Sameer Maheshwari sat at the heavy rosewood table in his room sighing and gushing at different intervals. He and Naina had come really close in the past month but he hadn't expected her to start responding to his proximity this soon. A long road he thought he would have to walk till she would finally hold his hand and walk along with him.  But Naina had started to blossom for him, letting him in to see the cracks and crevices her past had left on her present. And the more he got to see, the more he admired her. She was a force of nature: not just warm and compassionate but also brave. He, to this day, hadn't fully revealed his scars to her, he was so scared and insecure about her, he remained under the constant fear that she would leave him if she saw how broken he truly was.
Sameer gazed at the peach journal once again. The cover a soft cloth on an otherwise hard notebook. It bore no title just her name written in a cursive scrawl with a red pen. For the past three hours he had been staring at the notebook, curiosity seeping through him yet fearful of what he might find ahead. What would the dreams of his angel be like? Would there be any space for him in them? Or had she not mentioned him at all? Unable to bear this any longer, he picked up the journal and peered through it. His breath caught as he read her words: on life and love, on a broken past and a full future, and on a boy with breezy hair that she had come to adore.

Pages after pages of stories greeted his eyes and made their way to his soul. Eloquent and eclectic lines written in an artistic scrawl. His heart pounded with sheer love seeing her talent at weaving dense and profound narratives, the kind that aroused instant empathy in the reader. She had written every kind of story: from a tale of two sisters (which he thought to be about her and Preeti) to the most recent one on a boy with sad eyes that a naive girl had fallen for (which he prayed was about him and her). As pieces joined together, Sameer understood that Naina had silently conveyed to him her dream of becoming a writer. He chuckled at her innocent act to believe a mere line he had spoken a month ago. She wanted her dream to come true so ardently that she refused to risk saying it to him and instead showed it to him so profoundly. These weren't just words she had written, these were glimpses of her soul that she had given him to peek into.
He kept on reading her stories, taken by her poetic writing and the textural depth of her characters. On the last page a message was written for him:

Dear Sameer,

Shayad tumhe yeh kahaniyan bahut bachkani lage lekin inn sabme mera woh aks chupa hai jo aaj tak na koi jaan paya hai aur na samajh. Tumse milkar, baatein karkar laga ki tum shayad samajh paoge ki mere dardon ka aina bhi yeh shabd hai aur unki davai bhi. Tumne kabhi bataya nahi lekin mujhe tumme ek chupa hua lekhak dikhta hai. Kabhi likho toh batana zaroor. Mera number hai 20245679, tumhari rai jaanne ka intezaar rahega mujhe.

Tumhari priya dost,
Naina

He could feel the tears singe his eyes as he read the words so lovingly addressed to him. She understood parts of him no one else had even seen and had presented her deepest pains for him to soothe. Along with this treasure came her number that he so sought for. Without waiting a second he dialled her number and his heart leapt into his mouth when he heard her sweet voice after two rings.

"Sameer. Tumne meri diary padhi." She whispered.
"Haan kaise nahi padhta. Tumne jo di thi." He huskily answered back, imagining her reddening cheeks.
"Buddhu." She giggled "kaisi lagi meri kahaniyan?"
"Theek hi thi." He teased, wondering why he blushed at the way she had called him 'buddhu'.
"Toh theek hai kal school mein lauta dena." She said, instant annoyance in her voice.
"Arre shant Nainadevi shant. Mai toh mazak kar raha tha." He chuckled into the phone as he named her angry avatar.
"Tang mat karo na please bata do kaisi lagi." She spoke softly into the phone, he knew she would be pouting right now. How he wished he could see her.
"Acha. Bata doon? Sun payogi tum? Sharma toh nahi jaogi?" He asked, his voice raspy with the thought of her pout.
"Isme sharmaana kaisa. Batao na Sameer. Please." She spoke, her voice extra soft at the please.
"Aye haaye itne pyaar se please bologi toh batana hi padega. Toh suno. Tumhari kahaniyon se pyaar hogaya hai mujhe. Tumhari lambi zulfon ki tarah uljhi hai panktiyan tumhari. Gaalon ki laali jitni rangeen aur hothon ki hasi jitni khilkilati. Tumhare naino jitne gehre hai tumhare vichaar. Aur tumhari twacha jitne komal tumhare jazbaat."
He spoke each word as if caressing each feature he talked about. He could hear her breathing grow heavy and soon a gasp escaped her mouth. Before he could say anything else she had kept the phone down. He sighed deeply, wondering if he had offended her or just made her blush so hard that she couldn't speak anymore. Whatever it was, he would have to see if he should apologise and put his teasing on hold or increase it a notch higher.

The next morning when she didn't turn up at the park, Sameer wondered if he had gone too far last night. The last thing he wanted was to make Naina uncomfortable and push her away. For him, it was the time to erase distances and not increase them. The early morning ride to school that day seemed to him the longest journey of his life. The cold morning wind ate up at his flesh, tangling his hair. So distracted he was in Naina's thoughts that his motorcycle skidded and he ended up hurting the palm of his hand. When he finally reached school, it was already time. Roughly wrapping his hand in his handkerchief, he proceeded to go to class only to find Naina missing.

He knew something drastic had happened, so close to exams she wouldn't skip school. Worry crawled up his skin akin to sweat beads on deep summer afternoons. On asking Swati her whereabouts she told him she didn't know anything about Naina's absence but will go to her place after school. Nodding, Sameer went through the first class with extreme restlessness and a crawling sense of trepidation.

An hour later, his constant looks at the door bore fruit when his sun finally greeted him. She stood there, a scarf wrapped around her head (which puzzled him considering the heat of July) her eyes refused to meet his and she drew her face away from his vision. Handing a permission slip to kumud teacher she came to sit, still looking down. He knew she was trying to hide something from him, she didn't have the flush on her face which always attracted him. The calm glow of her skin was lost and it made his heart contort with anxiety. What could have happened after their phone call yesterday?! He had to find out, there was a gnawing intuition at the back of his head which told him she needed him. Yet it seemed an impossible ordeal to have her alone. She avoided him like the plague, staying in class all day, clinging to Swati and the other girls. All her actions just made his instinct stronger and his resolve more determined.

When Naina got up to write an equation on the board during chemistry period, Sameer passed a chit to Swati. A look of mutual acknowledgment was exchanged and Sameer knew he would finally have Naina to himself. During their free period, Swati convinced Naina to take a walk with her on the sports ground, the afternoon sun at its peak no one would go near there. As they strolled together in silence, Swati paused near a tree and looked around to make sure grounds were clear, then tapped the bark twice. Seeing Sameer step out from behind the tree, the puzzlement on Naina's face vanished and relief replaced it. Although she managed to cover that up with a look of derision, Sameer had seen the heroic image of himself which had flashed across Naina's face for the briefest of seconds. Neither the man of the match trophy in inter school cricket tournament last year nor the interstate singing trophy in ninth grade had given him the sense of achievement those few seconds had.

"Dekho Sameer, mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni. Please mujhe akela chod do." Naina said, her eyes solemn and dark.
"Naina tumhe sachme lagta hai tumhari aankhon mein yeh mayusi dekh kar mai tumhe akela chod dunga. Itna hi bharosa hai tumhe mujh par?" He asked, his voice shaking but resolute.
"Sameer please tum.." "Naina tumhe meri kasam, agar tumhare dil mein mere liye thode se bhi jazbat hai toh tum mujhe kal subah 7 baje library mein milo gi." He spoke, his voice wavering and hands fisted. He had dared to put his heart on the line now. If she didn't show up tomorrow, it could risk their chance of ever being together. But he was willing to take this risk because he had faith in his love for her and in the moments they had shared together. He had faith in the spark he had felt between them and his heart which was certain of her feelings for him. Sameer Maheshwari had just defied his Marwari business genes and put his everything on the line for a mere sense of belief.

That night, he called up Naina's phone and even though she didn't say a word he knew it was her. After all what kind of a lover would he be if he couldn't recognise the steady melody of Naina's breathing?
"Naina Mai janta hoon ki tum hi ho. Tumhe kuch kehne ki zarurat nahi hai bas meri baat sun lo. Naina, Mai nahi janta ki tumhe kya hua ya tum kal kya karogi. Bas yeh yaad rakhna tum jo bhi faisla logi mujhe apne saath hi paogi. Agar waise nahi toh ek dost ki hasiyat se hi." He spoke his voice soft and calm.

And then he sang the song which defined his every wish, his every desire, his pleas, and his love for her.

Pehla Nasha Pehla Khumaar
Naya pyaar hai
Naya intezaar
Karlu Mai kya apna haal
Ai dil e bekraar
Mere dil e bekraar
Tu hi bata

Sameer didn't sleep that night, his roaring unsettled heart didn't give him the permission to. Morning came in far too late for the desperate soul. At the first streak of light, he was up and about. Either repeatedly combing his hair to look their silky best or constantly adjusting his school shirt. Breakfast remained cold and forgotten on the side table, and before his nanu could return from his walk, Sameer had driven off on his motorcycle.

It was 6am when he reached the school, after a quick bribe of Prasad to the small road temple at the nook. He sighed, realising he was far too early and even the watchman hadn't arrived. Parking his bike to the side, he lay on it, his feet fixed on the ground. The lack of sleep caught upto him and sleep ascended like it usually does; unannounced and at the most unexpected of times. When he woke up, Naina's midnight orbs caught him off guard. A quick check of the watch told him it was 6:56 am. A jingle arose in his heart and transformed to dances of joyous butterflies in his stomach. She had shown up! A few minutes early at that! This was an acknowledgement from both their sides of feelings brewing between them.
"Sameer andar chalein? Kuch baat karni hai. Zaroori hai." Naina spoke, running into the gates with Sameer following suit.

A little while later as they sat in the library, Naina still wore the scarf from yesterday and looked everywhere else while Sameer could only look at her. Elation seemed to brew like warm sweet filter coffee in his heart. She had shown up! Even if she said anything negative now he wouldn't take it to heart because she did feel for him. When the air continued to grow palpably tense ten minutes later, Sameer decided to slice through. Only for Naina to beat him to it.

"Kyon Sameer?" She asked softly. "Kya Naina?"
"Kyon kar rahe ho tum yeh sab Sameer? Kya nata hai humara? Kya lagti hoon mai tumhari?" Naina asked, her forehead creasing as her eyes seemed to dissolve into a plethora of tiny storms.

"Ab toh kuch nahi lagti, lekin kisi din iss samaj ke saamne humare gharwalon ke aashirvaad ke saath, mai tumhe apni sab kuch banana chahunga." Sameer confessed, his voice silklike and raspy.

The partition in her hairline reddened like her cheeks. She looked down and he could see a smile teasing itself on her lips only for a shadow to flicker across her face and dismiss it.

"Lekin kyon Sameer? Kyon?"

"Kyon ka kya matlab hai Naina. Mai tumhe pasand karta hoon, pyaar hogaya hai mujhe tumse." He said, his heart in his mouth as he finally declared his love for her.

And then she looked up.

Her eyes bore a storm: dark as they were from hidden agonies, and shining with tears. He felt he could drown in her stormy gaze, such was the effect of her fierce, impassioned, and sad eyes. His breath hitched as a few tears trickled down her cheeks. Those were her tears but they singed his heart like drops of acid.

"Sameer. Tum mujhe bhool jao. Humare beech ke lamhon ko bhool jao. Apne pppyyyar ko bhool jao." She said, as she wiped furiously at the trickling water.

"Kaise bhool jaun Naina! Aur kyon bhool jaun?! Tum meri saanson mein basti ho, mere dil ki dhadkan mein rehti ho, meri har nazm ka vichaar ho, aur har muskaan ki wajah ho." He spoke, his heart flinching at the very thought of her absence. How would he live?! How would he even breathe without her?!

"Kyon karte ho tum mujhse pyaar?! Apne aap ko dekho aur mujhe dekho." She said, getting up from the chair.

"Dekh hi toh raha hoon mai Naina. Jabse pehli baar dekha tha tabse." Sameer spoke as he came to stand beside her.

"Sameer tum itne handsome, good looking ladke ho. School ke hero ho. Aur mai? Mai thehri ek behenji jiski khudki taiji use badsurat bulati hai." She said, his heart wringing at her agony. She was a tormented soul who was tormenting him.

"Naina tumhari taiji ek number ki andhi hai. Tum iss duniya ki sabse khoobsoorat ladki ho. Tumhare chehre ki chamak ke samne toh chand taare bhi peeche reh jaye. Meri nazron se khudko dekho Naina. Tum ek pari ho! Ek Nagma ho! Ek kalaakaar ka khwaab ho." He said, his eyes peering into hers. Deep scarlet blush adorned her cheeks as she lost herself in his eyes and the heated feel of his proximity. His hand gripped the table right next to hers and slowly made its way through to her soft and slender one. His little finger touched hers sending sparks flying through him when she gasped and stood apart.

"Sameer hum yeh nahi karsakte! Tum jante bhi ho ki mai Kota se wapis kyon aayi?" he shook his head petulantly "meri Tauji aur taiji ko yeh darr tha ki ek jawan ladki akele na jane kya gul khilaegi. Mere Chachaji bhi nahi mana paye unhe aur mujhe Ahemdabad aana pada apni padhaai chodkar. Agar woh log mera shehar badalwa sakte hai bas ek darr se toh socho agar hum saath hogaye toh woh kya kardenge." She spoke.

"Aur Naina tum socho agar hum saath hogaye toh humari zindagi badal jayegi. Meri toh badal hi jayegi Naina. Itne saalon se mai akela jee raha hoon ghoot ghoot kar. Bina pyaar ke. Sirf nanu hai ek jo mujh par apna sab kuch barsate hai. Munna Pandit hai jo thoda sa akelapan dur kardete hai. Lekin aaj bhi raaton mein mai so nahi pata hoon, andhera mujhe yaad dilata rehta hai ki Sameer yahi hai teri zindagi. Akelapan aur khamoshi se bhari. Sardi mein thand lagti hai toh thoda seh leta hoon kyonki aaj tak meri Ma ne apne haathon se mere liye ek sweater tak nahi bunna hai. Bhook lagne par kisine pyaar se banakar khana nahi khilaya hai. Meri andar ek chubhan ek darr rehta tha ki mai shayad puri zindagi aise hi andhere mein ghuta rahunga. Fir tum aayi Naina aur mujhe uss andhkaar mein roshni ki thodi si Asha dikhi. Tumhari muskurahat, tumhare hassi, tumhari baatein mera dil bharti hai. Aur tum keh rahi ho mai bhool jao tumhe. Kyon Naina? Kaise?" He leaned over her, slamming his hand on the table behind her. And then yelped the next second as the injury from yesterday triggered with blood and pain.

Instantly, Naina stiffened and sprang to action. Without slightest hesitation, she held his injured hand, her eyes tearing up. The first touch shook him from inside out, seared him where her long slender fingers left her imprint, and made his heart flutter to the end of days and back. Her skin was softer and warmer than he could have ever imagined yet this moment meant so much more. In the dim light of the library, surrounded by old wooden bookshelves and antique rustic books, with blood trickling down his hand her touch symbolised the soothing his gentle angel will bring to his scars of old and fresh wounds.

"Sameer abhi toh nurse bhi nahi hogi. Chalo chalkar dekhte hai agar first aid box class mein hai. Chalo please. Aise kyon khade ho tum? Chup chap chalo." She said, her voice wavering.

And there Sameer had his answer. Her tears, her concern, her care, her touch. He knew he had found in her, the one who would love him endlessly into the waning night and care for his every wish as if it were her own. Because that's who Naina was. She lived for others more than she lived for herself. But with him, he had seen her live for herself too and he would make sure that he lived to fulfil her dreams and promises like she would his. This would be the woman he would love and care for. He would dream and live for. Because now that he knew she loved him, he would bend her will to make her his. His love would triumph over her fears and she would be his till the end of his life. To hold and cherish forevermore.