«trick as old as time»

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LISSA BREKKER HAS HER FEARS. She's always had them — life without fear would be like a life without breathing for her, it simply would not exist. She would always be scared, nothing could stop that, but the trick she uses is — fake it. When people talk about the Devileyes on the street, they don't see Lissa Brekker, the scared little girl she's always been, no, they see Devileyes and Devileyes only, because Lissa will not let them see anyone else, her fury, her need for vengeance step forward as her fear backs away. Lissa's doing the same right now, for this mission — they wouldn't be in need of Lissa Brekker, only Devileyes.

"The Skiff is still here, travelers downstairs are complaining, they were due to cross this morning," says Inej as Lissa packs herself with daggers and a single gun that Jesper had gotten her as a gift, it was a small but with the right aim and the right shot, it could do wonders, or at least that's what Jesper said.

"Orders from the Black General, he plans to cross on it tomorrow," Kaz said to them, his papers laid out in front of him along with a cup of coffee.

"He's probably too busy turning his grisha into slaves..." Lissa muttered darkly, rolling her eyes — the summoner being held against her will doesn't sound so great to her, and yeah, they were planning to kidnap her, but it would've been purely for greed — who knows what the general wants to do with her?

"Hold on, the Black General?" Jesper said looking around, "You mean the same General who tried to, oh, yeah, kill us all?" he asked, his tone dripping with disbelief, "That one?"

"Don't blow this out of proportion, almost everyone in Ketterdam has tried to kill us all," Lissa slid into a chair, taking a sip of her own coffee — it went down her throat easily now, seeing as she'd drank more coffee than she had water on this trip, "We don't get so cautious there, do we?"

"That's different," Kaz said, "And you should be more cautious, perhaps then you wouldn't have had a stab wound," he gave a pointed glare to which she grinned, he looked away with exhaustion, "The Black General has the sun summoner."

"Was this your plan all along?" Inej asked and Lissa rolled her eyes, "To have the general take her so you can get her back again?"

"That's what our plan was, Inej, yes," Lissa said pointedly, shutting up when Kaz passed her yet another glare.

"My plan is to get us across the fold," Kaz said, both his hands wrapped around the head of his cane as he spoke the next few words with caution, warning off everyone, "We aren't prepared for another fight."

"So, you're telling me you're not going to take another run at Alina?" Inej asked, her voice wavering with anger.

"Whatever we do, Inej, it's become clear that you won't be a part of it, clearly a girl with summoning powers is more important to you than we are. She's more important than your freedom is to you." Lissa spoke, granted the choice between Maya and Alina she would choose Maya a thousand times over, and without any regrets, "I mean—"

"Liz, that's enough!" Kaz spoke, his voice clear as Lissa scoffed and walked out of the room, Jesper moved to follow her as Inej stood there teary eyed, "Let her be."

AT THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT, Lissa Brekker walked behind her brother and her kind-of brother, her feet as silent as her eyes as she slowly got into her position, from where Inej was at the balcony, it would be a hard shot to make that dart hit the side of the guard's neck, but that's where Lissa came in with her magic tricks, all of them were in position, Inej blew the dart, Lissa gave a strong wind to it, adding to it's momentum, it hit the side of the guard's neck and Kaz and Jesper successfully knocked both of them out. Lissa sauntered over, an uninterested look on her face as she accidentally stepped on one of the guard's hands.

"Are you two going to help?" Jesper asked as he struggled with the bodies, Kaz simply showed him the head of his cane, and so Jesper looked at Lissa who widened her eyes comically.

"You would dare ask a child to do your dirty work?" she asked, hand on her heart, as she made tutting noises.

"Uh huh," Jesper said annoyed, "Well, isn't that convenient for you two..."

They walk back into their rooms where Jesper is staring at himself in the mirror and Lissa is still busy fiddling with her arms and stretching out at awkward angles because of all the places she got hurt — curse the girl with those incredibly beautiful eyes. She walks into the bathroom, lifting up her shirt to see the damage — and ouch, I mean, she doesn't even know how it's turning all blue, was the squaller girl that strong, perhaps Lissa would ask Maya to teach her that instead next time. She doesn't quite know how to treat those, so she just wraps bandage around them — for support. Lissa sighs, they'd screwed this up, Maya would not be freed of that sick woman's claws and Lissa would not get to see the look on her friend's face as she told her the news, no, as she slammed the money on Tante Heleen's desk and and walked away with Maya.

This is how the world was, nothing ever truly worked for you if you were Lissa Brekker. This is why her brother had always told her that hope is poison.

GETTING TO THE SHIP HADN'T BEEN HARD, to Lissa and the rest of the crew's surprise, with an almost empty stomach that only had coffee in it, along with some stale bread — really not the strongest she's felt in her life. Jesper still looked bruised from the comment the man had made earlier, and no one bothered to say anything else to him, it was necessary for his ego to get knocked down every once in a while, the three of them were just glad they weren't the one who had to do it. Lissa felt something terrible in the air, it was obvious they weren't getting out of here unscathed. Perhaps this is the day Lissa Rietveld comes forward again, Lissa Brekker holds Devileyes back, and she gets to see Jordie again.

What would she say to him? How do you explain to your brother all the things you did to him? Lissa released a breath, it's certainly ambitious of her to think that she'd end up the same place as her eldest brother, if there was some place to be after death, anyway.

If you die today, walk it off. You can't explain what you've become to your brother and your Da.

The journey frightened Lissa more than she liked to admit, she knew that the new sun summoner's presence changed a lot of things, but she still wasn't sure if a girl around Lissa's age would be able to bear a burden that heavy. These were confusing times.

There are certain rules to having emotions — especially if you happen to be a woman, you can't be too sensitive, you're a crybaby if you are, but you cannot be not sensitive either, because then you deprave men of their chance to swoop in and help the 'damsel', what a bunch of bullshit, isn't it? Well, Lissa Brekker didn't care for all of that, she hated men, she doesn't care for whatever they think she should be, she worked on her own terms — Lissa had only one rule for emotions, hiding them was not the solution, no, but fostering them was. Emotions are meant to be coddled, they are meant to be held at bay, let out only when the time is right, in moments of distress, though it may get harder to be able to hold them back...Lissa was no stranger to emotions, they were her trade after all weren't they? When the people in the streets of Ketterdam saw Lissa Brekker — they saw a seventeen year old girl cowering under the protection of her older brother, she knew the way they thought, but when they saw Devileyes they might as well jump off a cliff and into the grave dug for them, there would be no fighting, if Devileyes wanted something she'd get it, no matter what it took.

"Good news," Lissa heard Jesper say from where she was leaning on a railing, all of them were behind the ship — the rich liked to be in front, they wanted the attention, they wanted to see the miracle that would take place in front of them, or at least they think it will, "It's just as terrifying as I remember."

"Except this time we're going in completely exposed." Inej said to all of them. Lissa straightened up — the fold was genuinely one of the scariest things she's ever seen, but there was also some unusual beauty about it, and how it was held at bay — never bleeding from the corners. Lissa understands now why that painting must be worth a lot.

"I wouldn't say that," Lissa said, "The last time we didn't have the strongest members of the second army on board..."

"If I'm meant to die today, and either of you two survive," Jesper said, his voice wavering with obvious fear that he didn't bother hiding, "Make sure I have an open casket."

"Ooh, me too," Lissa said, her voice unbothered, "Make sure you pry my eyes open — I want to scare people as I go und—"

"No one's dying today." Kaz said, his tone so determined one might think he would pull anyone from the brink of death, and then lecture them about stupidity, knowing Kaz Brekker it wouldn't be too surprising, "No mourners."

"No funerals." the three of them uttered under their breath. It had started off a joke, soon becoming a tradition amongst the Dregs, but it always more than that — a dark wink to the fact that if any of them died there would be no one there to bury them, to hold them as they weep, no one to mourn their death.

The next time they hear the Volcras, the noise is much louder and much closer than the time before, Lissa is separated from the group — walking around, it might be because she's nervous — but no one had to see that. It should baffle a normal human being to see a fourteen year old walking around with such confidence under these circumstances, and it does — Malyen Oretsev looks absolutely confused.

"Hi," Lissa said, a grin on her face as she sneaks up behind Malyen, he didn't understand it — he had his eyes on her just a few seconds ago! How was this possible, "What brings you here, Lovely?" Mal sighs, accepting his fate as the older girl motions for him to get up.

"Liz, what—" Kaz, Jesper and Inej looked at her, the seventeen year old nudged the boy forward — a knife to his back and a smile on her face, "Who are you?" Jesper asked, he looked more annoyed than he did afraid.

"A stowaway, I presume, one of us," Lissa said with a shrug.

"Why pick this of all skiffs?" Inej asks him, not wasting a second, Mal looks hesitant but then he realizes the knife in his back is digging deeper.

"To kill the General, and save Alina," Mal said, his expression cautious — he looks back at the girl behind him, to his offense, she was yawning. Yawning.

What? Lissa's sleep schedule has been completely messed up the last week, it wasn't her fault sleep called to her no matter where she was.

"Mm-mm," Lissa said to him, patting his back as she moves to his front instead, "I don't think that's what she asked, come on, tell us, it's not like we can do anything, we might just die here with you..."

Mal almost has the urge to take the girl in, to rid her of everything in this world that made her like this, but he understood that being this way during times like these was probably the best for her, "Malyen Oretsev."

Lissa smiles, seems like they gained yet another gem.

THE NEXT TIME LISSA SEES INEJ IS WHEN SHE'S BEING CHOKED OUT. Lissa rolls her eyes, coming up behind the man with silent feet as she slits his throat, the blood drips on Inej's face but she sits up gratefully passing a look to Lissa, "What do you have against us, Wraith, it might actually do you some good to listen to us, you know." Lissa said, passing a hand to the Suli girl on the floor. She looks up, those terrifying blue eyes glance back at her and she's immediately jumped into a protective stance, "Hey, hey, no squeezing my windpipes right now, we're all busy, aren't we?"

"I understand, there's always after whatever the hell happens." Zoya said, a small smirk on her face as Lissa furrows her brows.

One of the Grisha soldiers moves to advance on Zoya as she moves the skiff, and Jesper shoots at him — Lissa isn't in the clear to see what's happening, all she knows is that the Herectic is moving forward with a deathly look in his eyes, Inej throws her knife at him, and he takes it out — as if it's a regular occurrence for him, and it might as well be, he does seem to be particularly infuriating. Lissa then does something very stupid, something Kaz clearly warned her against, she pushes her hands together and concentrates on doing what Zoya had done to her that day, slowly, she can see the Darkling unable to move — he stares back at her, a whisper coming out of his own mouth, "You stay in the dark." he says before using his own hands and soon they're all covered with the darkness.

Lissa sighs, she can't wait to get home and drink some hot chocolate, get a nice warm meal, maybe even eat one of the plums that she bought — she doesn't even like plums all that much, but she's willing to do anything now that she's almost died a thousand times on this trip.

"Zoya! Zoya!" Inej says to the girl laying on the ground, Lissa looks around unsure of what to do, how to get them out of there when a Volcra makes it's way over to them, she sees Inej try to fight it off before her brother makes his way there, hitting it with his cane and watching as Lissa uses her powers to quite literally crush it.

"Can we bring one of these back as pets?" Lissa asks her brother, "They sure do shut people up."

"If we get out of here I might just consider it." Kaz said.

"Zoya..." Lissa sits near the girl, nudging her, trying to wake her up, "Zoya, hey, come on, this is not the time for your beauty sleep!" Lissa heard a few gunshots, good, Jesper was awake.

All of them move away from the shadows leaving Lissa behind with Zoya, she brought her hands together and pushed the air behind them when it seemed like Zoya wasn't waking up any time before, and when Zoya wakes up she finds her work already done — she wasn't wrong about her, Lissa Brekker would be happily received by the Ravkan Second Army if she does decide to join them.

It's a tiring journey to isolation for them, walking somewhere they wouldn't be noticed — Lissa almost falls asleep standing...and moving her legs, it's quite unusual. They create a fire, all warming up and letting the events that happened soak in. Lissa is an unusual amount of tired — this was the first time she'd used her powers at such a huge scale, she'd never even used her powers to push a crate, much less a whole ship...she wonders how she did it, but leaves the matter alone — perhaps the danger of death kept her so strong.

"Your display today was...agreeable." Zoya says to the younger girl who's sitting right beside her, her knees up to her chest with a pout on her lips, Lissa looks at the girl, "I meant it, Ravka would be honored to have you as part of its Second Army."

Lissa thinks it over for a second, before her brother and Jesper come into view, "I'm not sure, Blue," Lissa yawns, "Seems like you might be desperate after...whatever the hell that was."

"You do realize I can kill you seconds?"

"Please do, I need the sleep."

Zoya rolls her eyes, Jesper hands Alina and Mal a change of clothes — whatever they'd brought with them, Alina was a relatively small girl, but she stood tall — looking at them in the eyes, "So...will you still be trying to kidnap me?"

"No, frankly, we're kind of bored now," Lissa said, another yawn escaping her mouth as her brother throws her a look, "But we might, who knows, we can't really be trusted."

"So, trust me, this should get you whatever money they were offering and more," Alina hands Kaz a truly ugly necklace — Lissa guesses it must be the gems that are worth the money because no one in their right mind would ever buy that, well, maybe Tante Heleen would, "And trust me when I also tell you this should be enough to shut you up, so you can keep quiet about who I am, where I go from here."

"Are you Ravkans always so serious and brooding...?" Lissa asks.

"Are you Kerch always so greedy?" Zoya responds with a scowl.

"Did I hear it wrong or is your country not on the brink of Bankruptcy?"

"Rotten girl."

"The deal is the deal." Kaz raised his gloved hand forward as Alina shook it with just a small smile, Inej and Jesper all had smiles on their faces, they may have been tiny but everyone knew what they meant.

Zoya gets up, waking towards the fold, "What are you doing?" Lissa gets up from behind her, "You're not going to walk inside there, are you?"

"NovoKribirsk," Zoya says and for the first time Lissa could hear any kind of emotion in her voice — pain, it was all pain, "I have family there, I need to know how much of it is lost."

"It's dangerous to go looking for the dead." Kaz says to the girl, it seems so incredibly faulty doesn't it? All of this. Zoya is seventeen, she does not deserve this — neither do any of them, they're all just kids, "What you see may haunt you for the the rest of your days."

"Not going will haunt me more." Lissa looks around at everyone. Zoya moves forward and against every judgement of Lissa she run after her, ignoring Kaz's call for her name.

"Zoya!" Lissa says, jogging up to the girl, "You cannot go in there alone, you could lose—"

"I've already lost what I cared about," Zoya said, her eyes void, "It may seem erratic, but I need to see them...to see her." Lissa looks at the girl before her, the same girl she'd been so terrified of.

Lissa says nothing but pass her a nod, "You'll be careful?"

"It's the Volcra that should fear me."

Lissa walks ahead with Jesper, laying her head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, "Jes...you know I love you, right?"

"Forget it, Liz, I'm not carrying you on my back." Lissa pouts and all of them head to the ship in silence, the damage seems so irreplaceable now. Lissa could never see the things the way she did before, but the crows survived like they always do. They always would, no matter what the world throws at them.

Lissa will certainly not get out unharmed in the next season, that's all i'm going to say. but thank u sm for reading this story everyone! i cannot wait for shadow and bone season 2 and to see our crows together :)))