she know how long it had been since such a scrumptious, warm and kindhearted meal had chewed.

The last time, when a mouth-watering dish was being consumed by her was actually once-a-week coq-au-vin dinners she shared with her former boss. One Friday coq-au-vin night, shortly after having dinner, it was Timothy who gave his virtue to the love of life as she was being impregnated by him though she thought she was either allergic or her health condition was aggravating, due to the poor hygiene, urine, and heavy medicaments as their reeks were nauseous for her sensitive nose.

"Shu, shu, shu, Edward! Sweetie, your Mommy is eating and soon she will be able to feed you too! Just be patient a little more." He rocked their love child, attempting to alleviate him as his high-pitched cries and whimpers subdued as if they had never zinged his baby-pinkish lips. Edward meekly, obediently didn't utter a single syllable even make a taunting sound.

Howsoever, the former member of the clergy tried to not admire as much as his former lover's ethereal, endless beauty which she possessed though his warm chocolate brown pools were pierced into her, admiring her halo, angelic ringlet of old Hollywood honey curls which cascaded down her shoulders by framing perfectly her complexion.

Additionally, he thought his old, scarcely worn shirt she looked fine on her figure by outlining the curve of her slightly limp breasts, and her shoulders. Meanwhile, unholy thoughts swam in his mind at the thought of his former lover wearing his old, almost unworn shirt as he had already seen her full body image in this piece of garment.

As soon as Jude finished her lunch by setting the tray with emptied dishes on the nightstand by wiping her damp, gummy mouth with the back of her elvish, surprisingly warm hand, suddenly her honey brown orbs glimpsed up into an outdated calendar which hung over the dressing table as the sole details she can see were a few numbers only, questioning her what day it was since it has been a long time since the former promiscuous jazz nightclub singer acknowledged what day it was today.

The last time the calendar dates were well-known to her was when she was Leigh's essential target as it was Christmas then.

"Did you like the lunch?"

"Mhm! It was undeniably delicious." A relieved smile distorted across his berry-coloured lips as she complimented him, admiring his cooking skills though his self-criticism when it comes up to cooking was obnoxiously oblivious for her. His pride was already lit up as its flare ignited in his soul, illuminating the lighter, saturating side of his character which was particularly known for her and fewer people only. Probably his true side which wasn't concealing any detail of his leery manners and demeanor. Unmasking him. Exposing his real face. "The day is 27th of,"What she beheld in the corner of her eyes by scanning the calendar's day, Timothy cut her off in her mid-sentence which abided unfinished.

"It is 22nd of September 1965!" He replied as the middle-aged lady exhaled sharply as Timothy handed her Edward by taking with himself the tray of emptied bowl and glass, beside the filthy and used silverware spoon. "Relax!" That was the last word, which he murmured just seconds before slamming the bedroom door by walking away from their bedroom.

Eventually, the former man of the cloth was genuinely concerned for Jude and their baby as he hankered more than anything to behold Jude fresh and relaxed by taking a break from the encumbering pressure that she had been through for months and weeks.

Afterward another light, loving kiss scooped the little boy's cheek as his mother was undoing the old shirt's buttons, in order to breastfeed him with her solely free hand. At this moment, Edward followed his mother's swift motion of unbuttoning the attire in the corner of his inquisitive hazel irises. 

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Author's Note: Of course, the hallowed atonement Jude and Timothy are actually aiming up to isn't going to be a child's play at all! 

✞ Do you prefer Jude or Timothy's character, in spite of the lacking tribulations we have beheld them in the first four chapters?✞

✞  For all Nunsignor shippers! Have you ever imagined the pairing with have their own one of a kind, sweet ray of sunshine? If yes or no, why?  ✞

✞ Don't be shy and feel free to leave your honest feedbacks! ✞