I promise you I wasn't heard that day.
My cries were muffled by my hand,
My pillow was suffocated;

I didn't let out even a whimper

I promise you I didn't scream that day
My anger and frustration dissipated,
because I knew no one would listen.
It was boiling inside me.
Raging to bubble out.
But I didn't even cry.

I promise you I lied that day,
I wasn't really fine you know,
I didn't have the strength to carry myself.
My insides were mush.
I did my best to hide it.
But I promise,
no one got to know.

I promise you I was hurt that day,
the insults weren't jokes anymore,
I swear to you.
The words sliced through me,
much like the blade that later did.
It did hurt, I won't lie like that time.

I promise you I honestly felt like dying.
My half-written suicide letters were on the verge of being done.
I know, you won't believe me ;
But I am capable of being sad
And
I hardly let my pillow dry.

I promise you I regretted laughing that day.
I didn't want people to assume I am always happy-go-lucky.
I didn't want them to not expect me to be upset.
I honestly wanted them to consider I was human.

I promise you I am not even existing half the time.
I feel like an empty barrel,
A dry spell of water in a village.
A summer leaf on the verge of breaking.
A cracked piece of glass.
A fist of sand slipping away.

I promise you I am still trying.
But it is not the easiest thing to do
I am not lying, but I wish there was someone to be with,
not as a friend, but at least as a shadow.
At least they won't leave.

It's alright for now,
I am living,
but it is a little hard to,

I promise you that.