Dear Diary,

So much has happened in one last week that I don't understand how much to share with you or what exactly to share with you but there is so much in me, so many feelings that I can't help but share with you.

I want to share this last week with you.
Each and every detail that happened with me but, I know I can't remember half the things that happened to me or around me.

So much has changed in the last week, I am changed! But really I can't express how much, yet I want to.

I want to tell you all about it.
I want to vent all these emotions, all these thoughts in you but I don't know how to put them in words. I can't speak to anyone else about it.
You are my only confidante, the only one with whom I can share all these overwhelming feelings but I don't know where to start.

I know I should start from the beginning that's what they say in movies. But that seems difficult.
Yet I will try;

You remember I told you last time that I was bored. Bored with this life. Bored with this day to day routine.

I wanted a change.

Any kind of change.

And it happened. The one last week changed everything for me. It changed my perspective of life, of living, so much that I can't help but wonder 'is it really me? Or a ghost has possessed me or something?'

Crazy na!

I know I'm being crazy, talking to you like talking to a real friend. But you are my real friend. The only person with whom I'm able to share all my thoughts and I need you now more than ever to listen to my blabbering (or more like have it written in you)

So you know I went to my uncle's place last week for a two-days function na. I went alone because dad wasn't feeling well and mom didn't wanted to leave him alone.

So when I was coming back things changed dramatically. The train track near Bhivani was jammed. The Jaats of Haryana has started a protest, a movement, to force government's hands to give them the reservation they are demanding for years.
I remembered I heard about it, that Jaats are blocking roads and train tracks in some parts of the state to show their anger towards the government but I didn't pay it much attention. I thought they will stop it in a few hours or a couple days at top, like they did before but how wrong I was! Because things started to go downhill after that.

My train was stopped near Bhivani station. Train guard, driver, passengers everyone tried to talk to the protestants. Ask them to leave the tracks but they won't listen. We waited there for hours but nothing happened even police couldn't help. And finally at the end of the day when they didn't stray from the tracks, we have to leave. We backtracked to the station on foot. We trudged miles lugging our bags. So many oldies trying to help each other on the pebbled, untarred road. Women carrying crying children and men shouldering heavy luggage. All moving towards one destination 'Bhivani Junction'. Hundreds of people from different places with different destination were forced to stay at one place because of a half-mad mob. Crazy na, but that's the reality for you :(

'Why can't you people just live and let live?
Is it too hard to give peace to people who really deserve it?'

I wanted to ask these questions to these Jaats who were blocking our roads and railway tracks.

Who gave them the right to do anything that goes against the good of others? Can't we, common people, have a safe trouble-less journey?

What made them think that this way they will get it. And I mean when Supreme Court, the greatest authority of India say that you don't deserve the reservation then who are you to ask for it? Why can't you just live your life peacefully and let us live ours?

Why can't you understand this small matter that even I, a young girl who has no political knowledge at all, can see plainly. Seriously why are people so stubborn. They just think of themselves and nothing else matters to them.

I know, I know you must be saying,

"You don't know about their situation or what facts or reasons encouraged them to take such a huge step."

Yes, I don't know about them, or their reasons, but you tell me was it okay to destroy so many things, shops, buses, malls and anything that they have a mind to destroy, just to show their anger or rather justifying their cause by such violent acts?

Is violence answer to everything?

They could have done it peacefully you know. Without any violence or brutality that they showed to innocent people like us, but no they have to become the enraged bull, who know nothing but one thing that is DESTRUCTION. No reason could work with them. And nothing could convince them that, what they are doing will ultimately harm them.

Such brutes, I tell you these people are!

But I can't accuse all the Jaats either because there were many in my train, who were well educated and they actually opposed this protest. They understand that the movement won't bring the results they so desire. And they were very much ashamed of the riot that the movement turned to in the ensuing days.

We reached Bhivani station in the late evening, so it was decided that we will stay the night there, the TC and the train driver assured us that by the next morning the tracks will be opened again. We could wait on the station or find lodgings around for the night.

Several of the passengers decided to stay there and I was one of them. I was alone and this was the first time that I was spending a night out of home and that too alone, with all these strangers crowding the station, surrounding me.

After my day in the train and during my trek to the station, I became familiar with this humble lady. She was old, not too old, mind you. She might be in her fifties. She was very sweet and caring. She too was alone so I decided to stay with her that way we both won't be alone in the throng of strangers.

Jaya aunty (that's her name, nice na!) was so sweet that she didn't ask me any questions when I placed my backpack near her on the floor. Yes floor, shocked na. We were so many on the station that there wasn't enough space on the station floor, lest the benches and waiting room. Our train wasn't the only one which was stopped, there were many other trains which were stopped by these protesters. Many were diverted from their tracks, as not to be caught up in the movement.

At that moment I remember feeling happy that very morning, when I reached station and find train still on the station, even though it was past ten minutes to it's usual leaving time. But now I dread it.
'Why do I have to reach on time?' is what I ask myself. If I were late more five minutes, just five minutes, then I would at least still be in my uncle's home, safe and secure and not sitting in the middle of these strange-strange people.
It was so awkward. Yes Jaya aunty was with me and the kind lady offered me her food too but... but still it was awkward.
How can you not feel awkward, while sitting in the middle of people whom you never met before. Of course, you're mean to feel awkward and like a loner when these strangers stare at you at your every movement. Even a slight movement made by me feel agonizing as I could just feel people staring at me.

As the time passed, the night grew, the noise decreased as the children were put to sleep and most people were trying to sleep in whatever place they could find in the crowded station. Even Jaya aunty was asleep. Almost everyone was asleep but I was one of the few who couldn't help but be awake in the strange surroundings. I'm not a heavy sleeper and sleep is almost impossible for me when I'm in the strange places, alone and without anybody whom I could trust. My mom call it paranoia but I don't believe her. Sure it take some time for me to fall asleep in strange places but I'm not paranoid, I'm not na?
Even if I am, don't I have the right to be paranoid about all the strange people that surround me? And what if someone from outside came, some thief who wanted to steal my things? What will I do without my things or money on that station?
All these thoughts kept me awake and made me restless. And in that small place that I occupied on the station, every little movement made by me felt monitored.
Before someone could chide me for my restlessness I stood up because I know sleep won't come to me so it was better to move from there lest I disturb anyone else. And I was also feeling hungry. Haven't eaten anything since that morning. I didn't bring anything to eat with me and couldn't have the food Jaya aunty offered me. The kind lady didn't have enough for herself, how can I take even a morsel  from her ' but now what to do with this hunger of mine?' I thought to myself.

Walking on the platform I saw a vendor selling bread-pakora near the other end of the platform. I was feeling so hungry that a few feet to the cart seem too long. I was hungry and tired after a long day and the stress of being alone in the middle of all these strangers was making me hungrier. So even the short distance feel too long.

But I told myself that just in few minutes I will have the delicious pakora in my hand and this hunger of mine will finally be quenched. The more I get near the cart the less I focused on my surroundings. The only thing I could focus on was the delicious snack that would save me from dying of hunger.
A few feet away from cart and I could smell the delicious smell of cooked Besan(gram flour). That smell was so delicious, so intoxicating that I could think nothing but devouring the whole cart full of pakoras, I felt that hungry.

I was so lost in the smell that I didn't see the bnana peel lying near the cart. The moment I stepped on it I slipped. One moment I was falling backward, hands flailing trying to catch hold of something to save myself from the impending fall, and the next I was in the hold of something rather someone.
For some seconds I felt unconscious, my eyes were opened yet I couldn't comprehend what really happened. I was expecting immense pain from the collision of my body with the hard platform floor but instead I was feeling secured in the soft arms of a stranger.

Was it real or a dream that this beautiful stranger was holding me. Of course it's just a dream. I'm being delusional is all. Maybe I hit my head on the hard platform floor and now was paying for my carelessness by these delusions.

But suddenly before I could realise anything, I was set on my foot gently, too gently and I was out of the arms of this beautiful stranger. But he still held my shoulders, steadying me, lest I fall again. So thoughtful of him. But the moment his hands left my shoulders a sigh left my lips involuntarily. At that moment I wanted to fall again, fall again so he could catch me again.

I don't know if he saw what I was feeling on my face or it was as blank as I was feeling at that moment without his arms holding me. But  whatever it was that he saw that made him smile. He was smiling on me. And the thought that his beautiful smile was for me have me blushing.

And it was only then I heard laughter, laughter of not just one but many persons. And it was only at that precise moment I noticed that we weren't alone. And there were at least five to six people who were standing around the cart and all were males of different ages.

It was then that I felt the tendrils of embarrassment embracing me,enveloping me from all sides. I was alone on this secluded area of platform, so far from the crowd that if these men decided to do something with me then I won't be able to get help in time. Anything could happen to me. And this thought have me panicked.

In my panicked state, their laughter felt demonic, sinister. Scared and embarrassed I started walking backward. Thank God there was no banana peel this time to make me slip or I would have faced a great difficulty. I walked slowly backward at first  but a few feet away from them I  turned around and started walking fast. No hunger or smell of delicious food blinded me at that moment. The fear for myself and the thought of strangers around  me was the only thought  in my mind.

I was scared and the only thing I could feel was this fear. I felt blind and deaf. I could see nothing, my eyes couldn't focus on a thing. The only thing on my mind was the light to which I  was running,the light that symbolize safety for me at that moment.

I was so scared, so panicked that the only sound I could  hear was the  loud beating of my heart and pounding of blood in my ears. I couldn't hear a sound. Didn't know if they were after me, chasing me or just standing there. But a moment later I felt a hand on my shoulder. They were after me.

'O God Save Me!'

I closed my eyes and prayed to the God, the one my mother always say is there, unseen but still there. I don't know if he's there or not or if he do exist or not? But I still prayed in the hopes that he will save me. Save me from a fate worse than death.

But next moment I heard a voice, not of God, but of the human who was standing behind me, holding my shoulder.

"Hey you forgot this."

Hearing the sweet voice I opened my eyes and looked back at his hand, in which he was holding my backpack, the one that hold in it all my money and the bare minimum things I have packed for my short visit, which was extended without my will.

"O Thank you! I must have left it behind in my pa........hmm" taking the bag from his hands I tried to clear the blunder I made by my careless or almost careless confession. But he didn't point it out and just said 'It's okay'. After this I... we stayed there  a minute or two, standing silently, gazing at anything but each other.

So after two minutes when I realized that there was nothing we could say to each other or talk about. I again said 'Thank You' and started moving back to the crowded area of the station, where I could reclaim my place on the floor besides Jaya aunty. Hopefully no one has claimed the place I left vacant. And if they have what can I do. It's not like I'm  going to fall asleep the moment I sat down to sleep. 'Sleep won't come to my panick and hungry self',I thought begrudgingly and started walking, slowly this time. But before I could go a feet, he called me again.

"Here!"

I looked back to him but he said nothing, instead with his eyes he pointed to his hand which was extended towards me. He was holding something in it. I extended my hand to his as automatic response but before my hand could touch his, I hesitated. 'He's a stranger. What if he did something to you?' My mind cautioned me but looking to his eyes again,I gathered my courage and took what he was offering  to me. It was warm and wrapped in newspaper. I opened it and find a warm freshly fried bread pakora. Just looking at the pakora brought a bright smile on my lips but then I  remember that it wasn't mine. So I  tried to return it. But he told me that it was for me.

"No, you please take it. You must be hungry. This is for you."
Just after he finished his sentence he left, went back to the pakora cart.

For a few seconds I kept staring on his back but then as my fears resided my hunger made it's appearance again reminding me that I was hungry and I have my food right here in my hand.

O how much I love pakoras! But before I could take a bite, my rational mind made another appearance and again cautioned me against eating food given by strangers. I was of two minds now. I wanted to follow  the advice of my rational mind and throw the  pakora away but I  also wanted to listen to my hungry stomach who was grumbling for food that I have denied it since this morning.

What to do?

What to do?

Just then the thought occurred to me that I should go back to my place beside Jaya aunty first and then there I should eat it. It will be relatively safe there. And that's exactly what I did. And it was so delicious.

I don't know why but the pakora tasted far better than it usually does. Maybe it was because I was hungry or maybe because it was given to me by my savior, who saved me yet again.

O didn't I mentioned he was the same stranger who saved me from the embarrassing fall near the pakora cart. And now he saved me from dying with hunger.

"O God!" I almost shouted. I didn't even gave him the money for the pakora. I must find him and return it.
And with that last thought all the tension of the day caught up with me and I finally fall asleep. Exhausted yet I can feel a smile on my lips.

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Hello Dear Readers,

I hope you liked this story.
First of all I didn't plan to publish this story today but seeing that today is Haryana Diwas or 50th anniversary of Haryana, I decided to post it today. Hopefully this chapter is not too bad. And you all are liking it.

Hopefully I will be able to upload next chapter soon till then Enjoy.

Happy 50th anniversary to my fellow Haryanvis.

Thank you for giving it your time 😘

Your Friend

Kanchan Mehta ☺