23rd November, 2015

With college running in full swing, I hardly have any time to write, so kindly excuse the lack of activity on my part. Moving on, I hope you like the chapter and would love to hear your opinions in sha Allah! :)

"Whoever has the gate of du'aa' opened to him, has the gates of mercy opened to him. Allaah is never asked for anything that He gives which is more beloved to Him than being asked for good health and well-being. Du'aa' is beneficial with regard to what has been decreed and what has not been decreed. So, O slaves of Allaah, you must make du'aa'."

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3548)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Nothing can change the Divine decree except du'aa'."

(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/677; Ibn Maajah)

Chapter 19:

The Piercing Rays of Light

"A little towards the left, no, no, move it an inch towards the right. No! That's too much, one inch to the left. Wait-"

"Tabasum!" Dina and Simran groaned together as they put the table down and turned to glare at their friend who was grinning sheepishly.

"What? I was just trying to get it right in the middle," she defended innocently.

"I'm sorry I forgot you lack the sense of space, I'll give you the directions and you help Simran place the table," Dina answered and took Tabasum's place.

"My sense of space and direction is just fine," Tabasum grunmbled.

"And that's exactly why a year back you slammed against a glass door of the showroom, for the simple reason that you didn't see the door right in front of your face!" Simran grinned.

"Oh I remember that! That was, by all means, one of the most embarrassing moments of my life," Dina mused. "To be spotted with a friend who bangs against a door and bumps her head, and then starts shouting at the door, isn't cool."

"It wasn't my fault! The door just happened to be there out of nowhere!"

Dina and Simran laughed at Tabasum's clumsy moments while the other one grumbled. It had been two hours since they were together and the apartment was slightly tidier than it had been. Bilal had helped with a lot of heavy lifting in the past days, and while all the furniture was delivered and most of it was even strategically placed in the apartment, Dina had called over her two friends to help her out after work, so she could place all her clothes in the wardrobe and set up the kitchen and pantry.

"I still think you should place the rocking chair to the left of the couch, it'll give the house a fuller look," Simran suggested once she had placed the vase on the side table.

"I thought so too, but, well, let's just say, Bilal won and I agreed to leave it by the balcony," Dina replied, her face reddening as she thought back to their discussion.

Setting up an apartment was definitely a fun chore as Bilal and Dina got more time to bond together and in the process, they even discovered few of their likes and dislikes. While Bilal mostly agreed to Dina's choice of placing the furniture, he was quite adamant on leaving the rocking chair by the balcony. Although Dina reasoned the piece of furniture blended well with the couches and must be left somewhere beside them, Bilal argued it was perfect where it was, as one could see the view from the balcony while being seated on it.

To reach a decision, Dina had suggested they play a game and the winner gets to have the ultimate say, and while she pondered on which game to play, Bilal, much to her surprise, had shouted, 'Race to the bed' and made a run to the bedroom. By the time Dina had even registered what was going on and then finally walked ahead, Bilal was lying on the mattress, laughing at the expression on his wife's face.

She had looked at him questioningly, but he laughed and pulled her on the bed with him, and before she could call him a cheater, he had already distracted her.

Well, that apart, the fact of the matter was, Bilal had gotten his way!

"Earth to, new bride!"

Dina blinked and was brought back to reality when Tabasum snapped her finger in front of her face and Simran grinned mischievously.

"Three more hours and you'll be with your beloved hubby, darling! No need to go in the dreamland already," Simran teased and Dina shook her head at her friend.

"Don't you guys have to pray Asr?" She questioned instead.

"I almost forgot!" Tabasum sighed tiredly and walked towards the bathroom to make wudu.

"In sha Allah, you guys can move in tonight," Simran said a few seconds later as Dina placed the cutlery in the shelves.

"It's going to be a surprise for him when he walks in to find the house set in sha Allah," Dina said excitedly.

"Does he know you guys aren't staying the night at his parents' place?"

"He doesn't, and his mom hasn't told him. He still thinks the house is quite messy and we'll need another day to perfect it, that's exactly why I want to surprise him!"

Dina was excited to put her plan into action, and she couldn't wait to have Bilal home with her already. Simran and Tabasum had been of great help in finishing the finer details, and after their apartment was set up just like they wished, Dina was planning on making dinner for him, all by herself.

"I'm so glad to see you this way!" Dina looked at Simran as she said that, slightly taken aback, and she was all the more surprised when Simran flung her arms and wrapped her in a hug. "May Allah keep you this happy till eternity!"

"Thank you, Simran, and may He grant every person such happiness," she whispered.

"Aameen."

"I'm done! Simran you can go make wudu, Dina I assume this suggestion is not applicable to you," Tabasum said as she stepped out of the bathroom just as the two friends broke from their hug.

"Last day!" Dina nodded.

"First day!" Simran grinned, while Tabasum rolled her eyes at the coincidence and grabbing a prayer mat, asked, "Which side is the Qiblah?"

"To your right!" Dina answered.

"Are you sure?" Tabasum questioned skeptically. "You haven't prayed here, so-'

"I've seen Bilal pray here, Tabasum, enough of questions, go read Asr!" Dina chided while the friend raised her hands in surrender and walked ahead.

An hour later, the friends bid her goodbye and Dina hurried to the kitchen, busying herself in making chicken spaghetti and chocolate mousse. While setting the timer of the oven, she rechecked the lock of the door and spent ten minutes in choosing a dress, ultimately settling for a short black frilled dress. It took her half an hour to shower, the next twenty minutes were spent in praying Isha, and the next few minutes after Salah were spent in dressing up as she waited for Bilal while setting up the table. When the clock struck nine, and there was still no sign of Bilal, she grabbed her phone and dialed the number which was permanently saved in her contacts.

"Assalamu alikum."

"Wa alaikum as salaam wa rahmatullah. Yes, Dina, I know you miss your husband and he too can't wait to come home to you, but alas, the terrible traffic is the cause for our separation, love!"

Dina giggled at Bilal's tone and replied, "I just wanted to know if you're ok. Besides, I'm making sure you don't end up going to mum's place, since I'm at the apartment."

"Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"But what are you doing there all by yourself? Why aren't you with Naila?"

"I'm just... Well, you come home to see for yourself!"

"Alright. I did call you a few minutes back to inform you about the delay, but you didn't answer."

"Oh I was praying, so must have missed it."

There were a few beats of silence before Bilal cleared his throat and said, "Oh! Alright! In sha Allah, I'll be there as soon as possible."

"In sha Allah," Dina murmured while she dropped the phone on the couch, moving ahead to set the table.

After fifteen minutes, the doorbell finally rang and Dina contemplated on hurrying to put on a shrug, but eventually just went on to answer the door. As Bilal stepped in, he was met with a multitude of surprises. First, it was Dina. Then, it was the apartment. And finally, it was the food.

"I still can't believe you managed to do this all by yourself!" Bilal spoke while munching on the spaghetti that had turned out quite well.

"Simran and Tabasum helped me," Dina smiled modestly.

"But that doesn't make you less awesome!"

"I'm nothing all that great!"

"But you're great in my eyes!"

"That just means you give me more credit than I deserve."

"But what if I genuinely think you are worthy of all the praise I have in store for you?"

Dina didn't reply to that, and resorted to staring at the coaster and not meeting Bilal's eye.

She honestly found it more difficult to handle a compliment than an insult and it wasn't even funny!

"Dina?"

"Yes?"

"Look at me."

She stopped twirling the fork and met Bilal's eyes, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze.

"There's no harm in accepting a compliment, you know? I find you the most beautiful woman on planet, and nothing can change that opinion of mine. So you might as well get used to my views, dear wife, for I'm not about to let you think otherwise, you hear me?"

Dina blushed and looked down, hoping that her hair would cascade her cheeks which were on fire.

While she knew there were a lot more women who may surpass her in terms of appearance, her husband called her beautiful and nothing else truly mattered to her anymore.

"Wow! You do blush a lot!"

"You're making me nervous," she defended meekly and Bilal laughed.

"Just calling you beautiful makes you nervous? Oh wow!" He mused and she took a bite of the dessert, hoping to calm herself.

"You're beardiful," she finally said with a small smile and Bilal threw his head back and laughed at the supposed compliment.

"I know right? Sometimes, I look at my beard and I'm like, ma sha Allah, I'd marry myself!"

It was Dina's turn to laugh now and she replied, "But you don't get to marry yourself since you're already married to me!"

"Oh someone's jealous," Bilal teased in a silly tone and Dina shook her head at him.

"Why would I be jealous of your beard?"

"Because I really like my beard?"

"And I like your beard and I like you, so on the whole, it doesn't make a difference," Dina explained but literally bit her tongue when the surprised look Bilal sported made her realize what she said.

"Did I just hear a confession?"

Fighting the blush, Dina hurriedly got up and gathered the dishes as she walked to the sink. Bilal helped her clean the little mess, an amused smile playing on his lips the entire time. When he had arranged the last of the dishes in the rack while Dina turned off the kitchen lights, he held her hand and turned her to him.

"Want to hear a confession from me?" He asked, holding Dina in front of him and kissing her forehead.

"I like you too."

And with that, he surprised Dina as he carried her in his arms and stepped into their room, the darkness of the night doing nothing to hide the redness of her cheeks.

There was a time when darkness was her friend, but now, light had become her companion. She may have suffered, she may have cried, but now, he was the reason for all her smiles.

***

Simran gripped the steering wheel and let the tear slide on her cheek. After returning from Dina's place, she had accepted the unexpected and impromptu request of a bakery to make a wedding cake in less than two hours for the head chef was on vacation and they had already taken the order. Now, as she was done with fulfilling it and drove back home, she almost missed the previous hours that had gone with her on her toes. This was the case with her the past few days, she hated moments alone for her mind wandered to chambers she'd rather prefer being locked.

It wouldn't do justice if she said she was delighted to see Dina happy, she had surpassed all limits of ecstacy for her friend. Dina had seen quite a lot in her life and alhamdulilah, life was finally treating her well, and Simran couldn't go a moment without making dua for her.

However, at the same time, it hurt her in a way which was beyond any explanation. She wanted a life like this, since she was a teenager she had dreamt of spending a happy life with a nice man, and it pained her to know it wasn't possible anymore. Simran had passed her teenage years and while she did not stay in a world of fantasy, imagining marriage to be a bed of roses, it still felt like a knife was being stabbed in her chest every time she thought of Asif and the future they couldn't have.

She had quit thinking of him, but she didn't know if she should appreciate or regret the spark of hope that refused to die.

There was no way her mom would change her decision and there was no way Simran would marry a man while disappointing her mum. In short, it was a lost case.

She wiped away another tear that managed to escape at the thought and taking a deep breath, she commanded herself to stay strong. If he was meant for her, Allah wouldn't send him elsewhere, and she believed completely in the divine decree, whist she also believed in the power of dua, which could alter the Divine Decree, by Allah's will and permission.

She loved the relief belief in Allah provided, and as she turned a corner with renewed faith, she slammed on the brakes. In front of her was a bike that was toppled on the road and beside him was its rider who lay in a pool of blood. She contemplated for all but one second and putting behind any thoughts of fraud people who pull these strings, she hurried outside to offer help.

She got out from the car, looking around to find no one on the streets with the rain coming down in sheets and when she stepped in front of the person, she gasped.

And her eyes fell on the one person who had, unknowingly, caused enough grief to her heart; she didn't need more by seeing him like this.

"Asif!" She screeched and he rolled his eyes for he wasn't able to adjust the bright light from the lamppost, his head shaking form the dizziness as he finally managed to sit up. "Oh my God! What happened to you! We need to get you to the hospital."

Asif wasn't really sure of anything at this point, the warm blood trickled down his shirt and it felt like his head was going to burst. However, when he registered it was Simran who was in front, he kept staring at her, as if he was seeing her for the first and last time.

He didn't even realize, but he wasn't capable of sitting up on the road and just as he was about to fall back down, Simran hurriedly caught his arm, kneeling beside him on the muddy road.

"Asif, you need to help me get you to the car, you hear me? Asif?" She called, as she held him upright.

"Yeah."

Acting in the moment and since it was a matter of life and death, she didn't think much and draped his arm around her shoulder and struggled to cover the distance with most of his weight on her.

"Asif, please, please, talk to me, you need to stay awake," she begged once he was strapped inside and she drove as fast as she could.

"I'm fine, Simran. Please, stop worrying. You can't be worrying for someone who shouldn't mean anything to you," Asif whispered and as she turned to look at him, their gaze met for all but one second before he fell unconscious, contradicting his statement and leaving the poor girl to deal with the situation all by herself.

Simran didn't know how she managed to drive for the next ten minutes, she wasn't aware how she managed to shout for a nurse and stretcher, and she still wasn't sure how she was surviving the ordeal.

As she waited outside for Tabasum and her family, her cream Abaya blotched with stains of his blood, she understood what it meant to encounter a situation where you were so close to losing someone who meant more than you could possibly imagine. She buried her face in her hands, forcing herself to stay optimistic. And she had just taken in two deep breaths when her phone rang.

"Third floor, ICU," she answered Tabasum and soon enough, her entire family was here.

Asif's mom, the lady who was almost never seen without her signature smile, had unshed tears in her eyes and worry lines covered her forehead. As Simran composed herself, and explained the incident, she hugged her for just being there for her son. Tabasum, who was shaking from fear, shook her head when Simran held her hand.

"I'm so scared," she whispered.

"He's going to be fine in sha Allah, don't worry," Simran consoled.

"Simran, don't you need to go home? You've done enough for us, sweetheart, you must go home and rest. Besides, your parents would be worried for you."

Simran looked at Asif's mom and was about to protest but quickly bit her tongue. What exactly was she supposed to say? She couldn't possibly tell them she wanted to stay here as long as it would take, just to be sure that Asif was out of danger. No one did this for their friend's brother and while she could offer to stay for Tabasum's sake, she still couldn't come up with an excuse that would allow her to be here as long as she wished.

"Alright, Aunty. Please call me if there's anything. And do take care of yourself, Allah is Malik-al-Mulk, The Owner of all, and in sha Allah, everything will be fine. Assalamu alaikum."

She hugged her and then went on to hug Tabasum, and after wiping a tear that trailed her friend's cheek, she hurried to her car.

Up until now, she had maintained a calm exterior, practically giving hope to Asif's family and acknowledging their grief. But the minute she had slammed the door of her car and was buckled inside, she turned to look at the passenger seat which still contained Asif's blood stains and that is all it took to shatter her strong facade.

She covered her mouth as she broke into sobs, all her vulnerabilities resurfacing. She was scared, so scared that each agonizing moment felt like it had a calamity to offer.

As she clutched the steering wheel and rested her head against it, the tears still escaping, she regarded this as the most terrifying night. All this while she was being the one healing others' wounds, when in actuality, she too had scars that were ripped open this evening.

She had never felt this vulnerable and weak, so helpless and fragile.

As Simran turned the keys in the ignition, she stopped the car from going forward for she remembered Asif's words and it stirred a hundred emotions in her, her eyes filling with a fresh set of tears and her mind killing her with all the over thinking she was doing.

You can't be worrying for someone who shouldn't mean anything to you.

Only if he'd know that you didn't have it in your control to not care! As his statement revolved around her brain, in that moment, she had one thought at the back of her mind.

You don't know how badly you want something until you're at the brink of losing it.